Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Expectations

Daddy has left.

Last night, me and the little one had a heart-to-heart talk, about life, our home, our hopes. Funny that it’s easier to talk to a five year old kid than to an adult.

I ask for her forgiveness. For being here, for not going back. I told her, there is no guarantee that life will be better for me and her if we go back. There is no guarantee that we will be taken care of.

People back home miss her. But at the end of the day, the responsibility of taking care of her will fall on me. I remember the times we struggled, when she was sick and I drove her in the middle of the night to see the doctor, or when I was hospitalised, the constant ringing on the phone when I left her for a few hours at the grand-parents place (with my maid) when I had to study for my exam, the times that I woke her up in the middle of the night to spend some time with her because I was working late.

Never again will I go through that phase. Never again will I allow people criticise the way I raise my girl. Never again will I allow guilt for leaving my girl in their hands, even if it’s meant for a good cause.

If they miss her, where are the phone calls? Where are the birthday wishes? Why complain when she’s left at your care? Don’t give excuses. Try to be there when they need one the most.

Family is important. It hurts when you are surrounded by people who should be caring for you but they don’t bother. At least by being away, I have excuses why they don’t seem to care. At least by being away, we stop having expectations.

I learn that love and care comes from the unexpected. A simple act of kindness always brightens your day. When you stop hoping and having expectations, any gestures will make your day.

We are happier here. Home is where we have each other, me and the little one.

2 comments:

Tisha! said...

Home is where the heart is. I was moved by your post and wish you both much courage and love.

Tisha

Ms B said...

Tisha: Thank you! I find my strength and courage in her eyes.