Monday, December 28, 2009

The price of guilt

I was expecting myself to be queuing for hours on Boxing day to get the Devil’s handbag and shoes and of course, MD’s attire after. Alas my dream was crushed on Xmas eve. All of a sudden, a bug hit me and less than 24 hours I was forced to be bedridden. This lasted for a few days. I couldn’t even leave the bed without seeing black polka dots.

Hmm, I wonder why the mind decided to see so. It would have been nicer if it was twinkling stars or flying pixies.

The temperature finally dropped today but I still feel weak. The young lady has been putting a brave face. Occasionally I could see she cried silently, hoping her mummy to get better. She quickly wiped her tears before she got into the room, thinking that her mum wouldn’t notice her worry.

Why do kids think they can fool their mums, eh? They should know that we have radar for these things. *grins*

Anyway, as I was feeling guilty, I asked the nanny to take her out. Naturally the young lady refused to leave me home alone but I told her that she needed to check if mummy’s favourite DVD is out. It was a distraction of course.

When she got home, she was smiling from ear to ear. She got herself a new DS game. It was a small price to pay for a girl who had to go through emotional stress.

As for me, my purse was spared. I supposed it was not meant for me to spend this year. Perhaps next time yeah. *winks*

*Ms B will take a few days off to recuperate. She hopes she has enough entertainment at home to keep her sane

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The weather outside is frightful

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

Christmas came early with the presence of white snowflakes in the middle of last week. By Friday, it was thick enough to disrupt the commute of the average Londoners i.e. those who live outside the city. Some of my colleagues decided to work from home, leaving those who had no excuse to do so to run business as usual. I reckoned it was just a reason to do last minute gift shopping.

I am looking forward to the long break but I still have a few days to go before my holiday. Hopefully it’ll be a quiet one at work but there is still a slight chance of hard labour. A few of my friends are coming over, one of whom I haven’t seen for a decade. The Bangkok lady and I took the same course back in uni and we were study-mates (amongst other things of course! *grins*). We either hanged out at our department’s library or the national one in the city. When we weren’t busy revising, which by the way was three quarters of the year, we went to the beach for their famous milkshake/coffee, the riverside for its Sunday market or a nearby town for its factory outlets.

The good old days....

Anyway, Love Actually was on telly last night. I love the movie, especially on the boy’s crush on his lead singer, leading him to dash airport security and bid farewell to the girl. I’m sure every one of us wishes for that moment, or had one and cherishes it till this day.

Until then, let’s enjoy those non-stop romance movies and not worry about the freezing weather outside. Keep warm dear friends.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Are you a wild thing?

Before I embarked on my journey to the west a few years ago, I was warned that the City could be depressing. The suicidal rates were high and in fact, this friend of mine knew someone who ended his own life while working here. I was unsure the factor of such but I was told that the weather was partly to blame. Apparently the likelihood of this happening was higher during this time of the year.

Yet minus the weather, December is always a month where most people are on their happy mode. In fact, one hardly has time to feel depressed as there are always Christmas lunches or dinners to go to or gifts to find. For us parents, we’ll be busy preparing for our kid’s school play which also includes enduring to their non-stop practising of the songs and script. Last Friday the nanny had a shock when the young lady said she had nine homework which was more than what she normally gets. It turned out to be nine songs for her play!

Even for us who don’t celebrate it, we look forward to the month as the majority of us are in holiday mood. Last week, there were only one third left in my department. Some even took the opportunity to have long lunches, a rare at my workplace. We usually grab a sandwich or a cup of soup and eat at our desk for a mere 15-20 minutes.

The best part of the month is not Christmas but Boxing Day when the much anticipated sales begin. It is when people will queue for hours and brace themselves for freezing weather just to get desired items which are on sale at 50 per cent off. Occasionally things may go ugly especially when two women want to get the same item. I suppose the sale season does bring out a wild thing out of us. *grins*

Speaking of wild things, the young lady has asked for a trip to the cinema to catch the latest movie, a story based on Maurice Sendak’s book. We didn’t have time this week due to commitments but I am hoping next week we can slot something. I trust her judgment and often, it’d be me enjoying the movie more than she does. Besides, I dont have much choice since the only movies we can watch should be rated PG or U.

Inside all of us is
everything you've seen
everything you've done
everything you've ever loved
There is one in all of us

Inside all of us is hope
Inside all of us is fear
Inside all of us is adventure
Inside all of us is a wild thing

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

The last month of the year

It’s that time of the year where one starts to reflect on one’s journey and milestones given that there were some goals laid at the beginning of the year. I’m sure most of us had something set in their mind, tangible or not. It may include a better job or for some people, any job will do, a new handbag or a pair of shoes, to save more money for early retirement (as if that will ever happen. It’s hard to kick out the workaholic habit), to loose or gain weight (failed miserably!), to revamp one’s wardrobe (must watch Devil wears Prada again), the list can go endlessly.

The only reason I am writing this is because I may go bonkers for staying home for another day. My hands are tempted to switch on the office’s laptop and check my emails but I know it will not be good for my health. I ran out of dvds (box set!) and did the laundry, so I’m left with no choice but to ramble on this topic.

If I recall correctly, I didn’t have any solid resolutions. There was nothing in particular that I wanted. At that point in life, I had almost what other people wished for; a caring, thoughtful and lovely daughter who picks me up without fail, a good-paying career which allows me to juggle my life as a single parent in a foreign land and includes a lifestyle of holiday, handbags and shoes (esp when the young lady is into trend), a handful of good friends who simply let me be me.

In a nutshell, I was content. I was grateful with the things that the One Above bestowed on me. With no set goals in mind, I simply allowed the journey to run its course and I was the passenger, enjoying the view.

Little did I know that it would take me to surprising places.

About a year ago, I decided to make a wish on my birthday for the sake of tradition. As I mentioned, you never know when the fairies would eavesdrop. I suppose they did as it was granted.

I wished for love.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Zombie bride

For over a week I disconnected myself from the outside world. Well, not entirely true. I just detached myself from blogosphere, emails and anything that fell under the same category. Some knew the reason for my absence and probably would do the same if they were in my shoes. When you are aware you have limited time with your loved ones, you’ll want to spend every single minute with them. If it meant cutting down time for myself and spend more with my loved ones, why not?

Although I was a bit crushed when I could not watch New Moon, no matter how much I emphasised on the sexy vampires and hot werewolves. I should have told that there were beautiful girls then perhaps a trip to the cinema was possible.

At least I was guaranteed home-cooked meals every day. I suppose it was a fair trade and it was nice to be pampered. I should have had that in the prenup.

Anyway, another glitch occurred a few days ago. I am currently under the weather and the past few nights have been a struggle. Thankfully the persistent cough only occur night time, thus I am able to continue doing my daily routine. However, I must say the lack of sleep (we are talking max of 3-4 hours every day!) has resulted me feeling like a zombie. I hope my current state as shown below is only temporary:

I am praying hard for a decent sleep tonight. Bonne nuit!