Friday, January 05, 2007

Embracing the new age

I’m hosting a party tomorrow at a restaurant selected by the lil one. Birthday party and pay rise. Just among good friends. It’s a way of thanking them for being there for us, the good and not-so-good times. I don’t like using ‘bad’. I try not to use the ‘negative’ words. Don’t know, just trying to be more positive.

Anyway, how does it feel to be 30? Old I guess. It’s the prime age. Most of the time, you know where you are heading. I’m not entirely sure I’m one of them. A few years ago, I had a different thinking cap. I had everything planned. Family, career etc. I thought by now, I would have had 2 kids, having a senior post back home, staying a nice 4 bedroom condo with a maid and a driver.

Somehow…. I took a turning point.

I come from a good and maybe well-off family, had a perfect marriage (in everyone’s eyes), high flying career etc. Yet, it felt empty. I was more lonely back home than being here. Strange indeed. I mean, you are surrounded by good things yet you feel you are not connected to anyone.

Someone told me, ‘I want to be as successful as you.’ My advice was, ‘in your pursuit of success, don’t lose sight of your loved ones. What is a success if you don’t have anyone to share it with?’

I’m blessed with a beautiful and lovely daughter, good friends who treat us like family. Even when I’m miles away from home, I don’t feel as lonely as before. To find your true self, your inner peace, it’s not an easy task. My journey of finding inner peace was difficult but during that process, I found my courage. More strength than I could ever imagine. Sometimes when I feel things are not as smooth as I want them to be, I remember the times when I felt the whole world was collapsing and how I managed to go through that phase.

Maybe in order to find happiness and peace, one must go through sorrow and pain.

So here’s to my 30th birthday! To the lovely people in my life, thank you…

Ps: I thought of treating myself either a Bally handbag or a new TV. I chose a brand new LCD tv. At least the lil one and her friends get to watch their shows. Like my girl said last nite, ‘now the cartoons look bigger, mummy’.

pss: I realise the advice I gave to my friend a few months ago is close to 'Cinta' movie's script. Only mine was in English. :-)

2 comments:

Kak Teh said...

Happy birthday. Came here via ruby's.

Ms B said...

Hi Kak Teh,

Thank you! Dah tua. :( Thanks for hopping by.