About men and fathers

Sometimes you think a person has changed for the better or at least learnt from past events. But each time I feel so, something will come up to say or prove otherwise.

Being separated doesn't mean you have to be enemies. I try hard to ensure my kid knows that her father loves her dearly and she will always be his number one Princess. But you reach to a point that it takes that person to make the effort to show some care or attention, and not just you alone. I call her father at least once a week so that she could talk to him. At times, she will ask why her father doesn't call her and you just get tired making up excuses. And today, I smsed him, telling that she was sick and asked him to call and talk to her. It didn't surprise me that he asked for the house number again.

I gave our new address and contact details right after we moved. It was hardly a month ago! It just annoys me that here is a man who is so preoccupied with his life to even take note on his daughter whereabouts or welfare. He is too absorbed in making himself look good, spends his money on decorating his apartment or as he says it in his 'classified', 'my kingdom of leisure', bought a brand new car with fancy sport rims, and now, he is too busy taking pictures of himself, just like a model. He just loves himself too much.

I don't expect him to be a better man. Of course, deep inside you will always have this hope that the person who used to be part of your life will change. It's just typical to feel that way. Yet thinking what I went through, I realise that I'm better off without him, emotionally. And I think is about time I make myself accept that my girl is also better off without him.

We have survived so far without him by our side. I have raised her by myself, physically, emotionally and financially for the last two years. In fact, like my friends said, I was already a single parent when she was born. The only difference was he contributed some of the expenses during the first four years of our marriage. Now, I have to ask for nafkah or child support which is minimal compare to what he earns. What is £100 per month against £20k worth of car?

Letting go is always hard. Guess it is about time for me and my girl to move on.