Sweet child of mine

She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry

I emailed one of my Sifus that I met his ex-colleague. The Flying Dutchman knew a lot about him and I presumed they were close. However, Sifu couldn’t recall who Flying Dutchman was and asked for some description. All I said was that he is really good looking and looks young for his age. He could be almost a decade older than me but he looks like in early 30s, quite a catch, Orlando Bloom’s body (of course I didn’t disclose these details to Sifu).

My Sifu on the other hand replied, “Single? Available? Go for it!” huh??? I felt like smacking my head when I read his email. I know Sifu meant well. All of them are. During my trip back, another Sifu said something similar, “for now, you have the lil one but she’s growing up. One day, you would want to have a companion.”

I have been a single parent for a few years now. In fact, close friends said that I have been managing the family by myself ever since the lil one was born. For as long as I can remember I have been on my own, literally speaking. The only difference between now and then is that I have my girl by my side.

And you know what? Despite there were times that I felt my life was falling apart, I had many sweet memories. My girl was a cheerful baby. She was always smiling and laughing. They were contagious, mind you. Even at my lowest point, a look at her face would make me smile. Sometimes when I was studying late night (for my professional exam) and felt stressed out, I just crawled in bed and snuggled next to her. I would probably be the only mom who would wake her daughter up after coming home late from work (due to unrealistic deadline) just to play with her. Others would be glad that their kids were already in bed but me, I would try my best to wake her up and spend some time to play. The moment she opened her eyes, she’d giggle and smooch me.

Now my baby is a young girl, doing extremely well. She has built a strong confidence level over the years. People speak immaculate things about her. Today she received the “School Council” badge. I think the Student Council works closely with the Principal in organising school events and liaising students’ issues. I can see she’s happy with her achievement.

I know my life is blessed, especially with a beautiful daughter. Yet, even she wants me to have my happily ever after.

The truth is, I dont even know whether I am capable to be committed in a relationship. My priority will always be her and if a man decides that he wants to be with me, he has to be prepared for that.

Or perhaps because of that, they will make their exit...