Light a candle

Picture from allposters.com

"Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."

My birthday is just around the corner. As much as I love to get presents from you, especially those home made cakes, cookies or muffins, I’d rather have my gifts delivered here. So if you have any spare cash hidden under the mattress (does anyone do that these days?), please donate some to those in need. But if you still have money to spend or time to bake, I still look forward to those cakes and cookies. *winks* *hint hint*.
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MERCY Malaysia has initiated an emergency response assessment team on the 30th December 2008 to Egypt in response to the humanitarian crisis resulting from the Israeli attacks on the Gaza Strip, which has killed more than 300 people and wounded more than 1,500 people.

The team, aimed at conducting a rapid assessment of the humanitarian needs, will be led by MERCY Malaysia President Datuk Dr. Jemilah Mahmood and EXCO Member Norazam Ab Samah.

We appeal to concerned Malaysians to send in cash donations.

MERCY Malaysia's basis of assistance to the beneficiaries relies on the support and generosity of individuals such as you to contribute to the PALESTINE RELIEF FUND.

It will support our efforts to procure emergency surgical kits, additional medicine and hospital equipment which will be channeled to the affected communities in Gaza.

PALESTINE RELIEF FUND

Cheque payable to MERCY MALAYSIA
CIMB Account No : 1424-000-6561053

For more information, please visit here.

Tragic romance

Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do? Give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are... and that pain you feel, it's life. The confusion and fear, that's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better... and that something is worth fighting for.

It was snowing while I was on my way to work. After almost two weeks of break, it was nice to start my first day back by those soft white flakes. Geared in my new leather knee high boots with the horseshoe charm attached to its zipper, I was ready to begin the week with a positive mind.

I have been meaning to write but each time, something seems to stop me from publishing my post. Sometimes I felt the post was not relevant to the current situation, thus I simply did not hit the publish button.

The snow was much welcomed, at least that was how I felt this morning. The morning walk felt a bliss. Perhaps it is a sign of hope that there will be better days. Not that I have been having rough moments but my days could be better.

A song discovered today prompted me to ask myself, ‘must I always be waiting for love?’ What if love has slipped away from your fingers due to circumstances, will you still be holding on to it? There are times that I feel I am too practical for my own good. I used to put my life on hold for others but now, the only person I am willing to do so is the lil one. So if love slips away, somehow it seems to lead to new opportunities (and these are not restricted to new love. Opportunities are subjective).
I would have to say no to that. Perhaps it hurts the people who used to be a part of my life. But then again, I always felt I was second best by them. Surely they would understand where I was coming from.

Or maybe they don’t, thinking that love should be a tragic romance.

La Ville-Lumière

The City of Lights, Paris. That’s where we were over the long weekend. Only for a day though. We spent three days at Marne-La-Vallée or commonly known as Disneyland Resort Paris. It takes only 35 minutes by rail from there to Paris city and costs only €13 for an adult daily ticket, covering 5 zones (including the metro in the City).

The architecture in Paris reflects attention to detail. You know you are in Paris just by looking at their windows. It makes me realized how fussy some of my British friends and colleagues can be on getting a Victorian style house. The Europeans are proud of their history, as seen on how they preserve the old designs.

Anyway, I’m sure you can read more about the city elsewhere. Personally, part of me feels that the city is a bit ghetto (is that right?). Their metro reminds me of New York. Not that I have been there but from what I can see in CSI NY, it has some resemblance. The people are carefree or perhaps, unruly. On that day alone, I’ve witnessed at least three people jumping over the ticket barrier gates in the metro. Blimey!

As for Disneyland, it’s a magical place. *smiles* Despite the freezing weather (at one point, the temperature dropped to minus 7 degrees. The ponds froze and the Skull Cave had icicles.), we had a great time. The shows, especially the ones held just for Xmas and New Year, were awesome. I think we covered all the special performances and parades, whilst the routine shows, only missed two. We also managed to get on more rides this time, tho we made sure that the waiting time was 15 minutes or less. Our toes would be numb by then, hence the cut-off time.

I thought we would come back to a warmer place but oh boy, how wrong we were. It seems that the freezing weather followed us back to London. However, it didn’t stop us from shopping. What do you expect? It’s Boxing Day sales and discounts were up to 70% (sometimes, up to 90%)! *grins*

It was definitely a well deserved break for both of us; the trip to Paris and shopping spree. Now I need to get a book shelf as Mini B got herself more books. We couldn’t resist good books, especially when they were selling 1/3 of their original price. Oh, I behaved. No handbags (thank God!).

I hope it is not too late to wish everyone Salam Maal Hijrah. Both of us would like to wish everyone Happy New Year! We would probably be in bed on NY eve, making sure the duvet keeps us warm. Perhaps we shall try to keep ourselves awake with a mug of hot chocolate. (yeah right?!?)

It also means that I'll be a year older next month. I wasn't planning to celebrate as most of my close friends have gone back for good (in the past, it was more for our kids to sing birthday song and have cakes). Mini B is still trying to get me to have a party but I reckon it is just an excuse for her to dress up. She's such a girl. *smiles*

Revisiting 2008

"The ties that bind us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic; Because some ties are simply... meant to be."

It is about a week before we say goodbye to 2008. The year has taught me a lot on relationships; friends, family, love. *chuckles on the last bit* Looking back, I think the subject that was revisited most was friendship.

There were moments that the subject was tested. A friend told me that over the years, we change as a result of our circumstances and sometimes, we could not connect to the people we were close to before. Unless they are a part of our present life, they can’t appreciate on the things that we go through.

I have also learnt that we have friends and acquaintances. I may know you in the past but you may not belong in the first group. I make no apology for wanting to be cautious when people from the past try to be reacquainted with me. As I replied to someone, once bitten twice shy. We never know the people we claim as friends are more than capable to throw us down, literally speaking. Perhaps it is also a reason why I stay away from Facebook. *LOL* I know it is a lame excuse but I think friendship is too precious to be declared to the whole wide world. I rather have my friends text, call or email (not forwarded emails of course! By the way, I usually delete them without reading).

I fail to understand the need for some people to think they have the luxury to criticise others when they don’t like to be criticised. Just because a person appears different, what gives us the right to comment on the way they look? Does that define their happiness? More often I see people who have them all; beauty, fame, wealth; seem to be lacking of that area. From a friend’s observation, some people may have lost the perfect look that they had but somehow they appear content with life.

I believe in the importance of being in a company of positive minded people. A good friend should have no problem to tell us that what we are doing is wrong. It keeps us grounded. Just as my friends and I tell each other we are yummy mummy or hot babes, we would tell each other idiots if we do something berserk.

Then, there are binds that we could not explain. I have friends for decades and probably see them once in a few years. Yet, we try our best to keep in touch and these days it seems I am able to call them more often than before (and I hope they are not bored yet with my constant phone calls.*grins*). Somehow, despite the time and distance, the moment we meet and catch up, it feels we pick up just where we left. I hope the ties that bind us remain strong.

I will be taking a long leave and as much as I hope to write before the year ends, past experience indicates that I usually don’t when I become a SAHM. Mini B takes most of my time (shopping, coffee, cooking etc). I would like to take this opportunity to wish you happy holidays. Make the most of the remaining days of 2008.

What do you wish for?

Christmas is just around the corner. We decided to go to The Shopping Mall of the West End. We didn’t have anything planned for the day and I thought to check out the new place. The crowd was manageable. The lil one felt it reminded her of the malls back home. We went in and out of shops, trying to find a pair of boots for me but as always, we always find things that we want and not that we need. I found a few very nice pairs of shoes. It was very tempting to grab them but guilt consumed me, thus I managed to control those urges. Perhaps it could be the reason why I can’t sleep tonight as the image of the shoes keeps appearing. Hopefully I won’t dream of them.

I know it is not easy to prioritise our shopping list. The way we handle the list will usually correlate with our circumstances; students, working persons, singles, couples, parents etc. It is expected for grown-ups to have that thinking.

Yet, to see the same process is applied by my girl touches me. After all, she is a child who has many things in her wish list. She hardly asks for anything, even when we are in a shop full of fancy toys. All she’d do is to have a look and explore. The exception is books, whereby if she likes something, there is no need for her to ask. I will get them as I know she never gets bored.

I also realise how much she appreciates other things in life. Just the other day she had her school play and she knew I’d be coming along. She didn’t expect to see her “sisters” to be there. It really made her day. She was smiling and full of cheerful vibes for the whole day.

For this Christmas, I know what she is wishing for. I am sure that will make her happy. As for me, I suppose Christmas came early with the presence of good friends and warm thoughts from loved ones afar.

So what do you wish for?

Forgive yourself

I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.'

If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that.

The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.
-- Maya Angelou --

It takes courage to ask for forgiveness. We try to be a good person but as human, we sometimes make mistakes. We then ask for forgiveness, whether or not the person will accept our apology. The idea of forgiveness is not only to acknowledge that we have done an error, but also to give peace to ourselves. If we hold on to our past, we can never move on.

Similarly, we don’t have to wait for the person to apologize for their mistake. It is easier to forgive without being asked.

Just by taking the step to say that you are sorry, you have become a better person than before. Even if they choose not to accept, the least you can do is to forgive yourself.

Men - vinegar or vintage?

“Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.”

When we are in our 20s, I reckon most of us will never consider going out with guys who are more than a decade older than us. In fact, I’d think again if the age gap is more than five years.

Then we reach our 30s and somehow, the idea of dating older men seems not bad at all. In fact, it is probably because by then we have more things in common to talk about. When we are at our peak of climbing the corporate world, who would be the best person to give advice other than those who have been there before? Our taste in arts and entertainment slowly shifts and merges closely with men in this age group. Also, by then our topic of discussion starts to revolve around bigger life issues (instead of handbags and shoes).

Some people think that middle aged men have nothing in common with women who are almost half of their age, hence they criticise. Who are we to judge on maturity? I have seen men who act like boys with no sense of responsibilities. At the same time, some girls have the maturity twice of their age as a result of life experiences. Sometimes love can be nurtured, with patience and respect. The qualities are usually found in fine men.

Some women hesitate to go out with these men even when they are eligible with great personality as they are concerned of what people might think. As one of you highlighted, happiness is subjective. Besides, what is there to talk about when the guy has no strings attached? I am only wary of men who claim to have mid life crisis (tell me why is this only applies to men? I have yet to hear women with similar issues). These men never seem to stop at one. As a guy once mentioned, “it’s no longer mid life crisis. That’s considered as perpetuity.” *LOL*

Anyway, don’t you want to go out with them if they fall under the most eligible bachelor with personality one can only dream of? If a single middle aged man looks like below, I’d gladly put on that red cocktail dress and accept a date. *winks* Well, I think he’s hot, thus explains why I rather spend my Friday nights at home and watch him.

- Gibbs in NCIS -

Is he yours?

Booth: Caroline went through a lot of trouble to get you private visitation with your father and now you don't want it.
Bones: The Federal Detention facility already has visiting areas.
Booth: Yeah, behind two inch glass, I mean, now you'll be able to give your old man, you know, a hug. (He hugs her from the side as they are walking)
Bones: I didn't ask for special treatment, Booth.
Booth: That's because you don't have to, because you are special.

My arms and thighs are sore. As much as I’d like to claim that it was due to an activity which had elements of kinkiness and sexiness, I have to disappoint you. They are in pain as a result of me taking care of my director’s baby. She had nanny crisis and took her son to work as she couldn’t reschedule her meetings. The boy somehow clicked with me instantly and since I wasn’t that busy, I looked after him while my director attended her matter. He is HUGE for his age! When I whisked him off to my director’s room, a colleague of mine said how natural I was with the baby. I replied by saying, “I should as I have one myself.” My colleague had a blank face and he wasn’t the only one. My secretary later told that some people asked if I indeed have a child.

One of the things that my senior MD shared during my interview was how she managed to climb the corporate ladder and juggling her life as a mother. She kept them separate and information was shared on need to know basis. People should judge you by how you perform. At least you know that whatever rating you get, you are benchmarked against your peers and assumed to have similar circumstances.

Anyway, back to this other director. When she came back from her meetings, she poured her heart out and thanked me for managing her son well. It kept her mind at peace and she could focus on her tasks. I understand where she was coming from. At present, her partner is away on business trip and she just couldn’t imagine how I manage. I said I have the support from people around me; friends, nannies, etc. It felt weird to be comforting and advising your superiors when usually they are the ones who play that role.

So that was another highlight for the week, being the nanny while at work. *grins* Tho someone asked if he was my child and that my partner must be really white that the boy has no Asian looks at all. *LOL* Mini B wasn’t that pleased knowing I spent the day with him. “I thought I am your only baby”, she said.

Yet she keeps asking me for a baby. Hmmmm.....

Collide

We enter the world alone and we leave it alone and everything that happens in between we owe it to ourselves to find a little company. We need help, we need support, otherwise we are in it by ourselves. Strangers, cut off from each other, and we forget, just how connected we all are. So instead, we choose love, we choose life, and, for a moment, we feel just a little bit less alone.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend today. We talked about life as a single woman. We agreed that it has some perks. It is not that we are discounting the life of a married person. It is just that for some of us, being single give us more flexibility to do things. As we are both close to family and love hanging out with friends, we can spend more time with them with less guilt or no question asked.

Undoubtedly, some of us prefer to remain solo due to responsibility such as taking care of family members. In these circumstances, it applies to both genders. I have seen a few men who choose to lead a life without a partner as they put their loved ones first. Factors include ageing parents, dependent siblings or being the sole breadwinner for the family.

Then you have people like me who choose to be single again as we put our children’s needs above ours. My whole life is about the lil one and her needs are my priority. It gives me joy to be able to be a part of her life, to see her growing up, to watch her school performances (and make sure that my secretary blocks my diary for her school’s events) etc.

My friend said perhaps our status works best for our situation. No two persons are the same. We could relate how a friend has a wonderful partner who shares her values and interests. We reckon that until we meet someone who understands and accepts us for who we are, we are doing fine with the way things are.

Strange enough, sometimes I feel I already have that person, touching my life in a way he possibly can. My eid was special this year as I had a good friend to spend it with.

Sacrifice

A willingness to make sacrifices in our lives in order to stay on the Straight Path. Each of us makes small sacrifices, giving up things that are fun or important to us. A true Muslim, one who submits his or herself completely to the Lord, is willing to follow Allah's commands completely and obediently. It is this strength of heart, purity in faith, and willing obedience that our Lord desires from us.

I am grateful to be given the opportunity to be here, especially with the current state of the economy. I could see how it benefits the lil one. She has transformed from a fragile and timid little girl to this confident young lady. She has achieved a lot for her age and for this year school play, she’s going to be the narrator. Apparently it is a big part but mummy dearest was a bit clueless until she stressed out the importance of the role.

Knowing that I am considered as an asset means that I should maximise this opportunity. I shall continue staying here and contribute as much as I can. I understand that it also means we have to sacrifice other aspects in life. For both of us, it is being away from our loved ones; family and friends.

Yet, knowing the sacrifices that some of my friends have to make, mine is nothing. If our heart and mind is at the right path, somehow things will be ok.

Salam aidil adha from both of us. May you have a blessed eid.

Crazy rumors

I have never tried this lip balm before but the name and description sounds ironic. *winks*

Rumour has it that something bad happened to me today. Some people saw me kept going to the toilet and thought something must have made me upset. I suppose it was as it prompted a director to approach me and asked if everything was ok.

I blame it on the curry that I had during lunch and the annoying zits on my forehead when I need to look gorgeous for my date tomorrow. I reckon the latter made me checked the mirror at the loo often and tried to minimise the damage. My director laughed and said how people simply love to speculate.

Now, if I show up at work on Friday with a glow on my face, will that mean people think that I may have gotten lucky the night before (since some know that I have a date)? Or better, the big O? *lol* *evil thoughts*

Ah, perhaps I shall leave them guessing. Too many depressing news in the market that I think I should make the department livelier with my almost non-existence love life.

Right, about these zits. *mulling over on how to make it less annoying*

We are not together, are we?

picture taken from Elizabethtown
Claire Colburn: You know, you’re always trying to break up with me, and we're not even together.
Drew Baylor: I know... We're not?

What would you do when you realise you have a crush on someone and that person happens to be a good friend? Do you keep your feelings hidden for the sake of friendship, or would you take the risk and finally let that person know how you truly feel for him/her?

There are moments in our life that we’d meet someone and instantly feel connected to them. Somehow the chemistry seems right and we’d end up being good friends. Yet the same chemistry could also lead to falling in love and some only realise after years of knowing each other.

Why is it easier for us to profess our feelings to a person we’ve only met, say for a few months, than to a person who has known us for our lifetime? Could it be of the idea of familiarity? Is it because we have known each other inside out that make us hesitate to let our feelings known? Or perhaps the idea of rejection should the feelings is not mutual? What will we lose should that happen? I suppose it is our friendship that has been built over the years. The rejection will somehow affect the relationship and to go back where we left before will probably be awkward.

Yet, if that person is really worth it, surely we should take the risk. After all, what is more worst, to be rejected and impair the friendship which could probably be repaired after a few months of reconciliation between two good friends, or to not know what would have been if we had taken the risk?

There is nothing worse than missing an opportunity that could probably lead to a lifelong happiness.

*Ms B hopes this answers another question posed. She reckons it could be a quiet week due to work commitment. She will continue blog hopping for stress reliever.*

Fashionista

Dear Ms B,

Someone advised me that I need to change my appearance in order to get the attention from the opposite sex. It is a fair comment but the thing is, I don't even know how or where to start.

Can you please help me out here?

From,
Jane
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Disclaimer, this Jane is not our Blogger Jane. I've been asked on this topic for a few times. I thought it'd a good idea to write about this as I believe my friends here are more experienced and knowledgeable than me.

First of all, I don't believe you should change the way you look because of other people. If you want to do it, make sure it is for the right reason. Do it because you want to feel good about yourself and not about impressing others.

Second, baby steps. If you are like me who wear jeans, top and trainers throughout her entire life, you might want to try something easy. Perhaps a dab of lip gloss and basic powder. Try one of those all-in-one face bases. The whole thing will only take you about 2 minutes max.

As for your attire, maintain what you like and what makes you comfortable. There is no point wearing that gorgeous dress if you keep on thinking and checking to avoid any wardrobe malfunction. Instead, maybe you could try different colors and cutting. The next time you hit the stores, take a top in 2 to 3 colors and try it on. With the right tone and cutting, you will get the look that you wish for. I notice that if we try something bold (e.g. red), it somehow gives a boost to our confidence level.

Not forgetting the importance of color coordination. Just use whatever you have in your current collection and try mix and match accordingly. For those who don the scarf, it is easier to look appealing as what I notice. Most of my close friends wear them and oh my, they look lovely. The right kind of scarf does wonders to how a person looks.

You might have heard KISS but for the purpose of this posting, keep it simple and sweet. *winks*

Baby steps Jane..baby steps.

I am not a fashionista so any tips from my yummilicious bloggers and readers are much appreciated. *begging them with a sweet smile*

*Ms B is smitten yet unsure what caused her so. She needs to mull over the subject.*

Spark

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~ Albert Schweitzer

Please accept my heartfelt thanks for your wise and kind words. Just when I thought I should give up the idea of writing, your words have encouraged me to continue. As I look back at the times when I had my rough days and poured my heart out here, it was you who gave your time to read and lifted my spirits up despite not knowing who I was (and still am to most).

Thank you to my lovely blogger friends and silent good-hearted readers. Thank you for giving me that spark. I hope I have touched your life in a way I could possibly have just like what you have done for me.

*Ms B apologises for this short entry as she is down with a bug. She just wanted to tell how much she was moved by the words received. She hopes she gets a good night sleep and dreams of a juicy topic to be posted next.*

IGNORANCE IS A BLISS

Brennan: Wait, you said that in books you could find the real world version.
Booth: Yeah, well, I mean, if you know you, it's pretty obvious.
Brennan: Well, give me an example.
Booth: Ok. Well, in your book, your partner is a former Olympic boxer who graduated from Harvard and spoke six different languages. In real life, you've got me.
Brennan: So what you're saying is that reality falls far, far short of fictional.

Booth: Yeah, thanks a lot, Bones.

I blog because of I love writing. I suppose it is something that I have in common with my mother. She is good with literature, at par with Kak Teh I reckon. I am nowhere like my mother or in blog's world, Kak Teh, D, NJ or Pugly. They write extremely well and I love their selection of words.

I may not be as good or as "femes" (copyright from Kak Teh) as them, but hey, it doesn't stop me from writing. I love keeping my readers entertained, even if it requires me to do some research despite having a corporate jet-setting career (courtesy from NJ) and being a single parent. Some are my own recollections and as every writer, we have to squeeze our creative juice so that the readers have a feel of the story.

So if you read my blog and think that my real life is far short from what I write, then just stop coming! Besides, I thought in blogosphere, one is entitled to each opinion. As a dear friend said, "some people have this PhD attitude." (no offence to D, Inah or LilHappyMe. She wasn't referring to the doctorate certificate. *winks*).

Instead of spending time here, why dont you do yourself a favour by doing something more beneficial such as reading self help books or related to your job, taking a course or whatever. Besides, as I always say to others:

IGNORANCE IS A BLISS!!!

*Ms B is thankful that she has selective amnesia. She wonders why some people think that they are still in high school.*

updated at 2300:

Thank you for the sms (feel guilty after reading ur post today. yet u still made time for me) and the brownies all the way from aussie. Not to mention Ms Versatile who got back from work at 10pm and still picked up the phone. She reckons I should get a new pair of shoes. *LOL* So yeah, I am feeling fine.

Tag

I was tagged by inah.

Rules of the tag:
1.Take a recent picture of yourself OR take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair…just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture.
5. Tag people to do this.

However, due to confidentiality, she was kind enough to amend the rules for my sake. So here it goes Inah, a picture of a book in my collection:


Anyone wants to have a go with the tag? Probably Jane, Darlene, CG, n.i. or momster (have you recovered from your jet lag dear?).

*Mini B was feeling under the weather a few days ago but it didn't stop her from going to school and attending her swimming lesson. She also got a new pair of knee high boots from Russell & Bromley. Mummy said they were on sales, cheaper than Clarks. Oh, apparently Boxing day sales will start a week early for some shops. Mini B hopes mummy dearest wont ask her to tag along.*

Art of seduction

Most virtue is a demand for greater seduction – Natalie Barney

Over the weekend, we did our usual trip to the book shop. While waiting for her, I usually pick a book to fill my time, which on average takes about 1 ½ hours. A book caught my attention, thin enough to keep me entertained. Oh by the way, just in case if you think I'm exploiting the shop for free, we usually get 3-5 books a month from the same shop. *grins*. Anyway, below is the excerpt from the book reproduced for the sheer pleasure for you ladies:

*****************************************
We all have the power of attraction—the ability to draw people in and hold them in our thrall. Far from all of us, though, are aware of this inner potential, and we imagine attractiveness instead as a near-mystical trait that a select few are born with and the rest will never command. Yet all we need to do to realize our potential is understand what it is in a person's character that naturally excites people and develop these latent qualities within us.

The Siren
The Siren is the ultimate make fantasy figure because she offers a total release from the limitations of his life. In her presence, which is always heightened and sexually charged, the male feels transported to a world of pure pleasure. She is dangerous, and in pursuing her energetically the man can lose control over himself, something he yearns to do. The Siren is a mirage; she lures men by cultivating a particular appearance and manner.

The Ideal Lover
Most people have dreams in their youth, but they get shattered and worn away with age. Ideal lovers thrive on people's broken dreams, which become lifelong fantasies. You long for romance? Adventure? Lofty spiritual communications? The ideal lover reflects this. He or she is an artist in creating the illusion you require. In a world of disenchantment, and baseness, there is limitless seductive power in following the path of the ideal lover.

The Dandy
Dandies excite us because they cannot be categorized, and hint at a freedom we want for ourselves. They play with masculinity and femininity; they fashion their own physical image, which is always startling. Use the power of the Dandy to create an ambiguous, alluring presence that stirs repressed desires.

The Natural
Childhood is the golden paradise we are always consciously or unconsciously trying to re-create. The Natural embodies the longed-for qualities of childhood—spontaneity, sincerity, unpretentiousness. In the presence of Naturals, we feel at ease, caught up in their playful spirit, transported back to that golden age. Adopt the pose of the Natural to neutralize people's defensiveness and infect them with helpless delight.

The Coquettes
The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction—while waiting, the victim is held in thrall. Coquettes are the grand masters of the game, orchestrating a back-and-forth movement between hope and frustration. They bait with the promise of reward—the hope of physical pleasure, happiness, fame by association, power—all of which, however, proves elusive; yet this only makes their targets pursue them the more.

The Charmer
Charm is seduction without sex. Charmers are consummate manipulators, masking their cleverness by creating a mood of pleasure and comfort. Their method is simple: They deflect attention from themselves and focus it on their target. They understand your spirit, feel your pain, adapt to your moods. In the presence of a Charmer you feel better about yourself. Learn to cast the Charmer's spell by aiming at people's primary weaknesses: vanity and self-esteem.

The Charismatic
Charisma is a presence that excites us. It comes from an inner quality—self-confidence, sexual energy, sense of purpose, contentment—that most people lack and want. This quality radiates outward, permeating the gestures of Charismatics, making them seem extraordinary and superior. They learn to heighten their charisma with a piercing gaze, fiery oratory, an air of mystery. Create the charismatic illusion by radiating intensity while remaining detached.

The Star
Daily life is harsh, and most of us constantly seek escape from it in fantasies and dreams. Stars feed on this weakness; standing out from others through a distinctive and appealing style, they make us want to watch them. At the same time, they are vague and ethereal, keeping their distance, and letting us imagine more than is there. Their dreamlike quality works on our unconscious. Learn to become an object of fascination by projecting the glittering but elusive presence of the Star.

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I didn't finish reading it. I read just enough for me to analyse which type I fall under. *winks* I believe the book did mention that it was not about getting someone into bed (although I am sure we love the idea, eh?). *evil thoughts* On contrary, it is about being the object of desire by knowing your greatest asset, which may not necessarily be physical attributes, and the character of the person you wish to be your admirer.

You can review (actually, read) the book here. *winks* Oh, do I get chocolates or cookies for posting this?

So which seducer are you?

Faking & blending

Booth: Yeah, by now I usually have a feel for the person, what they wanted, how they felt, what was going on in their lives. With this girl, nothing.
Brennan: She thought she was ugly. She did everything she could to make herself beautiful. And all she did was make herself more invisible.

I caught up with Professor Fox yesterday, a friend who has known me for almost 2 decades (crap! Now I really feel old.*rolling eyes*). We talked about people from the past and how our society has changed. It was not the first that I heard about people becoming materialistic. In fact, I was told that there was a show which covered the worrying trend among the young(er) generation of resorting to “tapping their assets” for an easy way to a comfortable life.

When I first started working, the pay was peanuts compared to the responsibilities and hours. I never heard of fine brands and probably didn’t have time to shop anyway. Whenever I had to work long hours, I saw it as an opportunity to learn and improve my skills. In fact, once my MD apologised for making me staying late to help him with his presentation materials with the Board. I was heavily pregnant then.

Almost a decade later, despite being able to shop at Sloane Street or New Bond St, I still maintain the same rules on spending. Whenever I go back, I shop like a Malaysian. I love Vincci, Jusco, Tesco etc. I still think twice to buy something worth more than MYR50 because I remember back then, that amount was considered excessive.

I suppose since my circle of friends share similar traits, I find it strange when I hear their complaints of the society. For those who are in managerial posts, the woes often consist of the lack of determination among the young ones and their dissatisfaction with pay. Of course a graduate’s salary is never enough to buy Gucci or Prada. They either charge it to the credit cards, get a rich man (or woman) to help out or for those who can’t find one, they turn to fake goods.

People want to fit in. I get it. We change our appearances to blend in or to gain targeted people for fame or whatever reason. Probably it is because I have gazillions things on my mind that I don’t have the thoughts of blending in. But then again, I am known for being a weirdo anyway as my close friends have observed e.g. selective amnesia, life changing decisions, impromptu actions. It is also one of the reasons why I only have and maintain a handful of friends.

How far would a person go just to be accepted? It seems that there is no limit. When everything is superficial, what makes us unique then?

Perhaps it is also another reason why my friendship with Professor Fox remains strong despite the distance and time. Being able to buy fine things is nice but having good friends who enjoy a cup of teh tarik with you is way much cooler (and yes Fox dearie, I am workaholic as before but slowed down a lot).

*Ms B wanted to post about the art of seduction which she thinks her readers would love to read. She needs to do more research before posting*

Sexy juice, anyone?

Booth: Okay, news bulletin for ya'. Bones, there is not a, guy in this country who wouldn't want to have sex with you. Probably half the gay men ...
Brennan: Are you being nice about me, or awful about British men?
Booth: Wexler is not special, you are.

Of late, I've had interesting discussion with friends. The topics were mostly about dating and relationships. A friend mentioned that he hardly asks anyone out due to his appearance. I couldn’t believe my ears upon hearing as I think he has great personality. He even has a good career, thus he has to look good for board meetings etc. Yet, deep inside he feels he is a John Doe.

Then I told him, “did I ever mention that I was hardly noticed in high school and uni? Hardly anyone asked me out.”

He was shocked, “then what happened?”

I told him that I was a late bloomer. My work grooms me to appear immaculate and being a mother forces me to be fit. Try to keep pace with a growing child, then you’d understand. The thing is, I never expect to be getting this much of attention at my age. I’m in my 30s and a mother with a demanding career! Do the math. Men would go for young girls or women with less issues.

I think with experience and this age, I have less expectation with dates. Then again, when a guy insists that he wants to take me out on a proper date, complete with wine and dine, I usually decline. Often the best dates I had were with someone unexpected e.g. an old friend and did simple things e.g. coffee. I guess it is a bonus when they happen to be yummilicious inside and outside. *winks*

I believe everyone has their chance to shine. Never underestimate a plain jane or john. I don’t blame my friends for feeling like that despite looking like a babe or hunk now. Often we can’t get rid of the past. The good thing is that, with people like this, we enjoy simplicity.

So to those Jane or John, if you happen to fancy that hunk or babe, just ask them out. If you happen to be that hunk or babe, just give these people a chance. Go out and enjoy the moment. You never know what’s in store.

Anyway, today my department decides to do some charity. We are “penalised” for wearing casuals and the proceeds go to charity. I thought my colleagues look good in their suits. Today, they proved me otherwise in their jeans. They look HOT!!!! Oh, did I mention some of my colleagues are seriously yummy? Remember the most eligible MD in my department that I wrote about some time ago? He was practically hanging out near my desk for some time and I just couldn’t breathe. All I could think was undressing him. *LOL* *evil thoughts*

So to my female viewers, have fun with this clip:

Cringe moments

I decided to take Kak Teh's challenge tho I must say, being this boring lot like me, I hardly had any cringe moment. I shall try my best.

Cringe moment 1:
While talking to a gf on the type of materials that I prefer to wear, I said “latex is good too as it feels smooth on your body.” A bunch of guys were seated next to us had a big grin on their face upon hearing. I meant to say lycra. Probably they thought I was into something kinky.

Cringe moment 2:
My girl and her BFF were talking about the view that they got in the changing room at the swimming centre. They spoke about the glory of the jungles and how one differed from another. Then the lil one said out loud, “well, my mummy doesn’t have one. She does her waxing all the time.”
We were having lunch at a restaurant by the way and suffice to say, many eyebrows raised and some eyes winked upon hearing.

The following cringe moments are not mine but worth mentioning.

Cringe moment 3:
During my second visit at this particular cafe, almost everyone behind the counter remembered my name as well as some of the regulars. I was impressed, kept going and became close to another regular. By the 3rd and 4th visit, I was already getting free coffees without fail. I found out it came from Mr Latte, the regular who was always friendly and sometimes flirted with me. This went on for almost a month but neither of us had another’s phone number. Then one day, after wishing me good night, I suddenly asked him in front of everyone, “So when are you going to ask for my phone number?”

The rest of the guys smacked their heads and looked at this guy, signalling how stupid he was for waiting for so long. Mr Latte blushed and asked for my number.

Cringe moment 4:
While having breakfast on a nice Saturday morning, a guy asked if it was ok for him to sit opposite me. I said he could and he started his pick up line, “why does a beautiful woman like you sit all by herself?” I then replied that some of us enjoy having breakfast on our own. He then continued bragging about himself and I tried hard to maintain a straight face. We later found out that a junior of mine back in uni was his school mate. He kept asking for my number and since we had a common friend, I gave mine.

I went home and when the lil one woke up, I took her and the nanny out. The guy started to call and it was not even an hour after I left the restaurant. He kept asking me to go out with him that day but I declined politely. I think he called at least 3 times in less than 2 hours after we met!

Then a few hours later, he called and said, “why didn’t you tell me that you are married with kids? I called Guy A to get information about you. He obviously knew where I was heading and told me, “dude, she’s married and has a daughter. You are way out of your league”. Do you know how foolish I felt?”

My reply, “well, you didn’t ask if I was married or single.”

Served him right! Next time, don’t bug me when I am enjoying my breakfast. My friend, Guy A, and I, had so much fun talking about this.

Good nite everyone!