The date (or not so)?

The moment I received his text saying he has arrived, I started to panic. At one point, I wanted to call it off. But how could I as all these while, we always meet up whenever he is in town.

That night we met. I decided to upgrade my outfit. Instead the regular jeans and plain t shirt I always wear each time we hang out, I chose the new floral dress (which I bought just for this summer and trip back home). It is knee length, A-shape, slim cutting. It looks very demure and sweet (bro says so. I trust his words). Still, I didn’t wear any make up. Just a little bit of lip gloss. I was still in my plain Jane mode, just wearing a dress instead.

I was a nervous wreck. I rehearsed what to say over and over inside my head for the last few days. Yet, that night, the moment our eyes set on to each other, I lost my words. Somehow, the feeling of being at home was the right way to describe.

And it was the best three days I ever had. Being in a company of a dear friend.

Do you know the feeling of being on cloud nine, the spark you feel for someone, the chemical reaction etc. The feeling you usually have when you are going out with someone you really like/fancy/love .

Well, honestly speaking, I didn’t feel any of the above. As far as I remember, in the last 11 years of dating or in a relationship, I usually have those feelings with the guys I adore. Now it makes me wonder, since the relationships failed, could it be the feelings was not a strong indicator to make judgement?

The past few days, I reflected our dates. Somehow, we are new to this i.e. dating each other, yet, the way we were behaving, from dining out to trying to catch a movie at two different cinemas (the tix sold out), it was as if we have been a couple for a long time. The comfort feeling. Just being ourselves.

A few months ago, I decided to focus my energy and mind on my own wellbeing. I had enough of the McDreamy types and didn’t want anyone around. In other words, I stopped looking and focussed on my inner happiness. I never felt calmer.

But he showed up. Well, he didn’t show up, he has always been there. But somehow, this time, I noticed him and vice versa. Since he is a friend, I made it clear that I am not ready to be emotionally attached to anyone.

And what makes it weirder, I realise he has the qualities I always wish for in a man (and I know these men never exist!). He is a simple, straight forward person. He may hold a senior post, but he prefers simplicity when it comes to stuffs. From cars to clothes to food. He has only one watch, just like me! (I had mine for 10 years and only changed it this year cos the Godfather gave me a new one as a birthday gift). And he finds it interesting that I am a girl who enjoys her regular morning breakfast, teh tarik and roti canai at the usual mamak, eating there all by herself while reading the newspaper. It’s my routine each time I go back.

Like I said, I am not ready to be emotionally attached. So I will not fall (or trying hard not to). All I can say is that, the past few days, I felt I was at home.

ps: Of course it is a bonus that he is a "Candy Man". *winks*