My baby fell asleep while reading. We were both in bed, she with a book, me with this laptop. She's been reading in silence these days, unless she gets stuck with a difficult word. Guess it must have been a tiring day for her that she fell asleep without finishing her book. I couldnt help myself from smiling.
Just like me... She is a true mini ms istanbul. Though I pray that apart from sleeping with a good book, she will have her soulmate by her side when she reaches my age.
Good night my sleeping beauty. Sweet dreams.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Taking steps
"There are about a hundred steps between where we are and our dream house. They’ll be fun steps. They’ll be sexy steps. And we’ll try not to fall down them together. Okay?"
Me and another close friend, Mr Nice had our mini farewell lunch with Ms Argentina. She is going back for good after her 2 year stint with us. I'm sure I'll miss her like crazy. Our coffee rounds, office gossips, understanding our culture etc. Instead of talking about her, we ended up talking about me and my beau. She asked a very intriguing question to Mr Nice, “why is she not taking her relationship seriously?”
Coming from a person who didn’t understand my culture and beliefs at the beginning, Ms Argentina has done well. Love knows no boundaries and both her and Mr Nice truly think that the one is a wonderful person. She finds it odd that I am not 100% into this so-called relationship.
I guess I’m being practical. There are many steps in between where we are and our dreams. So far, we have done well in taking the steps. We try not to make big plans but eventually, a plan has to be made and we both have to decide what we want to do with the plan. Are we in this for the long haul?
So yes, this is why I don’t and I can’t take my relationship seriously. The lil one comes first, next our wellbeing i.e. a good career with lots of perks to pay the bills and the nice stuffs for both of us, finally my love-life.
Oh speaking about career, I got headhunted for one of the elite banks. I’m not too keen with the terms so I’ve asked the headhunter to enquire whether they are looking for a senior role with much better perks. I’m not the type who will leave for a slightly higher pay with 1-2 years bonus. In my world, bonus is discretionary and with the current market, I have seen some who didn’t get any. So yes, much higher pay with a decent bonus will do for me. Uncle D seems to think I did quite well negotiating with the headhunter.
Till then..
Me and another close friend, Mr Nice had our mini farewell lunch with Ms Argentina. She is going back for good after her 2 year stint with us. I'm sure I'll miss her like crazy. Our coffee rounds, office gossips, understanding our culture etc. Instead of talking about her, we ended up talking about me and my beau. She asked a very intriguing question to Mr Nice, “why is she not taking her relationship seriously?”
Coming from a person who didn’t understand my culture and beliefs at the beginning, Ms Argentina has done well. Love knows no boundaries and both her and Mr Nice truly think that the one is a wonderful person. She finds it odd that I am not 100% into this so-called relationship.
I guess I’m being practical. There are many steps in between where we are and our dreams. So far, we have done well in taking the steps. We try not to make big plans but eventually, a plan has to be made and we both have to decide what we want to do with the plan. Are we in this for the long haul?
So yes, this is why I don’t and I can’t take my relationship seriously. The lil one comes first, next our wellbeing i.e. a good career with lots of perks to pay the bills and the nice stuffs for both of us, finally my love-life.
Oh speaking about career, I got headhunted for one of the elite banks. I’m not too keen with the terms so I’ve asked the headhunter to enquire whether they are looking for a senior role with much better perks. I’m not the type who will leave for a slightly higher pay with 1-2 years bonus. In my world, bonus is discretionary and with the current market, I have seen some who didn’t get any. So yes, much higher pay with a decent bonus will do for me. Uncle D seems to think I did quite well negotiating with the headhunter.
Till then..
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Of an age
After much persuasion from Uncle D, I finally let him to get something for me. Uncle D can be considered as my god-uncle. Each time we bump into each other, he always makes time for me and my girl. He remembers the lil girl’s favourite dish and will always call us if Malaysia Hall serves it that day. People refer him as his title but to me, he is my dear uncle D, who never fails to give his words of wisdom. Despite having good friends such as The Steelman (if you read Forbes/business times, you’ll know whom I’m referring to), The Chairman of UK football clubs, etc, he remains humble. I was very happy and felt privileged that today he not only went to buy my birthday gift, he also took the time to drop by at my office to pass it to me. We had coffee and managed to spend an hour catching up.
I wanted to get this particular Gucci watch for the past 1 ½ years but it has never gone on sale! So it took me by surprise when Uncle D got something better than that. A Baume Mercier watch, simple yet classy. Uncle D really has good taste. Typical accountant, I googled it and the price tag almost pop my eye balls! Thank you so much Uncle D. Not only for the gift but also your time for seeing me, a small person and nowhere compare to your rich and famous friends.
My close colleague said that I’m in the wrong profession. With the people I know, I should be doing private banking for UHNW (ultra high net worth) people. The bonus for this profession is definitely more than a year’s salary (some may be looking in the region of millions!). I love my current role and if I ever move, I’ll take Uncle D’s advice to join BBB (bulge bracket banks) and slave myself for a few years. Then, hopefully, I will make my big break.
Also, for the first time, I had many people wishing me. Many sms received, family and old friends. Dragon Lady, Alchemist, CB (thanks for saying that I’m the hottest mama! *winks*) and Ms Magistrate. Mr Milan called all the way from China to wish me. My beloved secretary got a cute cupcake complete with candles, and sang for me (quietly of course. Told her not to tell everyone).
As for the love of my life, my precious angel. She has been singing since last night. She told her class-mates and teachers the day before and everyone wished me. When we got back from school, she passed me the card she wrote earlier. Thank you my love!
It was indeed a wonderful day.
I wanted to get this particular Gucci watch for the past 1 ½ years but it has never gone on sale! So it took me by surprise when Uncle D got something better than that. A Baume Mercier watch, simple yet classy. Uncle D really has good taste. Typical accountant, I googled it and the price tag almost pop my eye balls! Thank you so much Uncle D. Not only for the gift but also your time for seeing me, a small person and nowhere compare to your rich and famous friends.
My close colleague said that I’m in the wrong profession. With the people I know, I should be doing private banking for UHNW (ultra high net worth) people. The bonus for this profession is definitely more than a year’s salary (some may be looking in the region of millions!). I love my current role and if I ever move, I’ll take Uncle D’s advice to join BBB (bulge bracket banks) and slave myself for a few years. Then, hopefully, I will make my big break.
Also, for the first time, I had many people wishing me. Many sms received, family and old friends. Dragon Lady, Alchemist, CB (thanks for saying that I’m the hottest mama! *winks*) and Ms Magistrate. Mr Milan called all the way from China to wish me. My beloved secretary got a cute cupcake complete with candles, and sang for me (quietly of course. Told her not to tell everyone).
As for the love of my life, my precious angel. She has been singing since last night. She told her class-mates and teachers the day before and everyone wished me. When we got back from school, she passed me the card she wrote earlier. Thank you my love!
It was indeed a wonderful day.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Chemical reaction
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
Dragon Lady sent a lovely card and wrote the above quote. Despite feeling low due to a family member being ill, she still spared some time calling me to wish and sent the card prior. Thank you dear for your thoughts. My prayers to you and may you be strong during this time.
I thought I had something to share but somehow, it seems to have disappeared. I guess maybe next time. For now, I want to snuggle with my teddy bear.
Dragon Lady sent a lovely card and wrote the above quote. Despite feeling low due to a family member being ill, she still spared some time calling me to wish and sent the card prior. Thank you dear for your thoughts. My prayers to you and may you be strong during this time.
I thought I had something to share but somehow, it seems to have disappeared. I guess maybe next time. For now, I want to snuggle with my teddy bear.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Farewell 2007
I’ve been occupied these days. Being a SAHM is really hard work. *winks* Anyway, I told myself to make sure that I make one last posting for 2007.
I hope you had a good year. Some of you had a rough time. D with the loss of her husband, Simah with the loss of her baba. One went MIA for a while until we blogged him to reappear (Uncle Lee). Some became more independent (monster mom without a maid. *smiles*) and some had a few butterflies in the stomach moments (sweet Fizzy). One became a successful sales person (Kak Teh promoting her hubby’s book). Last but not least, dear Ruby for maintaining her vogue throughout the year.
As for me, I think (and I hope) I have become calmer and positive about life. There were many fairytales moments that came true. The presence of Mr Milan who is now a dear friend, together with his PA and chauffer; the meeting with Mr Big which brought me back to memory lane. It was a nice moment to be reminded of being a woman, being all girly inside.
Most importantly, I learn that love has no boundary. I have less expectation when it comes to relationship. At the same time, I have to think what’s best for my lil girl. All I can do is pray and hope that things will go well.
I would like to share this lovely message sent by Ms CFO:
Sweet words are easy to say. Sweet things are easy to buy. But sweet people are difficult to find. Life ends when we stop breathing. Hope ends when we stop believing. Friendship ends when you stop sharing. To love without condition... to talk without intention... to give without reason...and to care without expectation.
Happy new year everyone!
I hope you had a good year. Some of you had a rough time. D with the loss of her husband, Simah with the loss of her baba. One went MIA for a while until we blogged him to reappear (Uncle Lee). Some became more independent (monster mom without a maid. *smiles*) and some had a few butterflies in the stomach moments (sweet Fizzy). One became a successful sales person (Kak Teh promoting her hubby’s book). Last but not least, dear Ruby for maintaining her vogue throughout the year.
As for me, I think (and I hope) I have become calmer and positive about life. There were many fairytales moments that came true. The presence of Mr Milan who is now a dear friend, together with his PA and chauffer; the meeting with Mr Big which brought me back to memory lane. It was a nice moment to be reminded of being a woman, being all girly inside.
Most importantly, I learn that love has no boundary. I have less expectation when it comes to relationship. At the same time, I have to think what’s best for my lil girl. All I can do is pray and hope that things will go well.
I would like to share this lovely message sent by Ms CFO:
Sweet words are easy to say. Sweet things are easy to buy. But sweet people are difficult to find. Life ends when we stop breathing. Hope ends when we stop believing. Friendship ends when you stop sharing. To love without condition... to talk without intention... to give without reason...and to care without expectation.
Happy new year everyone!
Friday, December 28, 2007
So close...
You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive
A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close
So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far we are so close
How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far
How does she know you love her?
If you have a daughter, or if you just want to feel like a girl again, I recommend you to watch this movie. Every girl, even when she gets older and wiser, still hopes for her fairy tale and dreams to come true.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Alpha female
This is dedicated to all my hard-working female readers.
Do you sometimes feel that life is unfair? That some people get things easily. You study hard, graduated from world class institution, work yourself to climb the ladder, do it the right way. Yet somehow, you feel you are not "there" yet.
At times, you are surrounded by people who didnt study much nor work hard, engage into immoral activities etc. Classic example, during your student years, you have friends who are proud of being the candy girls to support their lavish lifestyle. They had the house, car (some even had driver!) and pocket money equivalent to graduate's earnings. Now, 10 years down the road, these girls are still having a good life, (materially) while you are still trying to make you first break (ok, so maybe you are earning above average). Still, you are working your ass to get the right recognition and provide a better life for yourself (to some, to your children).
But then again, come to think of it, these people are still either candy girls, long-term mistress or those who are lucky enough, wife. Yet, what is a marriage if, assume you are the only wife, your hubby has sleeping partners but you are staying in the marriage to sustain your lifestyle or, be the hidden second/third wife and never be acknowledged? Do you reckon these people are actually happy?
We all know that this is still a man's world and we try to make a difference. Like in one of the CSI's episodes:
Lady Heather: Well, you should. It's just about knowing yourself, being strong and not taking any crap from powerful jerks who are used to giving it all day long.
Catherine: Well, death is still a man's business and I don't have to tell you about police work.
Lady Heather: So, how do you survive?
Catherine: By knowing myself and working hard...and by not taking any crap
from powerful jerks who are used to giving it all day long.
So there you go ladies, dont take the crap from ANYONE! Believe in yourself and God's will, you will get your break, your own way. When you do, dont forget your loved ones (in my case, it'll be the luxury holiday for my 3 girls; mini ms istanbul and 2 best friends).
ps: This is a reminder to myself. The one has been telling me that I'm doing a great job as a woman and a mom. I just needed a slap (virtually). So yes, I am happy. *smiles*
Do you sometimes feel that life is unfair? That some people get things easily. You study hard, graduated from world class institution, work yourself to climb the ladder, do it the right way. Yet somehow, you feel you are not "there" yet.
At times, you are surrounded by people who didnt study much nor work hard, engage into immoral activities etc. Classic example, during your student years, you have friends who are proud of being the candy girls to support their lavish lifestyle. They had the house, car (some even had driver!) and pocket money equivalent to graduate's earnings. Now, 10 years down the road, these girls are still having a good life, (materially) while you are still trying to make you first break (ok, so maybe you are earning above average). Still, you are working your ass to get the right recognition and provide a better life for yourself (to some, to your children).
But then again, come to think of it, these people are still either candy girls, long-term mistress or those who are lucky enough, wife. Yet, what is a marriage if, assume you are the only wife, your hubby has sleeping partners but you are staying in the marriage to sustain your lifestyle or, be the hidden second/third wife and never be acknowledged? Do you reckon these people are actually happy?
We all know that this is still a man's world and we try to make a difference. Like in one of the CSI's episodes:
Lady Heather: Well, you should. It's just about knowing yourself, being strong and not taking any crap from powerful jerks who are used to giving it all day long.
Catherine: Well, death is still a man's business and I don't have to tell you about police work.
Lady Heather: So, how do you survive?
Catherine: By knowing myself and working hard...and by not taking any crap
from powerful jerks who are used to giving it all day long.
So there you go ladies, dont take the crap from ANYONE! Believe in yourself and God's will, you will get your break, your own way. When you do, dont forget your loved ones (in my case, it'll be the luxury holiday for my 3 girls; mini ms istanbul and 2 best friends).
ps: This is a reminder to myself. The one has been telling me that I'm doing a great job as a woman and a mom. I just needed a slap (virtually). So yes, I am happy. *smiles*
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Tag
I was tagged by Ruby so here's my bit:
1. Name one person who made you laugh last night. Mini Ms Istanbul
2. What were you doing at 0800? Sleeping (it’s Saturday!)
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Talked over the phone with Dragon Lady from the land down under.
4. What happened to you in 2006? Travelled with mini MI to a few places, just the two of us
5. What was the last thing you said out loud? Bye (to Iron Lady).
6. How many beverages did you have today? Teh tarik and water.
7. What color is your hairbrush? Blue
8. What was the last thing you paid for? My dinner last night.
9. Where were you last night? Dinner outside, then home.
10. What color is your front door? Beige
11. Where do you keep your change? Purse.
12. What’s the weather like today? Freezing.
13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? Chocolate fudge.
14. What excites you? Thinking of him *winks*
15. Do you want to cut your hair? YES!!!
16. Are you over the age of 25? Of course.
17. Do you talk a lot? Sometimes but usually I’m a listener.
18. Do you watch the O.C.? Used to.
19. Do you know anyone named Steven? My colleague.
20. Do you make up your own words? YES (when you have kids of your own, you will have to make up words).
21. Are you a jealous person? Depends.
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’. CB (his name starts with A)
23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’. Richard Gere (that’s how I address him with Alchemist and Dragon Lady).
24. Who’s the first person on your received call list? Dragon lady.
25. What does the last text message you received say? Thank you.
26. Do you chew on your straw? Nope
27. Do you have curly hair? Depends on the weather.
28. Where’s the next place you’re going to? Coffee later with mini MI.
29. Who’s the rudest person in your life? Cant remember.
30. What was the last thing you ate? Nasi lemak with rendang (coconut rice).
31. Will you get married in the future? *sceptical*
32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks? The Golden Compass
33. Is there anyone you like right now? Yes.
34. When was the last time you did the dishes? Last night.
35. Are you currently depressed? On the scale to 10, mine is 2.
36. Did you cry today? Nope.
37. Why did you answer and post this? Ruby tagged me.
38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey. Fizzy, monster mom, D, kak teh, uncle lee.
To Dragon lady, sorry I didnt mention you about my blog before. Have fun reading yeah! Miss you like nuts.
1. Name one person who made you laugh last night. Mini Ms Istanbul
2. What were you doing at 0800? Sleeping (it’s Saturday!)
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Talked over the phone with Dragon Lady from the land down under.
4. What happened to you in 2006? Travelled with mini MI to a few places, just the two of us
5. What was the last thing you said out loud? Bye (to Iron Lady).
6. How many beverages did you have today? Teh tarik and water.
7. What color is your hairbrush? Blue
8. What was the last thing you paid for? My dinner last night.
9. Where were you last night? Dinner outside, then home.
10. What color is your front door? Beige
11. Where do you keep your change? Purse.
12. What’s the weather like today? Freezing.
13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? Chocolate fudge.
14. What excites you? Thinking of him *winks*
15. Do you want to cut your hair? YES!!!
16. Are you over the age of 25? Of course.
17. Do you talk a lot? Sometimes but usually I’m a listener.
18. Do you watch the O.C.? Used to.
19. Do you know anyone named Steven? My colleague.
20. Do you make up your own words? YES (when you have kids of your own, you will have to make up words).
21. Are you a jealous person? Depends.
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’. CB (his name starts with A)
23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’. Richard Gere (that’s how I address him with Alchemist and Dragon Lady).
24. Who’s the first person on your received call list? Dragon lady.
25. What does the last text message you received say? Thank you.
26. Do you chew on your straw? Nope
27. Do you have curly hair? Depends on the weather.
28. Where’s the next place you’re going to? Coffee later with mini MI.
29. Who’s the rudest person in your life? Cant remember.
30. What was the last thing you ate? Nasi lemak with rendang (coconut rice).
31. Will you get married in the future? *sceptical*
32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks? The Golden Compass
33. Is there anyone you like right now? Yes.
34. When was the last time you did the dishes? Last night.
35. Are you currently depressed? On the scale to 10, mine is 2.
36. Did you cry today? Nope.
37. Why did you answer and post this? Ruby tagged me.
38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey. Fizzy, monster mom, D, kak teh, uncle lee.
To Dragon lady, sorry I didnt mention you about my blog before. Have fun reading yeah! Miss you like nuts.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Being "rich"
I realise I havent been writing these days. I had limited time to myself. Work has been demanding and my spare time has been allocated to the lil one. Not to mention that my mind has been occupied by provoking questions.
Before I continue with my ramblings, best friend just texted me that she’s a qualified SAP (she is already a qualified accountant!). I’m so happy for her (and I’m sure she’s going to whack me for telling the whole world that she passed her exam). So dear, are you going to get an increment for passing that paper? They should give you a pay rise. If that fails, you can always send your CV around (SAP people get paid a lot from what I hear).
On another note, I’m getting extra attention these days. I got “sorry for making your life miserable these days” gifts from the one; a book which I just finished reading about 10 mins ago and a high tech gadget. Being practical, I returned the latter cos I don’t use it nor will I have the time to do so. He reckons I should change for another gift. I am being spoilt. Not just me, but also the lil one. He has been searching for her “wish list” but there was none in stock! Knowing that he took the time to search for her gift makes me happy.
Back to the happiness topic, we keep on thinking that people who appear better physically, are happy inside. These include having the ideal family, high-flying career, etc. Just because they look better, it doesn’t mean that they are happier.
It’s like this conversation which I had with my girl. One day, we somehow walked past to a familiar area and my girl popped this question, “do you remember when we were poor, mummy?”
I was surprised by her question, as well as her selection of words.
“Yes. Why? Were you sad?”
“Yeah.”
“Why were you sad before?”
“Because we lived in a small place.”
“Well, it was a small place but remember, we always had each other. Some children live in a big house but they don’t get to see their mommy or daddy because they are too busy. So do you want to have a big house and not see me, or do you want to live in a small house and you see me everyday, do things together?”
“I want to see you everyday mummy.”
“So, were you sad when we live in that old house?”
“No mummy.” With a smile on her face.
I hope she understands that being together is more important than being “rich”. Sometimes I ask myself why did I even bother to move to a bigger place as we spend most of our time in my room! She is still my teddy bear and I’m not sure when I will let her sleep in her own room. Before she does so, I better enjoy having my teddy bear in my bed.
Good night dear friends.
Before I continue with my ramblings, best friend just texted me that she’s a qualified SAP (she is already a qualified accountant!). I’m so happy for her (and I’m sure she’s going to whack me for telling the whole world that she passed her exam). So dear, are you going to get an increment for passing that paper? They should give you a pay rise. If that fails, you can always send your CV around (SAP people get paid a lot from what I hear).
On another note, I’m getting extra attention these days. I got “sorry for making your life miserable these days” gifts from the one; a book which I just finished reading about 10 mins ago and a high tech gadget. Being practical, I returned the latter cos I don’t use it nor will I have the time to do so. He reckons I should change for another gift. I am being spoilt. Not just me, but also the lil one. He has been searching for her “wish list” but there was none in stock! Knowing that he took the time to search for her gift makes me happy.
Back to the happiness topic, we keep on thinking that people who appear better physically, are happy inside. These include having the ideal family, high-flying career, etc. Just because they look better, it doesn’t mean that they are happier.
It’s like this conversation which I had with my girl. One day, we somehow walked past to a familiar area and my girl popped this question, “do you remember when we were poor, mummy?”
I was surprised by her question, as well as her selection of words.
“Yes. Why? Were you sad?”
“Yeah.”
“Why were you sad before?”
“Because we lived in a small place.”
“Well, it was a small place but remember, we always had each other. Some children live in a big house but they don’t get to see their mommy or daddy because they are too busy. So do you want to have a big house and not see me, or do you want to live in a small house and you see me everyday, do things together?”
“I want to see you everyday mummy.”
“So, were you sad when we live in that old house?”
“No mummy.” With a smile on her face.
I hope she understands that being together is more important than being “rich”. Sometimes I ask myself why did I even bother to move to a bigger place as we spend most of our time in my room! She is still my teddy bear and I’m not sure when I will let her sleep in her own room. Before she does so, I better enjoy having my teddy bear in my bed.
Good night dear friends.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Happiness
Those looking for happiness often don't realize they already have it. It's a lesson that he says he was lucky to learn at age 18 from a spiritual teacher. "He said, 'Look, actually, Robert, you're already happy.' And I said, 'Well, that's great, but I don't feel it. So tell me, what do I have to do?'" Dr. Holden recalls. "And he said, 'You have to understand that the pursuit of happiness is a mistake. It's like, you don't chase happiness out there. You learn that you're happy inside you and then you go running. Then you go into the world.'"
The key to being happy is overcoming "destination addiction," which he defines as "living in the not-now."
"It's always about tomorrow, so you're chasing 'more,' 'next' and 'there,'" he says. "You promise yourself that when you get there, you'll be happy. And I promise you, you won't, because you'll always set another destination to go for."
Instead, Dr. Holden says if you are unhappy with your life, there are two things you can do. "We have to learn to let go of our past, we have to give up all hopes for a perfect past. Let the past go, it's gone." After that, he says, "Take a vow of kindness. Be kinder to yourself and to others.
"It's never too late to be happy," he says.
http://www.oprah.com/tows/slide/200704/20070411/slide_20070411_350_101.jhtml
The key to being happy is overcoming "destination addiction," which he defines as "living in the not-now."
"It's always about tomorrow, so you're chasing 'more,' 'next' and 'there,'" he says. "You promise yourself that when you get there, you'll be happy. And I promise you, you won't, because you'll always set another destination to go for."
Instead, Dr. Holden says if you are unhappy with your life, there are two things you can do. "We have to learn to let go of our past, we have to give up all hopes for a perfect past. Let the past go, it's gone." After that, he says, "Take a vow of kindness. Be kinder to yourself and to others.
"It's never too late to be happy," he says.
http://www.oprah.com/tows/slide/200704/20070411/slide_20070411_350_101.jhtml
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Hold you in arms
Hold you in my arms - Ray LaMontagne
When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears
It was easy to see that you'd been crying
Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns
But who really profits from the dying
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you in my arms forever
When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions
It's my worried mind that you quiet
Place your hands on my face
Close my eyes and say
Love is a poor man's food
Don't prophesize
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
So now we see how it is
This fist begets the spear
Weapons of war
Symptoms of madness
Don't let your eyes refuse to see
Don't let your ears refuse to hear
Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold on forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold forever
"Sometimes I am afraid of losing you."
Thank you for making me feel that I am that woman. Thank you for making me feel that losing me will mean a great loss to you. Thank you for acknowledging my presence and how important I am in your life.
You are my Zahir...always have and always be.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Of a woman
I look across at the woman who has just made coffee and is now reading the newspaper, whose eyes look tired and desperate, who does not always show her affection in gestures, the woman who made me say 'yes' when I wanted to say 'no', who forced me to fight for what she believed was my reason for living, who let me set off alone because her love for me was greater than her love for herself, who made me go in search of my dream;
and suddenly, seeing that small quiet woman, whose eyes said more than any words, who was often terrified inside but always courageous in her actions, who could love someone without humbling herself and who never apologised for fighting for her man, suddenly, my fingers press down the keys.
I wish I can be that woman...capable of loving someone purely, allowing him to reach for his dreams, making him believe that he has a lot to offer.
I wish he knows I'm there for him... like he has been there for me all these while...
I wish him happiness in life, even if it means that it may not include me... For seeing him happy and at peace make me content...
I wish I am capable of unconditional love..
and suddenly, seeing that small quiet woman, whose eyes said more than any words, who was often terrified inside but always courageous in her actions, who could love someone without humbling herself and who never apologised for fighting for her man, suddenly, my fingers press down the keys.
I wish I can be that woman...capable of loving someone purely, allowing him to reach for his dreams, making him believe that he has a lot to offer.
I wish he knows I'm there for him... like he has been there for me all these while...
I wish him happiness in life, even if it means that it may not include me... For seeing him happy and at peace make me content...
I wish I am capable of unconditional love..
Devils disguise as humans
Trenor's statement said on July 24, she and Zeigler both beat the child with leather belts and held her head under water in the bathtub. She said Zeigler picked the girl up by her hair and also threw her across the room, slamming her head into the tile floor.
After her daughter died, Trenor's statement said, she and Zeigler went to a Wal-Mart that night and bought the Sterilite container, a shovel, concrete mix, and other supplies.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/11/26/body.found.arrest/index.html
If you have no more love for your own child, there are MANY options for you. Adoption, child services, etc. You dont have to resort to abusing or killing them. Many people out there who are capable to love your child.
I hate these people. Luckily I'm not a politician or a judge. Otherwise, harsher punishment for these devils.
After her daughter died, Trenor's statement said, she and Zeigler went to a Wal-Mart that night and bought the Sterilite container, a shovel, concrete mix, and other supplies.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/11/26/body.found.arrest/index.html
If you have no more love for your own child, there are MANY options for you. Adoption, child services, etc. You dont have to resort to abusing or killing them. Many people out there who are capable to love your child.
I hate these people. Luckily I'm not a politician or a judge. Otherwise, harsher punishment for these devils.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
The acomodador
There is always an event in our lives that is responsible for us failing to progress: a trauma, a particular bitter defeat, a disappointment in love, even a victory that we did not quite understand, can make cowards of us and prevent us from moving on. As part of the process of increasing his hidden powers, the shaman must first free himself from that giving-up point and, to do so, he must review his whole life and find out where it occured.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy endings?
Tonight's Californication episode had a sad ending. On arrival at Karen's house, Hank bumped into Karen (the ex-wife) and Becca (their daughter) at the front door. Karen was rushing to see Mia (her fiance's daughter) who got herself into men & drug trouble. So Hank insisted on accompanying Karen, leaving their 12 year old daughter all by herself. Oh yeah, Hank slept with Mia before (before they knew they were actually connected i.e. Mia's dad is seeing Hank's ex wife!).
When they got back, Hank went to see Becca to wish her good night and to say that he'll make it up to her another day. Earlier on, they had a discussion on happy endings, about having realistic hopes. Becca said, "It's ok dad. I know you dont mean to let me down. But you always do. And sometimes, when it becomes too often, at the end of the day, we just say 'f*** off'. Here's your change, dad. You can keep it."
As much as she wants to believe that her dad wants to be there for her, it just doesnt happen. Action speaks louder than words. Too many disappointments that she feels that when it comes to him, her expectation must be realistic.
When the statement comes from your own child, the cut goes deeper......
ps: I had to decline two dates that would have been the highlights of my life. One was last week, to watch a football match and definitely dine with hot-looking footballers. *winks* Mr Milan's team qualified to the Euro 2008 games. Tomorrow, to watch a theatre. I've been busy for the past few weeks and any free time that I have, I want to spend it with my girl. The dates can wait.
When they got back, Hank went to see Becca to wish her good night and to say that he'll make it up to her another day. Earlier on, they had a discussion on happy endings, about having realistic hopes. Becca said, "It's ok dad. I know you dont mean to let me down. But you always do. And sometimes, when it becomes too often, at the end of the day, we just say 'f*** off'. Here's your change, dad. You can keep it."
As much as she wants to believe that her dad wants to be there for her, it just doesnt happen. Action speaks louder than words. Too many disappointments that she feels that when it comes to him, her expectation must be realistic.
When the statement comes from your own child, the cut goes deeper......
ps: I had to decline two dates that would have been the highlights of my life. One was last week, to watch a football match and definitely dine with hot-looking footballers. *winks* Mr Milan's team qualified to the Euro 2008 games. Tomorrow, to watch a theatre. I've been busy for the past few weeks and any free time that I have, I want to spend it with my girl. The dates can wait.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
How do you manage?
That seems to be the most asked question by my colleagues/directors these days.
Of late, I have too much things on my plate. Deadlines (never work with bankers, unless of course you are one. Then you have control of things. *smiles *), family life (new nanny, school's meeting), etc. I was working so hard last week that I hardly spoke to anyone, which is unlike me to do so. Ms Argentina kept saying how quiet I had been lately. Even coffee rounds were minimised.
I wish I have the answer. Sometimes I ask myself the same. But if I think about it too much, I'm sure I'd get stressed out. And nothing gets done when you are stressed.
One thing for sure, without my daughter's support, I wouldnt be able to do whatever I'm doing.
ps: Should read the "Law of Attraction". Read a few articles about it in the past and a book at lunch time today. I forgot the author's name but I will try to write a posting on it.
Of late, I have too much things on my plate. Deadlines (never work with bankers, unless of course you are one. Then you have control of things. *smiles *), family life (new nanny, school's meeting), etc. I was working so hard last week that I hardly spoke to anyone, which is unlike me to do so. Ms Argentina kept saying how quiet I had been lately. Even coffee rounds were minimised.
I wish I have the answer. Sometimes I ask myself the same. But if I think about it too much, I'm sure I'd get stressed out. And nothing gets done when you are stressed.
One thing for sure, without my daughter's support, I wouldnt be able to do whatever I'm doing.
ps: Should read the "Law of Attraction". Read a few articles about it in the past and a book at lunch time today. I forgot the author's name but I will try to write a posting on it.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Crush
My first crush:
My second crush:
My present crush:
I fell in love with crush # 1 about 12 years ago (damn! Has it been that long?). He played as the evil-turned-good vampire along with Sarah M Gellar, who was the slayer & gf. I don’t know what’s with me with vampires but I cant seem to resist any series/movies which are related to that species. But don’t you notice that most of the demons are drop dead sexy e.g. interview with vampires (Bradd Pitt/ Tom Cruise), Charmed (Phoebe’s boyfriend, The Lord of the Underworld) etc. So how could I resist David Boreanaz? *winks*
Crush #2 started when I watched LOTR and Pirates of the Caribbean (but somehow in POC, Captain Jack Sparrow is more desirable than him). Maybe becos he doesn’t show emotions in his character and slays the creatures so smoothly make him so damn sexy.
As for crush #3, he is such a sweet character in Grey’s Anatomy. Despite his love for Meredith, he tried to make his marriage work with his unfaithful wife, which then ended up with a divorce. He is just the noble man. He has always been there for Meredith, such strong bond, as a lover/ex-lover/friend. Besides, with his messy hair, especially after a surgery, makes him so yummy. *smiles*
Crush #1 is back with the Bones series. I think he looks better in suit, more manly. Come to think of it, I have a thing with men in suit. Not all men of course. Just the ones who pose strong charisma, high intellect and a little bit of good looks (note, a LITTLE bit. Too handsome is just not my thing).
So… do I have the same taste in my crushes? Do they share anything in common?
The real men in my life, as for looks, none of them come close to the above. Well, maybe McDreamy. He has similarities with Patrick Dempsey, except for height and hair. Mr Big, the way he shows his emotions is exactly like Legolas (well, most of the time). Mr Milan looks like Sean Connery (Ruby will melt. *winks*).
They all have ONE thing in common. They look damn good in suits! Most of the time, they are in one anyway. No wonder I melt.
Ps: The drug is very effective. Despite being ‘high’ for the past few days, I’m feeling much better. Must be strong antibiotics plus good sleep. .
I fell in love with crush # 1 about 12 years ago (damn! Has it been that long?). He played as the evil-turned-good vampire along with Sarah M Gellar, who was the slayer & gf. I don’t know what’s with me with vampires but I cant seem to resist any series/movies which are related to that species. But don’t you notice that most of the demons are drop dead sexy e.g. interview with vampires (Bradd Pitt/ Tom Cruise), Charmed (Phoebe’s boyfriend, The Lord of the Underworld) etc. So how could I resist David Boreanaz? *winks*
Crush #2 started when I watched LOTR and Pirates of the Caribbean (but somehow in POC, Captain Jack Sparrow is more desirable than him). Maybe becos he doesn’t show emotions in his character and slays the creatures so smoothly make him so damn sexy.
As for crush #3, he is such a sweet character in Grey’s Anatomy. Despite his love for Meredith, he tried to make his marriage work with his unfaithful wife, which then ended up with a divorce. He is just the noble man. He has always been there for Meredith, such strong bond, as a lover/ex-lover/friend. Besides, with his messy hair, especially after a surgery, makes him so yummy. *smiles*
Crush #1 is back with the Bones series. I think he looks better in suit, more manly. Come to think of it, I have a thing with men in suit. Not all men of course. Just the ones who pose strong charisma, high intellect and a little bit of good looks (note, a LITTLE bit. Too handsome is just not my thing).
So… do I have the same taste in my crushes? Do they share anything in common?
The real men in my life, as for looks, none of them come close to the above. Well, maybe McDreamy. He has similarities with Patrick Dempsey, except for height and hair. Mr Big, the way he shows his emotions is exactly like Legolas (well, most of the time). Mr Milan looks like Sean Connery (Ruby will melt. *winks*).
They all have ONE thing in common. They look damn good in suits! Most of the time, they are in one anyway. No wonder I melt.
Ps: The drug is very effective. Despite being ‘high’ for the past few days, I’m feeling much better. Must be strong antibiotics plus good sleep. .
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
What should I do to marry a rich guy?
Being one of the City people, I find this very amusing:
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Ms. Pretty
Here's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation.
If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later. By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you.
I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me .
Signed, J.P.
I think I rather earn $500k and above, than marrying a guy who earns that much of money. The term "leasing" sounds very favorable, especially when there are many hot-looking guys out there. *winks*
I am sounding so "perempuan" today. Must be the drugs. hehhehe... I think I even flirted with the sexy-looking waiter today, where I took the new joiner and colleagues for lunch. Hey, he was wearing jeans and white shirt (smartly) in a fine restaurant. I think the only reason he flirted back was because I paid the bill. Hmm, I wonder how many hot looking men will come to me if I earn twice than now. *evil winks*
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Ms. Pretty
Here's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation.
If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later. By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you.
I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me .
Signed, J.P.
I think I rather earn $500k and above, than marrying a guy who earns that much of money. The term "leasing" sounds very favorable, especially when there are many hot-looking guys out there. *winks*
I am sounding so "perempuan" today. Must be the drugs. hehhehe... I think I even flirted with the sexy-looking waiter today, where I took the new joiner and colleagues for lunch. Hey, he was wearing jeans and white shirt (smartly) in a fine restaurant. I think the only reason he flirted back was because I paid the bill. Hmm, I wonder how many hot looking men will come to me if I earn twice than now. *evil winks*
Monday, November 05, 2007
Blogger's blues..
Ms CFO texted me EARLY this morning, “I love your blog! Nice writings.”
Errrr…. How on earth did she figure out it was mine? Besides, not many people link their blog to my blog. She must have blog-hopped many times that she actually encountered mine. Must change profession now since being CFO gives you plenty of time to surf. (peace dear!). Guess my effort to be anonymous isn’t that effective after all. *smiles*
Things to complete by end of today: send employment contract to the new nanny and confirm start date, make arrangements for the new joiner who I’m supposed to be mentoring, send the report out by tonight. And it is only Monday.
This is not helping me to speed up the recovery process (yes. I am still sick!) Part of it is due to insufficient rest. Friday night’s sleep was interrupted by a neighbour’s party. They were having it until 5am!!! Other neighbours banged at their door/ shouted from their windows etc etc but they kept on partying/singing (with a very bad voice! These are women tenants). It wasn’t their first time being inconsiderate. Once, they were shagging at 9pm! The whole neighbourhood (yes it was that loud!) could hear them. I told Mcdreamy and he reckons I should enjoy it the next time they do it. I rather not. I think I’ll stick to Californication series, which is far more entertaining. *winks*
Oh yeah, I asked around on who should I choose to be the new nanny, European or South American. So I texted Mr Big:
Me: Women’s responses: Do they have relevant qualifications, have they worked in child-care place? Men’s response: which one is prettier/hot/sexy? Heheh…
Mr Big: Your lil girl’s response: are they near as good as my mommy? No way. Nobody is and nobody will be. So nobody is qualified. Hehheh…
Yes Mr Big. You are definitely right. If only I win the £18 million jackpot, then I can be SAHM. Or maybe if I join private bank for 3-4 years, earn millions of bonus, then I retire early and just use the interest earned on my savings.
Now back to reality…
Errrr…. How on earth did she figure out it was mine? Besides, not many people link their blog to my blog. She must have blog-hopped many times that she actually encountered mine. Must change profession now since being CFO gives you plenty of time to surf. (peace dear!). Guess my effort to be anonymous isn’t that effective after all. *smiles*
Things to complete by end of today: send employment contract to the new nanny and confirm start date, make arrangements for the new joiner who I’m supposed to be mentoring, send the report out by tonight. And it is only Monday.
This is not helping me to speed up the recovery process (yes. I am still sick!) Part of it is due to insufficient rest. Friday night’s sleep was interrupted by a neighbour’s party. They were having it until 5am!!! Other neighbours banged at their door/ shouted from their windows etc etc but they kept on partying/singing (with a very bad voice! These are women tenants). It wasn’t their first time being inconsiderate. Once, they were shagging at 9pm! The whole neighbourhood (yes it was that loud!) could hear them. I told Mcdreamy and he reckons I should enjoy it the next time they do it. I rather not. I think I’ll stick to Californication series, which is far more entertaining. *winks*
Oh yeah, I asked around on who should I choose to be the new nanny, European or South American. So I texted Mr Big:
Me: Women’s responses: Do they have relevant qualifications, have they worked in child-care place? Men’s response: which one is prettier/hot/sexy? Heheh…
Mr Big: Your lil girl’s response: are they near as good as my mommy? No way. Nobody is and nobody will be. So nobody is qualified. Hehheh…
Yes Mr Big. You are definitely right. If only I win the £18 million jackpot, then I can be SAHM. Or maybe if I join private bank for 3-4 years, earn millions of bonus, then I retire early and just use the interest earned on my savings.
Now back to reality…
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