Monday, December 31, 2007

Farewell 2007

I’ve been occupied these days. Being a SAHM is really hard work. *winks* Anyway, I told myself to make sure that I make one last posting for 2007.

I hope you had a good year. Some of you had a rough time. D with the loss of her husband, Simah with the loss of her baba. One went MIA for a while until we blogged him to reappear (Uncle Lee). Some became more independent (monster mom without a maid. *smiles*) and some had a few butterflies in the stomach moments (sweet Fizzy). One became a successful sales person (Kak Teh promoting her hubby’s book). Last but not least, dear Ruby for maintaining her vogue throughout the year.

As for me, I think (and I hope) I have become calmer and positive about life. There were many fairytales moments that came true. The presence of Mr Milan who is now a dear friend, together with his PA and chauffer; the meeting with Mr Big which brought me back to memory lane. It was a nice moment to be reminded of being a woman, being all girly inside.

Most importantly, I learn that love has no boundary. I have less expectation when it comes to relationship. At the same time, I have to think what’s best for my lil girl. All I can do is pray and hope that things will go well.

I would like to share this lovely message sent by Ms CFO:

Sweet words are easy to say. Sweet things are easy to buy. But sweet people are difficult to find. Life ends when we stop breathing. Hope ends when we stop believing. Friendship ends when you stop sharing. To love without condition... to talk without intention... to give without reason...and to care without expectation.

Happy new year everyone!

Friday, December 28, 2007

So close...

You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

How does she know you love her?

If you have a daughter, or if you just want to feel like a girl again, I recommend you to watch this movie. Every girl, even when she gets older and wiser, still hopes for her fairy tale and dreams to come true.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Alpha female

This is dedicated to all my hard-working female readers.

Do you sometimes feel that life is unfair? That some people get things easily. You study hard, graduated from world class institution, work yourself to climb the ladder, do it the right way. Yet somehow, you feel you are not "there" yet.

At times, you are surrounded by people who didnt study much nor work hard, engage into immoral activities etc. Classic example, during your student years, you have friends who are proud of being the candy girls to support their lavish lifestyle. They had the house, car (some even had driver!) and pocket money equivalent to graduate's earnings. Now, 10 years down the road, these girls are still having a good life, (materially) while you are still trying to make you first break (ok, so maybe you are earning above average). Still, you are working your ass to get the right recognition and provide a better life for yourself (to some, to your children).

But then again, come to think of it, these people are still either candy girls, long-term mistress or those who are lucky enough, wife. Yet, what is a marriage if, assume you are the only wife, your hubby has sleeping partners but you are staying in the marriage to sustain your lifestyle or, be the hidden second/third wife and never be acknowledged? Do you reckon these people are actually happy?

We all know that this is still a man's world and we try to make a difference. Like in one of the CSI's episodes:

Lady Heather: Well, you should. It's just about knowing yourself, being strong and not taking any crap from powerful jerks who are used to giving it all day long.
Catherine: Well, death is still a man's business and I don't have to tell you about police work.
Lady Heather: So, how do you survive?
Catherine: By knowing myself and working hard...and by not taking any crap
from powerful jerks who are used to giving it all day long.

So there you go ladies, dont take the crap from ANYONE! Believe in yourself and God's will, you will get your break, your own way. When you do, dont forget your loved ones (in my case, it'll be the luxury holiday for my 3 girls; mini ms istanbul and 2 best friends).

ps: This is a reminder to myself. The one has been telling me that I'm doing a great job as a woman and a mom. I just needed a slap (virtually). So yes, I am happy. *smiles*

Saturday, December 15, 2007


I was tagged by Ruby so here's my bit:

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night. Mini Ms Istanbul

2. What were you doing at 0800? Sleeping (it’s Saturday!)

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Talked over the phone with Dragon Lady from the land down under.

4. What happened to you in 2006? Travelled with mini MI to a few places, just the two of us

5. What was the last thing you said out loud? Bye (to Iron Lady).

6. How many beverages did you have today? Teh tarik and water.

7. What color is your hairbrush? Blue

8. What was the last thing you paid for? My dinner last night.

9. Where were you last night? Dinner outside, then home.

10. What color is your front door? Beige

11. Where do you keep your change? Purse.

12. What’s the weather like today? Freezing.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? Chocolate fudge.

14. What excites you? Thinking of him *winks*

15. Do you want to cut your hair? YES!!!

16. Are you over the age of 25? Of course.

17. Do you talk a lot? Sometimes but usually I’m a listener.

18. Do you watch the O.C.? Used to.

19. Do you know anyone named Steven? My colleague.

20. Do you make up your own words? YES (when you have kids of your own, you will have to make up words).

21. Are you a jealous person? Depends.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’. CB (his name starts with A)

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’. Richard Gere (that’s how I address him with Alchemist and Dragon Lady).

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list? Dragon lady.

25. What does the last text message you received say? Thank you.

26. Do you chew on your straw? Nope

27. Do you have curly hair? Depends on the weather.

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to? Coffee later with mini MI.

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life? Cant remember.

30. What was the last thing you ate? Nasi lemak with rendang (coconut rice).

31. Will you get married in the future? *sceptical*

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks? The Golden Compass

33. Is there anyone you like right now? Yes.

34. When was the last time you did the dishes? Last night.

35. Are you currently depressed? On the scale to 10, mine is 2.

36. Did you cry today? Nope.

37. Why did you answer and post this? Ruby tagged me.

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey. Fizzy, monster mom, D, kak teh, uncle lee.

To Dragon lady, sorry I didnt mention you about my blog before. Have fun reading yeah! Miss you like nuts.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Being "rich"

I realise I havent been writing these days. I had limited time to myself. Work has been demanding and my spare time has been allocated to the lil one. Not to mention that my mind has been occupied by provoking questions.

Before I continue with my ramblings, best friend just texted me that she’s a qualified SAP (she is already a qualified accountant!). I’m so happy for her (and I’m sure she’s going to whack me for telling the whole world that she passed her exam). So dear, are you going to get an increment for passing that paper? They should give you a pay rise. If that fails, you can always send your CV around (SAP people get paid a lot from what I hear).

On another note, I’m getting extra attention these days. I got “sorry for making your life miserable these days” gifts from the one; a book which I just finished reading about 10 mins ago and a high tech gadget. Being practical, I returned the latter cos I don’t use it nor will I have the time to do so. He reckons I should change for another gift. I am being spoilt. Not just me, but also the lil one. He has been searching for her “wish list” but there was none in stock! Knowing that he took the time to search for her gift makes me happy.

Back to the happiness topic, we keep on thinking that people who appear better physically, are happy inside. These include having the ideal family, high-flying career, etc. Just because they look better, it doesn’t mean that they are happier.
It’s like this conversation which I had with my girl. One day, we somehow walked past to a familiar area and my girl popped this question, “do you remember when we were poor, mummy?”

I was surprised by her question, as well as her selection of words.

“Yes. Why? Were you sad?”


“Why were you sad before?”

“Because we lived in a small place.”

“Well, it was a small place but remember, we always had each other. Some children live in a big house but they don’t get to see their mommy or daddy because they are too busy. So do you want to have a big house and not see me, or do you want to live in a small house and you see me everyday, do things together?”

“I want to see you everyday mummy.”

“So, were you sad when we live in that old house?”

“No mummy.” With a smile on her face.

I hope she understands that being together is more important than being “rich”. Sometimes I ask myself why did I even bother to move to a bigger place as we spend most of our time in my room! She is still my teddy bear and I’m not sure when I will let her sleep in her own room. Before she does so, I better enjoy having my teddy bear in my bed.

Good night dear friends.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007


Those looking for happiness often don't realize they already have it. It's a lesson that he says he was lucky to learn at age 18 from a spiritual teacher. "He said, 'Look, actually, Robert, you're already happy.' And I said, 'Well, that's great, but I don't feel it. So tell me, what do I have to do?'" Dr. Holden recalls. "And he said, 'You have to understand that the pursuit of happiness is a mistake. It's like, you don't chase happiness out there. You learn that you're happy inside you and then you go running. Then you go into the world.'"

The key to being happy is overcoming "destination addiction," which he defines as "living in the not-now."

"It's always about tomorrow, so you're chasing 'more,' 'next' and 'there,'" he says. "You promise yourself that when you get there, you'll be happy. And I promise you, you won't, because you'll always set another destination to go for."

Instead, Dr. Holden says if you are unhappy with your life, there are two things you can do. "We have to learn to let go of our past, we have to give up all hopes for a perfect past. Let the past go, it's gone." After that, he says, "Take a vow of kindness. Be kinder to yourself and to others.

"It's never too late to be happy," he says.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Hold you in arms

Hold you in my arms - Ray LaMontagne
When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears
It was easy to see that you'd been crying
Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns
But who really profits from the dying
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you in my arms forever

When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions
It's my worried mind that you quiet
Place your hands on my face
Close my eyes and say
Love is a poor man's food
Don't prophesize
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever

So now we see how it is
This fist begets the spear
Weapons of war
Symptoms of madness
Don't let your eyes refuse to see
Don't let your ears refuse to hear
Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold on forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold forever

"Sometimes I am afraid of losing you."
Thank you for making me feel that I am that woman. Thank you for making me feel that losing me will mean a great loss to you. Thank you for acknowledging my presence and how important I am in your life.

You are my Zahir...always have and always be.