Wednesday, December 31, 2008

La Ville-Lumière

The City of Lights, Paris. That’s where we were over the long weekend. Only for a day though. We spent three days at Marne-La-Vallée or commonly known as Disneyland Resort Paris. It takes only 35 minutes by rail from there to Paris city and costs only €13 for an adult daily ticket, covering 5 zones (including the metro in the City).

The architecture in Paris reflects attention to detail. You know you are in Paris just by looking at their windows. It makes me realized how fussy some of my British friends and colleagues can be on getting a Victorian style house. The Europeans are proud of their history, as seen on how they preserve the old designs.

Anyway, I’m sure you can read more about the city elsewhere. Personally, part of me feels that the city is a bit ghetto (is that right?). Their metro reminds me of New York. Not that I have been there but from what I can see in CSI NY, it has some resemblance. The people are carefree or perhaps, unruly. On that day alone, I’ve witnessed at least three people jumping over the ticket barrier gates in the metro. Blimey!

As for Disneyland, it’s a magical place. *smiles* Despite the freezing weather (at one point, the temperature dropped to minus 7 degrees. The ponds froze and the Skull Cave had icicles.), we had a great time. The shows, especially the ones held just for Xmas and New Year, were awesome. I think we covered all the special performances and parades, whilst the routine shows, only missed two. We also managed to get on more rides this time, tho we made sure that the waiting time was 15 minutes or less. Our toes would be numb by then, hence the cut-off time.

I thought we would come back to a warmer place but oh boy, how wrong we were. It seems that the freezing weather followed us back to London. However, it didn’t stop us from shopping. What do you expect? It’s Boxing Day sales and discounts were up to 70% (sometimes, up to 90%)! *grins*

It was definitely a well deserved break for both of us; the trip to Paris and shopping spree. Now I need to get a book shelf as Mini B got herself more books. We couldn’t resist good books, especially when they were selling 1/3 of their original price. Oh, I behaved. No handbags (thank God!).

I hope it is not too late to wish everyone Salam Maal Hijrah. Both of us would like to wish everyone Happy New Year! We would probably be in bed on NY eve, making sure the duvet keeps us warm. Perhaps we shall try to keep ourselves awake with a mug of hot chocolate. (yeah right?!?)

It also means that I'll be a year older next month. I wasn't planning to celebrate as most of my close friends have gone back for good (in the past, it was more for our kids to sing birthday song and have cakes). Mini B is still trying to get me to have a party but I reckon it is just an excuse for her to dress up. She's such a girl. *smiles*

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Revisiting 2008

"The ties that bind us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic; Because some ties are simply... meant to be."

It is about a week before we say goodbye to 2008. The year has taught me a lot on relationships; friends, family, love. *chuckles on the last bit* Looking back, I think the subject that was revisited most was friendship.

There were moments that the subject was tested. A friend told me that over the years, we change as a result of our circumstances and sometimes, we could not connect to the people we were close to before. Unless they are a part of our present life, they can’t appreciate on the things that we go through.

I have also learnt that we have friends and acquaintances. I may know you in the past but you may not belong in the first group. I make no apology for wanting to be cautious when people from the past try to be reacquainted with me. As I replied to someone, once bitten twice shy. We never know the people we claim as friends are more than capable to throw us down, literally speaking. Perhaps it is also a reason why I stay away from Facebook. *LOL* I know it is a lame excuse but I think friendship is too precious to be declared to the whole wide world. I rather have my friends text, call or email (not forwarded emails of course! By the way, I usually delete them without reading).

I fail to understand the need for some people to think they have the luxury to criticise others when they don’t like to be criticised. Just because a person appears different, what gives us the right to comment on the way they look? Does that define their happiness? More often I see people who have them all; beauty, fame, wealth; seem to be lacking of that area. From a friend’s observation, some people may have lost the perfect look that they had but somehow they appear content with life.

I believe in the importance of being in a company of positive minded people. A good friend should have no problem to tell us that what we are doing is wrong. It keeps us grounded. Just as my friends and I tell each other we are yummy mummy or hot babes, we would tell each other idiots if we do something berserk.

Then, there are binds that we could not explain. I have friends for decades and probably see them once in a few years. Yet, we try our best to keep in touch and these days it seems I am able to call them more often than before (and I hope they are not bored yet with my constant phone calls.*grins*). Somehow, despite the time and distance, the moment we meet and catch up, it feels we pick up just where we left. I hope the ties that bind us remain strong.

I will be taking a long leave and as much as I hope to write before the year ends, past experience indicates that I usually don’t when I become a SAHM. Mini B takes most of my time (shopping, coffee, cooking etc). I would like to take this opportunity to wish you happy holidays. Make the most of the remaining days of 2008.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

What do you wish for?

Christmas is just around the corner. We decided to go to The Shopping Mall of the West End. We didn’t have anything planned for the day and I thought to check out the new place. The crowd was manageable. The lil one felt it reminded her of the malls back home. We went in and out of shops, trying to find a pair of boots for me but as always, we always find things that we want and not that we need. I found a few very nice pairs of shoes. It was very tempting to grab them but guilt consumed me, thus I managed to control those urges. Perhaps it could be the reason why I can’t sleep tonight as the image of the shoes keeps appearing. Hopefully I won’t dream of them.

I know it is not easy to prioritise our shopping list. The way we handle the list will usually correlate with our circumstances; students, working persons, singles, couples, parents etc. It is expected for grown-ups to have that thinking.

Yet, to see the same process is applied by my girl touches me. After all, she is a child who has many things in her wish list. She hardly asks for anything, even when we are in a shop full of fancy toys. All she’d do is to have a look and explore. The exception is books, whereby if she likes something, there is no need for her to ask. I will get them as I know she never gets bored.

I also realise how much she appreciates other things in life. Just the other day she had her school play and she knew I’d be coming along. She didn’t expect to see her “sisters” to be there. It really made her day. She was smiling and full of cheerful vibes for the whole day.

For this Christmas, I know what she is wishing for. I am sure that will make her happy. As for me, I suppose Christmas came early with the presence of good friends and warm thoughts from loved ones afar.

So what do you wish for?

Monday, December 15, 2008

Forgive yourself

I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.'

If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that.

The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.

-- Maya Angelou --

It takes courage to ask for forgiveness. We try to be a good person but as human, we sometimes make mistakes. We then ask for forgiveness, whether or not the person will accept our apology. The idea of forgiveness is not only to acknowledge that we have done an error, but also to give peace to ourselves. If we hold on to our past, we can never move on.

Similarly, we don’t have to wait for the person to apologize for their mistake. It is easier to forgive without being asked.

Just by taking the step to say that you are sorry, you have become a better person than before. Even if they choose not to accept, the least you can do is to forgive yourself.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Men - vinegar or vintage?

“Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.”

When we are in our 20s, I reckon most of us will never consider going out with guys who are more than a decade older than us. In fact, I’d think again if the age gap is more than five years.

Then we reach our 30s and somehow, the idea of dating older men seems not bad at all. In fact, it is probably because by then we have more things in common to talk about. When we are at our peak of climbing the corporate world, who would be the best person to give advice other than those who have been there before? Our taste in arts and entertainment slowly shifts and merges closely with men in this age group. Also, by then our topic of discussion starts to revolve around bigger life issues (instead of handbags and shoes).

Some people think that middle aged men have nothing in common with women who are almost half of their age, hence they criticise. Who are we to judge on maturity? I have seen men who act like boys with no sense of responsibilities. At the same time, some girls have the maturity twice of their age as a result of life experiences. Sometimes love can be nurtured, with patience and respect. The qualities are usually found in fine men.

Some women hesitate to go out with these men even when they are eligible with great personality as they are concerned of what people might think. As one of you highlighted, happiness is subjective. Besides, what is there to talk about when the guy has no strings attached? I am only wary of men who claim to have mid life crisis (tell me why is this only applies to men? I have yet to hear women with similar issues). These men never seem to stop at one. As a guy once mentioned, “it’s no longer mid life crisis. That’s considered as perpetuity.” *LOL*

Anyway, don’t you want to go out with them if they fall under the most eligible bachelor with personality one can only dream of? If a single middle aged man looks like below, I’d gladly put on that red cocktail dress and accept a date. *winks* Well, I think he’s hot, thus explains why I rather spend my Friday nights at home and watch him.

- Gibbs in NCIS -

Friday, December 12, 2008

Is he yours?

Booth: Caroline went through a lot of trouble to get you private visitation with your father and now you don't want it.
Bones: The Federal Detention facility already has visiting areas.
Booth: Yeah, behind two inch glass, I mean, now you'll be able to give your old man, you know, a hug. (He hugs her from the side as they are walking)
Bones: I didn't ask for special treatment, Booth.
Booth: That's because you don't have to, because you are special.

My arms and thighs are sore. As much as I’d like to claim that it was due to an activity which had elements of kinkiness and sexiness, I have to disappoint you. They are in pain as a result of me taking care of my director’s baby. She had nanny crisis and took her son to work as she couldn’t reschedule her meetings. The boy somehow clicked with me instantly and since I wasn’t that busy, I looked after him while my director attended her matter. He is HUGE for his age! When I whisked him off to my director’s room, a colleague of mine said how natural I was with the baby. I replied by saying, “I should as I have one myself.” My colleague had a blank face and he wasn’t the only one. My secretary later told that some people asked if I indeed have a child.

One of the things that my senior MD shared during my interview was how she managed to climb the corporate ladder and juggling her life as a mother. She kept them separate and information was shared on need to know basis. People should judge you by how you perform. At least you know that whatever rating you get, you are benchmarked against your peers and assumed to have similar circumstances.

Anyway, back to this other director. When she came back from her meetings, she poured her heart out and thanked me for managing her son well. It kept her mind at peace and she could focus on her tasks. I understand where she was coming from. At present, her partner is away on business trip and she just couldn’t imagine how I manage. I said I have the support from people around me; friends, nannies, etc. It felt weird to be comforting and advising your superiors when usually they are the ones who play that role.

So that was another highlight for the week, being the nanny while at work. *grins* Tho someone asked if he was my child and that my partner must be really white that the boy has no Asian looks at all. *LOL* Mini B wasn’t that pleased knowing I spent the day with him. “I thought I am your only baby”, she said.

Yet she keeps asking me for a baby. Hmmmm.....

Tuesday, December 09, 2008


We enter the world alone and we leave it alone and everything that happens in between we owe it to ourselves to find a little company. We need help, we need support, otherwise we are in it by ourselves. Strangers, cut off from each other, and we forget, just how connected we all are. So instead, we choose love, we choose life, and, for a moment, we feel just a little bit less alone.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend today. We talked about life as a single woman. We agreed that it has some perks. It is not that we are discounting the life of a married person. It is just that for some of us, being single give us more flexibility to do things. As we are both close to family and love hanging out with friends, we can spend more time with them with less guilt or no question asked.

Undoubtedly, some of us prefer to remain solo due to responsibility such as taking care of family members. In these circumstances, it applies to both genders. I have seen a few men who choose to lead a life without a partner as they put their loved ones first. Factors include ageing parents, dependent siblings or being the sole breadwinner for the family.

Then you have people like me who choose to be single again as we put our children’s needs above ours. My whole life is about the lil one and her needs are my priority. It gives me joy to be able to be a part of her life, to see her growing up, to watch her school performances (and make sure that my secretary blocks my diary for her school’s events) etc.

My friend said perhaps our status works best for our situation. No two persons are the same. We could relate how a friend has a wonderful partner who shares her values and interests. We reckon that until we meet someone who understands and accepts us for who we are, we are doing fine with the way things are.

Strange enough, sometimes I feel I already have that person, touching my life in a way he possibly can. My eid was special this year as I had a good friend to spend it with.

Thursday, December 04, 2008


A willingness to make sacrifices in our lives in order to stay on the Straight Path. Each of us makes small sacrifices, giving up things that are fun or important to us. A true Muslim, one who submits his or herself completely to the Lord, is willing to follow Allah's commands completely and obediently. It is this strength of heart, purity in faith, and willing obedience that our Lord desires from us.

I am grateful to be given the opportunity to be here, especially with the current state of the economy. I could see how it benefits the lil one. She has transformed from a fragile and timid little girl to this confident young lady. She has achieved a lot for her age and for this year school play, she’s going to be the narrator. Apparently it is a big part but mummy dearest was a bit clueless until she stressed out the importance of the role.

Knowing that I am considered as an asset means that I should maximise this opportunity. I shall continue staying here and contribute as much as I can. I understand that it also means we have to sacrifice other aspects in life. For both of us, it is being away from our loved ones; family and friends.

Yet, knowing the sacrifices that some of my friends have to make, mine is nothing. If our heart and mind is at the right path, somehow things will be ok.

Salam aidil adha from both of us. May you have a blessed eid.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Crazy rumors

I have never tried this lip balm before but the name and description sounds ironic. *winks*

Rumour has it that something bad happened to me today. Some people saw me kept going to the toilet and thought something must have made me upset. I suppose it was as it prompted a director to approach me and asked if everything was ok.

I blame it on the curry that I had during lunch and the annoying zits on my forehead when I need to look gorgeous for my date tomorrow. I reckon the latter made me checked the mirror at the loo often and tried to minimise the damage. My director laughed and said how people simply love to speculate.

Now, if I show up at work on Friday with a glow on my face, will that mean people think that I may have gotten lucky the night before (since some know that I have a date)? Or better, the big O? *lol* *evil thoughts*

Ah, perhaps I shall leave them guessing. Too many depressing news in the market that I think I should make the department livelier with my almost non-existence love life.

Right, about these zits. *mulling over on how to make it less annoying*

Monday, December 01, 2008

We are not together, are we?

picture taken from Elizabethtown
Claire Colburn: You know, you’re always trying to break up with me, and we're not even together.
Drew Baylor: I know... We're not?

What would you do when you realise you have a crush on someone and that person happens to be a good friend? Do you keep your feelings hidden for the sake of friendship, or would you take the risk and finally let that person know how you truly feel for him/her?

There are moments in our life that we’d meet someone and instantly feel connected to them. Somehow the chemistry seems right and we’d end up being good friends. Yet the same chemistry could also lead to falling in love and some only realise after years of knowing each other.

Why is it easier for us to profess our feelings to a person we’ve only met, say for a few months, than to a person who has known us for our lifetime? Could it be of the idea of familiarity? Is it because we have known each other inside out that make us hesitate to let our feelings known? Or perhaps the idea of rejection should the feelings is not mutual? What will we lose should that happen? I suppose it is our friendship that has been built over the years. The rejection will somehow affect the relationship and to go back where we left before will probably be awkward.

Yet, if that person is really worth it, surely we should take the risk. After all, what is more worst, to be rejected and impair the friendship which could probably be repaired after a few months of reconciliation between two good friends, or to not know what would have been if we had taken the risk?

There is nothing worse than missing an opportunity that could probably lead to a lifelong happiness.

*Ms B hopes this answers another question posed. She reckons it could be a quiet week due to work commitment. She will continue blog hopping for stress reliever.*

Thursday, November 27, 2008


Dear Ms B,

Someone advised me that I need to change my appearance in order to get the attention from the opposite sex. It is a fair comment but the thing is, I don't even know how or where to start.

Can you please help me out here?

Disclaimer, this Jane is not our Blogger Jane. I've been asked on this topic for a few times. I thought it'd a good idea to write about this as I believe my friends here are more experienced and knowledgeable than me.

First of all, I don't believe you should change the way you look because of other people. If you want to do it, make sure it is for the right reason. Do it because you want to feel good about yourself and not about impressing others.

Second, baby steps. If you are like me who wear jeans, top and trainers throughout her entire life, you might want to try something easy. Perhaps a dab of lip gloss and basic powder. Try one of those all-in-one face bases. The whole thing will only take you about 2 minutes max.

As for your attire, maintain what you like and what makes you comfortable. There is no point wearing that gorgeous dress if you keep on thinking and checking to avoid any wardrobe malfunction. Instead, maybe you could try different colors and cutting. The next time you hit the stores, take a top in 2 to 3 colors and try it on. With the right tone and cutting, you will get the look that you wish for. I notice that if we try something bold (e.g. red), it somehow gives a boost to our confidence level.

Not forgetting the importance of color coordination. Just use whatever you have in your current collection and try mix and match accordingly. For those who don the scarf, it is easier to look appealing as what I notice. Most of my close friends wear them and oh my, they look lovely. The right kind of scarf does wonders to how a person looks.

You might have heard KISS but for the purpose of this posting, keep it simple and sweet. *winks*

Baby steps steps.

I am not a fashionista so any tips from my yummilicious bloggers and readers are much appreciated. *begging them with a sweet smile*

*Ms B is smitten yet unsure what caused her so. She needs to mull over the subject.*

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~ Albert Schweitzer

Please accept my heartfelt thanks for your wise and kind words. Just when I thought I should give up the idea of writing, your words have encouraged me to continue. As I look back at the times when I had my rough days and poured my heart out here, it was you who gave your time to read and lifted my spirits up despite not knowing who I was (and still am to most).

Thank you to my lovely blogger friends and silent good-hearted readers. Thank you for giving me that spark. I hope I have touched your life in a way I could possibly have just like what you have done for me.

*Ms B apologises for this short entry as she is down with a bug. She just wanted to tell how much she was moved by the words received. She hopes she gets a good night sleep and dreams of a juicy topic to be posted next.*

Monday, November 24, 2008


Brennan: Wait, you said that in books you could find the real world version.
Booth: Yeah, well, I mean, if you know you, it's pretty obvious.
Brennan: Well, give me an example.
Booth: Ok. Well, in your book, your partner is a former Olympic boxer who graduated from Harvard and spoke six different languages. In real life, you've got me.
Brennan: So what you're saying is that reality falls far, far short of fictional.
Booth: Yeah, thanks a lot, Bones.

I blog because of I love writing. I suppose it is something that I have in common with my mother. She is good with literature, at par with Kak Teh I reckon. I am nowhere like my mother or in blog's world, Kak Teh, D, NJ or Pugly. They write extremely well and I love their selection of words.

I may not be as good or as "femes" (copyright from Kak Teh) as them, but hey, it doesn't stop me from writing. I love keeping my readers entertained, even if it requires me to do some research despite having a corporate jet-setting career (courtesy from NJ) and being a single parent. Some are my own recollections and as every writer, we have to squeeze our creative juice so that the readers have a feel of the story.

So if you read my blog and think that my real life is far short from what I write, then just stop coming! Besides, I thought in blogosphere, one is entitled to each opinion. As a dear friend said, "some people have this PhD attitude." (no offence to D, Inah or LilHappyMe. She wasn't referring to the doctorate certificate. *winks*).

Instead of spending time here, why dont you do yourself a favour by doing something more beneficial such as reading self help books or related to your job, taking a course or whatever. Besides, as I always say to others:


*Ms B is thankful that she has selective amnesia. She wonders why some people think that they are still in high school.*
updated at 2300:
Thank you for the sms (feel guilty after reading ur post today. yet u still made time for me) and the brownies all the way from aussie. Not to mention Ms Versatile who got back from work at 10pm and still picked up the phone. She reckons I should get a new pair of shoes. *LOL* So yeah, I am feeling fine.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


I was tagged by inah.

Rules of the tag:
1.Take a recent picture of yourself OR take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair…just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture.
5. Tag people to do this.

However, due to confidentiality, she was kind enough to amend the rules for my sake. So here it goes Inah, a picture of a book in my collection:

Anyone wants to have a go with the tag? Probably Jane, Darlene, CG, n.i. or momster (have you recovered from your jet lag dear?).

*Mini B was feeling under the weather a few days ago but it didn't stop her from going to school and attending her swimming lesson. She also got a new pair of knee high boots from Russell & Bromley. Mummy said they were on sales, cheaper than Clarks. Oh, apparently Boxing day sales will start a week early for some shops. Mini B hopes mummy dearest wont ask her to tag along.*

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Art of seduction

Most virtue is a demand for greater seduction Natalie Barney

Over the weekend, we did our usual trip to the book shop. While waiting for her, I usually pick a book to fill my time, which on average takes about 1 ½ hours. A book caught my attention, thin enough to keep me entertained. Oh by the way, just in case if you think I'm exploiting the shop for free, we usually get 3-5 books a month from the same shop. *grins*. Anyway, below is the excerpt from the book reproduced for the sheer pleasure for you ladies:

We all have the power of attraction—the ability to draw people in and hold them in our thrall. Far from all of us, though, are aware of this inner potential, and we imagine attractiveness instead as a near-mystical trait that a select few are born with and the rest will never command. Yet all we need to do to realize our potential is understand what it is in a person's character that naturally excites people and develop these latent qualities within us.

The Siren
The Siren is the ultimate make fantasy figure because she offers a total release from the limitations of his life. In her presence, which is always heightened and sexually charged, the male feels transported to a world of pure pleasure. She is dangerous, and in pursuing her energetically the man can lose control over himself, something he yearns to do. The Siren is a mirage; she lures men by cultivating a particular appearance and manner.

The Ideal Lover
Most people have dreams in their youth, but they get shattered and worn away with age. Ideal lovers thrive on people's broken dreams, which become lifelong fantasies. You long for romance? Adventure? Lofty spiritual communications? The ideal lover reflects this. He or she is an artist in creating the illusion you require. In a world of disenchantment, and baseness, there is limitless seductive power in following the path of the ideal lover.

The Dandy
Dandies excite us because they cannot be categorized, and hint at a freedom we want for ourselves. They play with masculinity and femininity; they fashion their own physical image, which is always startling. Use the power of the Dandy to create an ambiguous, alluring presence that stirs repressed desires.

The Natural
Childhood is the golden paradise we are always consciously or unconsciously trying to re-create. The Natural embodies the longed-for qualities of childhood—spontaneity, sincerity, unpretentiousness. In the presence of Naturals, we feel at ease, caught up in their playful spirit, transported back to that golden age. Adopt the pose of the Natural to neutralize people's defensiveness and infect them with helpless delight.

The Coquettes
The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction—while waiting, the victim is held in thrall. Coquettes are the grand masters of the game, orchestrating a back-and-forth movement between hope and frustration. They bait with the promise of reward—the hope of physical pleasure, happiness, fame by association, power—all of which, however, proves elusive; yet this only makes their targets pursue them the more.

The Charmer
Charm is seduction without sex. Charmers are consummate manipulators, masking their cleverness by creating a mood of pleasure and comfort. Their method is simple: They deflect attention from themselves and focus it on their target. They understand your spirit, feel your pain, adapt to your moods. In the presence of a Charmer you feel better about yourself. Learn to cast the Charmer's spell by aiming at people's primary weaknesses: vanity and self-esteem.

The Charismatic
Charisma is a presence that excites us. It comes from an inner quality—self-confidence, sexual energy, sense of purpose, contentment—that most people lack and want. This quality radiates outward, permeating the gestures of Charismatics, making them seem extraordinary and superior. They learn to heighten their charisma with a piercing gaze, fiery oratory, an air of mystery. Create the charismatic illusion by radiating intensity while remaining detached.

The Star
Daily life is harsh, and most of us constantly seek escape from it in fantasies and dreams. Stars feed on this weakness; standing out from others through a distinctive and appealing style, they make us want to watch them. At the same time, they are vague and ethereal, keeping their distance, and letting us imagine more than is there. Their dreamlike quality works on our unconscious. Learn to become an object of fascination by projecting the glittering but elusive presence of the Star.

I didn't finish reading it. I read just enough for me to analyse which type I fall under. *winks* I believe the book did mention that it was not about getting someone into bed (although I am sure we love the idea, eh?). *evil thoughts* On contrary, it is about being the object of desire by knowing your greatest asset, which may not necessarily be physical attributes, and the character of the person you wish to be your admirer.

You can review (actually, read) the book here. *winks* Oh, do I get chocolates or cookies for posting this?

So which seducer are you?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Faking & blending

Booth: Yeah, by now I usually have a feel for the person, what they wanted, how they felt, what was going on in their lives. With this girl, nothing.
Brennan: She thought she was ugly. She did everything she could to make herself beautiful. And all she did was make herself more invisible.

I caught up with Professor Fox yesterday, a friend who has known me for almost 2 decades (crap! Now I really feel old.*rolling eyes*). We talked about people from the past and how our society has changed. It was not the first that I heard about people becoming materialistic. In fact, I was told that there was a show which covered the worrying trend among the young(er) generation of resorting to “tapping their assets” for an easy way to a comfortable life.

When I first started working, the pay was peanuts compared to the responsibilities and hours. I never heard of fine brands and probably didn’t have time to shop anyway. Whenever I had to work long hours, I saw it as an opportunity to learn and improve my skills. In fact, once my MD apologised for making me staying late to help him with his presentation materials with the Board. I was heavily pregnant then.

Almost a decade later, despite being able to shop at Sloane Street or New Bond St, I still maintain the same rules on spending. Whenever I go back, I shop like a Malaysian. I love Vincci, Jusco, Tesco etc. I still think twice to buy something worth more than MYR50 because I remember back then, that amount was considered excessive.

I suppose since my circle of friends share similar traits, I find it strange when I hear their complaints of the society. For those who are in managerial posts, the woes often consist of the lack of determination among the young ones and their dissatisfaction with pay. Of course a graduate’s salary is never enough to buy Gucci or Prada. They either charge it to the credit cards, get a rich man (or woman) to help out or for those who can’t find one, they turn to fake goods.

People want to fit in. I get it. We change our appearances to blend in or to gain targeted people for fame or whatever reason. Probably it is because I have gazillions things on my mind that I don’t have the thoughts of blending in. But then again, I am known for being a weirdo anyway as my close friends have observed e.g. selective amnesia, life changing decisions, impromptu actions. It is also one of the reasons why I only have and maintain a handful of friends.

How far would a person go just to be accepted? It seems that there is no limit. When everything is superficial, what makes us unique then?

Perhaps it is also another reason why my friendship with Professor Fox remains strong despite the distance and time. Being able to buy fine things is nice but having good friends who enjoy a cup of teh tarik with you is way much cooler (and yes Fox dearie, I am workaholic as before but slowed down a lot).
*Ms B wanted to post about the art of seduction which she thinks her readers would love to read. She needs to do more research before posting*

Friday, November 14, 2008

Sexy juice, anyone?

Booth: Okay, news bulletin for ya'. Bones, there is not a, guy in this country who wouldn't want to have sex with you. Probably half the gay men ...
Brennan: Are you being nice about me, or awful about British men?
Booth: Wexler is not special, you are.

Of late, I've had interesting discussion with friends. The topics were mostly about dating and relationships. A friend mentioned that he hardly asks anyone out due to his appearance. I couldn’t believe my ears upon hearing as I think he has great personality. He even has a good career, thus he has to look good for board meetings etc. Yet, deep inside he feels he is a John Doe.

Then I told him, “did I ever mention that I was hardly noticed in high school and uni? Hardly anyone asked me out.”

He was shocked, then what happened?”

I told him that I was a late bloomer. My work grooms me to appear immaculate and being a mother forces me to be fit. Try to keep pace with a growing child, then you’d understand. The thing is, I never expect to be getting this much of attention at my age. I’m in my 30s and a mother with a demanding career! Do the math. Men would go for young girls or women with less issues.

I think with experience and this age, I have less expectation with dates. Then again, when a guy insists that he wants to take me out on a proper date, complete with wine and dine, I usually decline. Often the best dates I had were with someone unexpected e.g. an old friend and did simple things e.g. coffee. I guess it is a bonus when they happen to be yummilicious inside and outside. *winks*

I believe everyone has their chance to shine. Never underestimate a plain jane or john. I don’t blame my friends for feeling like that despite looking like a babe or hunk now. Often we can’t get rid of the past. The good thing is that, with people like this, we enjoy simplicity.

So to those Jane or John, if you happen to fancy that hunk or babe, just ask them out. If you happen to be that hunk or babe, just give these people a chance. Go out and enjoy the moment. You never know what’s in store.

Anyway, today my department decides to do some charity. We are “penalised” for wearing casuals and the proceeds go to charity. I thought my colleagues look good in their suits. Today, they proved me otherwise in their jeans. They look HOT!!!! Oh, did I mention some of my colleagues are seriously yummy? Remember the most eligible MD in my department that I wrote about some time ago? He was practically hanging out near my desk for some time and I just couldn’t breathe. All I could think was undressing him. *LOL* *evil thoughts*

So to my female viewers, have fun with this clip:

Monday, November 10, 2008

Cringe moments

I decided to take Kak Teh's challenge tho I must say, being this boring lot like me, I hardly had any cringe moment. I shall try my best.

Cringe moment 1:
While talking to a gf on the type of materials that I prefer to wear, I said “latex is good too as it feels smooth on your body.” A bunch of guys were seated next to us had a big grin on their face upon hearing. I meant to say lycra. Probably they thought I was into something kinky.

Cringe moment 2:
My girl and her BFF were talking about the view that they got in the changing room at the swimming centre. They spoke about the glory of the jungles and how one differed from another. Then the lil one said out loud, “well, my mummy doesn’t have one. She does her waxing all the time.”
We were having lunch at a restaurant by the way and suffice to say, many eyebrows raised and some eyes winked upon hearing.

The following cringe moments are not mine but worth mentioning.

Cringe moment 3:
During my second visit at this particular cafe, almost everyone behind the counter remembered my name as well as some of the regulars. I was impressed, kept going and became close to another regular. By the 3rd and 4th visit, I was already getting free coffees without fail. I found out it came from Mr Latte, the regular who was always friendly and sometimes flirted with me. This went on for almost a month but neither of us had another’s phone number. Then one day, after wishing me good night, I suddenly asked him in front of everyone, “So when are you going to ask for my phone number?”

The rest of the guys smacked their heads and looked at this guy, signalling how stupid he was for waiting for so long. Mr Latte blushed and asked for my number.

Cringe moment 4:
While having breakfast on a nice Saturday morning, a guy asked if it was ok for him to sit opposite me. I said he could and he started his pick up line, “why does a beautiful woman like you sit all by herself?” I then replied that some of us enjoy having breakfast on our own. He then continued bragging about himself and I tried hard to maintain a straight face. We later found out that a junior of mine back in uni was his school mate. He kept asking for my number and since we had a common friend, I gave mine.

I went home and when the lil one woke up, I took her and the nanny out. The guy started to call and it was not even an hour after I left the restaurant. He kept asking me to go out with him that day but I declined politely. I think he called at least 3 times in less than 2 hours after we met!

Then a few hours later, he called and said, “why didn’t you tell me that you are married with kids? I called Guy A to get information about you. He obviously knew where I was heading and told me, “dude, she’s married and has a daughter. You are way out of your league”. Do you know how foolish I felt?”

My reply, “well, you didn’t ask if I was married or single.”

Served him right! Next time, don’t bug me when I am enjoying my breakfast. My friend, Guy A, and I, had so much fun talking about this.

Good nite everyone!

Friday, November 07, 2008

Meeting new people

Angela: Just have fun. You know, every once in a while you might meet somebody who's worth it.
Amy: What if he's not?
Angela: Then you've got something else to paint about.

One of the sacrifices that come along with this role is my beauty sleep. For the last 2 weeks, I’ve had a few of 8am meetings. My office hours officially starts at 930am, thus I had to wake up an hour earlier. I felt like a zombie as I had a late one last night. I was out on a date. *winks* A good friend was in town and we went for late night shopping. I always love taking a stroll along Regent and Oxford St during winter despite the weather. But I suppose more often, the strolls are taken with someone close to my heart. Anyway, we took a cab from there to our usual hangout to have dinner.

So there we were, enjoying conversation and companionship. I told Big the current roller coaster of my life. Perhaps I’m so used of being and feeling like a plain Jane that I find it hard to believe that anyone is genuinely attracted to me. I also told him that I don’t understand the need of mixed signals. Why is it when I’m fine with them not wanting me that they start to give the extra TLC? Then he said, “Who says you are a plain jane? Men find you more attractive when they see that you are content by being alone and that you don’t need them. Hence they start to chase you with greater effort.”

Ah, now it makes some sense. But it leads me back to square one.

Big: “For all you know, there could be a new person that might appear along the way.”

Then today, at my meeting, I made a new friend. He thought I was a graduate. *LOL* It means I’m almost 10 years younger. I told him that I’m old and have a daughter in primary school. He gave his business card (and as usual, I forgot to give mine. Typical!). When I got back to my desk, I dropped him an email and said thanks for the words. For a woman, it is a big compliment. He replied, “it was great bumping into you this morning.” There was a smiley in his email too. I wouldn’t expect a smiley icon coming from a senior person. *smiles* Lunch or coffees are expected as his office is just next to my building. I think he appreciates the fact that I have experiences in his sector. I think so. Otherwise, why would he even bother to take time to talk to me anyway?

But I hate it when Big is right.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Of history and dreams

Mini B: Do you know who is Martin Luther King, mummy?
Me: Who is he, honey?
Mini B: He was the famous African American who fought for human rights for african american people. During the old days, people were mean to the african americans. He said that no matter what colour is your skin, we are all people. He also won the Nobel prize. His famous speach was "I have a dream".

She told me about Martin Luther King a few weeks back and whenever we see his picture, she'd quickly say his name. I suppose after this, she'll remember Obama too, being the first black president.

Coming back to my girl, when we first came here, she was timid in every way. She hardly spoke a complete sentence in English. The first few months in nursery, she was very quiet and lacked of confidence.

Now, she is the only Malaysian in her school and it doesn't stop her from being a school council (by election). On top of that, she was awarded merit or top 2 in her class last term. She also signed up for violin lessons and this term, she has asked me if she can join the Mandarin club. Her after-school activities include religious studies, additional school work as I bought activity books and language lessons. I must give all credits to her as they are her initiatives. She sets her own target and plans her diary. She reminds the nanny on what she needs to do for the day.

Looking at her and how much she has grown, I know we are doing fine. As Obama said in his speech, "And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can."

Never doubt your dreams for only you can make the changes.

Obama's full transcipt can be found

Monday, November 03, 2008

The hot date

The top question for today was, "Any dates with yummy men this week?"

OMG!!! I couldn’t believe myself when I saw the incoming texts from a few friends. I thought women were more interested in handbag than candy men. Mrs Cooper, the 1st person I called to share my latest steal was interested in my love life (not that I have one. She meant the dates of course). It is not that she didn’t care about the handbag. Mind you, she has been persuading me to get them for ages. She knows me too well when it comes to spending for myself, hence explains why she always reminds me to splurge.

Despite telling the girls of the bag, they were all interested in yummy men. Hey, it's not like as if I get hot dates all the time. Besides, I have other things to do such as reading (I bought 2 books but they are still untouched), completing this DVD box set, watching my favourite TV shows etc. FYI, I have declined dates in the past simply because they clashed with my favourite series.

I will choose the TV and sofa over a candy man anytime (unless of course if he doesn’t mind coming over and watch it with me, preferably with a bucket of ice cream). *winks*

In case you are wondering, my date for tonight is:

Sunday, November 02, 2008

The magic word

I have been eyeing this handbag for a few months now. I told myself that it will be in my wish list for this coming December's sales.

Then today, one of my Sifus, The Iron Lady, is in town and wanted to catch up. We took a stroll to her favourite place, New Bond St, as she wanted to get a red handbag (she gave hers to her daughter). Knowing her, if she finds something she likes, she'll buy them (with or without discounts). Perhaps it was our lucky day. While browsing in our favourite store, the sales assistant said the magic word. Yup. Some of the items were on sale for the day.

I ended up with this (it is the closest design I could find. Mine is soft black non-shiny leather with a bit of silver metal on the handle):

Looks like I have to ditch the boogie bag from the wish list (or probably I can postpone it to Easter. That way, I wont feel guilty. Or pray harder for a decent bonus). *rolling eyes* But I just bought a handbag 4 months ago. Sigh. A woman simply couldnt resist the magic word. By the way, it was really a good bargain.

The lil one responded differently tho, "I know this shop. You always get their handbags. But why didnt you bring me to go shopping? I thought I was your fashion consultant." Gulp! It is not helping at all knowing my girl has fine taste. I'd end up shopping more!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Wishful thinking

Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing Cause you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

Well how long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all

Baby there's a lot that I miss
In case I'm wrong

If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said I would
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Who wants a sugar daddy?

Now let me think why I should consider having a sugar daddy. Let’s pull together some list, shall we.

The Pros:
- Fixed income every month. If not comfortable, it would be a luxury lifestyle.
- You have most time to yourself as he is away on business trips or with the wife (or other women). All day shopping or coffee with friends.

The Cons:
- You wont be able to meet up other men. Maybe you could if you are careful but having a relationship is out of the question. You must exert high cautious if the sugar daddy is well connected and he could probably send his bouncers to mark his territory.
- You are his asset and at his mercy.
- He could probably be bald, have a fat belly, bad breath and lousy in bed.

Dont we all love listening to rumours? But seriously, why on earth would I want a sugar daddy when I earn enough to lead a comfortable life? Not to mention I have a high chance of doubling what I earn in a few years time if I work my way up the corporate ladder. For crying out loud, why would I want a sugar daddy when I can afford to have a toy boy?!?!?!? Hmm, but then again, who wants a toy boy when you are surrounded with yummilicious men. They come in nice packaging, with charisma and FREE OF CHARGE.

Please dont insult your intelligence, especially when you claim that your school is one of the elites. You have just proven that Malays, educated or not, have the same mentality and perceptions towards single mothers.

Like my close friends say, probably it is because that although I am in my 30s and a mother, I have a body and a face of a woman a decade younger. (ok, I could be exaggerating but who cares). Second, I have a job that I love and pays damn well.

Careful now. These days, God pays everything in cash. Perhaps the rumours will push me closer to reach this.

I know I should feel offended by this but I have things to be happy about. A dear blogger just said that B is for beautiful and that I am young and full of life. Yikes! Now I have to make sure that I live up to your expectation dear. *winks* Not to mention that I am still smitten by the date last night. *dreamy eyes*. Please excuse me while I enter my dreamland.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Pretty woman moment

Of all days, suddenly today I received much attention from people at work. My secretary asked if I had a haircut, which I did by the way and it was 2 weeks ago! Or that I was wearing a nice pair of shoes when I wear them every other day for a year now. Or my suit looks good when I wear them once a fortnight.


Could it be because I had a certain glow on my face that somehow, I looked like a drop dead gorgeous lady? *cough cough cough*

Then, my secretary found out that someone was in town and all of a sudden, everything made sense to her. Yikes! She pulled my legs so bad that I buried myself behind my desk.

Geesh..knowing that he is around has made me blushed like this. I wonder what would happen should we meet. *winks*

Damn it! Get a grip woman. You've been friends for so long and everything was fine each time he was in town. Well, that was before you realised how yummilicious he is (I cursed my best friend for pointing it that to me) and not to mention the chemistry you had a few months ago.

But I cant deny that I have been singing whole day and feel like a pretty woman.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

First dates -- the good, the bad, the OMG

The 'click'
If the chemistry is right, of course, it doesn't matter what you do on a first date.

Bret Bouchard, a 29-year-old Web designer from Cohoes, New York, says his best first date was an evening he spent a year ago with a bank manager named Ashley Stevenson, now 24. The two had a great meal at a Mexican restaurant then spent the rest of the night walking around the Empire State Plaza in Albany.

"It's always been my favorite part of Albany, and I thought it would be a romantic place to go afterwards," says Bouchard. "I showed her all my favorite areas -- the sculptures, the reflecting pool, the alcove in the performance center where your voice echoes. We ended up sitting there and talking for hours. It was the place we had our first kiss."

The last time I went on a "first date" would be a few months ago. I didnt have much expectation as he was not really my type based on his factsheet. You see, he was different from others; the ones I usually go out with or who are interested in me. Generally they wear suits, handle business or money matters, super achiever etc.

So I went with an open mind. Well, I actually didnt go and meet him. He picked me up from home. And yes, I asked whether it was ok for me to wear heels. He must have thought I was a weirdo. *lol*

The first impression I gave was not good. He made an effort to look nice but I came very casual. I felt really bad. Then the choice of place to hang out. He was kind enough to accompany me to a local joint that served nasi lemak kerang. As we both in different professions, it felt like two people talking in different languages.

But you know what, it was one of the best "first date" I ever had. The way it started, the place we went, the things we talked about etc. I never felt so relaxed. I supposed I felt that way because he shared some pieces of his life that made me pulled down my fences.

Booth: Getting information out of alive people is a lot different than getting information out of a pile of bones. You have to offer up something of yourself first.
Brennan: What exactly did you do in the military?
Booth: You see? You see what you did right there Bones? You asked a personal question without offering anything personal in return, and since I'm not a skeleton, you get zilch. Sorry!

What triggered this? Remember the kitchen scene in Sepi where Afdlin and Vanida fooled around? It reminded me of our third date. *smiles*

I am happy to know that he is doing fine.

Anyway, how was your first date?

Full article can be found:
First Dates

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Tagged - again

Akmal has kindly tagged me (I suppose it was payback time since I tagged him earlier).

7 facts about me:

1. I am tall compare to the average malay women. Once I went on a blind date and I asked him whether it was ok for me to wear heels. I was being polite. Oh, my girlfriends’ first question after a date would be his height!

2. I love to eat and it always raises people’s eyebrows, especially if it involves chips, ice creams, cheese etc, as it is not shown by my body figure.

3. I am not a fan of shoes or handbags. I trust my collections are only a fraction of what women with the same purchasing power but they are enough to make me look good. *LOL*

4. Cooking is like a therapy for me and I cook out of love. When I am stressed or just want to relax, I cook. If the lil one craves for a particular dish, I will do it. This fact is not common among family and friends as I hardly do so back home (or probably the way I appear?). Once my girl said to the grandparents, “Mummy never cooks here and you think she can’t but she makes really yummy food”.

5. I drink mocha EVERYDAY! Even the coffee guy/girl at the cafe near work knows my order without me uttering a word.

6. I love nasi lemak kerang and thankfully, during the last 2 trips back, I found a place close enough to home that have them served all day long!

7. I am a single parent to a beautiful and adorable daughter, who always wishes for her mum to find her prince. I reckon he is lost somewhere. Can someone please give him a map?

I now tag D, Darlene, Syuks, NJ, Fizzy, Momster, Kak Teh, anyone else up for it?

Oh, happy deepavali everyone! Hope those back home are enjoying the long weekend.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Mastercard moment & getting old

Mini B: Why didn’t you go to work mummy?
Me: Because I wanted to spend time with you.
Mini B: Ok. (paused for a while) Can we do this again next time? (with a smile on her face)
Me: Of course honey.

The cost of cancelling the trip: hmm, enough to get a few handbags.
To be having that conversation with her and know that she had a good time: Priceless!

Oh by the way, we watched HSM3 and had the cinema to ourselves. She had so much fun that she danced and sang along the movie! Later, we went to the science museum and spent a few hours there. Before we ended the day, we had late lunch (more like tea time) at a nearby cafe, where the conversation took place.
Mastercard moment indeed. *smiles*

I did something stupid and tried my best to control the "damage". The last time I covered my trails, I received sms from Kak Teh and emails from close bloggers on why I did so. Not to mention that I personally left my new "home" to the people I knew back then. Went to each web and left my details (altho I remember D said that I forgot to leave my new trail!).

After I did what I could possibly think of, I then asked myself whether it was worth the trouble. Because of my silliness, I probably deprive my blogger friends and readers from reading my rambling thoughts (most of them don't make sense anyway. *LOL*).

Oh well, I learn my lesson. I am getting old, hence couldn't remember to cover my tracks as well as I usually do. *rotfl*

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


"Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."

I may not have met her in person but I am glad that I made that step to get to know her a few weeks ago ie sms and phone call. Today, I realise how fortunate I am to have her as a friend.

So D dear, thank you for making time for me today.

Sometimes it takes an unexpected event or action to make us realise the worth of things (and people). Although things didnt turn out as planned, it somehow led me to a meaningful discovery. Once again, I dont know how this journey is going to be but for whatever it is, I am thankful for just being part of it.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Strength and wisdom

Booth: You know that thing where you ask for the strength to change the things that you can and the wisdom to know the difference?
Brennan: Not really.
Booth: Well, it's a good thing.

I don’t really know whether I want to go on this trip. My emotions are mixed. I wish I could unleash my thoughts but I feel the need to keep it buried.

If I don’t feel like going, I’d cancel it. Money can’t buy happiness. Well, sometimes they do. I treat my loved ones if it makes us happy. Even sometimes to people who make my lil one happy (and my feelings towards them are neutral).

I don’t know how many chances I should give to a person. I’m sure there is a limit.

Can I have it all; motherhood, career and love? Should I give myself a chance to give it a try? Or should I just move on and let it go...?

What is the price of cancelling a trip? My peace of mind? Maybe... I wish I have the strength to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know whether it is worth it.

Saturday, October 18, 2008


1. When was the last time you ran? A long time ago.
2. Do your jeans have rips, tears and holes in them? Nope.
3. What are you dreading right now? Nothing in particular.
4. Do you celebrate 4/20? No clue.
5. When was the last time you saw your significant other? If you are referring to mini B, a minute ago. Otherwise, still wishful thinking.
6. Do you get the full eight hours of sleep every night? Rarely.
7. What is your favorite current song? Let me be myself by 3 doors down.
8. If anyone came to your house on your lazy days, what would you do? Entertain them. I’m used to having impromptu guests since uni.
9. Who last grabbed your ass? I’m not sure whether that person did. Hmmm, maybe. *winks*
10. Have you ever been in your school’s band? Yes.
11. Do you own a pair of Converse? Nope.
12. Did you copy and paste this survey? Of course.
13. Do you eat raw cookie dough? Sometimes.
14. Have you ever kicked a vending machine? Cant remember.
15. Do you hate it when a radio ruins a song by playing a slow one after it? Neutral.
16. Do you watch Trading Places? No clue.
17. Have you ever stayed on line a long time waiting for someone? If you have ever lived here, you’d know how their customer service is. A nightmare!
18. Are you ‘cocky’? Dont know.
19. Could you live without a computer? If you give me a candy man, definitely! *winks*
20. Do you wear your shoes in the house? Nope.
21. At what age did you find out Santa was not real? Like forever.
22. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are there in your home? 2 mobiles, 1 landline.
23. What do you do when you are sad? If around people, I’d smile. Otherwise, take a hot bubble bath and unwind.
24. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? Mini B.
25. Last time you saw your best friend? A few months ago.
26. Who, or What sleeps with you? Mini B and her “children” (5 of them).
27. Are you still in High School? No.
28. Is anyone on your bad side now? *thinking*
29. What jewelry are you wearing now? Earrings and necklace.
30. What is the first thing that you do when you get on line? Check my emails.
31. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? Definitely.
32. Would you ever wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? Yes, cos it would probably mean I’m having sleepover at his place. *grins*
33. Where do you work? London.
34. What are you doing on Friday? Dinner with friends.
35. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? If he’s considering plastic surgery, then yeah.
36. Favorite name for a girl? Mini B
37. Favorite name for a boy? Starts with A.
38. Will you keep your own name when you get married? Yes.
39. When was the last time you left your house? About 2 hours ago. Dinner with friends.
40. Do you return your cart (I assume trolley)? Yes.
41. Do you have a dishwasher? Nope.
42. What noise do you hear? The washing machine.

I now tag Fizzy, Darlene, Inah, Syukur and Akmal.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


Booth: Can I make a lifestyle suggestion?
Brennan: Go ahead.
Booth: You know, vacation - it's from the Latin "vacatio" and means, you know, freedom and release - you might want to consider that next time.
Brennan: Learning Latin?
Booth: This is the opposite of vacation. I mean, no wonder you snapped, went insane and totally lost your mind.
Brennan: Oh, thanks for your understanding.

My planned leave is less than a week from now and I still have not decided on where to go. All I know is that I really need a break. Both of us do, tho probably not so much for the lil one as she is enjoying her life.

I better make up my mind soon.

Or maybe I should ditch both ideas and just head to Paris for a short break. Less of a headache.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Wounded souls....

I whisper to the moon
Please return to me
My companion
My lover
My heaven

Without him, night is my companion
Loneliness holds me in its embrace

Dear moon
Please do not let the sun come
Let the world be in darkness
Let it be lonely like me

- Sepi -

Sunday, October 12, 2008

A good night sleep...

I know I should feel happy that:

- we might be going to the land of the emirates for our holiday, fully provided for. A high profile role is to be explored;
- an invitation was received to watch Andrea Bocelli's show in Naples, full VIP treatment. The trip will also include shopping at the no-price-tag boutiques and the lil one gets 3 sales assistants helping her to choose the outfits; and
- Mr Big will be in town.

All three in the same week (I havent decided which to choose).

But the truth is, I am not sure I want any of those. I want to rest. I havent been getting enough. I just couldnt sleep these days as much as I want to.

Maybe I am thinking too much....

Someone told me to follow my heart. Of late, it keeps telling that I should go back and it has nothing to do with men. It just feels right, that is all.

It is a difficult decision but for now, all I want is a good night sleep.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

The fever is back!

When you have daughters (or nieces, god daughters, etc) between the ages of five to seventeen, the things that should be on your finger tips are:
- High School musical: it includes knowing Troy/Zack, Gabriella/Vanessa, Wild Cats etc;
- Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus; and
- Camp Rock, featuring Jonas Brothers.

Oh, you are expected to know the songs as well. Probably it wont be an issue knowing they’d be singing their lungs out day and night.

You should know that there is no point buying their clothes on your own as you’d end up returning them. It is best to bring them along and often they’d say, “you know that I like rock style”. If only they have a workshop for parents like me who has no clue of what rock style means. Thankfully, it meant following Hannah/Miley’s wardrobe. I was glad her choices today consisted of brown colours (I was afraid she’d choose black!).

Enjoy the trailer!

The Crush

The week has been manic. I was too tired today that I decided to go to bed early. Unfortunately, I couldn’t sleep but the lil one managed to enter dreamland within minutes. *smiles*

The crash of the stock markets and fall of the banks led my division busier than ever. Too many companies are signalling SOS that we are swamped. I suppose it is a good thing i.e. more money for us. I know I am not paid five figures USD per month to browse the net. But hang on, that was exactly what I did for the past few days. I had to ensure my MDs had the latest news. I think my fingers have 6 packs each as they have been tapping the keyboard endlessly.

Anyway, enough of financial distress.

Do you remember back in high school or uni, there is a group of elite people? The supercool type. They don’t have to act and prove to be cool. Fame is in their blood. They come from well to do family and the guys are good looking while the girls are gorgeous. Well, even if they aren’t, they know how to carry themselves and appear good. They lead a life just like the characters in Gossip Girls.

McSteamy and Booth were part of that group. Not only they were good looking, they were smart too. McSteamy was the best student for his year whilst Booth got dean’s list almost every semester. I never spoke to McSteamy as he was way much my senior, despite his room was next to mine (it was a mixed college). Booth on the other hand was in my year. Still, since I was not part of that group (a plain Jane with lack of effort to dress herself nice), I usually kept myself away from him.

Yet, despite being in that group, Booth was always kind to me. Other people would just say hi & bye upon meeting me at campus. Booth would always stop and make a conversation. Oh, I had a huge crush on him during that time. *LOL* But I knew my place, way out of that league. It was always nice to talk to Booth. Never failed to make my day.

Booth was here for awhile. We sometimes contacted each other via email. We usually bumped into one another either at our business functions or the usual restaurants. He is now back in KL and I totally forgot to keep in touch, up until I saw his picture at someone’s blog. It prompted me to drop an email. A short one, just to confirm I got the right address. He replied, with a very cheerful tone. I updated him with my career progress. He somehow managed to sum it up that I have not made up my mind to either stay in London, come home or take the Singapore’s offer. Yet, should I decide to come home, he wants to meet up and have a chat of what his firm can offer. Typical MD material. *LOL* They are groomed to poach good people when they see one. I think if he does make an offer, I’d accept without looking at the terms. *ROTFL* Hey, he still gives me that ‘jaw dropped’ moment. He looks exactly the same but in better packaging (suits of course).

Anyway, it was good to get an email from him, especially when it ended with “do take care” and “warm regards” phrases (also a smiley face). After a long week, it made my day.

Sometimes I think Mrs Cooper and the Sexy Professor were right. It seems that I am given the chance to make up loss time. *smiles*

Monday, October 06, 2008

Sweet child of mine

She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry

I emailed one of my Sifus that I met his ex-colleague. The Flying Dutchman knew a lot about him and I presumed they were close. However, Sifu couldn’t recall who Flying Dutchman was and asked for some description. All I said was that he is really good looking and looks young for his age. He could be almost a decade older than me but he looks like in early 30s, quite a catch, Orlando Bloom’s body (of course I didn’t disclose these details to Sifu).

My Sifu on the other hand replied, “Single? Available? Go for it!” huh??? I felt like smacking my head when I read his email. I know Sifu meant well. All of them are. During my trip back, another Sifu said something similar, “for now, you have the lil one but she’s growing up. One day, you would want to have a companion.”

I have been a single parent for a few years now. In fact, close friends said that I have been managing the family by myself ever since the lil one was born. For as long as I can remember I have been on my own, literally speaking. The only difference between now and then is that I have my girl by my side.

And you know what? Despite there were times that I felt my life was falling apart, I had many sweet memories. My girl was a cheerful baby. She was always smiling and laughing. They were contagious, mind you. Even at my lowest point, a look at her face would make me smile. Sometimes when I was studying late night (for my professional exam) and felt stressed out, I just crawled in bed and snuggled next to her. I would probably be the only mom who would wake her daughter up after coming home late from work (due to unrealistic deadline) just to play with her. Others would be glad that their kids were already in bed but me, I would try my best to wake her up and spend some time to play. The moment she opened her eyes, she’d giggle and smooch me.

Now my baby is a young girl, doing extremely well. She has built a strong confidence level over the years. People speak immaculate things about her. Today she received the “School Council” badge. I think the Student Council works closely with the Principal in organising school events and liaising students’ issues. I can see she’s happy with her achievement.

I know my life is blessed, especially with a beautiful daughter. Yet, even she wants me to have my happily ever after.

The truth is, I dont even know whether I am capable to be committed in a relationship. My priority will always be her and if a man decides that he wants to be with me, he has to be prepared for that.

Or perhaps because of that, they will make their exit...

Saturday, October 04, 2008

When was the last time you got away?

Booth: You ever just, you know, sit on the beach, pretend there is no such thing as skeletons?
Brennan: Is that in any way fun?
Booth: When was the last time you got away?
Brennan: Got away from what?
Booth: Oh, Bones. You know, cause what usually happens to me, I think about not coming back.
Brennan: Seriously?
Booth: Yeah, you know, you go with someone, you joke about not going back to your real life, the two of you laugh. But, when you're alone the world is full of possibilities.

I have taken a few trips on my own since university. I guess the idea of being away to a foreign place, where no one knows you, makes it appealing. You can be whoever you want to be, without being judged. Even if they do, you couldn’t care less. Chances are, they wont be seeing you again. As you are on your own, you are bound to ask the locals for directions, tips or advice. Most of them are helpful, especially since you try your best to speak their language using the basic phrases provided by the guide books. Even when I am away for business purpose, I make it a point to do some sightseeing, usually on my own. I just ask the receptionist to arrange for a cab and tour the city. Sometimes I will tell them to drop me off at the favourite spots where you can take a stroll endlessly.

Of course it is good to be on a holiday with a partner. You take a break from your normal routine and rekindle the passion. Still, you cant run away from expectations. You want it to be the perfect trip and somehow, with the pressure, it can ruin the moment.

A solo trip gives you an opportunity to explore new things. Every place has its own attractions, be it arts, history, food or shopping. Each has its own vibes and atmosphere. Somehow, it evokes certain thoughts and makes you reflect on your life.

Sometimes when I take that stroll at those famous boulevards, take that mocha at a cafe or dinner at a nearby restaurant, I will always end up in deep thoughts. I tend to reflect what I want without factoring anything.

Somehow, a trip on your own leads to many possibilities, as proven in my case many times. It is a matter of choice whether we want to explore the door. Besides, you wouldn’t know what is in store until you give it a try.

Anyway, today I explored one huge door. I know it is going to be a big stepping stone for me but at least I am giving it a try. If the firm has strong faith and is willing to take the risk on me, why should I not give myself a chance? My past sometimes makes me discount myself but over the years, I learn to shake them off. Sometimes I forget that many people see that I am already “there”. Like my MD said, there is no point for them to give an opportunity to someone who does not buy-in the idea.

So I guess I have to be a shopaholic, eh? *smiles*

*Both Ms B and mini Ms B look forward to their next holiday, although at present Ms B has yet to decide the location. She has booked her leave but undecided where to go. Either a trip to the beach or Florence just for the sake of visiting their designer outlets in order to get Italian handbags at just 200 euros.*

Sunday, September 28, 2008

of Eid wishes

Forgiveness is something we should all practise. Not just for Hari Raya but every day.
We should celebrate it and embrace it as an essential part of our lives.
There is nothing so bad that cannot be forgiven.
Hurt will never heal until you forgive.
If you are at war with others, you cannot be at peace with yourself.
You can let go and forgive. It takes no physical strength to let go, only courage.
Forgiveness is the single most important process that can bring peace to our souls and harmony to our lives.
Forgiveness is not something we have to strain ourselves to do.
Forgiveness helps you move forward.
No one benefits from forgiveness more than the one who forgives.
Give yourselves the gift of forgiveness today.

Ms B and mini Ms B would like to wish everyone a blessed eid.

Special wish to Kak Teh, Ruby, Fizzy, Simah, D and Momster. Thank you for being part of our life for the past year. Thank you for your words of wisdom and encouragement. Maaf zahir batin from both of us.

To new friends: Cosmic Girl, Pak Idrus, Akmal, Syukur, Darlene, Ms Curvy, Hazia, NJ, Aporn, Hannan, Inah. Thank you for this friendship. Hope you have a lovely time on this day.

To uncle Lee and Daphne, hope you get to try our rendang in Canada.

To my silent readers, thank you for reading my blog. If you celebrate eid, may you have a nice time with your loved ones.

For some of us, this could be a solemn Eid, to celebrate without a loved one by our side, either by circumstances or by choice. Some would probably have met a new person, while others are still hoping and searching. We should not give up on hope. Yet at the same time, we focus on what we have and how blessed our life is.

As I look back at my journey for the past 9 months, there were moments that my life was touched by beautiful people. Regardless what was the outcome, I am glad to have met them. Sometimes we have to take risk and open ourselves to new opportunities. Maybe that person or that moment could teach us a thing or two about life.

*after their passionate kiss*
Christina Yang: I don’t even know you!
Major Hunt: So?

Sometimes, there are things that you cannot explain. No matter how hard you try to rationalise, it simply does not work. There are moments in life that you probably wonder on how you can be yourself to a person, not being pretentious or put a wall around you. Just a moment of peace...a moment when all your worries seem to be swept away...

Thank you for being one of the highlights of my life. I wish you lifelong happiness and peace. May you have a blessed Eid.