First blog award

Guess who got her first blog award? *smiles* D seems to think that I deserve this. I am still scratching my head on how she got that figured out. Just like her, I dont care how other perceive about my way of raising the lil one. Without her love, patience and faith, I would not be where I am. Anyway D darling, thank you.

It seems that the award comes with a set of rules which are:
1. Admit one thing you feel awful about (involving being a mom). Once you have written it down, you are no longer allowed to feel bad. Remember you are a good mom!
2. List 7 things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you.
3. Send this to 5 other moms of the year that deserve a reminder that they too are the best moms that they can be. Remember to send them a note letting them know you have selected them, and also add a link to your post that directs people back to the person who nominated you.

1. I am having a hard time to think of one as I have MANY that makes me feel awful. A combination of being strict, juggling my career, trying hard to be a super mom etc. For now, let’s just stick to one.

Being strict. She knows very well how much emphasis I place on education. She makes sure that she does her school work the moment she gets it and does not wait until the day before submission to do it. Sometimes she takes time to answer and my level of patience can be very low (as proven by my siblings as I used to coach them. They think I am harder than my parents). Occasionally it leads to tears and yup, it breaks my heart each time, especially when there is no one to comfort her. Dont get me started on drawing the line when it comes to buying unnecessary things, no matter how cheap they can be. I dont believe in wasting money. Saying no is always hard and I end up feeling guilty each time.

Having that out of my chest still doesn’t make me feel good. Maybe just a little less bad.

2. The wonderful 7:

1. She wakes up with a smile on her face and places a kiss on my cheek every morning. We often take our time to cuddle or her saying, “a few more minutes, mummy”. That usually leads me leaving home without breakfast as we have to rush to school. Now you understand why it is very important that I have comfortable shoes, no matter how nice the stilettos will look on me.

2. She writes love notes all the time and when I least expect. She is good with artwork (the opposite of me) and takes time to create it. When she was younger, she used to hide them in my bag or under the pillow.

3. She never complains no matter how challenging life may be. Sometimes when I am away, she often tells me not to worry about her and the nanny will take good care of her. She never cries during our phone calls but apparently, sometimes she does after we hang up. She just does not want me to worry.

4. She rarely asks for anything. If she likes an item, she will look at it and ask about the price, even a £2 magazine/book. If she has gotten something earlier, like 2-3 weeks before, she’d ask if she can get the magazine next month. I am always touched by her gestures and of course, I’d get the magazine on the spot.

5. She makes me feel that I am a great cook. Sometimes after our meal, she’ll come to me and hug, saying thank you for making such a lovely dish, even when they were just sardines and omelette!

6. I learn to live life through her. She guides me to feel young and appreciate the roses along the journey. She tells me to let my hair down and just dance. Sometimes we sing and dance in a mall or at the park, oblivious of other people.

7. She picks me up when I am down. When I am ill or sad, she makes a card or asks the nanny or the aunties to get me flowers.

3. I now award this to:
D – I know I’m supposed to find 5 new moms but I dont care about the rules. You deserve the award again and always remember you are a babe!
Simah – You’ve done well dear! Being there, raising your kids, driving and now lecturing. You go girl!
Kak Teh – You might think you are crazy but I’m sure somewhere along the way, you have had the right magic potion that your kids turn out great.
Momster – I simply love the way you talk about the lil one. Always a pleasure to hear news about him.
n.i. – This woman will go extra length to make sure her kids are well fed, even making her own nuggets!

Tag

Finally I have time to write and blog-hop. I know I owe some of you things to do. First is the tag from Darlene. I’m going to have a hard time finishing this tag but here goes:

Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog/Facebook note with 16 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 16 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment or tag them in your note to read this.

1. I recently realised that when I am stressed, I lose weight, have sleepless nights, bad breakouts and dark circles under the eyes. To counter attack, I am starting to eat twice as much or stuffing more cheese. Thankfully the breakouts and circles disappear within a few days. I have yet to figure out on the sleeping part.
2. I was feeling a bit lost a few days ago.
3. I managed to put some cheerful vibes by Friday.
4. While doing my undergrad studies, I was about 15 kgs heavier.
5. I was once a UK size 4 or US size 0. Thankfully it only lasted for a few months.
6. I did a close version of backpacking holiday around the UK for about two months when I was an undergrad. It was a solo journey from the land down under to here.
7. I used to subscribe Cosmo more than a decade ago. I remember having at least two years of subscription (there goes my pocket allowance).
8. These days, my daily reads are Forbes and Fortune, almost without fail. An obvious sign of ageing. *sigh*
9. I drink mocha every day.
10. I miss nasi lemak kerang (and thank you dear for thinking of it and knowing it is an impossible item to request from home).
11. I am looking forward for my day off this Friday and meeting a dear friend.
12. I wish I can cook more often for my girl.
13. I wish for a long hot bath.
14. I cant get rid of this Lily Allen’s song out of my head! Hence I decided to put it on my playlist, hoping it’d disappear soon.
15. I took revenge today by getting myself a phone in RED! I think it was payback time for the amount of stress and energy I experienced. (yeah right! That should not be an excuse to shop.)
16. It seems romance is still alive and kicking in my life. I take back my word. *smiles*

Phew.. I managed to complete the tag. *pat on the shoulder* I think I’ll skip the tagging part.

Smooching roses

Picture from latimes.com

Mini B: Mummy, are we going to get roses?
Me: Why?
Mini B: It is Valentine’s Day!

I totally forgot about it up until a few friends mentioned the subject two days ago. I was so tied down with work and other things e.g. school meeting that it slipped away from my mind.

Blimey! Am I losing my sense as a woman? Or perhaps romance has definitely died in my world. *rolling eyes*

Anyway, wish you happy love day! Smooch your loved ones.

And no, we didn’t get the roses. Instead, it was home cooked meal for the two of us. Roast chicken with mashed potatoes served with mushroom and black pepper gravy.

The match

I am exhausted, sleepy and probably stressed judging by the amount of sleep or worse, dreaming about work. Why can’t it be simpler i.e. sexy men giving me back massage during my sleep?

At least I managed to squeeze some time for a lovely dinner on Monday, wearing that red cocktail dress. A friend was in town for the most talked about match and I was invited to join him for dinner. Not that I had the opportunity to sit with him as he was hosting dinner for the five rings games committee of his country, including The President. I was seated with his English speaking business partners and thankfully, they talked about the economy and not sports. Before I left, I went to his table to say goodbye and he introduced me to his friend, the VP of the committee. The guy said that he heard so much about me. Indeed I was flattered.

Then the next day, I managed to leave early from work and headed to his hotel to go to the match together. Apparently, the Brazilian team was staying at the same place. There were 8 of us going to the match; his close friends, business partners and his MD. I didn’t manage to get a glimpse of the players as we left early (there was a queue outside the lift).

The traffic was bad as expected but we arrived at a reasonable time. I knew we were going to get good seats but it didn’t come across my mind that we’d get a box. Well, for me of course. I’m sure he always gets the box whenever his country or his team is playing.

Anyway, the view was awesome! I took some pictures of the match but I think there were more photos of the box. *LOL* And don’t get me started on the food. Yummy! Entree and main course were served before the match and during half time, we had dessert.

I really had a nice time and made new friends. One of his business partners is an MD of a large company in Europe and told me to let him know if I decide to come to his city. Mrs Ferragamo, the wife of Mr Ferragamo, his close friend, invited me and the lil one to visit them in Venice.

I better get some sleep now. Apology for not being able to be more creative with this post. All I can say is that Italian men can be very charming. It does not help when they don’t have the ring on the finger or that they happen to be good looking. (Notice the plural in that sentence? *winks*)

Too much information

Dean: Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: Too much information.
Sam: Hey, I told you I was coming clean.
Dean: Yeah, but now I feel dirty.

I realise when I’m in a company of a younger man, he tends to reveal too much information. Things that you wouldn’t want to hear as a friend, let alone as a date. It feels like he is trying too hard to prove that he is worthy (or matured) enough to go out with you.

Trust me, any rational women would not want to hear about your past encounters, or that you actually have done it. Neither the experience nor the quantity proves anything. It does not define how manly you are. You can claim that you have credentials just by stating the obvious but it doesn’t mean that you have what it takes to please a woman.

More often than not, men who boast about their encounters don’t have a good GPS. In fact, some may not even have one.

I probably can chew most stuff because it’s just me. I know my friends find it easy to blurt things out, even if the subject discussed requires an open mind. I have no problem to listen or give my opinion.
But.... I really find it odd when I barely know that person or perhaps I do but not that close, that he starts to tell about his glorious past (or current encounters). Seriously, do you reckon that I’d be impressed to see a foil nicely tucked in your wallet? I wonder how exactly it reflects you; that you are prepared for an opportunity. So that’s a good thing, really? *rolling eyes*

For some of us, your experience is irrelevant. As I said, some men, no matter how good looking they are, do not have GPS. Otherwise, why do you see so many manuals out there on the book shelf? Through trust, communication and love (yes, I am a romantic fool!), it will be an earth shattering moment.

But seriously, it is so uncool to show your “Durability, Reliability, and Excellence” packet in the wallet. Huge turn off, at least for me. No more dates.

Snow etc

Each time we see snow, we get all excited. It snowed three times today and by the third fall (which was not long before I’m writing this), it was so heavy that the roads, lawns, cars were covered by the white flakes. What a beautiful sight! I had to carry the lil one so that she could get a better view through our window.

It was a good way to end our weekend or perhaps, to start the week with. The lil one is feeling much better today. I got a phone call from school on Friday saying she wasn’t feeling well. It was just an hour after I dropped her off. It took me by surprise when I arrived at the school’s office and seeing how poor condition she was. She had high fever.

So when we reached home, she asked, “mummy, why am I sick?”

“Probably you are going to get bigger”, I replied.

“Hmmm, I think God heard my prayers. He knew I have to go to the deep end today. I get to skip it and stay home instead”, with a grin on her face. She was referring to her swimming class. Even when she’s sick, she still makes me laugh.

So it was a stay-at-home session for both of us for the past two to three days. We both ended up reading and me cooking three days consecutively, which was by the way a big deal to her (and me). Finally I got to complete one book and glad that I bought it despite I was not familiar with the author. The moment I picked up the book, I couldn’t put it down. There was so much about the story that I could relate myself to. Perhaps I shall tell more of the book on another day.

But for now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to spend the night with the two new lovers of mine; Dean and Castiel. They are on tonight. *winks* *naughty thoughts*

Updated @ 915am: The school is closed and we only found out after we arrived (they hardly close no matter how bad the weather can be)! Snow is about 5 inches++. Apparently my colleagues are still in bed and here I am worried about getting to work on time. *rolling eyes*

Scary is sexy

On my way back to London, I had a post composed in my thoughts. Once reached, I decided to have a cup of tea at a nearby cafe. As I sipped my drink, a guy stood in front of me. I just looked straight at him, thinking where we have met before. It took me awhile to figure out that he was one of the boys. He said hello and mentioned my name.

Darn! I didn’t even know his. But at least I remember where we met. *LOL* Once again, the girlish feeling crept into me and I felt so wobbly that I couldn’t manage to stay long at the cafe.

So my nicely composed post seemed to have lost when the moment struck. The good thing was it took my throbbing headache away as well, at least for awhile.

On another note, I realise my taste has gone weirder and weirder. I find the new character, Castiel, simply irresistible. I doubt we’ll see him in any sexy mode. It is ok I guess since Dean will share his steamy moments with us in the new season, as if he hadn’t already done so in the past. *grins*

Got It, Don't Flaunt It

“Think about it this way: If a person buys a monogrammed Gucci handbag, or diamond earrings shaped like Chanel's double Cs, everyone knows where she made the purchase. If, instead, she chooses one of Bottega Veneta's braided satchels, or a handbag from Proenza Schouler's new line--which has no visual branding--she doesn't look like she's showing off.”

I'm always amazed by the need of some people to have designer stuff. Yes, need. For some, it is a must to be in possession of certain brands, even when the design is not great or the use is impractical.

I realise that there are only a handful of women working in the same building as me carry LV or Gucci handbags. In fact, on my floor, there could probably be one or two ladies. None of my MDs carry them. Not that they can’t afford one. On average, most of them have at least two to three homes around UK and a holiday home either near the beach or ski spots in Europe.

Yet, I must admit they have fine taste when it comes to handbag. Their collections are stylish and classy, with no obvious brand. For all I know, it could be the Birkin.

Apparently the sales of glaring designs have fallen in Europe and US. Some are cutting down their work force and closing down their factories due to lack of demand. During tough times, the last thing you want is to attract unnecessary attention. Probably it makes little difference in this country as jobless are entitled to dole. However, I doubt it is the same back home. A friend who called me today said that she has become more vigilant each time she goes out and about. She even changed her handbag to a less known brand to minimise risk.

Despite the recession, some people remain unchanged and continue to buy. Perhaps it is good that they are playing their role to the economy by spending but seriously, how many designer handbags does a person need in a year? Like an article I read in Forbes today, instead of buying 10 obvious brand handbags, why not getting one limited edition bag equivalent to the price of 10. Usually the value of these bags increases over time.

Or why not just follow Warren Buffet’s philosophy? He still lives in the old house which he purchased 50 years ago when his net worth stands at USD62 billion as reported in 2008.

Oh well, if you have the means to buy, then why not? Only that, I find it very amusing when these people make a huge noise upon knowing the meal costs at decent Malaysian cafes in London or insist that their kids should get scholarship or loan to pursue their studies. If you can buy handbags worth hundreds or thousands of sterling, surely you can afford those mentioned.

Unless of course, they were charged to cards or worse, fake goods.

You can read the full article here.

*Ms B would like to wish everyone Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Holidays!*

The age dilemma

During a meeting with an MD, he said, “thank you for helping us today. I understand your schedule is pretty tight.” I wasn’t sure what he meant but I told him I have already completed one deal last week. When I checked my schedule later, I found out I’m on 3 deals, 2 will take place this week and I’m swamped til mid March!

Oh well, at least the big kahunas acknowledge my hectic schedule, not that I play a big role to the department. In a way, I feel relieved that they know and appreciate that I’m busy. It does boost your morale, especially since a restructuring took place recently.

After months of ‘hibernation’, clocking 55 hours per week (60 if you include lunch time) over the past two weeks took a toll on me physically. Somehow the hours felt longer today and I was just feeling so fatigue that I told myself to leave work by 7pm. My body needs to adjust and I’m sure it gets there eventually.

Now you understand why I feel old. *sigh*

On a cheerful note, last weekend I managed to have a girls’ day out with mini B and friends. While trying to find a place at a cafe, a guy offered us to sit at his table, enough to accommodate our group and his. Probably he took pity seeing the lil one.

He asked, “is she your daughter?” I answered yes. He then said, “Ah, was about to ask you out.” My girlfriends had a wide grin on their face and quickly said, “but she is still single”.

“I suppose I can still ask you out then”, he responded with a smile.

I was triggered to share this incident as one of my favourite bloggers wrote a piece about dating younger men. This guy is tall (close to 6 feet), dark (a malay!) and deliciously handsome. Oh, he happens to be a player. Not that kind of player but like those professional sportsmen. So you can imagine his physical attributes. *winks*

As for the age gap, it is close to a decade! *gasp* Almost as long as my career. Very ikan bilis.

Two different snippets; one makes me feel old, one makes me feel younger (but 10 years age gap! You got to be kidding). *smack her head*

*Ms B is in dire need of a back massage. Perhaps it'd be a good idea to go out with The Player. She reckons that his hands must be firm.*

What keeps you awake?

“Sleep. It's the easiest thing to do. You just... close your eyes. But for so many of us, sleep seems out of our grasp. We want it, but, we don't know how to get it. But once we face our demons, face our fears, and turn to each other for help, night time is not so scary, because we realize, we are not all alone in the dark.”

Once I was asked, “what keeps you awake at night?” The question was posed as that person thought my life was stress-free.

I suppose I don’t strike as a person who worries a lot just by the way I live my life. Perhaps the combination of my upbringing and past experiences led me not to reveal my emotions too much. Surely a rational person has something to chew but it is how we want to handle it makes us different from one another.

I could list down many things that keep me awake; my role as a mother, a daughter, the eldest sibling, a woman or a friend. Of course on top of the list is my responsibility as a mother. I learn to prioritise the rest or at least, make them understand why I can’t possibly meet their expectations (and sometimes, my own).

There were moments that I felt I was a disappointment to myself. Probably it was because I pushed myself too hard. I was (and still am) a perfectionist, trying to be a constant juggler. As a friend mentioned recently, our line of work is very demanding and she takes her hat off for my willingness to join the wagon. I reckon I was plain stupid or lost my mind when I decided to take this path.

She was right by saying that I have strong support that makes this journey easier. I still have a long way to go by my own standard. Of late, I realise I am making progress such as speaking more during client’s meetings or conference calls, making myself known to jet-setting seniors MDs, learning to delegate my work to others etc.

So when my family and friends suggest that I should consider prolonging my stay, my initial response was “will I still be able to manage?” I understand their advice is for my own benefit. The experience I gain here is far valuable than what I could probably achieve back home. In addition to that, I get to cherish the wonderful moments with the lil one. As someone mentioned, the under-the-duvet moment with them is something that would be missed as they grow older.

We shouldn’t let fear stop us from pursuing our dreams. If we stumble during the process, we should not feel guilty for asking for help. Even if that fails, we should gather our inner strengths and trust our capabilities.

After all, if we don’t believe in our own dreams, how can we make others have faith in them?

Barely breathing

Picture taken from privatepracticeinsider.com

While I was having lunch at my desk, I felt someone touched my back. As I glanced, he came next to me and went down on his knees. Barely inches away, he whispered, saying he realised that my birthday fell over the weekend and wished.

All I could think of was pulling his head closer and placing a kiss. He is (un)fortunately damn good looking, with a nice set of lips and beautiful blue eyes. Of course I was more focused on his lips. They were soft pink, smooth and sweet. *drooling*

It took me by surprise that he knew my birthday as well as the breathtaking gesture. I was so smitten by the whole thing that it didn't matter to me that I'd have another late one this week. Tell me, who needs a boyfriend when fine-looking friends/colleagues keep doing things that a lover usually fails.

Shake it off woman! Just shake it off. He is just another regular colleague (who happens to be hot, inside out!).

But you bet it was a sweet touch to mark my birthday. *on cloud nine*

Of turning 35

Oh well, I lied. I still have a few years to reach there. I am still in my early 30s, blessed with the looks of a late 20s but sure as hell feel like 35, or probably more. Not that I want to turn back time. As much as I feel age is catching up on me, I doubt I’ll trade this journey.

I didn’t do much on my birthday. The night before, I took my girl out for a nice dinner. At midnight, I received a long distance phone call from a dear friend, probably a first in a very long time. In the morning, mini B greeted me with a card on her hand. Oh, I received another card as well. Thank you dear! I wouldn’t have minded the breadcrumbs, you know. *winks*

Then sms started to flow. It came from the usual people; family and a few friends. Mom wished that I’d get frequent promotions. I reckon she wants more Ashley’s stuff. *grins* A friend was being witty when I told him I felt old. His response was “women only reach their prime age in their late 30s.” Does this mean that I have at least five years to go to be considered exquisite? I thought I was already one, judging by the drama I had so far. *LOL*

Truthfully, I had a lovely time on my birthday. I was greeted by my loved ones, near and far. The phone call and cards made the day special. To add colours to my day, a friend felt I had a flare for language just by judging on the way I write. If only she knew that I was inspired by her to have better grasp in language. I remember back then how I wished my English was as good as her. In a way, I should thank her for leading me here.

So what did I wish for? I am not entirely sure. I mean, what would you ask when you have almost everything that you want?

Perhaps I should follow the rest and just make one. We never know when the fairies will grant our wish, eh?

So I wished for love. But this time, a little less drama will be much appreciated.

*Ms B needs to complete reading the Pixie Hollow’s collection soon if she doesn’t want to get into trouble with Mini B. Mini B keeps asking her questions about the fairies which she has no clue of, except for TinkerBell of course.

Light a candle

Picture from allposters.com

"Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."

My birthday is just around the corner. As much as I love to get presents from you, especially those home made cakes, cookies or muffins, I’d rather have my gifts delivered here. So if you have any spare cash hidden under the mattress (does anyone do that these days?), please donate some to those in need. But if you still have money to spend or time to bake, I still look forward to those cakes and cookies. *winks* *hint hint*.
**********************************

MERCY Malaysia has initiated an emergency response assessment team on the 30th December 2008 to Egypt in response to the humanitarian crisis resulting from the Israeli attacks on the Gaza Strip, which has killed more than 300 people and wounded more than 1,500 people.

The team, aimed at conducting a rapid assessment of the humanitarian needs, will be led by MERCY Malaysia President Datuk Dr. Jemilah Mahmood and EXCO Member Norazam Ab Samah.

We appeal to concerned Malaysians to send in cash donations.

MERCY Malaysia's basis of assistance to the beneficiaries relies on the support and generosity of individuals such as you to contribute to the PALESTINE RELIEF FUND.

It will support our efforts to procure emergency surgical kits, additional medicine and hospital equipment which will be channeled to the affected communities in Gaza.

PALESTINE RELIEF FUND

Cheque payable to MERCY MALAYSIA
CIMB Account No : 1424-000-6561053

For more information, please visit here.

Tragic romance

Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do? Give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are... and that pain you feel, it's life. The confusion and fear, that's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better... and that something is worth fighting for.

It was snowing while I was on my way to work. After almost two weeks of break, it was nice to start my first day back by those soft white flakes. Geared in my new leather knee high boots with the horseshoe charm attached to its zipper, I was ready to begin the week with a positive mind.

I have been meaning to write but each time, something seems to stop me from publishing my post. Sometimes I felt the post was not relevant to the current situation, thus I simply did not hit the publish button.

The snow was much welcomed, at least that was how I felt this morning. The morning walk felt a bliss. Perhaps it is a sign of hope that there will be better days. Not that I have been having rough moments but my days could be better.

A song discovered today prompted me to ask myself, ‘must I always be waiting for love?’ What if love has slipped away from your fingers due to circumstances, will you still be holding on to it? There are times that I feel I am too practical for my own good. I used to put my life on hold for others but now, the only person I am willing to do so is the lil one. So if love slips away, somehow it seems to lead to new opportunities (and these are not restricted to new love. Opportunities are subjective).
I would have to say no to that. Perhaps it hurts the people who used to be a part of my life. But then again, I always felt I was second best by them. Surely they would understand where I was coming from.

Or maybe they don’t, thinking that love should be a tragic romance.

La Ville-Lumière

The City of Lights, Paris. That’s where we were over the long weekend. Only for a day though. We spent three days at Marne-La-Vallée or commonly known as Disneyland Resort Paris. It takes only 35 minutes by rail from there to Paris city and costs only €13 for an adult daily ticket, covering 5 zones (including the metro in the City).

The architecture in Paris reflects attention to detail. You know you are in Paris just by looking at their windows. It makes me realized how fussy some of my British friends and colleagues can be on getting a Victorian style house. The Europeans are proud of their history, as seen on how they preserve the old designs.

Anyway, I’m sure you can read more about the city elsewhere. Personally, part of me feels that the city is a bit ghetto (is that right?). Their metro reminds me of New York. Not that I have been there but from what I can see in CSI NY, it has some resemblance. The people are carefree or perhaps, unruly. On that day alone, I’ve witnessed at least three people jumping over the ticket barrier gates in the metro. Blimey!

As for Disneyland, it’s a magical place. *smiles* Despite the freezing weather (at one point, the temperature dropped to minus 7 degrees. The ponds froze and the Skull Cave had icicles.), we had a great time. The shows, especially the ones held just for Xmas and New Year, were awesome. I think we covered all the special performances and parades, whilst the routine shows, only missed two. We also managed to get on more rides this time, tho we made sure that the waiting time was 15 minutes or less. Our toes would be numb by then, hence the cut-off time.

I thought we would come back to a warmer place but oh boy, how wrong we were. It seems that the freezing weather followed us back to London. However, it didn’t stop us from shopping. What do you expect? It’s Boxing Day sales and discounts were up to 70% (sometimes, up to 90%)! *grins*

It was definitely a well deserved break for both of us; the trip to Paris and shopping spree. Now I need to get a book shelf as Mini B got herself more books. We couldn’t resist good books, especially when they were selling 1/3 of their original price. Oh, I behaved. No handbags (thank God!).

I hope it is not too late to wish everyone Salam Maal Hijrah. Both of us would like to wish everyone Happy New Year! We would probably be in bed on NY eve, making sure the duvet keeps us warm. Perhaps we shall try to keep ourselves awake with a mug of hot chocolate. (yeah right?!?)

It also means that I'll be a year older next month. I wasn't planning to celebrate as most of my close friends have gone back for good (in the past, it was more for our kids to sing birthday song and have cakes). Mini B is still trying to get me to have a party but I reckon it is just an excuse for her to dress up. She's such a girl. *smiles*

Revisiting 2008

"The ties that bind us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic; Because some ties are simply... meant to be."

It is about a week before we say goodbye to 2008. The year has taught me a lot on relationships; friends, family, love. *chuckles on the last bit* Looking back, I think the subject that was revisited most was friendship.

There were moments that the subject was tested. A friend told me that over the years, we change as a result of our circumstances and sometimes, we could not connect to the people we were close to before. Unless they are a part of our present life, they can’t appreciate on the things that we go through.

I have also learnt that we have friends and acquaintances. I may know you in the past but you may not belong in the first group. I make no apology for wanting to be cautious when people from the past try to be reacquainted with me. As I replied to someone, once bitten twice shy. We never know the people we claim as friends are more than capable to throw us down, literally speaking. Perhaps it is also a reason why I stay away from Facebook. *LOL* I know it is a lame excuse but I think friendship is too precious to be declared to the whole wide world. I rather have my friends text, call or email (not forwarded emails of course! By the way, I usually delete them without reading).

I fail to understand the need for some people to think they have the luxury to criticise others when they don’t like to be criticised. Just because a person appears different, what gives us the right to comment on the way they look? Does that define their happiness? More often I see people who have them all; beauty, fame, wealth; seem to be lacking of that area. From a friend’s observation, some people may have lost the perfect look that they had but somehow they appear content with life.

I believe in the importance of being in a company of positive minded people. A good friend should have no problem to tell us that what we are doing is wrong. It keeps us grounded. Just as my friends and I tell each other we are yummy mummy or hot babes, we would tell each other idiots if we do something berserk.

Then, there are binds that we could not explain. I have friends for decades and probably see them once in a few years. Yet, we try our best to keep in touch and these days it seems I am able to call them more often than before (and I hope they are not bored yet with my constant phone calls.*grins*). Somehow, despite the time and distance, the moment we meet and catch up, it feels we pick up just where we left. I hope the ties that bind us remain strong.

I will be taking a long leave and as much as I hope to write before the year ends, past experience indicates that I usually don’t when I become a SAHM. Mini B takes most of my time (shopping, coffee, cooking etc). I would like to take this opportunity to wish you happy holidays. Make the most of the remaining days of 2008.

What do you wish for?

Christmas is just around the corner. We decided to go to The Shopping Mall of the West End. We didn’t have anything planned for the day and I thought to check out the new place. The crowd was manageable. The lil one felt it reminded her of the malls back home. We went in and out of shops, trying to find a pair of boots for me but as always, we always find things that we want and not that we need. I found a few very nice pairs of shoes. It was very tempting to grab them but guilt consumed me, thus I managed to control those urges. Perhaps it could be the reason why I can’t sleep tonight as the image of the shoes keeps appearing. Hopefully I won’t dream of them.

I know it is not easy to prioritise our shopping list. The way we handle the list will usually correlate with our circumstances; students, working persons, singles, couples, parents etc. It is expected for grown-ups to have that thinking.

Yet, to see the same process is applied by my girl touches me. After all, she is a child who has many things in her wish list. She hardly asks for anything, even when we are in a shop full of fancy toys. All she’d do is to have a look and explore. The exception is books, whereby if she likes something, there is no need for her to ask. I will get them as I know she never gets bored.

I also realise how much she appreciates other things in life. Just the other day she had her school play and she knew I’d be coming along. She didn’t expect to see her “sisters” to be there. It really made her day. She was smiling and full of cheerful vibes for the whole day.

For this Christmas, I know what she is wishing for. I am sure that will make her happy. As for me, I suppose Christmas came early with the presence of good friends and warm thoughts from loved ones afar.

So what do you wish for?

Forgive yourself

I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.'

If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that.

The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.
-- Maya Angelou --

It takes courage to ask for forgiveness. We try to be a good person but as human, we sometimes make mistakes. We then ask for forgiveness, whether or not the person will accept our apology. The idea of forgiveness is not only to acknowledge that we have done an error, but also to give peace to ourselves. If we hold on to our past, we can never move on.

Similarly, we don’t have to wait for the person to apologize for their mistake. It is easier to forgive without being asked.

Just by taking the step to say that you are sorry, you have become a better person than before. Even if they choose not to accept, the least you can do is to forgive yourself.

Men - vinegar or vintage?

“Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.”

When we are in our 20s, I reckon most of us will never consider going out with guys who are more than a decade older than us. In fact, I’d think again if the age gap is more than five years.

Then we reach our 30s and somehow, the idea of dating older men seems not bad at all. In fact, it is probably because by then we have more things in common to talk about. When we are at our peak of climbing the corporate world, who would be the best person to give advice other than those who have been there before? Our taste in arts and entertainment slowly shifts and merges closely with men in this age group. Also, by then our topic of discussion starts to revolve around bigger life issues (instead of handbags and shoes).

Some people think that middle aged men have nothing in common with women who are almost half of their age, hence they criticise. Who are we to judge on maturity? I have seen men who act like boys with no sense of responsibilities. At the same time, some girls have the maturity twice of their age as a result of life experiences. Sometimes love can be nurtured, with patience and respect. The qualities are usually found in fine men.

Some women hesitate to go out with these men even when they are eligible with great personality as they are concerned of what people might think. As one of you highlighted, happiness is subjective. Besides, what is there to talk about when the guy has no strings attached? I am only wary of men who claim to have mid life crisis (tell me why is this only applies to men? I have yet to hear women with similar issues). These men never seem to stop at one. As a guy once mentioned, “it’s no longer mid life crisis. That’s considered as perpetuity.” *LOL*

Anyway, don’t you want to go out with them if they fall under the most eligible bachelor with personality one can only dream of? If a single middle aged man looks like below, I’d gladly put on that red cocktail dress and accept a date. *winks* Well, I think he’s hot, thus explains why I rather spend my Friday nights at home and watch him.

- Gibbs in NCIS -

Is he yours?

Booth: Caroline went through a lot of trouble to get you private visitation with your father and now you don't want it.
Bones: The Federal Detention facility already has visiting areas.
Booth: Yeah, behind two inch glass, I mean, now you'll be able to give your old man, you know, a hug. (He hugs her from the side as they are walking)
Bones: I didn't ask for special treatment, Booth.
Booth: That's because you don't have to, because you are special.

My arms and thighs are sore. As much as I’d like to claim that it was due to an activity which had elements of kinkiness and sexiness, I have to disappoint you. They are in pain as a result of me taking care of my director’s baby. She had nanny crisis and took her son to work as she couldn’t reschedule her meetings. The boy somehow clicked with me instantly and since I wasn’t that busy, I looked after him while my director attended her matter. He is HUGE for his age! When I whisked him off to my director’s room, a colleague of mine said how natural I was with the baby. I replied by saying, “I should as I have one myself.” My colleague had a blank face and he wasn’t the only one. My secretary later told that some people asked if I indeed have a child.

One of the things that my senior MD shared during my interview was how she managed to climb the corporate ladder and juggling her life as a mother. She kept them separate and information was shared on need to know basis. People should judge you by how you perform. At least you know that whatever rating you get, you are benchmarked against your peers and assumed to have similar circumstances.

Anyway, back to this other director. When she came back from her meetings, she poured her heart out and thanked me for managing her son well. It kept her mind at peace and she could focus on her tasks. I understand where she was coming from. At present, her partner is away on business trip and she just couldn’t imagine how I manage. I said I have the support from people around me; friends, nannies, etc. It felt weird to be comforting and advising your superiors when usually they are the ones who play that role.

So that was another highlight for the week, being the nanny while at work. *grins* Tho someone asked if he was my child and that my partner must be really white that the boy has no Asian looks at all. *LOL* Mini B wasn’t that pleased knowing I spent the day with him. “I thought I am your only baby”, she said.

Yet she keeps asking me for a baby. Hmmmm.....

Collide

We enter the world alone and we leave it alone and everything that happens in between we owe it to ourselves to find a little company. We need help, we need support, otherwise we are in it by ourselves. Strangers, cut off from each other, and we forget, just how connected we all are. So instead, we choose love, we choose life, and, for a moment, we feel just a little bit less alone.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend today. We talked about life as a single woman. We agreed that it has some perks. It is not that we are discounting the life of a married person. It is just that for some of us, being single give us more flexibility to do things. As we are both close to family and love hanging out with friends, we can spend more time with them with less guilt or no question asked.

Undoubtedly, some of us prefer to remain solo due to responsibility such as taking care of family members. In these circumstances, it applies to both genders. I have seen a few men who choose to lead a life without a partner as they put their loved ones first. Factors include ageing parents, dependent siblings or being the sole breadwinner for the family.

Then you have people like me who choose to be single again as we put our children’s needs above ours. My whole life is about the lil one and her needs are my priority. It gives me joy to be able to be a part of her life, to see her growing up, to watch her school performances (and make sure that my secretary blocks my diary for her school’s events) etc.

My friend said perhaps our status works best for our situation. No two persons are the same. We could relate how a friend has a wonderful partner who shares her values and interests. We reckon that until we meet someone who understands and accepts us for who we are, we are doing fine with the way things are.

Strange enough, sometimes I feel I already have that person, touching my life in a way he possibly can. My eid was special this year as I had a good friend to spend it with.

Sacrifice

A willingness to make sacrifices in our lives in order to stay on the Straight Path. Each of us makes small sacrifices, giving up things that are fun or important to us. A true Muslim, one who submits his or herself completely to the Lord, is willing to follow Allah's commands completely and obediently. It is this strength of heart, purity in faith, and willing obedience that our Lord desires from us.

I am grateful to be given the opportunity to be here, especially with the current state of the economy. I could see how it benefits the lil one. She has transformed from a fragile and timid little girl to this confident young lady. She has achieved a lot for her age and for this year school play, she’s going to be the narrator. Apparently it is a big part but mummy dearest was a bit clueless until she stressed out the importance of the role.

Knowing that I am considered as an asset means that I should maximise this opportunity. I shall continue staying here and contribute as much as I can. I understand that it also means we have to sacrifice other aspects in life. For both of us, it is being away from our loved ones; family and friends.

Yet, knowing the sacrifices that some of my friends have to make, mine is nothing. If our heart and mind is at the right path, somehow things will be ok.

Salam aidil adha from both of us. May you have a blessed eid.

Crazy rumors

I have never tried this lip balm before but the name and description sounds ironic. *winks*

Rumour has it that something bad happened to me today. Some people saw me kept going to the toilet and thought something must have made me upset. I suppose it was as it prompted a director to approach me and asked if everything was ok.

I blame it on the curry that I had during lunch and the annoying zits on my forehead when I need to look gorgeous for my date tomorrow. I reckon the latter made me checked the mirror at the loo often and tried to minimise the damage. My director laughed and said how people simply love to speculate.

Now, if I show up at work on Friday with a glow on my face, will that mean people think that I may have gotten lucky the night before (since some know that I have a date)? Or better, the big O? *lol* *evil thoughts*

Ah, perhaps I shall leave them guessing. Too many depressing news in the market that I think I should make the department livelier with my almost non-existence love life.

Right, about these zits. *mulling over on how to make it less annoying*

We are not together, are we?

picture taken from Elizabethtown
Claire Colburn: You know, you’re always trying to break up with me, and we're not even together.
Drew Baylor: I know... We're not?

What would you do when you realise you have a crush on someone and that person happens to be a good friend? Do you keep your feelings hidden for the sake of friendship, or would you take the risk and finally let that person know how you truly feel for him/her?

There are moments in our life that we’d meet someone and instantly feel connected to them. Somehow the chemistry seems right and we’d end up being good friends. Yet the same chemistry could also lead to falling in love and some only realise after years of knowing each other.

Why is it easier for us to profess our feelings to a person we’ve only met, say for a few months, than to a person who has known us for our lifetime? Could it be of the idea of familiarity? Is it because we have known each other inside out that make us hesitate to let our feelings known? Or perhaps the idea of rejection should the feelings is not mutual? What will we lose should that happen? I suppose it is our friendship that has been built over the years. The rejection will somehow affect the relationship and to go back where we left before will probably be awkward.

Yet, if that person is really worth it, surely we should take the risk. After all, what is more worst, to be rejected and impair the friendship which could probably be repaired after a few months of reconciliation between two good friends, or to not know what would have been if we had taken the risk?

There is nothing worse than missing an opportunity that could probably lead to a lifelong happiness.

*Ms B hopes this answers another question posed. She reckons it could be a quiet week due to work commitment. She will continue blog hopping for stress reliever.*

Fashionista

Dear Ms B,

Someone advised me that I need to change my appearance in order to get the attention from the opposite sex. It is a fair comment but the thing is, I don't even know how or where to start.

Can you please help me out here?

From,
Jane
************************
Disclaimer, this Jane is not our Blogger Jane. I've been asked on this topic for a few times. I thought it'd a good idea to write about this as I believe my friends here are more experienced and knowledgeable than me.

First of all, I don't believe you should change the way you look because of other people. If you want to do it, make sure it is for the right reason. Do it because you want to feel good about yourself and not about impressing others.

Second, baby steps. If you are like me who wear jeans, top and trainers throughout her entire life, you might want to try something easy. Perhaps a dab of lip gloss and basic powder. Try one of those all-in-one face bases. The whole thing will only take you about 2 minutes max.

As for your attire, maintain what you like and what makes you comfortable. There is no point wearing that gorgeous dress if you keep on thinking and checking to avoid any wardrobe malfunction. Instead, maybe you could try different colors and cutting. The next time you hit the stores, take a top in 2 to 3 colors and try it on. With the right tone and cutting, you will get the look that you wish for. I notice that if we try something bold (e.g. red), it somehow gives a boost to our confidence level.

Not forgetting the importance of color coordination. Just use whatever you have in your current collection and try mix and match accordingly. For those who don the scarf, it is easier to look appealing as what I notice. Most of my close friends wear them and oh my, they look lovely. The right kind of scarf does wonders to how a person looks.

You might have heard KISS but for the purpose of this posting, keep it simple and sweet. *winks*

Baby steps Jane..baby steps.

I am not a fashionista so any tips from my yummilicious bloggers and readers are much appreciated. *begging them with a sweet smile*

*Ms B is smitten yet unsure what caused her so. She needs to mull over the subject.*

Spark

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~ Albert Schweitzer

Please accept my heartfelt thanks for your wise and kind words. Just when I thought I should give up the idea of writing, your words have encouraged me to continue. As I look back at the times when I had my rough days and poured my heart out here, it was you who gave your time to read and lifted my spirits up despite not knowing who I was (and still am to most).

Thank you to my lovely blogger friends and silent good-hearted readers. Thank you for giving me that spark. I hope I have touched your life in a way I could possibly have just like what you have done for me.

*Ms B apologises for this short entry as she is down with a bug. She just wanted to tell how much she was moved by the words received. She hopes she gets a good night sleep and dreams of a juicy topic to be posted next.*

IGNORANCE IS A BLISS

Brennan: Wait, you said that in books you could find the real world version.
Booth: Yeah, well, I mean, if you know you, it's pretty obvious.
Brennan: Well, give me an example.
Booth: Ok. Well, in your book, your partner is a former Olympic boxer who graduated from Harvard and spoke six different languages. In real life, you've got me.
Brennan: So what you're saying is that reality falls far, far short of fictional.

Booth: Yeah, thanks a lot, Bones.

I blog because of I love writing. I suppose it is something that I have in common with my mother. She is good with literature, at par with Kak Teh I reckon. I am nowhere like my mother or in blog's world, Kak Teh, D, NJ or Pugly. They write extremely well and I love their selection of words.

I may not be as good or as "femes" (copyright from Kak Teh) as them, but hey, it doesn't stop me from writing. I love keeping my readers entertained, even if it requires me to do some research despite having a corporate jet-setting career (courtesy from NJ) and being a single parent. Some are my own recollections and as every writer, we have to squeeze our creative juice so that the readers have a feel of the story.

So if you read my blog and think that my real life is far short from what I write, then just stop coming! Besides, I thought in blogosphere, one is entitled to each opinion. As a dear friend said, "some people have this PhD attitude." (no offence to D, Inah or LilHappyMe. She wasn't referring to the doctorate certificate. *winks*).

Instead of spending time here, why dont you do yourself a favour by doing something more beneficial such as reading self help books or related to your job, taking a course or whatever. Besides, as I always say to others:

IGNORANCE IS A BLISS!!!

*Ms B is thankful that she has selective amnesia. She wonders why some people think that they are still in high school.*

updated at 2300:

Thank you for the sms (feel guilty after reading ur post today. yet u still made time for me) and the brownies all the way from aussie. Not to mention Ms Versatile who got back from work at 10pm and still picked up the phone. She reckons I should get a new pair of shoes. *LOL* So yeah, I am feeling fine.

Tag

I was tagged by inah.

Rules of the tag:
1.Take a recent picture of yourself OR take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair…just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture.
5. Tag people to do this.

However, due to confidentiality, she was kind enough to amend the rules for my sake. So here it goes Inah, a picture of a book in my collection:


Anyone wants to have a go with the tag? Probably Jane, Darlene, CG, n.i. or momster (have you recovered from your jet lag dear?).

*Mini B was feeling under the weather a few days ago but it didn't stop her from going to school and attending her swimming lesson. She also got a new pair of knee high boots from Russell & Bromley. Mummy said they were on sales, cheaper than Clarks. Oh, apparently Boxing day sales will start a week early for some shops. Mini B hopes mummy dearest wont ask her to tag along.*

Art of seduction

Most virtue is a demand for greater seduction – Natalie Barney

Over the weekend, we did our usual trip to the book shop. While waiting for her, I usually pick a book to fill my time, which on average takes about 1 ½ hours. A book caught my attention, thin enough to keep me entertained. Oh by the way, just in case if you think I'm exploiting the shop for free, we usually get 3-5 books a month from the same shop. *grins*. Anyway, below is the excerpt from the book reproduced for the sheer pleasure for you ladies:

*****************************************
We all have the power of attraction—the ability to draw people in and hold them in our thrall. Far from all of us, though, are aware of this inner potential, and we imagine attractiveness instead as a near-mystical trait that a select few are born with and the rest will never command. Yet all we need to do to realize our potential is understand what it is in a person's character that naturally excites people and develop these latent qualities within us.

The Siren
The Siren is the ultimate make fantasy figure because she offers a total release from the limitations of his life. In her presence, which is always heightened and sexually charged, the male feels transported to a world of pure pleasure. She is dangerous, and in pursuing her energetically the man can lose control over himself, something he yearns to do. The Siren is a mirage; she lures men by cultivating a particular appearance and manner.

The Ideal Lover
Most people have dreams in their youth, but they get shattered and worn away with age. Ideal lovers thrive on people's broken dreams, which become lifelong fantasies. You long for romance? Adventure? Lofty spiritual communications? The ideal lover reflects this. He or she is an artist in creating the illusion you require. In a world of disenchantment, and baseness, there is limitless seductive power in following the path of the ideal lover.

The Dandy
Dandies excite us because they cannot be categorized, and hint at a freedom we want for ourselves. They play with masculinity and femininity; they fashion their own physical image, which is always startling. Use the power of the Dandy to create an ambiguous, alluring presence that stirs repressed desires.

The Natural
Childhood is the golden paradise we are always consciously or unconsciously trying to re-create. The Natural embodies the longed-for qualities of childhood—spontaneity, sincerity, unpretentiousness. In the presence of Naturals, we feel at ease, caught up in their playful spirit, transported back to that golden age. Adopt the pose of the Natural to neutralize people's defensiveness and infect them with helpless delight.

The Coquettes
The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction—while waiting, the victim is held in thrall. Coquettes are the grand masters of the game, orchestrating a back-and-forth movement between hope and frustration. They bait with the promise of reward—the hope of physical pleasure, happiness, fame by association, power—all of which, however, proves elusive; yet this only makes their targets pursue them the more.

The Charmer
Charm is seduction without sex. Charmers are consummate manipulators, masking their cleverness by creating a mood of pleasure and comfort. Their method is simple: They deflect attention from themselves and focus it on their target. They understand your spirit, feel your pain, adapt to your moods. In the presence of a Charmer you feel better about yourself. Learn to cast the Charmer's spell by aiming at people's primary weaknesses: vanity and self-esteem.

The Charismatic
Charisma is a presence that excites us. It comes from an inner quality—self-confidence, sexual energy, sense of purpose, contentment—that most people lack and want. This quality radiates outward, permeating the gestures of Charismatics, making them seem extraordinary and superior. They learn to heighten their charisma with a piercing gaze, fiery oratory, an air of mystery. Create the charismatic illusion by radiating intensity while remaining detached.

The Star
Daily life is harsh, and most of us constantly seek escape from it in fantasies and dreams. Stars feed on this weakness; standing out from others through a distinctive and appealing style, they make us want to watch them. At the same time, they are vague and ethereal, keeping their distance, and letting us imagine more than is there. Their dreamlike quality works on our unconscious. Learn to become an object of fascination by projecting the glittering but elusive presence of the Star.

*****************************************
I didn't finish reading it. I read just enough for me to analyse which type I fall under. *winks* I believe the book did mention that it was not about getting someone into bed (although I am sure we love the idea, eh?). *evil thoughts* On contrary, it is about being the object of desire by knowing your greatest asset, which may not necessarily be physical attributes, and the character of the person you wish to be your admirer.

You can review (actually, read) the book here. *winks* Oh, do I get chocolates or cookies for posting this?

So which seducer are you?

Faking & blending

Booth: Yeah, by now I usually have a feel for the person, what they wanted, how they felt, what was going on in their lives. With this girl, nothing.
Brennan: She thought she was ugly. She did everything she could to make herself beautiful. And all she did was make herself more invisible.

I caught up with Professor Fox yesterday, a friend who has known me for almost 2 decades (crap! Now I really feel old.*rolling eyes*). We talked about people from the past and how our society has changed. It was not the first that I heard about people becoming materialistic. In fact, I was told that there was a show which covered the worrying trend among the young(er) generation of resorting to “tapping their assets” for an easy way to a comfortable life.

When I first started working, the pay was peanuts compared to the responsibilities and hours. I never heard of fine brands and probably didn’t have time to shop anyway. Whenever I had to work long hours, I saw it as an opportunity to learn and improve my skills. In fact, once my MD apologised for making me staying late to help him with his presentation materials with the Board. I was heavily pregnant then.

Almost a decade later, despite being able to shop at Sloane Street or New Bond St, I still maintain the same rules on spending. Whenever I go back, I shop like a Malaysian. I love Vincci, Jusco, Tesco etc. I still think twice to buy something worth more than MYR50 because I remember back then, that amount was considered excessive.

I suppose since my circle of friends share similar traits, I find it strange when I hear their complaints of the society. For those who are in managerial posts, the woes often consist of the lack of determination among the young ones and their dissatisfaction with pay. Of course a graduate’s salary is never enough to buy Gucci or Prada. They either charge it to the credit cards, get a rich man (or woman) to help out or for those who can’t find one, they turn to fake goods.

People want to fit in. I get it. We change our appearances to blend in or to gain targeted people for fame or whatever reason. Probably it is because I have gazillions things on my mind that I don’t have the thoughts of blending in. But then again, I am known for being a weirdo anyway as my close friends have observed e.g. selective amnesia, life changing decisions, impromptu actions. It is also one of the reasons why I only have and maintain a handful of friends.

How far would a person go just to be accepted? It seems that there is no limit. When everything is superficial, what makes us unique then?

Perhaps it is also another reason why my friendship with Professor Fox remains strong despite the distance and time. Being able to buy fine things is nice but having good friends who enjoy a cup of teh tarik with you is way much cooler (and yes Fox dearie, I am workaholic as before but slowed down a lot).

*Ms B wanted to post about the art of seduction which she thinks her readers would love to read. She needs to do more research before posting*

Sexy juice, anyone?

Booth: Okay, news bulletin for ya'. Bones, there is not a, guy in this country who wouldn't want to have sex with you. Probably half the gay men ...
Brennan: Are you being nice about me, or awful about British men?
Booth: Wexler is not special, you are.

Of late, I've had interesting discussion with friends. The topics were mostly about dating and relationships. A friend mentioned that he hardly asks anyone out due to his appearance. I couldn’t believe my ears upon hearing as I think he has great personality. He even has a good career, thus he has to look good for board meetings etc. Yet, deep inside he feels he is a John Doe.

Then I told him, “did I ever mention that I was hardly noticed in high school and uni? Hardly anyone asked me out.”

He was shocked, “then what happened?”

I told him that I was a late bloomer. My work grooms me to appear immaculate and being a mother forces me to be fit. Try to keep pace with a growing child, then you’d understand. The thing is, I never expect to be getting this much of attention at my age. I’m in my 30s and a mother with a demanding career! Do the math. Men would go for young girls or women with less issues.

I think with experience and this age, I have less expectation with dates. Then again, when a guy insists that he wants to take me out on a proper date, complete with wine and dine, I usually decline. Often the best dates I had were with someone unexpected e.g. an old friend and did simple things e.g. coffee. I guess it is a bonus when they happen to be yummilicious inside and outside. *winks*

I believe everyone has their chance to shine. Never underestimate a plain jane or john. I don’t blame my friends for feeling like that despite looking like a babe or hunk now. Often we can’t get rid of the past. The good thing is that, with people like this, we enjoy simplicity.

So to those Jane or John, if you happen to fancy that hunk or babe, just ask them out. If you happen to be that hunk or babe, just give these people a chance. Go out and enjoy the moment. You never know what’s in store.

Anyway, today my department decides to do some charity. We are “penalised” for wearing casuals and the proceeds go to charity. I thought my colleagues look good in their suits. Today, they proved me otherwise in their jeans. They look HOT!!!! Oh, did I mention some of my colleagues are seriously yummy? Remember the most eligible MD in my department that I wrote about some time ago? He was practically hanging out near my desk for some time and I just couldn’t breathe. All I could think was undressing him. *LOL* *evil thoughts*

So to my female viewers, have fun with this clip:

Cringe moments

I decided to take Kak Teh's challenge tho I must say, being this boring lot like me, I hardly had any cringe moment. I shall try my best.

Cringe moment 1:
While talking to a gf on the type of materials that I prefer to wear, I said “latex is good too as it feels smooth on your body.” A bunch of guys were seated next to us had a big grin on their face upon hearing. I meant to say lycra. Probably they thought I was into something kinky.

Cringe moment 2:
My girl and her BFF were talking about the view that they got in the changing room at the swimming centre. They spoke about the glory of the jungles and how one differed from another. Then the lil one said out loud, “well, my mummy doesn’t have one. She does her waxing all the time.”
We were having lunch at a restaurant by the way and suffice to say, many eyebrows raised and some eyes winked upon hearing.

The following cringe moments are not mine but worth mentioning.

Cringe moment 3:
During my second visit at this particular cafe, almost everyone behind the counter remembered my name as well as some of the regulars. I was impressed, kept going and became close to another regular. By the 3rd and 4th visit, I was already getting free coffees without fail. I found out it came from Mr Latte, the regular who was always friendly and sometimes flirted with me. This went on for almost a month but neither of us had another’s phone number. Then one day, after wishing me good night, I suddenly asked him in front of everyone, “So when are you going to ask for my phone number?”

The rest of the guys smacked their heads and looked at this guy, signalling how stupid he was for waiting for so long. Mr Latte blushed and asked for my number.

Cringe moment 4:
While having breakfast on a nice Saturday morning, a guy asked if it was ok for him to sit opposite me. I said he could and he started his pick up line, “why does a beautiful woman like you sit all by herself?” I then replied that some of us enjoy having breakfast on our own. He then continued bragging about himself and I tried hard to maintain a straight face. We later found out that a junior of mine back in uni was his school mate. He kept asking for my number and since we had a common friend, I gave mine.

I went home and when the lil one woke up, I took her and the nanny out. The guy started to call and it was not even an hour after I left the restaurant. He kept asking me to go out with him that day but I declined politely. I think he called at least 3 times in less than 2 hours after we met!

Then a few hours later, he called and said, “why didn’t you tell me that you are married with kids? I called Guy A to get information about you. He obviously knew where I was heading and told me, “dude, she’s married and has a daughter. You are way out of your league”. Do you know how foolish I felt?”

My reply, “well, you didn’t ask if I was married or single.”

Served him right! Next time, don’t bug me when I am enjoying my breakfast. My friend, Guy A, and I, had so much fun talking about this.

Good nite everyone!

Meeting new people

Angela: Just have fun. You know, every once in a while you might meet somebody who's worth it.
Amy: What if he's not?
Angela: Then you've got something else to paint about.

One of the sacrifices that come along with this role is my beauty sleep. For the last 2 weeks, I’ve had a few of 8am meetings. My office hours officially starts at 930am, thus I had to wake up an hour earlier. I felt like a zombie as I had a late one last night. I was out on a date. *winks* A good friend was in town and we went for late night shopping. I always love taking a stroll along Regent and Oxford St during winter despite the weather. But I suppose more often, the strolls are taken with someone close to my heart. Anyway, we took a cab from there to our usual hangout to have dinner.

So there we were, enjoying conversation and companionship. I told Big the current roller coaster of my life. Perhaps I’m so used of being and feeling like a plain Jane that I find it hard to believe that anyone is genuinely attracted to me. I also told him that I don’t understand the need of mixed signals. Why is it when I’m fine with them not wanting me that they start to give the extra TLC? Then he said, “Who says you are a plain jane? Men find you more attractive when they see that you are content by being alone and that you don’t need them. Hence they start to chase you with greater effort.”

Ah, now it makes some sense. But it leads me back to square one.

Big: “For all you know, there could be a new person that might appear along the way.”

Then today, at my meeting, I made a new friend. He thought I was a graduate. *LOL* It means I’m almost 10 years younger. I told him that I’m old and have a daughter in primary school. He gave his business card (and as usual, I forgot to give mine. Typical!). When I got back to my desk, I dropped him an email and said thanks for the words. For a woman, it is a big compliment. He replied, “it was great bumping into you this morning.” There was a smiley in his email too. I wouldn’t expect a smiley icon coming from a senior person. *smiles* Lunch or coffees are expected as his office is just next to my building. I think he appreciates the fact that I have experiences in his sector. I think so. Otherwise, why would he even bother to take time to talk to me anyway?

But I hate it when Big is right.

Of history and dreams

Mini B: Do you know who is Martin Luther King, mummy?
Me: Who is he, honey?
Mini B: He was the famous African American who fought for human rights for african american people. During the old days, people were mean to the african americans. He said that no matter what colour is your skin, we are all people. He also won the Nobel prize. His famous speach was "I have a dream".

She told me about Martin Luther King a few weeks back and whenever we see his picture, she'd quickly say his name. I suppose after this, she'll remember Obama too, being the first black president.

Coming back to my girl, when we first came here, she was timid in every way. She hardly spoke a complete sentence in English. The first few months in nursery, she was very quiet and lacked of confidence.

Now, she is the only Malaysian in her school and it doesn't stop her from being a school council (by election). On top of that, she was awarded merit or top 2 in her class last term. She also signed up for violin lessons and this term, she has asked me if she can join the Mandarin club. Her after-school activities include religious studies, additional school work as I bought activity books and language lessons. I must give all credits to her as they are her initiatives. She sets her own target and plans her diary. She reminds the nanny on what she needs to do for the day.

Looking at her and how much she has grown, I know we are doing fine. As Obama said in his speech, "And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can."

Never doubt your dreams for only you can make the changes.

Obama's full transcipt can be found here:

The hot date

The top question for today was, "Any dates with yummy men this week?"

OMG!!! I couldn’t believe myself when I saw the incoming texts from a few friends. I thought women were more interested in handbag than candy men. Mrs Cooper, the 1st person I called to share my latest steal was interested in my love life (not that I have one. She meant the dates of course). It is not that she didn’t care about the handbag. Mind you, she has been persuading me to get them for ages. She knows me too well when it comes to spending for myself, hence explains why she always reminds me to splurge.

Despite telling the girls of the bag, they were all interested in yummy men. Hey, it's not like as if I get hot dates all the time. Besides, I have other things to do such as reading (I bought 2 books but they are still untouched), completing this DVD box set, watching my favourite TV shows etc. FYI, I have declined dates in the past simply because they clashed with my favourite series.

I will choose the TV and sofa over a candy man anytime (unless of course if he doesn’t mind coming over and watch it with me, preferably with a bucket of ice cream). *winks*

In case you are wondering, my date for tonight is:

The magic word

I have been eyeing this handbag for a few months now. I told myself that it will be in my wish list for this coming December's sales.

Then today, one of my Sifus, The Iron Lady, is in town and wanted to catch up. We took a stroll to her favourite place, New Bond St, as she wanted to get a red handbag (she gave hers to her daughter). Knowing her, if she finds something she likes, she'll buy them (with or without discounts). Perhaps it was our lucky day. While browsing in our favourite store, the sales assistant said the magic word. Yup. Some of the items were on sale for the day.

I ended up with this (it is the closest design I could find. Mine is soft black non-shiny leather with a bit of silver metal on the handle):

Looks like I have to ditch the boogie bag from the wish list (or probably I can postpone it to Easter. That way, I wont feel guilty. Or pray harder for a decent bonus). *rolling eyes* But I just bought a handbag 4 months ago. Sigh. A woman simply couldnt resist the magic word. By the way, it was really a good bargain.

The lil one responded differently tho, "I know this shop. You always get their handbags. But why didnt you bring me to go shopping? I thought I was your fashion consultant." Gulp! It is not helping at all knowing my girl has fine taste. I'd end up shopping more!