Thursday, January 29, 2009

Scary is sexy

On my way back to London, I had a post composed in my thoughts. Once reached, I decided to have a cup of tea at a nearby cafe. As I sipped my drink, a guy stood in front of me. I just looked straight at him, thinking where we have met before. It took me awhile to figure out that he was one of the boys. He said hello and mentioned my name.

Darn! I didn’t even know his. But at least I remember where we met. *LOL* Once again, the girlish feeling crept into me and I felt so wobbly that I couldn’t manage to stay long at the cafe.

So my nicely composed post seemed to have lost when the moment struck. The good thing was it took my throbbing headache away as well, at least for awhile.

On another note, I realise my taste has gone weirder and weirder. I find the new character, Castiel, simply irresistible. I doubt we’ll see him in any sexy mode. It is ok I guess since Dean will share his steamy moments with us in the new season, as if he hadn’t already done so in the past. *grins*

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Got It, Don't Flaunt It

“Think about it this way: If a person buys a monogrammed Gucci handbag, or diamond earrings shaped like Chanel's double Cs, everyone knows where she made the purchase. If, instead, she chooses one of Bottega Veneta's braided satchels, or a handbag from Proenza Schouler's new line--which has no visual branding--she doesn't look like she's showing off.”

I'm always amazed by the need of some people to have designer stuff. Yes, need. For some, it is a must to be in possession of certain brands, even when the design is not great or the use is impractical.

I realise that there are only a handful of women working in the same building as me carry LV or Gucci handbags. In fact, on my floor, there could probably be one or two ladies. None of my MDs carry them. Not that they can’t afford one. On average, most of them have at least two to three homes around UK and a holiday home either near the beach or ski spots in Europe.

Yet, I must admit they have fine taste when it comes to handbag. Their collections are stylish and classy, with no obvious brand. For all I know, it could be the Birkin.

Apparently the sales of glaring designs have fallen in Europe and US. Some are cutting down their work force and closing down their factories due to lack of demand. During tough times, the last thing you want is to attract unnecessary attention. Probably it makes little difference in this country as jobless are entitled to dole. However, I doubt it is the same back home. A friend who called me today said that she has become more vigilant each time she goes out and about. She even changed her handbag to a less known brand to minimise risk.

Despite the recession, some people remain unchanged and continue to buy. Perhaps it is good that they are playing their role to the economy by spending but seriously, how many designer handbags does a person need in a year? Like an article I read in Forbes today, instead of buying 10 obvious brand handbags, why not getting one limited edition bag equivalent to the price of 10. Usually the value of these bags increases over time.

Or why not just follow Warren Buffet’s philosophy? He still lives in the old house which he purchased 50 years ago when his net worth stands at USD62 billion as reported in 2008.

Oh well, if you have the means to buy, then why not? Only that, I find it very amusing when these people make a huge noise upon knowing the meal costs at decent Malaysian cafes in London or insist that their kids should get scholarship or loan to pursue their studies. If you can buy handbags worth hundreds or thousands of sterling, surely you can afford those mentioned.

Unless of course, they were charged to cards or worse, fake goods.

You can read the full article

*Ms B would like to wish everyone Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Holidays!*

Monday, January 19, 2009

The age dilemma

During a meeting with an MD, he said, “thank you for helping us today. I understand your schedule is pretty tight.” I wasn’t sure what he meant but I told him I have already completed one deal last week. When I checked my schedule later, I found out I’m on 3 deals, 2 will take place this week and I’m swamped til mid March!

Oh well, at least the big kahunas acknowledge my hectic schedule, not that I play a big role to the department. In a way, I feel relieved that they know and appreciate that I’m busy. It does boost your morale, especially since a restructuring took place recently.

After months of ‘hibernation’, clocking 55 hours per week (60 if you include lunch time) over the past two weeks took a toll on me physically. Somehow the hours felt longer today and I was just feeling so fatigue that I told myself to leave work by 7pm. My body needs to adjust and I’m sure it gets there eventually.

Now you understand why I feel old. *sigh*

On a cheerful note, last weekend I managed to have a girls’ day out with mini B and friends. While trying to find a place at a cafe, a guy offered us to sit at his table, enough to accommodate our group and his. Probably he took pity seeing the lil one.

He asked, “is she your daughter?” I answered yes. He then said, “Ah, was about to ask you out.” My girlfriends had a wide grin on their face and quickly said, “but she is still single”.

“I suppose I can still ask you out then”, he responded with a smile.

I was triggered to share this incident as one of my favourite bloggers wrote a piece about dating younger men. This guy is tall (close to 6 feet), dark (a malay!) and deliciously handsome. Oh, he happens to be a player. Not that kind of player but like those professional sportsmen. So you can imagine his physical attributes. *winks*

As for the age gap, it is close to a decade! *gasp* Almost as long as my career. Very ikan bilis.

Two different snippets; one makes me feel old, one makes me feel younger (but 10 years age gap! You got to be kidding). *smack her head*

*Ms B is in dire need of a back massage. Perhaps it'd be a good idea to go out with The Player. She reckons that his hands must be firm.*

Friday, January 16, 2009

What keeps you awake?

“Sleep. It's the easiest thing to do. You just... close your eyes. But for so many of us, sleep seems out of our grasp. We want it, but, we don't know how to get it. But once we face our demons, face our fears, and turn to each other for help, night time is not so scary, because we realize, we are not all alone in the dark.”

Once I was asked, “what keeps you awake at night?” The question was posed as that person thought my life was stress-free.

I suppose I don’t strike as a person who worries a lot just by the way I live my life. Perhaps the combination of my upbringing and past experiences led me not to reveal my emotions too much. Surely a rational person has something to chew but it is how we want to handle it makes us different from one another.

I could list down many things that keep me awake; my role as a mother, a daughter, the eldest sibling, a woman or a friend. Of course on top of the list is my responsibility as a mother. I learn to prioritise the rest or at least, make them understand why I can’t possibly meet their expectations (and sometimes, my own).

There were moments that I felt I was a disappointment to myself. Probably it was because I pushed myself too hard. I was (and still am) a perfectionist, trying to be a constant juggler. As a friend mentioned recently, our line of work is very demanding and she takes her hat off for my willingness to join the wagon. I reckon I was plain stupid or lost my mind when I decided to take this path.

She was right by saying that I have strong support that makes this journey easier. I still have a long way to go by my own standard. Of late, I realise I am making progress such as speaking more during client’s meetings or conference calls, making myself known to jet-setting seniors MDs, learning to delegate my work to others etc.

So when my family and friends suggest that I should consider prolonging my stay, my initial response was “will I still be able to manage?” I understand their advice is for my own benefit. The experience I gain here is far valuable than what I could probably achieve back home. In addition to that, I get to cherish the wonderful moments with the lil one. As someone mentioned, the under-the-duvet moment with them is something that would be missed as they grow older.

We shouldn’t let fear stop us from pursuing our dreams. If we stumble during the process, we should not feel guilty for asking for help. Even if that fails, we should gather our inner strengths and trust our capabilities.

After all, if we don’t believe in our own dreams, how can we make others have faith in them?

Monday, January 12, 2009

Barely breathing

Picture taken from

While I was having lunch at my desk, I felt someone touched my back. As I glanced, he came next to me and went down on his knees. Barely inches away, he whispered, saying he realised that my birthday fell over the weekend and wished.

All I could think of was pulling his head closer and placing a kiss. He is (un)fortunately damn good looking, with a nice set of lips and beautiful blue eyes. Of course I was more focused on his lips. They were soft pink, smooth and sweet. *drooling*

It took me by surprise that he knew my birthday as well as the breathtaking gesture. I was so smitten by the whole thing that it didn't matter to me that I'd have another late one this week. Tell me, who needs a boyfriend when fine-looking friends/colleagues keep doing things that a lover usually fails.

Shake it off woman! Just shake it off. He is just another regular colleague (who happens to be hot, inside out!).

But you bet it was a sweet touch to mark my birthday. *on cloud nine*

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Of turning 35

Oh well, I lied. I still have a few years to reach there. I am still in my early 30s, blessed with the looks of a late 20s but sure as hell feel like 35, or probably more. Not that I want to turn back time. As much as I feel age is catching up on me, I doubt I’ll trade this journey.

I didn’t do much on my birthday. The night before, I took my girl out for a nice dinner. At midnight, I received a long distance phone call from a dear friend, probably a first in a very long time. In the morning, mini B greeted me with a card on her hand. Oh, I received another card as well. Thank you dear! I wouldn’t have minded the breadcrumbs, you know. *winks*

Then sms started to flow. It came from the usual people; family and a few friends. Mom wished that I’d get frequent promotions. I reckon she wants more Ashley’s stuff. *grins* A friend was being witty when I told him I felt old. His response was “women only reach their prime age in their late 30s.” Does this mean that I have at least five years to go to be considered exquisite? I thought I was already one, judging by the drama I had so far. *LOL*

Truthfully, I had a lovely time on my birthday. I was greeted by my loved ones, near and far. The phone call and cards made the day special. To add colours to my day, a friend felt I had a flare for language just by judging on the way I write. If only she knew that I was inspired by her to have better grasp in language. I remember back then how I wished my English was as good as her. In a way, I should thank her for leading me here.

So what did I wish for? I am not entirely sure. I mean, what would you ask when you have almost everything that you want?

Perhaps I should follow the rest and just make one. We never know when the fairies will grant our wish, eh?

So I wished for love. But this time, a little less drama will be much appreciated.

*Ms B needs to complete reading the Pixie Hollow’s collection soon if she doesn’t want to get into trouble with Mini B. Mini B keeps asking her questions about the fairies which she has no clue of, except for TinkerBell of course.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Light a candle

Picture from

"Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."

My birthday is just around the corner. As much as I love to get presents from you, especially those home made cakes, cookies or muffins, I’d rather have my gifts delivered here. So if you have any spare cash hidden under the mattress (does anyone do that these days?), please donate some to those in need. But if you still have money to spend or time to bake, I still look forward to those cakes and cookies. *winks* *hint hint*.

MERCY Malaysia has initiated an emergency response assessment team on the 30th December 2008 to Egypt in response to the humanitarian crisis resulting from the Israeli attacks on the Gaza Strip, which has killed more than 300 people and wounded more than 1,500 people.

The team, aimed at conducting a rapid assessment of the humanitarian needs, will be led by MERCY Malaysia President Datuk Dr. Jemilah Mahmood and EXCO Member Norazam Ab Samah.

We appeal to concerned Malaysians to send in cash donations.

MERCY Malaysia's basis of assistance to the beneficiaries relies on the support and generosity of individuals such as you to contribute to the PALESTINE RELIEF FUND.

It will support our efforts to procure emergency surgical kits, additional medicine and hospital equipment which will be channeled to the affected communities in Gaza.


Cheque payable to MERCY MALAYSIA
CIMB Account No : 1424-000-6561053

For more information, please visit here.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Tragic romance

Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do? Give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are... and that pain you feel, it's life. The confusion and fear, that's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better... and that something is worth fighting for.

It was snowing while I was on my way to work. After almost two weeks of break, it was nice to start my first day back by those soft white flakes. Geared in my new leather knee high boots with the horseshoe charm attached to its zipper, I was ready to begin the week with a positive mind.

I have been meaning to write but each time, something seems to stop me from publishing my post. Sometimes I felt the post was not relevant to the current situation, thus I simply did not hit the publish button.

The snow was much welcomed, at least that was how I felt this morning. The morning walk felt a bliss. Perhaps it is a sign of hope that there will be better days. Not that I have been having rough moments but my days could be better.

A song discovered today prompted me to ask myself, ‘must I always be waiting for love?’ What if love has slipped away from your fingers due to circumstances, will you still be holding on to it? There are times that I feel I am too practical for my own good. I used to put my life on hold for others but now, the only person I am willing to do so is the lil one. So if love slips away, somehow it seems to lead to new opportunities (and these are not restricted to new love. Opportunities are subjective).
I would have to say no to that. Perhaps it hurts the people who used to be a part of my life. But then again, I always felt I was second best by them. Surely they would understand where I was coming from.

Or maybe they don’t, thinking that love should be a tragic romance.