Matters of the heart

The school holiday has come to an end. We (or maybe I) survived the 7 week break without going bonkers. Entertaining kids these days is no joke, especially for a person who has limited vocabulary when it comes to fun and creativity. Thankfully we had the kids’ centre which provided the much needed activities. The young lady enjoyed herself, with trips to Safari Park, Zoo, theatre show, horse riding to name a few. On the days they stayed at the centre, they learnt arts craft, cooked/baked and played outdoor sports. All in all, I’m glad she had fun and made new friends.

We will go back to the usual routine but after weeks of having packed lunch, the young lady has requested for such during school term. I suppose it is manageable for the time being. Things might change after a few weeks, depending on the market. If it does, school dinners will do (it is actually lunch and I have no idea why they call it such).

The young lady looks forward to the start of a new term, but she knows it will be a matter of time for us to bid farewell to this place. Still, the heart hesitates for it longs for the presence of the rest of the loved ones back home. It doesn’t make it easier when they say one should follow one’s heart, only to be felt otherwise by the subsequent opinions given. If the heart rules, living back home is no longer ideal even in the long run. Many could not see the practicality of such decision.

Yet, if a compromise decision is made and in the best interest of all parties, surely it can be seen as a solution. What works for some, may not work for others. There will always be difference in opinions and to please everyone can be a nightmare.

There is one thing for sure. For the first in a very long time, I am looking forward to Eid...


Picture from MSN

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Staying in

“So where will you go for berbuka?” asked a friend.

Admittedly, I don’t really fancy having iftar outside. Over the years I developed the liking of dining at the comfort of our home. This year I have been lucky. My schedule is quiet and thus, I manage to cook almost on daily basis.

Unlike the usual food galore we have back home, ours consists of a main meal and two types of desserts. I try to prepare something special over the weekend or cater to the requests from close friends. So far, we had ayam percik, steamed seabass thai style, pulut kuning and rendang. Weekdays are simpler, with a touch of international fusion.

My next challenge is to make Malaysian delicacies as I don’t think they are hard to do (as texted by one of you). The young lady is looking forward to this experiment. Hmm, I wonder if it turns out well, maybe I can do this as a side income? The going rate for a piece of Malaysian delight is 50p!

Have I gone soft, for just wanting to have iftar at home? I rather host dinner for friends than having our meal outside. I know it is tiring i.e. cooking for a group of people, but probably for just one month, I'd like to stay in.

Somehow I feel the young lady appreciates it too. It reminds me of the saying 'a family that eats together stays together'.

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Lesson from Mraz

.......(still thinking of what to write)......

After almost 24 hours, I still cant manage to pull together my thoughts and let the idea flow. The mind boggles too much (or maybe the heart is trying to say something).

Darn! I hate it when I have no control of myself. I hate of having my words mumbled or tongue twisted. I hate it when I come back from a “hang-out” session singing to myself, raising the eyebrows of people close to me.

Most of all, I hate it when I dont really know what exactly is driving me nuts. The idea of meeting someone at this junction when I know which path I will be taking is just something that I do not foresee. Let alone when the person involved is the most unlikely to have anything in common as the gap is there. Which is bothering me the most, the junction or the gap?

But then again, who does?

Definitely I did not see this coming... Maybe I should stick to spending my time with books. At least when I reach the part which can be overwhelming, I can skip a few chapters.


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A tale of milk and cereal

Somehow I am lacking of ideas to write, probably due to the effect of fasting. I did have one or two posts drafted in my thoughts but it seemed they were not appropriate (it wasnt x-rated mind you). They were just provoking e.g. the marriage institution, the concept of love, of being a muslim etc.

Perhaps I shall write about the young lady's view on fasting.

It's a habit for me to wake up for sahur, even when I stayed on my own at the age of 18. However, instead of the usual rice and dishes (which includes salty egg and dried fish), mine consists of a mug of hot drink and bread. I cant stuff myself too much in the morning but I simply have to eat something, especially back then when the weather was blazing hot and iftar was after 9pm.

It happened a few years ago, I think she just turned 4. I remembered one morning when I prepared for my sahur, the place we lived back then was small (I had a hefty child-care expenses and my earnings was much less than now). I supposed the noise from the kitchen woke the young lady. From the bedroom, I could hear her tiny voice asking for me. I went inside and stroked her to go to sleep but her eyes were saying otherwise. She asked, "what are you doing mummy?"

I explained to her that I was going to eat as I'd be fasting. "May I join you?" she said without hesitation.

It was a weekend and we could sleep in, unlike on a normal working day which meant we needed to be on time to the nursery and my office. So I thought, why not.

So she waited patiently at the dining table while I prepared her milk and cereal. We then sat and enjoyed sahur together. From then onwards, she does her best to keep me company in the morning. Of course this is only allowed on weekends.

Eventually she developed an interest to fast. I only allowed her to do half day when she was five. When she was six, she managed to complete a few days. Perhaps one day I shall share the story with you but for now, I will leave as it is. To me, those moments were precious, having her to join me in the wee hours of the morning.

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Giddy-up horsie

Picture from wiki

The young lady wasn’t in the pink of health for a week but being her, she begged profusely to go to the horse-riding trip on Thursday. I had a dilemma, whether to let her rest at home or proceed as planned. Since her fever was very mild i.e. 37 degrees and her cough had stopped, I decided to let her go (obviously with guilt stuck down in my throat). I told myself that I would deal with the consequences later (but deep down I prayed that everything would turn out ok).

Oh boy! She had loads of fun! She couldn’t stop talking about it from the moment the nanny picked her up until I came home later that evening. Her horse goes by the name of Penny. It wasn’t like the typical slow ride we get at the zoos or funfairs (I told her I rode one when I was about her age during my trip to the National Zoo back home). She described the speed of the ride and her butt hurt because of the galloping. Oh, they had to wear those rider boots. She had to wear a few size bigger as there were none in hers.

“and no mummy, horses dont understand ‘giddy-up horsie’. They wont move if we say that”, she said.

Ok.. mummy learnt something new. *grins*

I supposed the magic of the ponies somehow cured her as she is definitely much better.

Anyway, both of us would like to wish everyone a blessed Ramadan! Someone has started today, no? *winks*

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Bimbo moment

The more evolved we are, the more complex our way of thinking.

I recently purchased a dvd player. The old one, which was by the way integrated with the TV, was not functioning well. It had glitches occasionally. Well, many times I must say that I got bloody irritated. As I was emotionally unstable, I thought it was a good thing to make the purchase (women and hormones. Excuses to get new things).

So the young lady and I enjoyed a few hours of dvd reruns in our living room. The other TV is in my bedroom. The TV in the living room is bigger and err... nicer. The young lady couldnt get enough of the quality of the picture and sound.

However, another glitch occurred. While trying to reconnect to my digital box set, all the channels seemed to have lost. I tried everything I could think of but nothing worked. I thought the problem was due to the main antenna and maybe an indoor stand-alone or reception booster could do the trick.

Obviously I was fuming mad and feeling frustrated, thinking once again on why these things keep occurring.

So I left the problem for awhile. It was best not to think of it and ruin the lovely weekend.

It was only late Sunday evening when I was compelled on putting the dvd player and digital box side-by-side instead of on top of one another. Somehow, miraculously the channels were back.
To even think that I would have spent on those additional costs (indoor antenna, booster, tv technician) for nothing when the solution to my problem was downright simple.

Or perhaps I had one of those bimbo-moments, minus the blonde hair and stilettos.

*Ms B is currently competing with Sneezy, the dwarf in Snow White, blowing her nose like there is no tomorrow. She tries to hide herself from the view of her colleagues, who think she ought to go home and give herself a break.*

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Shake your booty

On a day when I got home early, I managed to catch an episode of this and somehow, I just cant get enough(please mute mixpod before playing the video):





Each time I watch, I can feel every muscle dancing along its tune, mentally speaking of course. I'm sure if I get up and shake my booty, I bet I can hear cracks here and there. I'm reminded of the days when I used to hit the floor for a few hours with the partner-in-crime, surviving on a bottle of water. As she now resides in the Land Down Under, it wont be anytime soon for us to rekindle the passion. Oh I forgot. The young lady has seen some of my moves and is keen to get my groove back, dancing together at a nearby park and totally oblivious of everyone.

Hmm, having an active child does keep you fit (at least it works for me. Why waste on gym’s fees?).

Have a good weekend friends!

Blast from the past

How was your weekend? Except for momster, I hope the rest had a good one. My weekend was awesome. On Saturday, I met a dear friend who went to the same uni. Her first remark was, “your skin looks good”, while poking my face (now I know why kids hate it when people pinch their cheeks). I told her she lost more weight from the last time I saw her (I reckon she's down to size 6), obviously due to workload. She's still a very cool chic and a hot mama of 2. We reminisced the past and she reminded me of what people used to label us, “the outcast”, simply because most of our friends were non-malay. I rather joined the college's chess club than those typical malay societies/clubs, not that I knew how to play one of course. The notion of meeting people from different background and trying to bridge the cultural and language barrier excited me.

Lunch took place in Covent Garden where I devoured a plate of fisherman’s pie. It was late and I was starving. The crowd was huge, typical on a sunny day as Londoners were out enjoying the warm weather. The street performers were happy as it meant they’d get more tips.

The shopping rendezvous planned on Sunday was cancelled as my friend had other errands. Nevertheless, I decided to proceed with the nanny’s arrangement and thought it’d be nice to shop on my own. As I walked into our regular hang-out for brunch, a familiar face appeared. He stood up and said, “I know this person”. I blurted his name out loud and couldn’t believe my luck. He was another buddy of mine back in uni who was here for a few weeks on an assignment.

As he had no plans, we decided to go shopping together at the mall in West End. Gosh, it really felt like the good old days. I cant remember how much fun we had back then. He still looks the same, in fact better I must say. Interesting enough, most of the guys I know who remain in shape or look better as they age are single (and successful). The excuses given were the lack of free time and demanding job.

Anyway, it has been awhile since I last shopped with a guy, or more like trying to help a guy choose his things. It was interesting and funny. We even share the same taste i.e. MD! And no, he is not gay. *lol* Maybe I should nominate him to be the next Cleo’s eligible bachelor.

On another note, I wonder when do we get to see him in a steamy scene *winks*:

Picture from IMDB

The very hungry caterpillar

picture from the telegraph.

The young lady is back to her usual self, chirpy and gutsy. I think it was because they had a trip to the zoo yesterday which made her more adamant to beat the blues. As for me, I am getting there. Thankfully, my work has kept me busy and includes higher responsibilities, preparing things which are usually done by a level above.

But hey, my life is still full of interesting happenings. *winks*

A few days ago, I received the following text (redacted version):
“hi hot hucci mama. Wanna eat me 2nyte?”

Thinking it was a prank (it is very common here), I showed it to a friend who is more of a younger sister to me. She then highlighted that the words used seemed to suggest that the person knew me and the spelling reflected that it was written by someone from her generation. It didn’t take me long to figure it out and my suspicion was right. A few days later, that person confirmed that the text was sent by him.

Ah, perhaps a candy boy was trying his luck, eh?

Age is not a requirement to hang out. However, it seems the younger generation is more direct and persuasive. They have no reservation to say what they really want. However, in my world, even if you look like Nate Archibald or Lucas (ok, maybe I should add Edward Cullen tho I still don’t see his sex appeal), the phrases used are such a turn-off. In addition, the spelling really shows the generation gap. I’d probably consider if tonight was spelt “tonite” instead of “2nyte”.

Why when they were boys, such innocence was portrayed? Yet, the moment they start working, they lose their way and become very itchy caterpillars. An entrance to the working class does not give you the key to unimaginable opportunities. If at the beginning you couldn’t go far, not even a date, what makes you think you can do so now?

Besides, I do not tolerate boys with raging hormones!!!! Get a grip, will you? Geesh!

As one friend said, “it is the role reversal when dating matured women is what makes the forbidden fruit sweeter.”

The caterpillar better finds another forbidden fruit if he does not want to be sprayed with pesticides.
Have a nice weekend friends!

*Ms B is looking forward to another girly weekend. A trip to the cinema tonight to watch Sandra's new film, followed by lunch on Saturday with a girlfriend & her boss who are in town for business meetings. She reckons it is a match-making scheme. She will end her weekend with a shopping rendezvous on Sunday.*

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Hope floats

Picture from foxmovies

Birdee Pruitt: You know, I always thought I was gonna be, I don't know, special. But I'm not. I'm just... I'm just an ordinary person. And that's OK. Because... you make me special. Don't you know that? Don't you know that you're everything in this world to me? And we're gonna make it through this because we are a team. Birdee and Bernice, the coolest chicks in Smithville. So don't you ever think about leaving me again... because I need you. I love you.
Bernice Pruitt: I love you too.

Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will, too...

***************

I never get tired watching this but somehow tonight, I could relate to the story a lot. So many similar scenes.....

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Much needed hot bubble bath

It hasn’t even been a week and yet many dramas unfolded. From preparing a proposal within a short notice to an urgent request for a deal abroad topped by the young lady’s minor accident, it is a surprise that I can still maintain my composure. Calm on the outside, freaking out in the inside. I just had to play my cards right of course. There is no escaping from being away but it is better to be on one with less time abroad or within reasonable distance from home in case of an emergency.

Just when I thought things were getting back to normal, fate decided to add more spices. Less than an hour ago, we had a fire brigade at our home. There was an electrical short circuit and they said it was a good thing that I called when I smelt something burning. Apart from the whole place stinking, it was safe to stay. They managed to control and isolate the trigger.

And no, there weren’t any cute or handsome looking firemen. I think those exist in tv dramas. As for me, I had some sense to change into decent attire. I wouldn’t want to look like the ladies in Desperate Housewives, clad in their sexy lingerie (my passion for this is as good as books and bags).

Before the young lady dozed off (for the second time tonight), she asked, “ were you scared mummy?”

“Yes. How about you?” I said.

“Me too.” She paused for awhile before continuing, “are you going to cry again?” She was referring to last night moment when my emotions were overwhelmed while I changed her bandage. I was quite good at maintaining my coolness since it took place but as like any mom and woman, I felt it reached its limit and let the dam burst.

So do excuse me if I am feeling low at the moment. With the dramas I had so far, I think I deserve to have a bath full of clear salty liquid.

Although I feel it makes more sense to have a hot bubble bath accompanied by The Man (I think I shall stick to Dempsey for this part, judging how he does it), caressing my body and soul with TLC.

Tagged

momster tagged me. I bet n.i. looks forward to this posting. *grins*

1. Bekas kekasih saya adalah:
*mengambil masa yang agak lama untuk berfikir disebabkan ada beberapa orang*

2. Saya sedang mendengar:
pengarah-pengarah sedang berbincang.

3. Mungkin saya patut:
balik ke rumah dan berehat.

4. Saya suka:
Melancong bersama anak saya, terutama sekali ke tempat yang mempunyai banyak peninggalan sejarah.

5. Sahabat-sahabat baik saya:
adalah mereka yang menerima saya dengan seadanya.

6. Saya tak faham:
kenapa orang berbelanja lebih dari kemampuan.

7. Saya kehilangan:
sabar apabila orang bertanya soalan yang sungguh tidak relevan seperti bila anda hendak berumahtangga.

8. Ramai yang berkata:
saya sombong dan tidak mempunyai perasaan.

9. Makna nama saya:
Azam and girang.

10. Cinta itu adalah:
sesuatu yang sukar untuk memiliki dan apabila sudah dijumpai, harus dijaga dengan seikhlas hati.

11. Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang:
sibuk bercerita tentang lawatan ke safari semalam (anak dara saya). Antara haiwan yang dilihat adalah singa bersama 2 teman wanita, ‘antelope’, harimau, monyet, anjing laut, ‘penguin’.

12. Saya akan cuba:
sedaya upaya untuk tidak perlu pergi ke sebuah bandar Eropah berdekatan dengan banjaran gunung Alps untuk selama beberapa minggu atas urusan kerja. *dikemaskini – saya mendapat alternatif lain dan tidak perlu pergi. Gembira sekali*

13. Ayat SELAMANYA membawa maksud
infiniti (perkataan kegemaran anak saya).

14. Telefon bimbit saya:
Ada 3 (1 PDA/Blackberry, 1 kegunaan rasmi dan 1 peribadi). Saya sudah lama tidak membeli telefon kerana syarikat saya membiayainya dan boleh ditukar setiap tahun. Tetapi saya jatuh cinta dengan E63 berwarna merah dan membelinya pada tahun ini.

15. Bila saya terjaga dari tidur:
saya memandang muka anak saya.

16. Saya paling meluat apabila:
orang bertalam dua muka.

17. Pesta/Parti adalah:
sesuatu yang diraikan bersama orang yang bermakna didalam hidup anda dan tidak perlu berlebihan.

18. Haiwan yang paling comel yang saya pernah temui ialah:
koala di Sydney Zoo.

19. Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan bagi saya ialah:
mestilah sekarang kerana saya rasa saya betul-betul menikmati kehidupan, terutama sekali di samping anak saya.

20. Hari ini:
saya rasa amat mengantuk sekali kerana saya hanya dapat tidur 4 jam sahaja semalam.

21. Malam ini saya akan:
Menonton tv.

22. Esok pula saya akan:
Datang ke pejabat walaupun hati saya teringin untuk pergi membeli-belah kerana gaji akan masuk.

23. Saya betul-betul inginkan:
Untuk berhenti kerja dan duduk di rumah menjaga anak saya, sambil membiarkan simpanan saya membuat pulangan yang cukup untuk membiayai kos pembelanjaan kami.

24. Ketika saya lihat wajah saya di hadapan cermin pagi ini:
pedulilah segala jerawat dan kedutan. Saya tidak mempunya masa untuk berfikir semua itu terutama sekali pada hari kerja.

25. Pusat membeli-belah atau arked permainan:
Pusat membeli belah.

26. Makanan Barat atau Jepun:
Barat.

27. Bilik yang terang atau gelap:
Bergantung pada aktiviti, betul tak?

28. Makanan segera adalah:
cepat dan ringkas.

29. Ayat terakhir yang anda katakan pada seseorang?
See you soon honey.

30. Siapa yang anda mahu tag?

inah, Jane, Hunny, Fizzy dan juga sesiapa yang rajin nak buat!

Of half naked men and brand

I always wondered what the fuss of the above clothing was. In fact, when I first passed by one of the shops, I thought it was an exhibition place or studio as the building was somewhere in a back alley and it had a queue in front. When I got closer, I saw a half naked man striking a pose at the porch, confirming my suspicions that it could be a studio which exhibited live models.

It was only much later when I was asked to find such brand by someone (it happens I’m a personal shopper for friends for a mere teh tarik and roti canai as commission) that I realised the place was actually a shop!

As one enters, one cannot help feeling how inadequate he or she is surrounded by gorgeous looking sales assistants. The ladies are tall, slim and slender with hour glass body whilst the blokes have well toned figure. The guys take turns to be a model at the porch, displaying their asset for the benefit of us ladies. Oh, one of the girls will be a photographer using a Polaroid camera and customers are welcomed to take a picture with the bloke.

Interesting eh? *grins* Of course, the young lady wasn’t impressed when she saw that, not when the girls went goo-goo ga-ga to get their hands on the poor chap.

My only reservation about these places is their concept of using very dim lights. I couldn’t see the items and where I was going, especially when they were crowded. Yet, I think the atmosphere helps customers to spend more than necessary as it makes them ten times gorgeous upon trying their clothing. Unfortunately, I have yet to be fooled by the whole thing and still dont understand why people keep flocking.

However, if you need some stress reliever or just to “cuci mata”, feel free to drop by. Just have fun with all those eye candies and if you are bold enough, take a picture with the half naked bloke. I wouldn’t be surprised if women pinch his ass. *lol*

It's raining

It’s raining.
It’s pouring.
The old man is snoring.
He went to bed and bumped his head and couldn’t wake up in the morning.

And so it was. For the past few days, rain seemed to have taken the city, with occasional sunshine which was not enough to keep us jolly and for us be able to wear our frocks without hesitation. Whoever brought back the legging style, I’m sure most of us are thankful to them. The young lady is able to wear her dresses and skirts without feeling chilly. All girls (and women) want to be chic and the legging is definitely a solution during these times.

My routine has been somewhat off. I thought I would have trouble keeping myself occupied but boy was I wrong. Everyday there is something to do or people to meet. I suppose it was a good thing to be staying put. I managed to meet the Godmother, Mrs Dior, the lady with 3 heroes and one heroine (which ended up with ice cream treat for the kids) and a few others.

Thus, the blog was slowly drifting away, tucked in the corner of this mind of mine. I realise I dont have much to write whenever I’m on a break. Obviously I cant be a writer who often takes long holiday in a French chateau or beach villa in a middle of nowhere just to get their creative juice pumping. I suppose the daily (and dull) routine helps my idea to flow better. Or perhaps I perform well while under pressure (yeah right).

Despite the so-called hectic schedule, I still managed to squeeze some shopping time. One book shop was closing down, with 50% discount at a minimum. We came back with two bags of books! An Enid Blyton – The Family Collection book was only £2.50 (was £10).

Ah, I must admit that I have to stay away from MD. I usually end up with something each time I pop in. The last time I went, I grabbed 3 items of clothing. To be fair, they were 70% less, thus a good bargain. I must admit I no longer have the energy to show up at a store at 6am in the morning during sale season. I did that once just to prove to friends that I’ve tried that. *grins* I guess I’m lucky to be able to find something that I like even after the shops had their sales for weeks already, although I dont think it’s a good excuse to be getting an item each time I visit MD. (can you blame me when they are marked down seriously low?)

The sun is out now and I suppose I should take the young lady out for awhile. Perhaps strawberry milkshake might do the trick.

Twilight books

Someone asked about the price of Twilight books. So far, the cheapest collection I managed to find was from WH Smith at £38.40 (was £60). The books are hard cover, thus pricier. (my fellow bloggers/regulars, appreciate your comments here. Feel free to share if you have seen better price).

However, the ones that I got were paperback. The price was £6.99 for two books. I have yet to see paperback version for Breaking dawn. If the remaining two books are bought from the same place, it’d be £12.99 (buy one get one free. The hard cover format is £12.99, paperback £6.99). I think online will be cheaper as seen from here . The total amount will be under £10 for two books, instead of £12.99.

Ok... so the conclusion is, if you buy separately (not the collection as I mentioned in the first para), the total costs for the books if purchase online is £16.98 (excluding delivery charges) and £19.98 if you get them from the store. I am unsure how long does the offer last.

By the way, you might get them cheaper elsewhere e.g. amazon but please take note of the delivery charges. Some may waive if the total costs exceeds certain amount. I hope this helps you, ms anonymous.

Ps: Will reply to comments soon.

Dangerously hot

A few days ago, I came across this article, what's wrong of being selfish?.
There were many things mentioned which I could relate to. Perhaps the article reminded me of the ideas I shared among friends. Most importantly, the highlight of the article was about making choices.

Whether getting married, remain single, having children or not, work or being a SAHM, all of which we are entitled to. Yet why do we keep getting criticised for the choices we make?

Worse of all, the ones who love to criticise are females. Sigh… If you must know, your comments don’t fall under constructive feedback. It just reflects how narrow your world must be.

I have worked with a few (giant) companies and more often than not, I see that the ones who dampen our spirit are ladies. Men don’t care whether you are married or with kids, as long as you deliver, you get the recognition. It is often the female bosses who are harder to please.

Now, back to the choices, why is it difficult for people to understand for being single? There is nothing wrong for setting the bars high or wanting the right man (note right, not perfect. Those only exist in movies or fairy tales). As for enjoying the honeymoon period longer ie postponing pregnancy, it probably helps to bond a couple stronger. You get to do more adventurous or wild things now (hey, there is no limit once you tie the knot). As for the number of kids, why on earth should this matter? Seriously! Some of us enjoy having the quality of life with our loved ones. Perhaps some are wise to know the rising cost of living, in particular, education. Thus, having two kids suffice, unless you are one those who think scholarship continue to exist by the time your kids reach university.

So to those who are having a hard time, don’t let them get their way. It gives them pleasure when they find you irritated by the comments. Be happy with the choices we make.

Life isn't one size fits all -- different things make our lives fulfilling.

On another note, I think werewolf is kinda hot. I wonder when the new movie comes out, I will scream like those teenagers when they make their appearance (as mentioned by IDB). Jake sounds deliciously sexy but based on the picture, somehow I want Paul more. *grins* Hang on, is it legal to fantasise boys?

Picture taken from eonline.

Oppss.. I did it again!

We thought it’d be a quiet weekend. There was no plan in place, except for the movie trip. The cinema has kids special on weekends and during school holidays of which they screen movies aired a month or two before at a low fare. The movie was The Secret of Moonacre and we both quite enjoyed it. Not bad for £2.50 (for both of us).

At around mid day, I received a call from the girlfriend. She was at the shopping mall at West End and asked if we were free to join her. Who couldn’t resist (window) shopping, right? After bribing the young lady that she’d get new books, we made our way to see her.

I couldn’t believe that we spent half a day there! Of course, we had an hour of coffee session but still, half day at the mall? Darn!

Anyway, can you tell me how one can resist when this:

and this:

were on offer at buy one get one free?

Of course I had to get them.

Now, if only I was smart enough to get the other two books to complete the saga, which were on sale as well.

Oh, I am also in love with Massimo Dutti. Their cutting and style suits me a lot!

updated: If only I knew that I should have read New Moon first! Yes, I have finished reading Eclipse last night. *smack her head many times*

Ps: Ms B promised the young lady that she’ll get the pixie collection by Enid Blyton. She hopes the Book People has them and it’ll mean she saves up to 70% of the original price.

Her diamonds...

Oh what the hell she says
I just can't win for losing
And she lays back down
Man there's so many times
I don't know what I’m doin'
Like I don't know now

By the light of the moon
She rubs her eyes
Says it's funny how the night
Can make you blind
I can just imagine
And I don't know what I’m supposed to do
But if she feels bad then I do too
So I let her be

And she says oooh
I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down
Cuz I can't help her now
She’s down in it
She tried her best and now she can't win it's
Hard to see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down

-Her diamonds, Rob Thomas –

LHM asked for my opinion about the song, whether I feel it’s a sad number.

More often than not, I tend to like a song because of its lyrics and not of the tune. Take a song by Mr Mraz for example, I fell for the song and made a post way before it became a hit.

Of course the topic for today isn’t about him, but on Mr Thomas.

The song brought me down to memory lane, to a time when I cried so bad that it was literally sucking my soul out. On one occasion, I broke down to a friend and until this day I still remember his words, “why do you cry for someone who doesn’t deserve your tears?”

Tears are precious or as the song goes, diamonds. They are too valuable to be wasted on insignificant things. It hurts people who care for us to see us in pain, when they know we have much to look forward to. As much as they want to help, sometimes it is best to let us be and feel our pain. Let it pass through.

These days, I still cry but I reckon they are mostly on happier thoughts. Err... do you think it makes sense to cry when a nice pair of shoes is sold at a ridiculously good bargain? *winks*

Have a good weekend friends!

Ps: Ms B is looking forward to Ghost finale. She got hooked on it while on sick leave (she curses her brother for suggesting this series), watched season 1 and 2. First it was Zack Imran, now Romeo.

Of fights and showing up

DEREK: "I was a jerk. Sometimes boyfriends can be jerks, but it doesn't mean you stop talking to them... You get that I'm saying I'm sorry, right?"
MEREDITH: "You yelled at me for no reason, and then you walked away. And now you show up here."
DEREK: "Of course I showed up. Why wouldn't I? You don't trust me?"
MEREDITH: "I do."
DEREK: "Okay, well this is how it works. You fight sometimes and somebody apologizes."
MEREDITH: "Well, how am I supposed to know that?"
DEREK: "You've never done this before."
MEREDITH: "No, I've never done this before."
DEREK: "From now on, you can expect that I'm gonna show up. Even if I yell. Even if you yell. I'm always gonna show up. Okay?"
MEREDITH: "Okay."

We were late. We thought we could reach there in time but my timing was off by 10 minutes. As we reached the platform closer, I asked her to search for him. We both spotted him, dressed casually in his jeans instead of the usual suit. The young lady ran towards him while I tried to keep my pace. He gave her a hug and a quick peck on her cheeks. It was a beautiful sight to see how comfortable she was wrapped around his arms.

Then he looked up and our eyes met. It was the moment that I knew how much I missed him. I knew it was a hassle for him to come here as the travel route was not ideal. Despite it took him more than one stopover and not being able to come here immediately after the conference which left him spending an extra day in the historical city located in central Bohemia, he didn’t seem to be bothered. All I could see was how happy he was to be here.

We were not spared from the usual misunderstandings and again, he reminded me why he was here. At that moment, I felt it was a scene taken from the above and I couldn’t stop smiling. The guy who asked me to stop watching Greys as my emotions correlated to the episodes was mirroring a similar scene.

By now, he has safely arrived at his destination. All I could think of was those silly fights we had and how I wish I can have them over and over again.

Strange enough, it is raining cats and dogs as I am writing this, making it more difficult to not miss him...

All or nothing

“Look, we’re here, aren’t we, so why not just enjoy it, leave all the other stuff at home. There’s something to be said for the occasional treat – we dont have to put up with each other’s nastier habits.”

“You sound like a bloke.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s usually men who compartmentalise their lives. Women are supposed to be all or nothing.”

“One’s compartment’s better than nothing.”

The next best thing – Sarah Long

***********
The moment I read the above, it reminded me of the conversation that I had with a girlfriend of my ability to put things in a chest of drawers. At home, I am a mother to a loving and thoughtful daughter. At work, I am a dedicated and career driven person.

And then, there are some occasions when I feel the need to be a woman; to be swept off my feet by the swirl of romance. Be it coffee at the park and watch the kids playing around, lunch in the hustle and bustle of Covent Garden, candle-light dinner complete with desserts.

So I enjoy the moments and place them in the drawers. Whenever I need to be reminded, I take them out and let myself be carried away. Sweet surrender...

Desperate SAHM series

Day 2:

I decided to play polyvore and managed to find most of my shoes galore or something similar to it.





Half of which I got this year alone. Yikes! Also, how dull can I be? I mean, they are all earth colours. After spending a day with the girlfriend, I must say that the shoes vocab increases each time. Maybe I should add these to my collection:





So do you fancy any of these?

PS: I'm half way thru a book. *smiles*

B & B

loosely translated : Business vs bed.

I was meant to do this:


picture: business travel agency.


Instead, I was told that I should be doing this:

picture: news health.

For A WEEK!!!! Blimey! My 1st MC in a very long time. They dont give out MC in this country if it's just a day or two but the doc was concerned that:
a) I've been sleeping on average of 4-5 hours a day for the last few weeks.
b) I'm meant to travel this week and the week after.

So what now? How am I supposed to fill 10 hours of a day? I still have 2 books which I recently purchased but yet to be read. I will probably end up cooking more than usual and clean the house (translation: old clothes and shoes to be boxed and donated to make room for new ones.*grins*)

Or I can come up with a brilliant posting and make my friends aka you entertained.

Equation

Overworked + increased responsibilities + lack of sleep =

picture: googled

I was planning to do some work today but my body was against with the idea. Hopefully I get to sleep better tonight. Otherwise, perhaps I should stay home tomorrow and recuperate.

Stress reliever

Stress reliever #1:

In Mentalist, expect the unexpected such as this (having said that, you can only appreciate this if you follow or watch some of the episodes):



Agent Cho suddenly became the new hot guy in town. I was so impressed by the whole scene that I felt a sudden rush *rolling eyes*.

Stress reliever #2:

Email exchanged with the girlfriend:
Ms V: Crappy week. Do you want to go shopping this weekend?
Me: Same here. Hope the crappiness wont lead us to shopping like mad women.
Ms V: Good luck to both of us on that. :D

Picture: googled.

On another note, 'TGIF' needs to be redefined, especially when you have a conference call before 8am. So yeah, I am looking forward to do some girly stuff with the young lady and friend. *praying hard she wont shop too much*

Have a good weekend friends!

The screams within...

It was one of those days. I wished I could stop those screams within my head. I wished I could just drop everything and be by her side.

The experience is good. The pay is great. Hell, our secretaries carry those monograms and one whom I'm close to drives a cooper.

But the stress can be overwhelming...

2 more weeks for the arrival of a friend.

4 more weeks for the scheduled break (with no plans yet).

3 more months before I can leave this role.

For now, I'm just taking one step each day, with her love and patience to guide me through....

Picture: googled.

Devil's advocate

DA for short.

Whenever I face a shopping dilemma, I call my trusted DA for advice. This DA of mine resides back home. A mother of three, I trust her advice when it comes to shopping. She doesnt look her age and being a SAHM does not stop her for being chic and groovy. From scarf to shoes, everything goes together.

Anyway, yesterday while we were at the mall in West End, I caught a small sale sign in my favourite shop. We women have sharp eyes when it comes to the S word no matter how small the sign may be. The young lady made her way to the sofa knowing mummy dearest would take her sweet time browsing through.

The items on sale were not exactly my favourite. There was only one that came close, a metallic blue handbag. However, my eyes caught an autumn 2009/10 collection which obviously was not on sale. The lady who served me knew it fell my preference based on my previous grabs, hence took it down for me to have a closer look.

Darn! It was really lovely.

So there I was, stuck in the shop, not knowing what to do; the bag on sale or the one I liked. I ended up calling my DA. Obviously she felt I loved the other bag more and if I could sleep at night without the discounted bag, then there was no need to buy anything. She did try to talk me into buying the non-sale bag but thank god I managed not to listen to her. I think I can wait for a few months more for that bag to be on sale.

The dilemma did not stop there. While we walked further, I spotted a handbag in another shop. This time, the item was light red, soft leather and fine workmanship.

I needed to clear my head before deciding on anything. As the young lady was patient throughout (knowing other kids would throw tantrum or die of boredom), we went looking for her stuff instead. One item led to another and before we knew it, we bought many things for her. Suffice to say that the young lady was one happy girl.

As we made our way home, she suddenly said, “I feel guilty that you didn’t get anything mummy.”

Now that was worth more than the handbags combined. *smiles* Perhaps next time the DA will have better luck.

Also, Happy father's day to all those daddies, uncles, grandfathers etc out there!

Hello?

There was a time when the phone was constantly ringing. You kept saying that you'd pick it up, thinking that the person wouldnt mind. After all, if you knew each other well enough, both of you should be able to understand how demanding life can be. A missed call or two would not be an issue. You kept reminding yourself to catch up when you had more time.

Days became weeks. Weeks became months. Eventually, the phone stopped ringing.

It wouldn’t be a surprise if you only realised it six months down the line.

Little did you know that the person had stopped calling knowing it’d never be answered. It seemed pointless to be dialling the number. The person had stopped having expectations, thinking that perhaps the focus should be on people who seemed to appreciate them more. They would probably have hectic lifestyle as well yet they still made time. Even when they were miles away or juggling with kids, they could still drop a line.

When you suddenly noticed the absence of the tone, you began to think that something must be wrong. Your mind started to wonder of what could be the cause. You chose to ignore that things were doing pretty well for that person based simply on your new revelation.

I dont see anything wrong in the picture. Both of them prioritised their life. One chose the busy-bee diary whilst the other wanted to appreciate life with people who were willing to spare time for them. It should never be an issue as long as both of them learnt to accept the change.

However, it seems it always does, especially for those who are used to the phone calls. Maybe the silence has become overbearing.

Run mummy run

When she woke up this morning, the first thing she said was “I get to see you for the whole day. So I wont miss you today.”

I took the day off as it was her sport’s day, an annual event which I try my best to attend every year. The only thing I didn’t expect was to be participating in an event and oh boy, it really made me realised how unfit I was. I wasn’t planning to but how could I turn down her request, pleading me to join the race? It was a running event and I did ok, considering I never go to the gym (hell, I dont even know how one looks like!). It came to no surprise of who would end up winning the race. The lady was physically fit, with nice muscles on her arms and thighs. Come to think of it, she was geared up for a match or game.

It was a good day and everyone had a blast. We were blessed with nice weather throughout (and I think I’m one tone darker).

And I suppose in her eyes I once again was bestowed with the super cool mom crown.

The look for today

It has been a hectic week, with a few late nights and two days of travel chaos. To top it off, some idiots decided to have a party last night which went way past midnight and it was stopped because someone came to their door (and I presumed it was the police). I only managed to fall asleep at 3am!

All I want for the weekend is to have coffee with the young lady at our favourite hangout. So before we head off, we thought we could give this a try:






The young lady designed this:





ps: I think her taste is kinda cool. *smiles*

What's your style?

Inspired by NJ, I decided to give this a go:

Your Blogging Type is Logical and Principled

You like to voice your well thought out opinions on your blog. And if someone doesn't like what you write, you really don't care! Serious and blunt, sometimes people take your blog the wrong way. But you're a true and loyal friend to those who truly get you.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Kinda true, dont you think? So what's your style?

Of a wooden box

Imagine you are walking in a park when suddenly you stumble upon a wooden box. It looks like just another ordinary storage with a latch attached but no sign of a lock. It seems it has been there for a while, with no visible marks of being touched or handled. The plants have grown fond of the box, making it a friend of theirs. They keep it warm with their cuddles and when the sun shines, they act as the shade. It seems the box is well looked after.

Yet somehow you are so intrigued by the whole picture. Perhaps the absence of the lock leads you to think that this was once a treasured box. Your mind starts lurking on what lies inside. There could be valuable stuff but after a period of abandonment, it couldn’t be possible. Yet you still cant resist the temptation. The desire to look what’s inside or just to touch the box escalates.

All we could think of that there must be something wrong with it for being left there.

Why cant we see that the box merely wants to be left alone? Perhaps it has found a home, where it can just enjoy the rain and sunshine. It gets to watch people walk by, instead of being used as storage. Perhaps it is now free from keeping all those memorable events, be it good or bad. It is free from the emotional dramas.

Why do we love to probe into things that probably aren’t there to begin with?

Sometimes the absence of “excitement” may not necessarily mean that the person’s life has gone haywire. Maybe the roller coaster has been replaced by other things which serve better purpose or occupy more space.

Or perhaps that person is simply living life to the fullest, contrary to what people think.

The perfect boyfriend

When I checked my email this morning, I was very surprised to see one of the subject headings. The title was "buy a perfect boyfriend this summer". Thinking that I might have landed a gold mine, I quickly opened the email and saw this:

Ok... So I guess the jeans makes a better a boyfriend eh? Warm, cosy and not forgetting flexible. *grins*

Have a good weekend friends!

Hidden talent

When they say you’re working in a fast paced environment, it usually means that things turn around pretty quick. We are committed to deliver regardless of the deadline. Long hours and adhoc travels are the norm.

They should have added that one is required to be physically fit to run from one place to another in heels.

I must have appeared a lunatic, running from one building to another armed with my mobile, trying to resolve the logistic issue for certain things.

Oh well, if I managed to dance in my stilettos during my yesteryears, running in one was a piece of cake. Unfortunately, one needs to consider the age factor and let’s just say that the hot bath I had last night was a remedy.

On another note, a customer service representative called me during the office hours and our conversation went like this:

CS guy: Hello Ms B. I am CS guy calling from XYZ, your utility provider. I would like to tell about our current offers.
Me: Can you please call me at another time? I am in the middle of submitting a report.
CS guy: Oh. That will be inconvenient.

WTH!!!! Aren’t you supposed to be looking after your customer’s needs? If you are trying to promote your stuff and hence, want my money, surely you need to adjust your time at my convenience.

To add sugar to my already overdosed coffee, I went to bed early last night due to the throbbing headache when a neighbour decided that he could be the next Britain's Got Talent. It was indeed challenging to fall asleep.

I hope I remember to get the ear plugs on my way home tonight, just in case the guy decides to practice his singing.

A bucket of cold water

At times I can be a surprise to myself. I am not the type who ticks others off but when one is left with no choice but to fend herself, I just had to do it. Not willing to be tackled down by those office jesters, especially since I am paying their salaries i.e. I am the fee earner and they are the cost centre, I ticked them off.

There aren’t many women, or to be précised, mothers, in my line of work. Many choose to leave after a child or two and with the recession, it makes senses for one to take the break and spend their time with the kids (a nanny costs a hole in the purse).

Thus, I remain undeterred by the new office politics and I am sure many are not happy with the situation. Yet, we remain hopeful that things will turn around and our knights aka the old bosses will make a comeback and save us all (sounds like the scenes in LOTR).

Oh well, at least there have been a few good happenings. Barcelona won and my Spanish friends and probably the rest of non-MU fans were delighted by the results. *grins* The books have arrived and the young lady was very pleased. A director who is also a friend saw them and said that my home must be full of books, and probably bags too.

Indeed she saw the new arm candy. I have been eyeing if for quite a while but never bothered to get as I already have a rare one which I mentioned in the Magic Word post. Yet, how could one resist when it was the runway collection, on seriously damn good sale and the only one left? It was probably equivalent to some people 'langkah kanan' moments. I couldn’t believe my eyes as I walked into the store.

I know, lame excuse. Can someone please splash a bucket of iced cold water on me?

*Ms B had overdosed herself with day and night at the museum. She hopes Mini B would not come up with an idea to visit the biggest place of history collection, no matter how tempting it may sound.*

Manscaping -defined

“They don’t mean gardening,” she said. “They mean, um, ‘gardening’.”
“Say again?”

“Tending to the garden, Chris.”

“Like, flowers and stuff?”

“No. ‘Down there’.”

“Women notice these things. It makes it a whole lot easier to like a man if he likes himself. You won’t believe what people get waxed. Men have this thing, it’s called ‘visual enhancement’. When you trim, it looks bigger.” He raised his eyebrows. “Sure, you can buy a trimmer. But you can’t always reach, can you?”
Bloody hell, I wondered, what had I done? Suffer? I literally bled. From every follicle. I drew a line, however, at anything below the belt. No crack, thank you. And absolutely no sack.

As it is, I think I’ll save any future waxings for my car, and leave the sessions at the torture chamber to those who qualify as the tougher sex these days — the girls.

*************************

You can continue reading here. Hope you enjoy the article as much as I did. *LOL* I wonder how many of you (men) out there who are up to the challenge. *grins*

The award

n.i. was kind enough to give me this award:


Thank you! The award comes with a set of rules:

State 5 interesting facts about the person who gave you this award:
1. She takes great length to make sure her loved ones get healthy meals i.e. she makes her own nuggets (I just have to mention this dear).
2. She's a shopaholic (aren’t we all honey?).
3. Apparently she's also creative, judging from her effort to make the bag for her friend.
4. Her ability to express her emotions without holding anything back amazes me, as I for one lack of it.
5. She's been a regular for quite some time now but I only found out that she was related to a favorite blogger of mine way much later. Indeed I can be that clueless.

Each blogger must mention 10 facts about themselves or their hobbies before choosing the next recipients:
1. I drink mocha every morning, to the extent that the barista at the cafe near work confirms my order even before I utter a word.
2. I love reading but barely have time for it.
3. My favorite meal is nasi lemak kerang.
4. In the old days, I used to have 3-4 meals of rice daily i.e. breakfast, lunch, dinner and occasional tea time if I had to work late.
5. My lunch now consists of soup, salad or jacket potato. *dismal*
6. After my third attempt of the brain game, I was told that my brain was equivalent to a calculator. *rolling eyes*
7. Recently I purchased 4 collections or 25 books in total for the young lady. She’s pretty excited and I hope they arrive before the term breaks.
8. Cooking is therapeutic for me.
9. During summer, we spend our days at the park, equipping ourselves with enough snacks, a book each and her favourite toys.
10. I just realized that I have purchased 6 pairs of shoes since the beginning of the year, probably twice as many as I did last year. *smacking her head*

You have to choose 10 recipients of this award and describe them:
1. D – I think she can be the next Jamie Oliver or Mr Ramsay.
2. Momster – she always makes me touched whenever she speaks of her little one.
3. CG - Whatever she writes, from music to food, it turns out brilliant.
4. Darlene- She has wicked sense of humour.
5. Naz - This lady who resides in Norway always cracks me with her postings, especially on those old malay movies.
6. Jumper - He loves to run. Oh, he also writes really well and shares his life lessons which are worth pondering.
7. Danial - Obviously this guy loves to travel and snaps pictures everywhere.
8. The Biker - I think he loves bikes more than women, or maybe equally.
9. NJ - She's a jet-setting corporate lady but somehow I feel she's better off spending her days at the beach and writing a book, than attending those board meetings. If you are reading this, when are you going to update?
10. Kak Teh - I just love her writing. Hooked.

Alas, not forgetting to the one who gave me this award, n.i. Hmm, was I supposed to answer this in Malay? *curious look*

The other (or dark) side of networking

While checking my inbox this morning, I was surprised by the influx from an unknown sender. It seems that I am a part of a group (corporate related) back home. Today was the first time that I heard of such society, so you could imagine my surprise upon knowing that I am part of it. There is nothing bad about it. In fact, from what I gathered, it is beneficial for those who are interested.

Put it this way, even if I knew about it, my friends know me too well that there is no way that I would sign myself to join them. There are things in life that, no matter tempting or good it may sound, I am just not into it.

As I scrolled down the emails, I finally saw a familiar name in one of them. I have this feeling that this person added my name to the list. I am sure he meant well as he has been trying to get me to share my experience and knowledge for as long as I can remember. However, as I mentioned before, I have certain rules when it comes to email. In fact, since one email address of mine has been used for forwarded emails or discussions among certain people which have nothing to do with me, I had to create another personal email which only a handful of friends know its existence. Thus, when I realised my office email was used for something similar, I got a bit annoyed. *sigh*

I do see the benefits of networking. In fact, I apply this approach all the time. Yet, when people misuse or unable to draw the line, it creates inconvenience to others, or at some occasions, to us.

Take FB for example. I know some colleagues are into it but as far as I know, they are online whenever they are free which by the way is not frequent enough. They are not the type who updates their status every hour. Even my PA who probably has the most time online couldn’t be bothered to do so.

A friend once complained that she has too many FB “friends” and it is pretty difficult for her to decline as she is considered a celebrity in her country, which I only found out how big she was when I chatted with a girl from the same place. Another friend created a bogus FB profile because of similar reason and makes sure his current circle consists of people he considers genuine.

Most importantly, it can be quite scary when we spend more time online than the physical act of meeting people itself, as highlighted in this article:

“People can use the sites to make new acquaintances outside their departments and groups, and users can extend their networks beyond the traditional workplace. But people can use the sites too much and as a consequence give less time to meeting with co-workers in person.

You need to be careful to make sure that social networking sites aren't encroaching on your office time. More than an hour a day is excessive. Worse, spending too much time on the sites can disrupt your balance between work and private time. It can also take you out of your family time.”

I like to keep myself updated through the old-fashioned way; phone calls, lengthy emails or coffee time, either with friends or my so-called corporate networks. In some ways, I am still old school. As the article concluded, "If they aren't people you would talk to in "real life," you probably are wasting time."

You can continue reading here.

*Ms B had an awesome time spending the day with a friend over the weekend at their favourite hangout, tho she is unsure if her purse agrees. In her defense, she feels the bargain was worth it.*

Candy boy

Zack: I haven't actually literally done it before you know?
Sweets: Had sex?
Zack: Ended someone's life ... why doesn't anyone ever believe I've had sex?

The other day I was talking to a friend and how my presumptions on the subject matter did not make sense to him. It appeared that my theory led to the candy boy situation i.e. the lady's beau is much younger. I told him that it is fairly common these days to have a candy boy in our arms, which I think goes well with the candy bag. John finally bought the idea and agreed that the likelihood of his friend to be in a company of a young man was high.

Then, he popped out a statement, "I am surprised that no one (re younger man) has asked you out. Some find it very appealing to go out with matured ladies."

Dude, just because I don’t say much about my social life, it does not mean that I'm lacking of it. Well perhaps I am, especially for the past few weeks with a deadline to meet and when it was finally delivered, the only thing I want to do with my spare time is to cook for the young lady or to lounge myself on the sofa playing the brain game with her.

More often than not, I find people who talk much about it tend to have less, especially men. Some simply love to boast of their conquest, which I find it hard to digest. It has nothing to do with their physical appearance, but rather on their personality and relationship status. I’m sure you get the picture. I suppose it comes with this mid-life crisis theory, that there is a need for a person to prove how worthy one is in their desired area. It seems they feel the need to test the market and whether they still have the mojo to attract members of the opposite sex.

Anyway, don’t they ever heard the saying 'good girls are better liars'? *grins* Please don’t underestimate the geeks and the nerds. I'm sure you've watched American Pie. *winks*

On another note, I’d like to wish someone happy birthday. As much as I would like to send Alex Karev to your doorstep, I think we could settle with a picture of a candy boy, Lucas:


Picture from cwtv.com

Have a good weekend friends!

*Ms B is counting the days to see Mr Hanks with her not-so-imaginary candy boy. She thinks Mr Hanks will give the excitement she needs, tho perhaps the candy boy might have a trick or two under his sleeves.*

Life's a climb

but the view up there is great.

Each day I feel I learn more from her, instead of the other way around. From the things she wants to do to her curiosity, I learn to see, hear and think from her perspective.

Sometimes I feel she gives better advice than some people I know, even on things that should be the least of her expertise. It even surprises me when she comes out with a brilliant remark while watching a favourite show of mine e.g. "he should make up his mind. He likes two girls!”

At times I can be hard on her. Often after those moments, she'd say, "I know why mummy. You just want me to be a better person."

These days, our bedtime chat no longer consists of only fairy tales or how her day at school went. We talk about my past, with snippets from my childhood experience, the dreams and fears that went along with it.

There was a moment that we shared over the weekend which triggered some past events. I was reminded the challenges I faced and each time, she was there in the picture. Her presence alone was enough to tell that I should keep on climbing and to overcome the hurdles in life.

As we walked to school this morning, once again she shared her wisdom. "I must believe I can do this. If I don’t, I won’t do well." She was referring to a certain event at school.

I end this post by dedicating the song to the lovely people out there. You know who you are. *winks* (please mute the mixpod before playing the clip)



I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Somebody you're going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

Home is where.....

the heart is, or is that so?

Some people feel that a place defines us, or more importantly, our happiness. Perhaps the vibes and the atmosphere of a location shape our personality and to a certain extent, affect our emotions.
Yet I wonder, does it really matter where we live as long as we have our loved ones by our side? Surely it does not, unless of course we are referring to places which are out of the equation for good reasons. If that’s the case, then it makes sense that we just go there on our own and leave our loved ones behind.

Before I came here, I never knew whether I could make it. Despite I had visited this country before and everyone kept saying how great the city was, it didn’t stop me from worrying as I knew the situation, or more precisely, the challenges I would be facing.

Yet somehow, I knew things will be alright as I had her.

As I told someone today, home is where the heart is. It doesn’t matter where our journey takes me and her as long as we have each other, although I think it will certainly add topping to the ice cream if the place has anything related to Hannah Montanna. No, I have to rephrase. Hannah Montanna items are definitely part of the requirements.

I believe if we have our loved ones by our side, things will work out better than we’d imagine. I have seen many friends triumphed their way through when they lived in a foreign place, even if it wasn’t accommodating to their needs.

If somehow it is better and practical to live apart (as I know some of my MDs have to leave their family behind as the kids are facing their exams), I’m sure we look forward to the trip to spend time with them. The long haul journey feels smooth, the wooden house with only a bathroom to be shared by all looks fun, the cold freezing weather (or the opposite!) is welcomed with open arms, etc.

It is when we contemplate to the journey to meet our “loved ones” that we should ask ourselves, where does our heart belong..

Moving on

As much as I missed writing, I just didn’t have the mood to do so. My mind has been wandering afar and it didn’t help much when I had additional travel time over the past few weeks, leaving me lost further in my own thoughts. The scenery usually leads me to day dream, a habit which I find it hard to shake off even at this age. I suppose it doesn’t help when your child shares similar interest. Well, she’s a kid. Thus she’s expected to day dream as often as she wants. I wonder my excuse for doing so.

I wish it could settle down, but I guess it requires some peace and quiet, which I’m lacking of these days.

Among the many thoughts that have been playing in my head is moving on. Perhaps the uniqueness of our circumstance leads to an easier way to cope with any change to our life. I suppose the nature of our situation makes us to not be emotionally attached to anyone. I mean, we do but when there is a tendency for people to come and go, especially when you are surrounded by people in the same boat i.e. a traveller themselves, we tend to move on quicker than others. We make new friends or form new alliances (applicable at work in my case). After a while we realise life works just fine without those people who used to be in the picture.

Not long after we realise we no longer miss those people. They would probably be in our thoughts but that’s as far as it goes. Chances are there will be more gaps in the relationship, especially when things have changed a lot in our life.

Unless of course they happen to be people close to your heart. I’m sure if the lil one decides to further her studies away from mummy, we would probably invest much of our time in maintaining the bond.

At least that’s what I’m wishing and hoping for (and of course, day dreaming of).

Food for the soul

Of late, my buttons have been pushed too many times. I am beginning to feel the strain, to the extent that I feel I should get away for another break. My soul needs to be fed. Yet it has been barely a week that it had its meal; a trip to the Louvre Museum.

The lil one is an avid traveller. I remember how patient she was while I was trying to figure out my way around the metro system. Taking the train was an adventure for her. All she wanted was to see the Mona Lisa, thus explained on her patience level.

It feels like it was only yesterday that we took our 2nd trip on our own to the royal city in Southern Europe. The trip which took place three years ago sowed her seeds of interest in arts and history. Our hotel was centrally located, making it convenient to walk to the nearby tourist attractions. When we saw the palace, she requested to see inside. So I paid the entrance fee and off we went, exploring each chambers, looking at the treasures, painting etc. She was excited and eager to know the detail of each, asking me to read the description.

Her passion continued.

I remember one of the moments in the museum. She was sitting on a bench in the middle of the gallery. Her body was facing a painting which was next to the Raft of Medusa. She was reading the guide with a serious look on her face.

I captured the moment, somehow it felt not to be missed. It wasn’t the place that fed my soul, but rather having her by my side to share our interest.

I think I need that again.

*Ms B realised it will be a long weekend next week and contemplated whether they should go to the Vatican city or chill out at home and do DVD reruns. That was before she found out she’ll be on an away (stressful) job, leaving her the option to get another DVD box set and hibernate herself at home. She hopes it won’t evoke unnecessary emotions as she tends to get carried away watching soap dramas.*

Of honesty..

Booth: Look Bones, you can't go around tellin' everybody what's on your mind even though it's the truth, okay? Look, what if you and I were going out, right? And you were, y'know, taking forever to get ready and you came out in this dress and, I told you I didn't like it, what are you gonna do?
Bones: I'd reevaluate, change, or ignore you.
Booth: (sarcastically) Of course you would, Bones. Good answer.

Sometimes I feel I can be harsh. Whenever my opinion is sought, I have no reservation to give my piece of my mind, especially to those who deserve it. I am always neutral or civilized to most people but to a handful, I will try my best to be honest.

If I don’t care about you enough, I wouldn’t be bothered to give a fair view.

I expect the same from my friends and most of the time they do, even when their opinion could probably break me into pieces. You should know that I am only made of skins and bones, hence the delicate nature of my physical attributes. If I can be blown away by strong wind, what about hard core truth? (Ok, I may be exaggerating but you get the picture).

Sometimes my view can be unexpected and not consistent as the majority would say. I can only relate to my own personal experience and those shared by others. I give two sides of the coin and let you consider.

At the end of the day, only we can define our own happiness. Yet, we should know our course of action would affect our loved ones, directly or indirectly. If their opinion and feelings matter, more or less it defines our happiness as well.

Some say honesty may not be the best policy but for some us, it is better to get one than still be blinded by our own illusion.

Do re mi

Dont you wish you were there?