The price of guilt

I was expecting myself to be queuing for hours on Boxing day to get the Devil’s handbag and shoes and of course, MD’s attire after. Alas my dream was crushed on Xmas eve. All of a sudden, a bug hit me and less than 24 hours I was forced to be bedridden. This lasted for a few days. I couldn’t even leave the bed without seeing black polka dots.

Hmm, I wonder why the mind decided to see so. It would have been nicer if it was twinkling stars or flying pixies.

The temperature finally dropped today but I still feel weak. The young lady has been putting a brave face. Occasionally I could see she cried silently, hoping her mummy to get better. She quickly wiped her tears before she got into the room, thinking that her mum wouldn’t notice her worry.

Why do kids think they can fool their mums, eh? They should know that we have radar for these things. *grins*

Anyway, as I was feeling guilty, I asked the nanny to take her out. Naturally the young lady refused to leave me home alone but I told her that she needed to check if mummy’s favourite DVD is out. It was a distraction of course.

When she got home, she was smiling from ear to ear. She got herself a new DS game. It was a small price to pay for a girl who had to go through emotional stress.

As for me, my purse was spared. I supposed it was not meant for me to spend this year. Perhaps next time yeah. *winks*

*Ms B will take a few days off to recuperate. She hopes she has enough entertainment at home to keep her sane*

The weather outside is frightful

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

Christmas came early with the presence of white snowflakes in the middle of last week. By Friday, it was thick enough to disrupt the commute of the average Londoners i.e. those who live outside the city. Some of my colleagues decided to work from home, leaving those who had no excuse to do so to run business as usual. I reckoned it was just a reason to do last minute gift shopping.

I am looking forward to the long break but I still have a few days to go before my holiday. Hopefully it’ll be a quiet one at work but there is still a slight chance of hard labour. A few of my friends are coming over, one of whom I haven’t seen for a decade. The Bangkok lady and I took the same course back in uni and we were study-mates (amongst other things of course! *grins*). We either hanged out at our department’s library or the national one in the city. When we weren’t busy revising, which by the way was three quarters of the year, we went to the beach for their famous milkshake/coffee, the riverside for its Sunday market or a nearby town for its factory outlets.

The good old days....

Anyway, Love Actually was on telly last night. I love the movie, especially on the boy’s crush on his lead singer, leading him to dash airport security and bid farewell to the girl. I’m sure every one of us wishes for that moment, or had one and cherishes it till this day.

Until then, let’s enjoy those non-stop romance movies and not worry about the freezing weather outside. Keep warm dear friends.

Are you a wild thing?

Before I embarked on my journey to the west a few years ago, I was warned that the City could be depressing. The suicidal rates were high and in fact, this friend of mine knew someone who ended his own life while working here. I was unsure the factor of such but I was told that the weather was partly to blame. Apparently the likelihood of this happening was higher during this time of the year.

Yet minus the weather, December is always a month where most people are on their happy mode. In fact, one hardly has time to feel depressed as there are always Christmas lunches or dinners to go to or gifts to find. For us parents, we’ll be busy preparing for our kid’s school play which also includes enduring to their non-stop practising of the songs and script. Last Friday the nanny had a shock when the young lady said she had nine homework which was more than what she normally gets. It turned out to be nine songs for her play!

Even for us who don’t celebrate it, we look forward to the month as the majority of us are in holiday mood. Last week, there were only one third left in my department. Some even took the opportunity to have long lunches, a rare at my workplace. We usually grab a sandwich or a cup of soup and eat at our desk for a mere 15-20 minutes.

The best part of the month is not Christmas but Boxing Day when the much anticipated sales begin. It is when people will queue for hours and brace themselves for freezing weather just to get desired items which are on sale at 50 per cent off. Occasionally things may go ugly especially when two women want to get the same item. I suppose the sale season does bring out a wild thing out of us. *grins*

Speaking of wild things, the young lady has asked for a trip to the cinema to catch the latest movie, a story based on Maurice Sendak’s book. We didn’t have time this week due to commitments but I am hoping next week we can slot something. I trust her judgment and often, it’d be me enjoying the movie more than she does. Besides, I dont have much choice since the only movies we can watch should be rated PG or U.



Inside all of us is
everything you've seen
everything you've done
everything you've ever loved
There is one in all of us

Inside all of us is hope
Inside all of us is fear
Inside all of us is adventure
Inside all of us is a wild thing

The last month of the year

It’s that time of the year where one starts to reflect on one’s journey and milestones given that there were some goals laid at the beginning of the year. I’m sure most of us had something set in their mind, tangible or not. It may include a better job or for some people, any job will do, a new handbag or a pair of shoes, to save more money for early retirement (as if that will ever happen. It’s hard to kick out the workaholic habit), to loose or gain weight (failed miserably!), to revamp one’s wardrobe (must watch Devil wears Prada again), the list can go endlessly.

The only reason I am writing this is because I may go bonkers for staying home for another day. My hands are tempted to switch on the office’s laptop and check my emails but I know it will not be good for my health. I ran out of dvds (box set!) and did the laundry, so I’m left with no choice but to ramble on this topic.

If I recall correctly, I didn’t have any solid resolutions. There was nothing in particular that I wanted. At that point in life, I had almost what other people wished for; a caring, thoughtful and lovely daughter who picks me up without fail, a good-paying career which allows me to juggle my life as a single parent in a foreign land and includes a lifestyle of holiday, handbags and shoes (esp when the young lady is into trend), a handful of good friends who simply let me be me.

In a nutshell, I was content. I was grateful with the things that the One Above bestowed on me. With no set goals in mind, I simply allowed the journey to run its course and I was the passenger, enjoying the view.

Little did I know that it would take me to surprising places.

About a year ago, I decided to make a wish on my birthday for the sake of tradition. As I mentioned, you never know when the fairies would eavesdrop. I suppose they did as it was granted.

I wished for love.

Zombie bride

For over a week I disconnected myself from the outside world. Well, not entirely true. I just detached myself from blogosphere, emails and anything that fell under the same category. Some knew the reason for my absence and probably would do the same if they were in my shoes. When you are aware you have limited time with your loved ones, you’ll want to spend every single minute with them. If it meant cutting down time for myself and spend more with my loved ones, why not?

Although I was a bit crushed when I could not watch New Moon, no matter how much I emphasised on the sexy vampires and hot werewolves. I should have told that there were beautiful girls then perhaps a trip to the cinema was possible.

At least I was guaranteed home-cooked meals every day. I suppose it was a fair trade and it was nice to be pampered. I should have had that in the prenup.

Anyway, another glitch occurred a few days ago. I am currently under the weather and the past few nights have been a struggle. Thankfully the persistent cough only occur night time, thus I am able to continue doing my daily routine. However, I must say the lack of sleep (we are talking max of 3-4 hours every day!) has resulted me feeling like a zombie. I hope my current state as shown below is only temporary:

I am praying hard for a decent sleep tonight. Bonne nuit!

The love story so far

If there's a crisis, you don't freeze, you move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you've seen worse. You've survived worse, and you know we'll survive too. You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength. It makes you who you are. I'm not gonna get down on one knee, I'm not gonna ask a question. I love you, and I wanna spend the rest of my life, with you.




To love each other, even when we hate each other
Nobody walks out. No matter what happens
That we'll take care of each other, even when we're old, and smelly, and senile
This is forever

*Ms B and Mini B would like to thank their beautiful friends for their love, thoughts and support.*

Chocolat

“For a person who is about to make some big changes in her life, you are extremely calm. In fact, you are more stressed out on getting this deal done.”

Work has kept me occupied to the extent that my sense of feeling has gone numb. It is to no surprise that I’m being mistaken as ice queen at times. How can one be excited on something when she has many on her mind? It’s like celebrating your 21st birthday on your crucial exam or being told that you nailed that job while attending a funeral, although the latter seems dramatic.

Work is indeed a sanctuary for me to disconnect myself when needed.

So when I left the office not long ago, somehow the emotions that were deprived from making appearance started to surface. The twenty minute cab journey felt twice as long and I was again lost in my own thoughts. Forget about butterflies. It felt more like dinosaurs doing their salsa in my tummy.

Slowly the pictures of my loved ones emerged inside my head, making a slideshow accompanied with melancholy songs. I could see their smile and sense the warmth of their love. It took me awhile to realise that it may not be as scary as it seemed. If it is meant to be, things flow in a click. I suppose I need to trust the One above and let myself walk along this path.

While I try to keep my dam intact, let me share you what I grabbed today. I was looking for ideas to get something as a token of appreciation and my ten minute escape from work resulted to this:

I hope I got enough for everyone. I will use tomorrow for the much needed body TLC. Darn! I’ve already missed part of my beauty sleep tonight.

Six pence

It was another roller-coaster week with the young lady down with an almost-full-blown flu. Sleepless nights were expected and to make matters worse, I had another deal due by the end of the week. Somehow all those years of multi-tasking came in handy and we both survived. Phew!

As she was feeling bright and shine yesterday, we thought it’d be nice to go out and chill. Thankfully the weather was on our side, at least during the day. It started to rain in the evening and today, it looks like it’s a storm out there. Perhaps it is nothing compare to the Norwegian weather but for this part of the world, it’s close enough to be considered a storm.

Where was I? Ah, yes. While we were making our way to the nearest bus stop close to the famous park, something popped inside my head and I asked the young lady, “would you like to catch a falling leaf?”

Of course the suggestion was welcomed with a wide grin and sparkling eyes. There we were, running under the trees, trying our best to catch one. At one point we bumped into each other, making the whole thing looked silly. In between our giggles and laughter, I couldn’t help feeling how much fun we were having. I could sense people around us were smiling and somewhat envied our silliness, as if life was free from troubles.

Then, at the mall, there was a stage which replicated a music recording studio complete with props and anyone could come up and take photo. The young lady wanted to give it ago and she picked the guitar. I placed the strap on her shoulders and she was ready to be the next rock star. *grins* Her ‘band’ had another guitarist and drummer, both girls and younger than her. I think they had a singer too, a toddler who wanted to be close to his sister on stage.

It was definitely a good day and the crazy week we had seemed to have faded away. As I count my blessing, I look forward to a new journey...

Something old, something new,
Something borrowed, something blue,
And silver six pence in your shoe.

Picture equation

I am trying my best to avoid being this:

and this:



but it seems challenging. Maybe a cup of lemsip and a good night sleep will do the trick, as well as minimising human interaction.

Hmm, perhaps Edward Cullen and Jacob can kick some feel-good factor. Eh, I forgot. I thought I fancied Paul more.

Definitely it is time for stress reliever.

*Ms B is glad that her mini B made a speedy recovery after 2 days of high fever. She's truly a super girl.*

What about now?

Of late, I’ve been following a new series, FlashForward. I am unsure if it qualifies as ‘following’ as I missed the first two episodes and used the ‘on-demand’ to catch up. Occasionally when I’m too tired, my mind tends to wander while watching and I end up using the online to recap.

Well, at least I have something to occupy my time until Mentalist season 2 kicks off. The series have good looking asian men i.e. agent Cho and agent Demetri, both are Koreans if I’m not mistaken. I bet my Korean lover friends/readers will start googling if they have not heard of them. *grin*

What’s the relevance of this series and my post? Something has been irking me. Not too much but enough for me to share with friends (and you) about it. Because of my background, my decisions have always been made after thorough calculation. Ok, I lied. I had some situations where my actions were made on the spur of the moment but they were a small fraction as a whole. I mean, can you resist a good bargain on handbags and shoes? *grins*

As much as I feel glad that people are keeping tab on me, some questions should be dropped. Maybe they are concerned but there is a line between caring and putting your nose in where it’s not wanted.

So, instead of analysing the decision and situation, I wish they try to be me and see it from my perspective. Try putting on the “hat and shoes” and take a test drive. Only then they may be able to understand whether the option is safe or risky, good or bad.

As I told a friend recently, people around you usually say that they will be by your side no matter what but the reality is, we lead our own life. We have our own worries to handle and put our loved ones’ wellbeing before others. Often, it is those who are close to your heart who will be there through thick and thin, or to be precise, for the rest of your life.

In Flashforward, they are caught up with what will happen in six months time that they stop thinking about the present. If we worry about the future, of which in the series refers to someone dying, a wife with a new lover etc, we stop living for the moment. The future hasn’t happened and despite whatever consequences it may be, if we worry too much about it, are we not wasting our present time?

Thus, I choose to believe in my dreams, in the presence of those who are close to my heart.

“So live your life. Live everyday and know that the future is unwritten; make the most of it.”

Dreams come true

Take a look at yourself in the mirror, who do you see looking back?
Is it the person you wanna be?
Or is there someone else you were meant to be, the person you should have been but just fell short of.
Is someone telling you that you can't or you won't? Because you can.
Believe that love is out there.
And believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do.
Sometimes happiness doesn't come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family, and from the quiet nobility of leading a good life.
So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy, because you deserve to be. Believe that.
And believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do
~One Tree Hill~

Fairy tales pretty much form our life, from the start of the day until it’s time to say good night. A trip to a nearby shop often includes ponies and unicorn, occasionally a pagasus tags along. The last time I was told we had four ponies and a handful of unicorns, all live in a barn opposite our home. It keeps them warm during this cold weather and I’m sure they’ll enjoy its comfort when winter arrives.
At home, the role of house elves is commonly used and that gives her the ticket to tidy the place. She would love to do the dishes but I feel she needs to grow a few more inches before I allow her to do such. At the moment, she has been given the permission to grab her own snacks for tea and sometimes breakfast if I’m forced to stay in bed due to unavoidable circumstances. She happily takes yoghurt or cheese strings from the fridge or butter buns on the kitchen top.

Our morning walk to the school will be incomplete without greetings from squirrels, often trying to dash the road to explore another garden. One particular squirrel has caught our attention as it is always at the same spot and crosses the road just before we reach there. We have yet to name it as the young lady is unsure if it’s a male or female. So we just call it ‘squirrel’, so much for our creativity. We say ‘good morning squirrel’ and have a decent conversation with it, from school stuff to fruit of the day.

As it is autumn, leaves have started to fall which has led her to scrutinise her view to catch one. It seems lady luck will be on our side should she succeed. Sometimes she finds a penny on the floor and quickly picks, saying today will be a good day for both of us.

This is our life, where fairy tales come true, where magic and miracles exist. Sometimes it only needs a little bit of imagination and it takes away all the pain, sorrow, bad dreams...

If this was a fairy tale, just like Cinderella, I have yet to find a pair of glass slippers to attend the ball.

Between breakfast, beverage and soup

Amongst other things on my pile of to do list was finding a particular item. Once again I thought it’d be an easy task but oh boy, how wronged was I! None of the items I saw was ‘calling me’, thus leaving me with no option but to go to safe places or take a stroll along my favourite street.

They say you cant go wrong with breakfast. Unfortunately, the one I liked which I saw online was not available in store. The ones they had were not exactly my taste, thus I had to eliminate them (so much for wanting to be safe).

Then it was time to test beverage. It wasn’t bad at all. I found a few which met my requirement. They weren’t exactly what I was looking for but after trying, they turned out nice, thus stressing the importance of testing your goods before deciding. The store manager took the time to advise and gave me a range for consideration.

However, I stumbled upon something which truly represented me in soup. Her place was sandwiched between two big stores and had a huge bouncer standing in front of the door. Me and the buddy weren’t sure whether we should go in but Mr Bear (the bouncer did look like one!) smiled and asked if we wanted to. We seized the offer and just went inside.

There it was... the perfect thing... soup was all about attention to details which makes her items unique. I couldn’t help admiring her work and I knew instantly that I have fallen for it.

The question now is whether I should follow my heart or mind. Between soup and beverage, the latter has practical range. Affordability no longer applies in this equation but being me, my mind usually rules. Beverage is known for its superb quality but soup is all about individuality. My mind says I should go for beverage but my heart yearns for the presence of soup!

After a few days of tossing about the idea, I decided to end my sleepless nights. I picked up the phone and made an appointment... *smile*

Yeah I know.. Too many metaphors. *wink*

Have a good weekend friends!

*Ms B and mini B will miss their shopping-mates who are on their way back home. She hopes the bond she shares with her friend will continue between their chic girls.*

of dresses..

The 4 day break, well make it 3 if you take into account the morning spent on the first day of leave to complete my work, went by so quickly that I think I did not fully recover from the hectic schedule which I had past weeks. Nevertheless, we had fun, with an added taste of Halloween which came earlier than expected. It is best that I keep this to ourselves *winks* but just a hint, it involved the presence of an unexpected animal at where we were staying during the break. *grins*

Anyway, it was another girly weekend and of course, it goes without saying that a shopping rendezvous is a must on the list. Here’s a sneak peak of our latest grabs:

Hers:

Mia sunray ivory dress

Lottie pink organza dress

As for myself, I fell for Marissa taffeta dress in metallic grey, however, the one in black was a steal. Typical of me for defying rules, I decided to get the latter instead:

I suppose an ivory shawl or knitted cape will do the trick to meet the theme. Then again, I dont think it matters as the dress itself is stunning.

By the way, do check out Shopaholic Mom which I added on the right hand column. Chic clothes for your kids *wink*

Time out

I am officially on leave! *grins* I still had things to do last night and only managed to email my work about an hour ago (yes I woke up very early to get them done). I am just taking two days off as it is the term break and I spend more time at work and with my laptop even when I am at home. Guilt kicks in and naturally, it seems best to take time off and forget about work.

What do we plan to do? Apart from sorting the essentials, which by the way, I managed to tick some items off the list, we will spend time with friends and perhaps do an outing just outside London tomorrow, if time permits.

I had a polyvore to go with this post but I had more things to add and couldn’t find them. Guess I have to defer it until it is close to the ‘idea’. *smile*

First stop, breakfast of course. Looking forward to hot nasi lemak and teh tarik. Then, we probably head to one of London's favorite streets.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Following the norm?

Gosh! How I miss penning down my thoughts. Work keeps on coming, a sign to recovery it seems. However, after the restructuring which took place about a year ago, having more staff would be good. I can sense my colleagues and I are knackered.

Anyway, let’s talk on girly stuff. *smiles*

A group of girls, well, two mothers and their ever-so-chic daughters, went roaming in the department stores in search of the right frock. It didn’t matter to the girls what kind of clothes we tried on as long as they were pretty, or better, made us looked like a princess or fairy. They do have those clothes you know, I mean, being magical creatures. They were our biggest critics, although one of them vocabulary was limited to ‘pretty’, ‘cute’ or ‘princess’. We had so much fun that we forgot how tired we felt until we reached home. All of us had an early night. In fact, I reckoned we slept earlier than our girls. *lol*

On another note, sometimes I feel the expectation set by people can be rather annoying. Just because some of us choose simplicity, it does not mean we are not excited. Take the designers for example. Some love ‘bling bling’ and others prefer the concept of ‘less is more’. Why do people question the unnecessary details when the end result is still the same? A few years from now, I dont think they even remember those things.

If you like something, it doesn’t matter how much it costs as long as you wear it, then the item is worthy. There is no point buying designer shoes or bags if they end up in the closet. Similarly a small party attended by people you care is more meaningful. In fact, some dont even like parties and their idea of a birthday celebration is to stay at home and perhaps cook dinner for their loved ones. Yet, people love to question on the lack of following the norm. For all we know, the trend was created by a handful but just because they are the attention seekers, it becomes an acceptable way of life.

Right, I better get ready to work now.

Finding Neverland

Pix from wiki.

Over the last few weeks, our life has been on a roller coaster to the extent that I feel I'm close to reaching the boiling point. I haven’t snapped, yet. I am merely expressing my grouses to a handful, those who feel my hectic lifestyle is colourful and listening to my dissatisfaction is the highlight of their day. Although I must say that I wish I could trade place with them and have a flexible diary, squeezing coffee or lunch whenever I please. Unfortunately, it is just a wishful thinking and if I can find a way to apply leave from reality, I wouldn’t mind flying off to Neverland, sans Capt Hook. The young lady has managed to convince me that being a fairy has many perks, including stylish attire for different season. They even have designs for Halloween.

For the first time, I forgot to put a slot in my diary for an annual event at her school. As we left home this morning, I asked if it was ok for me not to attend. She hesitated and said it was fine. Sensing her disappointment, I said I would try my best and if I could make it, I will miss some parts of the show. Her face lit and replied that it was fine for being late as long as I could be there.
Thus I am trying my best to keep everything together, without losing my state of mind. I reckon it has reached questionable level judging from my desire of becoming a magical creature and hoping to see Capt Jack Sparrow.

Then again, I suppose we each have our own way to unwind and for me, if it means finding my way to Neverland, why not?

*Ms B apologizes for not being able to blog hop, leave or reply comments. She barely has time to eat, let alone succumb to her guilty pleasure. It is to no surprise that she has gone ‘cuckoo’.*

Life is a maze and love is a riddle

The young lady's latest favourite tune. Can you spot the tomatoes? *wink*

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
Jjust enjoy the show

*******

The young lady got herself a new outfit over the weekend; a red devil’s dress complete with headgear. Her groovy aunt whom we met for lunch gave a green packet which was enough for her to get the outfit. She wore it almost immediately. It didn’t matter that I had a small devil holding my hand in the mall as I could see witches, wizards and fairies among us. I foresee this will last for the next few weeks.

‘Pretty’ and ‘cute’ were forbidden. Instead, we had to say she looked scary and awful. She even posed for the occasion and asked Groovy Aunt to capture them.

Alas, the devil in her only lasted for a day. As I was down with a bad stomach bug yesterday, she helped me to do the house chores. I wished I had the energy to make baked macaroni as she requested but it was a struggle and we settled for chicken soup instead. Still, she wasn’t complaining and finished the whole bowl.

Despite feeling blue, the young lady’s latest song has a calming effect. I too find myself singing to the tune.

“I want my money back. I want my money back. I want my money back. Just enjoy the show”.

Shake the bottle

I once asked a friend if she experienced of not wanting to share emotional posts after people she knew read her blog. I have had this reluctance ever since I made my blog known to some people or became closer to blogger friends. I avoid writing when I feel melancholy as I am pretty sure it will raise an alarm. Nevertheless, one cannot avoid expressing if one wants to maintain sanity. The more you hold back, the bigger the explosion. Imagine a bottle of coke being shaken many times and we open the bottle cap, the degree of spill is bad.

Anyway, how can I compare myself to a bottle of coke? I should at least make reference to wine. It is pricier than the fizzy drink. *grin*

These days, there is a tune which keeps playing inside my head. Only today I realised it was a song by Raihan. I kept thinking of the lyrics repeatedly.

I am not sad or upset, neither I am happy or thrill. I am feeling.... just. And sometimes, all it takes to lift me up is receiving message like this, “good night tomato tree.”*smile*

Disrespecting choices

It had been a tiring and annoying week, the latter was caused by a sudden request to deal with an urgent matter on late Thursday evening. I managed to excuse myself by 7pm on Friday as I had something important the next day. Else, I was sure I’d be stuck at the office much later than that.

The weekend was good, despite the stress I felt prior to my exam, which I passed thankfully. We managed to catch up with friends and had plenty of dining session as well as play time for the young lady. She was given the green light to party all night and looked forward to fully-utilise it but her excitement was cut short when her play-mate surrendered to la-la land around 10ish. She fell asleep not long after.

Anyway, sometimes I wonder on why people expect others to respect their choice when they themselves disrespect the decisions made by others. I’m using disrespect as it covers many grounds, be it voicing out disapproval or disappointment, signalling negative vibes etc. Unless the decision involves ethics, moral or religious issue, then one would feel compelled to advise. Yet, when one is questioned on something which looks positive (no criminal intent or against values and religion), it somehow makes us think twice on telling.

Darn! Another crappy post. I was hoping to write something witty or girly (dress, shoes, ehem ehem) but I had a dull week. I need to go out, or better, go shopping! Well, maybe not indulging myself to shoes and bags but perhaps coffee with friends and enjoy the view of candymen while I still can. *grin*

Garden of weeds

A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds. And when the weeds begin to grow, it's like a garden full of snow. And when the snow begins to fall, it's like a bird upon the wall. And when the bird away does fly, it's like an eagle in the sky. And when the sky begins to roar, it's like a lion at the door. And when the door begins to crack, it's like a stick across your back. And when your back begins to smart, it's like a penknife in your heart. And when your heart begins to bleed, you're dead, and dead, and dead indeed.
Jamie, OTH

Some people have no qualms about sharing the details of their life. For some of us, we prefer to keep things to ourselves, even from those who appear to be close to us. There is no need to tell everything. Some details are on need-to-know-basis, as we normally term it in my line of work. Sometimes, due to our hectic schedule, we simply forget to tell or it slips off our mind.

Then, when there is a constant bugging of spilling the beans, one cannot help but feel annoyed by the whole thing. Occasionally, it is easier to blurt it out to someone who doesn’t ask anything or even to a stranger. I suppose when one is not provoked, the flow of sharing comes naturally.

Perhaps my lack of enthusiasm is a puzzle for some but I rather have flowers or even vegetables in my garden. Wouldn’t you agree?

Raya in a nutshell

I thought of writing a raya post as others but there is nothing much to share except that we had a great time. It was meant to be a low key affair ie invited 10 to 12 people with three quarter would be able to make it. However, just like last year, our home was ambushed by homeless kids who had nowhere to go after the prayers. My adik2 called, saying that they couldnt get rid of their friends and they begged to come to my place, without expecting me to serve anything. Somehow it felt dejavu and luckily I was smart enough to make soto. All I had to do was to soak a pack of bihun to accompany the soup. Thankfully, we had enough for everyone and they enjoyed themselves.

For the record, that group alone had 20 guests! I was told that the lamb cuisine was the talk of the town until late night. I reckon it was because they had typical malay food throughout the day, unlike the lamb dish.

My schedule is going to be very hectic for the next few weeks. I realise I have many things to do and none of them are work related! Slowly I am ticking them off from my list or at least, making some effort to get them done. I was told that the residency rules are changing again, which makes it more important to get it done. Yet, I do not see the whole point of doing so when I doubt we will be living here permanently. In the long run, it will be good for the young lady to pursue her education but what if she decides to go to the States or the Land Down Under? However, it is always good to have options, so I better get my ass up and start cracking (now why does this sound obscene?)

Oh well, at least I am making other plans, which is a good thing. Putting aside those dull tests and paperwork, I have pretty stuff to hunt which Ms V will be more than happy to help out. Something demure and a little bit of sparkle here and there will do the trick.

Thank god for polyvore for that! *wink*

*Ms B thanked her baju kurung for hiding her skeleton frame and made her looked curvy in the picture when taken at the right angle.*

Spirit of Eid

In a few days time, we'll be celebrating Eid and I thought since most of you back home will probably take tomorrow off to make a headstart of the "balik kampung" trend, I decided to post something today.

Over the last few years I have developed my own annual menu. The young lady knows this too well. In fact, once she asked when Eid will be as she missed having my signature dish! I told her that we can make it anytime and not necessarily have to wait for the Day to arrive. Apart from yellow glutinous rice or pulut kuning, we will have beef rendang and soto. We usually host our open house immediately after prayers, which means I will be burning the midnight oil the day before and wake up very early in the morning to make sure everything is in order. Last year, we were fortunate (or unfortunate if you were the cook) to have an extra 10 guests, courtesy from my adik2 as they didn’t have anywhere to go. I had to make extra pulut during the day.

Just after lunch, we usually make our rounds to our friends’ place. Mrs Dior whose lemang is to die for (I must learn how to make this before either one of us leaves this place) and Mrs Rock who is now back in homeland. I guess this year we shall visit Mrs Patience to replace Mrs Rock’s slot. Her house is just 10 minutes walk from Mrs Dior, so it makes sense to kill two birds with a stone.

Anyway we would like to wish Salam Aidil Fitri and Maaf Zahir Batin to D, Momster, Kak Teh, Naz, IDB, n.i, Fizzy, Darlene, Jane, Hunny, Simah, Inah, Danial, Jumper, Aporn, Akmal, Pak Idrus, LHM, NJ, Cosmic Gurl, Touch Cookie, Missus R, mun and Hazia.

To the ladies in the house, the young lady and I have chosen these for your gift. Feel free to take one and I hope we have enough for everyone.

I would also like to share this quote by Maya Angelou:

Well, I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live you will make mistakes. It is inevitable.

But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.'

Quite often if we hold onto the mistake we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror, so we can't see what we're capable of being. It is equally important to see the mistake and to forgive oneself for it. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self.

The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.

If you have a moment to spare, please revisit my last year's posting on forgiveness

Of Eid Wishes.

May you have a blessed Eid!
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She got the look

I am planning to get my cookies today (Sorry Naz. I don’t think I’m up to it to make them on my own. You and D are the masters in this subject). My regular suppliers said that they have more selection this year but I only take the usual. I need to store them somewhere safe, even from my own sight as I know the iman could not resist.

Last year I got this lovely baju kurung for the young lady a day before our departure from a nearby boutique. Even after alteration, it was still too big for her and hence, it was kept in the wardrobe. I took it out yesterday and now, it fits her nicely. During the summer sale a few weeks ago, she spotted a peach dress to her liking from Monsoon, together with the accessory and it will definitely be added for Eid.

As for me, I cant remember when was the last time I got myself a pair of baju kurung. For the past two years, my ever-so-thoughtful baby brother got me one. Since I’ve only worn them once (for both years), I think I might as well don them again. My only wish is that I can get back to my pre-ramadan weight. Extra flesh is much appreciated, thank you.

The young lady needed a pair of party shoes (I doubt her Sketchers is suitable for the baju kurung and dress). Off we went yesterday to the department store to search for the perfect pair. However, the ones she liked were either none of her size or uncomfortable upon trial. Feeling despair, I thought I could cheer her up by getting PlayMais, a craft made from cornstarch with different colours. They look like those wine corks, except you can squeeze or shape them and stick to each other using water.

Anyway, we thought of ditching the whole shoe hunt when I realised that one of her favourite shops has them in their range. As we walked in, she found a few items that she loved and she ended up looking like this (note: some of the items shown were already worn):





She really looked so groovy that she decided to wear the hat after I made the purchase. Oh, we found a nice pair of shoes, so mission accomplished.

Just a few doors down the road, there is a new MD outlet and imagine to our surprise when the store assistant said that they have kids collection, the first in London! Oh la la! However, the young lady was still happy with her recent grabs that she didn’t bother to get anything from there. Oh well, maybe next time.
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Stalker & Shopaholic

Someone who follows or observes (a person) persistently, especially out of obsession or derangement. (source: thefreedictionary.com)

Have you ever been stalked? It could be anyone and for whatever reason. Maybe you have a die-hard admirer or fan (curse those beautiful skin and hair!). Or perhaps someone is in denial that you are not into him or her. Then, you have another type of stalkers; the one who dates or previously dated someone you know or close to you.

I am sure we have our own ‘leeches’ lurking around. I do not comprehend why they do so as I’m sure they have better things to do than getting the latest gossips or updates of our life (What is her latest handbag? What car is she using? Who’s her latest beau? Etc.) Perhaps they would like a slice of this lifestyle but they simply forget that one needs to go through much hurdle to be where we are, or we are just good planners and able to enjoy some comfort in life.

Once I was told that someone was checking me out when she heard the guy she used to date was about to meet me. We haven’t even met yet and it could probably end up as a lousy date (it didn’t, thankfully). Yikes! Just because we hanged out, it didn’t mean we were into each other. Besides, if the guy was on a dating spree (and probably so was I), should you be checking each girl that he was meeting?

Also, I think it’s a bit extreme if you take the possession of your other half’s mobile and start calling the women on his contact list, telling them to stay away from your beau. For all you know the ladies are happily married with kids or in a long term relationship and your man is simply their best buddy. They have known him way much longer that you do, probably during the time when he was a geek wearing spectacles and with pimples on his face. It doesn’t make sense when you start harassing the girls with constant texting and calling. Some of us do have a life (and a job to keep up with). Just because they are close, do you really think they want a piece of him? Besides, since you are young and energetic, with a whopping 10 years of age gap, that should give you an edge compare to the rest of us who are in our blooming years. If this behaviour exists before tying the knot, I wonder how much it will escalate after.

Some people need to take a reality check.

Now on a lighter topic, for those shopaholics, Vogue editors are hosting a shopping night in 13 countries tomorrow. Here's a summary of what London will offer (full article can be found here: Confessions of Vogue's Shopaholics.):

At Browns on South Molton Street, Marios Schwab, Roksanda Ilincic and William Tempest will all be pitching in as personal stylists on the night.

Go to Gap on Oxford street for a live performance by VV Brown, complimentary styling advice, beer, burgers, and the chance to by a limited-edition pair of jeans.

At LK Bennett (Regent Street, Sloane Street, or Bruton Street) guests will have the chance to design, and win, their own perfect pair of heels. At Burberry on Bond Street, the Vogue editor Alexandra Shulman will host a party from 6pm, and Burberry fans including Amber Le Bon, Laura Bailey, Lily Cole, Antonio Berardi and Jonathan Saunders will be browsing the store.

Head to Marks & Spencer on Oxford Street to take in four catwalk shows, and then on to Selfridges, where Agent Provocateur is launching a new collection and there’s the chance to win a £1,000 shopping spree.
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Matters of the heart

The school holiday has come to an end. We (or maybe I) survived the 7 week break without going bonkers. Entertaining kids these days is no joke, especially for a person who has limited vocabulary when it comes to fun and creativity. Thankfully we had the kids’ centre which provided the much needed activities. The young lady enjoyed herself, with trips to Safari Park, Zoo, theatre show, horse riding to name a few. On the days they stayed at the centre, they learnt arts craft, cooked/baked and played outdoor sports. All in all, I’m glad she had fun and made new friends.

We will go back to the usual routine but after weeks of having packed lunch, the young lady has requested for such during school term. I suppose it is manageable for the time being. Things might change after a few weeks, depending on the market. If it does, school dinners will do (it is actually lunch and I have no idea why they call it such).

The young lady looks forward to the start of a new term, but she knows it will be a matter of time for us to bid farewell to this place. Still, the heart hesitates for it longs for the presence of the rest of the loved ones back home. It doesn’t make it easier when they say one should follow one’s heart, only to be felt otherwise by the subsequent opinions given. If the heart rules, living back home is no longer ideal even in the long run. Many could not see the practicality of such decision.

Yet, if a compromise decision is made and in the best interest of all parties, surely it can be seen as a solution. What works for some, may not work for others. There will always be difference in opinions and to please everyone can be a nightmare.

There is one thing for sure. For the first in a very long time, I am looking forward to Eid...


Picture from MSN

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Staying in

“So where will you go for berbuka?” asked a friend.

Admittedly, I don’t really fancy having iftar outside. Over the years I developed the liking of dining at the comfort of our home. This year I have been lucky. My schedule is quiet and thus, I manage to cook almost on daily basis.

Unlike the usual food galore we have back home, ours consists of a main meal and two types of desserts. I try to prepare something special over the weekend or cater to the requests from close friends. So far, we had ayam percik, steamed seabass thai style, pulut kuning and rendang. Weekdays are simpler, with a touch of international fusion.

My next challenge is to make Malaysian delicacies as I don’t think they are hard to do (as texted by one of you). The young lady is looking forward to this experiment. Hmm, I wonder if it turns out well, maybe I can do this as a side income? The going rate for a piece of Malaysian delight is 50p!

Have I gone soft, for just wanting to have iftar at home? I rather host dinner for friends than having our meal outside. I know it is tiring i.e. cooking for a group of people, but probably for just one month, I'd like to stay in.

Somehow I feel the young lady appreciates it too. It reminds me of the saying 'a family that eats together stays together'.

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Lesson from Mraz

.......(still thinking of what to write)......

After almost 24 hours, I still cant manage to pull together my thoughts and let the idea flow. The mind boggles too much (or maybe the heart is trying to say something).

Darn! I hate it when I have no control of myself. I hate of having my words mumbled or tongue twisted. I hate it when I come back from a “hang-out” session singing to myself, raising the eyebrows of people close to me.

Most of all, I hate it when I dont really know what exactly is driving me nuts. The idea of meeting someone at this junction when I know which path I will be taking is just something that I do not foresee. Let alone when the person involved is the most unlikely to have anything in common as the gap is there. Which is bothering me the most, the junction or the gap?

But then again, who does?

Definitely I did not see this coming... Maybe I should stick to spending my time with books. At least when I reach the part which can be overwhelming, I can skip a few chapters.


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A tale of milk and cereal

Somehow I am lacking of ideas to write, probably due to the effect of fasting. I did have one or two posts drafted in my thoughts but it seemed they were not appropriate (it wasnt x-rated mind you). They were just provoking e.g. the marriage institution, the concept of love, of being a muslim etc.

Perhaps I shall write about the young lady's view on fasting.

It's a habit for me to wake up for sahur, even when I stayed on my own at the age of 18. However, instead of the usual rice and dishes (which includes salty egg and dried fish), mine consists of a mug of hot drink and bread. I cant stuff myself too much in the morning but I simply have to eat something, especially back then when the weather was blazing hot and iftar was after 9pm.

It happened a few years ago, I think she just turned 4. I remembered one morning when I prepared for my sahur, the place we lived back then was small (I had a hefty child-care expenses and my earnings was much less than now). I supposed the noise from the kitchen woke the young lady. From the bedroom, I could hear her tiny voice asking for me. I went inside and stroked her to go to sleep but her eyes were saying otherwise. She asked, "what are you doing mummy?"

I explained to her that I was going to eat as I'd be fasting. "May I join you?" she said without hesitation.

It was a weekend and we could sleep in, unlike on a normal working day which meant we needed to be on time to the nursery and my office. So I thought, why not.

So she waited patiently at the dining table while I prepared her milk and cereal. We then sat and enjoyed sahur together. From then onwards, she does her best to keep me company in the morning. Of course this is only allowed on weekends.

Eventually she developed an interest to fast. I only allowed her to do half day when she was five. When she was six, she managed to complete a few days. Perhaps one day I shall share the story with you but for now, I will leave as it is. To me, those moments were precious, having her to join me in the wee hours of the morning.

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Giddy-up horsie

Picture from wiki

The young lady wasn’t in the pink of health for a week but being her, she begged profusely to go to the horse-riding trip on Thursday. I had a dilemma, whether to let her rest at home or proceed as planned. Since her fever was very mild i.e. 37 degrees and her cough had stopped, I decided to let her go (obviously with guilt stuck down in my throat). I told myself that I would deal with the consequences later (but deep down I prayed that everything would turn out ok).

Oh boy! She had loads of fun! She couldn’t stop talking about it from the moment the nanny picked her up until I came home later that evening. Her horse goes by the name of Penny. It wasn’t like the typical slow ride we get at the zoos or funfairs (I told her I rode one when I was about her age during my trip to the National Zoo back home). She described the speed of the ride and her butt hurt because of the galloping. Oh, they had to wear those rider boots. She had to wear a few size bigger as there were none in hers.

“and no mummy, horses dont understand ‘giddy-up horsie’. They wont move if we say that”, she said.

Ok.. mummy learnt something new. *grins*

I supposed the magic of the ponies somehow cured her as she is definitely much better.

Anyway, both of us would like to wish everyone a blessed Ramadan! Someone has started today, no? *winks*

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Bimbo moment

The more evolved we are, the more complex our way of thinking.

I recently purchased a dvd player. The old one, which was by the way integrated with the TV, was not functioning well. It had glitches occasionally. Well, many times I must say that I got bloody irritated. As I was emotionally unstable, I thought it was a good thing to make the purchase (women and hormones. Excuses to get new things).

So the young lady and I enjoyed a few hours of dvd reruns in our living room. The other TV is in my bedroom. The TV in the living room is bigger and err... nicer. The young lady couldnt get enough of the quality of the picture and sound.

However, another glitch occurred. While trying to reconnect to my digital box set, all the channels seemed to have lost. I tried everything I could think of but nothing worked. I thought the problem was due to the main antenna and maybe an indoor stand-alone or reception booster could do the trick.

Obviously I was fuming mad and feeling frustrated, thinking once again on why these things keep occurring.

So I left the problem for awhile. It was best not to think of it and ruin the lovely weekend.

It was only late Sunday evening when I was compelled on putting the dvd player and digital box side-by-side instead of on top of one another. Somehow, miraculously the channels were back.
To even think that I would have spent on those additional costs (indoor antenna, booster, tv technician) for nothing when the solution to my problem was downright simple.

Or perhaps I had one of those bimbo-moments, minus the blonde hair and stilettos.

*Ms B is currently competing with Sneezy, the dwarf in Snow White, blowing her nose like there is no tomorrow. She tries to hide herself from the view of her colleagues, who think she ought to go home and give herself a break.*

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Shake your booty

On a day when I got home early, I managed to catch an episode of this and somehow, I just cant get enough(please mute mixpod before playing the video):





Each time I watch, I can feel every muscle dancing along its tune, mentally speaking of course. I'm sure if I get up and shake my booty, I bet I can hear cracks here and there. I'm reminded of the days when I used to hit the floor for a few hours with the partner-in-crime, surviving on a bottle of water. As she now resides in the Land Down Under, it wont be anytime soon for us to rekindle the passion. Oh I forgot. The young lady has seen some of my moves and is keen to get my groove back, dancing together at a nearby park and totally oblivious of everyone.

Hmm, having an active child does keep you fit (at least it works for me. Why waste on gym’s fees?).

Have a good weekend friends!

Blast from the past

How was your weekend? Except for momster, I hope the rest had a good one. My weekend was awesome. On Saturday, I met a dear friend who went to the same uni. Her first remark was, “your skin looks good”, while poking my face (now I know why kids hate it when people pinch their cheeks). I told her she lost more weight from the last time I saw her (I reckon she's down to size 6), obviously due to workload. She's still a very cool chic and a hot mama of 2. We reminisced the past and she reminded me of what people used to label us, “the outcast”, simply because most of our friends were non-malay. I rather joined the college's chess club than those typical malay societies/clubs, not that I knew how to play one of course. The notion of meeting people from different background and trying to bridge the cultural and language barrier excited me.

Lunch took place in Covent Garden where I devoured a plate of fisherman’s pie. It was late and I was starving. The crowd was huge, typical on a sunny day as Londoners were out enjoying the warm weather. The street performers were happy as it meant they’d get more tips.

The shopping rendezvous planned on Sunday was cancelled as my friend had other errands. Nevertheless, I decided to proceed with the nanny’s arrangement and thought it’d be nice to shop on my own. As I walked into our regular hang-out for brunch, a familiar face appeared. He stood up and said, “I know this person”. I blurted his name out loud and couldn’t believe my luck. He was another buddy of mine back in uni who was here for a few weeks on an assignment.

As he had no plans, we decided to go shopping together at the mall in West End. Gosh, it really felt like the good old days. I cant remember how much fun we had back then. He still looks the same, in fact better I must say. Interesting enough, most of the guys I know who remain in shape or look better as they age are single (and successful). The excuses given were the lack of free time and demanding job.

Anyway, it has been awhile since I last shopped with a guy, or more like trying to help a guy choose his things. It was interesting and funny. We even share the same taste i.e. MD! And no, he is not gay. *lol* Maybe I should nominate him to be the next Cleo’s eligible bachelor.

On another note, I wonder when do we get to see him in a steamy scene *winks*:

Picture from IMDB

The very hungry caterpillar

picture from the telegraph.

The young lady is back to her usual self, chirpy and gutsy. I think it was because they had a trip to the zoo yesterday which made her more adamant to beat the blues. As for me, I am getting there. Thankfully, my work has kept me busy and includes higher responsibilities, preparing things which are usually done by a level above.

But hey, my life is still full of interesting happenings. *winks*

A few days ago, I received the following text (redacted version):
“hi hot hucci mama. Wanna eat me 2nyte?”

Thinking it was a prank (it is very common here), I showed it to a friend who is more of a younger sister to me. She then highlighted that the words used seemed to suggest that the person knew me and the spelling reflected that it was written by someone from her generation. It didn’t take me long to figure it out and my suspicion was right. A few days later, that person confirmed that the text was sent by him.

Ah, perhaps a candy boy was trying his luck, eh?

Age is not a requirement to hang out. However, it seems the younger generation is more direct and persuasive. They have no reservation to say what they really want. However, in my world, even if you look like Nate Archibald or Lucas (ok, maybe I should add Edward Cullen tho I still don’t see his sex appeal), the phrases used are such a turn-off. In addition, the spelling really shows the generation gap. I’d probably consider if tonight was spelt “tonite” instead of “2nyte”.

Why when they were boys, such innocence was portrayed? Yet, the moment they start working, they lose their way and become very itchy caterpillars. An entrance to the working class does not give you the key to unimaginable opportunities. If at the beginning you couldn’t go far, not even a date, what makes you think you can do so now?

Besides, I do not tolerate boys with raging hormones!!!! Get a grip, will you? Geesh!

As one friend said, “it is the role reversal when dating matured women is what makes the forbidden fruit sweeter.”

The caterpillar better finds another forbidden fruit if he does not want to be sprayed with pesticides.
Have a nice weekend friends!

*Ms B is looking forward to another girly weekend. A trip to the cinema tonight to watch Sandra's new film, followed by lunch on Saturday with a girlfriend & her boss who are in town for business meetings. She reckons it is a match-making scheme. She will end her weekend with a shopping rendezvous on Sunday.*

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Hope floats

Picture from foxmovies

Birdee Pruitt: You know, I always thought I was gonna be, I don't know, special. But I'm not. I'm just... I'm just an ordinary person. And that's OK. Because... you make me special. Don't you know that? Don't you know that you're everything in this world to me? And we're gonna make it through this because we are a team. Birdee and Bernice, the coolest chicks in Smithville. So don't you ever think about leaving me again... because I need you. I love you.
Bernice Pruitt: I love you too.

Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will, too...

***************

I never get tired watching this but somehow tonight, I could relate to the story a lot. So many similar scenes.....

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Much needed hot bubble bath

It hasn’t even been a week and yet many dramas unfolded. From preparing a proposal within a short notice to an urgent request for a deal abroad topped by the young lady’s minor accident, it is a surprise that I can still maintain my composure. Calm on the outside, freaking out in the inside. I just had to play my cards right of course. There is no escaping from being away but it is better to be on one with less time abroad or within reasonable distance from home in case of an emergency.

Just when I thought things were getting back to normal, fate decided to add more spices. Less than an hour ago, we had a fire brigade at our home. There was an electrical short circuit and they said it was a good thing that I called when I smelt something burning. Apart from the whole place stinking, it was safe to stay. They managed to control and isolate the trigger.

And no, there weren’t any cute or handsome looking firemen. I think those exist in tv dramas. As for me, I had some sense to change into decent attire. I wouldn’t want to look like the ladies in Desperate Housewives, clad in their sexy lingerie (my passion for this is as good as books and bags).

Before the young lady dozed off (for the second time tonight), she asked, “ were you scared mummy?”

“Yes. How about you?” I said.

“Me too.” She paused for awhile before continuing, “are you going to cry again?” She was referring to last night moment when my emotions were overwhelmed while I changed her bandage. I was quite good at maintaining my coolness since it took place but as like any mom and woman, I felt it reached its limit and let the dam burst.

So do excuse me if I am feeling low at the moment. With the dramas I had so far, I think I deserve to have a bath full of clear salty liquid.

Although I feel it makes more sense to have a hot bubble bath accompanied by The Man (I think I shall stick to Dempsey for this part, judging how he does it), caressing my body and soul with TLC.

Tagged

momster tagged me. I bet n.i. looks forward to this posting. *grins*

1. Bekas kekasih saya adalah:
*mengambil masa yang agak lama untuk berfikir disebabkan ada beberapa orang*

2. Saya sedang mendengar:
pengarah-pengarah sedang berbincang.

3. Mungkin saya patut:
balik ke rumah dan berehat.

4. Saya suka:
Melancong bersama anak saya, terutama sekali ke tempat yang mempunyai banyak peninggalan sejarah.

5. Sahabat-sahabat baik saya:
adalah mereka yang menerima saya dengan seadanya.

6. Saya tak faham:
kenapa orang berbelanja lebih dari kemampuan.

7. Saya kehilangan:
sabar apabila orang bertanya soalan yang sungguh tidak relevan seperti bila anda hendak berumahtangga.

8. Ramai yang berkata:
saya sombong dan tidak mempunyai perasaan.

9. Makna nama saya:
Azam and girang.

10. Cinta itu adalah:
sesuatu yang sukar untuk memiliki dan apabila sudah dijumpai, harus dijaga dengan seikhlas hati.

11. Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang:
sibuk bercerita tentang lawatan ke safari semalam (anak dara saya). Antara haiwan yang dilihat adalah singa bersama 2 teman wanita, ‘antelope’, harimau, monyet, anjing laut, ‘penguin’.

12. Saya akan cuba:
sedaya upaya untuk tidak perlu pergi ke sebuah bandar Eropah berdekatan dengan banjaran gunung Alps untuk selama beberapa minggu atas urusan kerja. *dikemaskini – saya mendapat alternatif lain dan tidak perlu pergi. Gembira sekali*

13. Ayat SELAMANYA membawa maksud
infiniti (perkataan kegemaran anak saya).

14. Telefon bimbit saya:
Ada 3 (1 PDA/Blackberry, 1 kegunaan rasmi dan 1 peribadi). Saya sudah lama tidak membeli telefon kerana syarikat saya membiayainya dan boleh ditukar setiap tahun. Tetapi saya jatuh cinta dengan E63 berwarna merah dan membelinya pada tahun ini.

15. Bila saya terjaga dari tidur:
saya memandang muka anak saya.

16. Saya paling meluat apabila:
orang bertalam dua muka.

17. Pesta/Parti adalah:
sesuatu yang diraikan bersama orang yang bermakna didalam hidup anda dan tidak perlu berlebihan.

18. Haiwan yang paling comel yang saya pernah temui ialah:
koala di Sydney Zoo.

19. Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan bagi saya ialah:
mestilah sekarang kerana saya rasa saya betul-betul menikmati kehidupan, terutama sekali di samping anak saya.

20. Hari ini:
saya rasa amat mengantuk sekali kerana saya hanya dapat tidur 4 jam sahaja semalam.

21. Malam ini saya akan:
Menonton tv.

22. Esok pula saya akan:
Datang ke pejabat walaupun hati saya teringin untuk pergi membeli-belah kerana gaji akan masuk.

23. Saya betul-betul inginkan:
Untuk berhenti kerja dan duduk di rumah menjaga anak saya, sambil membiarkan simpanan saya membuat pulangan yang cukup untuk membiayai kos pembelanjaan kami.

24. Ketika saya lihat wajah saya di hadapan cermin pagi ini:
pedulilah segala jerawat dan kedutan. Saya tidak mempunya masa untuk berfikir semua itu terutama sekali pada hari kerja.

25. Pusat membeli-belah atau arked permainan:
Pusat membeli belah.

26. Makanan Barat atau Jepun:
Barat.

27. Bilik yang terang atau gelap:
Bergantung pada aktiviti, betul tak?

28. Makanan segera adalah:
cepat dan ringkas.

29. Ayat terakhir yang anda katakan pada seseorang?
See you soon honey.

30. Siapa yang anda mahu tag?

inah, Jane, Hunny, Fizzy dan juga sesiapa yang rajin nak buat!

Of half naked men and brand

I always wondered what the fuss of the above clothing was. In fact, when I first passed by one of the shops, I thought it was an exhibition place or studio as the building was somewhere in a back alley and it had a queue in front. When I got closer, I saw a half naked man striking a pose at the porch, confirming my suspicions that it could be a studio which exhibited live models.

It was only much later when I was asked to find such brand by someone (it happens I’m a personal shopper for friends for a mere teh tarik and roti canai as commission) that I realised the place was actually a shop!

As one enters, one cannot help feeling how inadequate he or she is surrounded by gorgeous looking sales assistants. The ladies are tall, slim and slender with hour glass body whilst the blokes have well toned figure. The guys take turns to be a model at the porch, displaying their asset for the benefit of us ladies. Oh, one of the girls will be a photographer using a Polaroid camera and customers are welcomed to take a picture with the bloke.

Interesting eh? *grins* Of course, the young lady wasn’t impressed when she saw that, not when the girls went goo-goo ga-ga to get their hands on the poor chap.

My only reservation about these places is their concept of using very dim lights. I couldn’t see the items and where I was going, especially when they were crowded. Yet, I think the atmosphere helps customers to spend more than necessary as it makes them ten times gorgeous upon trying their clothing. Unfortunately, I have yet to be fooled by the whole thing and still dont understand why people keep flocking.

However, if you need some stress reliever or just to “cuci mata”, feel free to drop by. Just have fun with all those eye candies and if you are bold enough, take a picture with the half naked bloke. I wouldn’t be surprised if women pinch his ass. *lol*

It's raining

It’s raining.
It’s pouring.
The old man is snoring.
He went to bed and bumped his head and couldn’t wake up in the morning.

And so it was. For the past few days, rain seemed to have taken the city, with occasional sunshine which was not enough to keep us jolly and for us be able to wear our frocks without hesitation. Whoever brought back the legging style, I’m sure most of us are thankful to them. The young lady is able to wear her dresses and skirts without feeling chilly. All girls (and women) want to be chic and the legging is definitely a solution during these times.

My routine has been somewhat off. I thought I would have trouble keeping myself occupied but boy was I wrong. Everyday there is something to do or people to meet. I suppose it was a good thing to be staying put. I managed to meet the Godmother, Mrs Dior, the lady with 3 heroes and one heroine (which ended up with ice cream treat for the kids) and a few others.

Thus, the blog was slowly drifting away, tucked in the corner of this mind of mine. I realise I dont have much to write whenever I’m on a break. Obviously I cant be a writer who often takes long holiday in a French chateau or beach villa in a middle of nowhere just to get their creative juice pumping. I suppose the daily (and dull) routine helps my idea to flow better. Or perhaps I perform well while under pressure (yeah right).

Despite the so-called hectic schedule, I still managed to squeeze some shopping time. One book shop was closing down, with 50% discount at a minimum. We came back with two bags of books! An Enid Blyton – The Family Collection book was only £2.50 (was £10).

Ah, I must admit that I have to stay away from MD. I usually end up with something each time I pop in. The last time I went, I grabbed 3 items of clothing. To be fair, they were 70% less, thus a good bargain. I must admit I no longer have the energy to show up at a store at 6am in the morning during sale season. I did that once just to prove to friends that I’ve tried that. *grins* I guess I’m lucky to be able to find something that I like even after the shops had their sales for weeks already, although I dont think it’s a good excuse to be getting an item each time I visit MD. (can you blame me when they are marked down seriously low?)

The sun is out now and I suppose I should take the young lady out for awhile. Perhaps strawberry milkshake might do the trick.

Twilight books

Someone asked about the price of Twilight books. So far, the cheapest collection I managed to find was from WH Smith at £38.40 (was £60). The books are hard cover, thus pricier. (my fellow bloggers/regulars, appreciate your comments here. Feel free to share if you have seen better price).

However, the ones that I got were paperback. The price was £6.99 for two books. I have yet to see paperback version for Breaking dawn. If the remaining two books are bought from the same place, it’d be £12.99 (buy one get one free. The hard cover format is £12.99, paperback £6.99). I think online will be cheaper as seen from here . The total amount will be under £10 for two books, instead of £12.99.

Ok... so the conclusion is, if you buy separately (not the collection as I mentioned in the first para), the total costs for the books if purchase online is £16.98 (excluding delivery charges) and £19.98 if you get them from the store. I am unsure how long does the offer last.

By the way, you might get them cheaper elsewhere e.g. amazon but please take note of the delivery charges. Some may waive if the total costs exceeds certain amount. I hope this helps you, ms anonymous.

Ps: Will reply to comments soon.

Dangerously hot

A few days ago, I came across this article, what's wrong of being selfish?.
There were many things mentioned which I could relate to. Perhaps the article reminded me of the ideas I shared among friends. Most importantly, the highlight of the article was about making choices.

Whether getting married, remain single, having children or not, work or being a SAHM, all of which we are entitled to. Yet why do we keep getting criticised for the choices we make?

Worse of all, the ones who love to criticise are females. Sigh… If you must know, your comments don’t fall under constructive feedback. It just reflects how narrow your world must be.

I have worked with a few (giant) companies and more often than not, I see that the ones who dampen our spirit are ladies. Men don’t care whether you are married or with kids, as long as you deliver, you get the recognition. It is often the female bosses who are harder to please.

Now, back to the choices, why is it difficult for people to understand for being single? There is nothing wrong for setting the bars high or wanting the right man (note right, not perfect. Those only exist in movies or fairy tales). As for enjoying the honeymoon period longer ie postponing pregnancy, it probably helps to bond a couple stronger. You get to do more adventurous or wild things now (hey, there is no limit once you tie the knot). As for the number of kids, why on earth should this matter? Seriously! Some of us enjoy having the quality of life with our loved ones. Perhaps some are wise to know the rising cost of living, in particular, education. Thus, having two kids suffice, unless you are one those who think scholarship continue to exist by the time your kids reach university.

So to those who are having a hard time, don’t let them get their way. It gives them pleasure when they find you irritated by the comments. Be happy with the choices we make.

Life isn't one size fits all -- different things make our lives fulfilling.

On another note, I think werewolf is kinda hot. I wonder when the new movie comes out, I will scream like those teenagers when they make their appearance (as mentioned by IDB). Jake sounds deliciously sexy but based on the picture, somehow I want Paul more. *grins* Hang on, is it legal to fantasise boys?

Picture taken from eonline.