Pre-holiday

Think I'm done packing. Just need to tidy the house a bit and off to the nearest cafe to have light meal. Luckily I decided to take the day off. Usually I still go to work if I'm catching the evening flight. Hopefully it will be a smooth journey.

Take care everyone!

Of waxing and holiday

Today at my usual beauty salon:

Beautician: Is it ok to have your daughter in here?

Me: Yes. Why not?

Beautician: You are here for Brazilian wax, right?

Huh? Luckily she asked, otherwise I’d have spent my Sunday in pain. *LOL* Anyway, not that my girl isn’t used to it. I think she has seen too many jungles each time she and her BFF (best friend forever) go for their swim. The women at the changing room bare all! The girls have fun commenting on them.

Besides, she knows I do it on my own. Only when I want to pamper myself, I get the professional to do it. I don’t think there is any difference between doing it on your own or spend an extra £15-30 for each treatment. Well, perhaps when it comes to, ehem certain difficult angles. If you are planning to wear a Brazilian bikini, then it’s a wise choice to get the professional. Otherwise, if you do it right, you can pass wearing a normal bikini.

Is it getting hot in here? *winks* Trust me. It’s the weather. It has been really warm these days. The past two days, I wore my beach style dresses with slippers. Wanted to wear sandals but knowing I had to finish my shopping list along Regent Street to Oxford Street, I resorted to slippers.

I’m 80% packed. Mini B is excited, more because she wants to see her friends and her second birthday bash. This year, her party here was more matured than last year. We had it at the bowling centre. I took the party package; an hour of bowl followed by party, complete with goodie bag. Stress-free. Last year, her theme was Pirates of the Caribbean.

As for me, I am actually looking forward to go home. I sense that it will be an interesting one, opportunities to explore.

Also, I am looking forward to see a few fellow bloggers, especially Simah as we have been gossiping tru the phone all these time, as well as D who indirectly knows me tru Simah and Kak Teh. Insya-Allah, we’ll meet.

Not my time

Looking back at the beginning of this
And how life was
Just you and me and love and all of our friends
Living life like an ocean
Now the currents slowly pulling me down
It's getting harder to breath
It won't be too long and I'll be going under
Can you save me from this

It's not my time, I'm not going
There's a fear in me
It's not showing
This could be the end of me
And everything I know
Oh, I won't go

I look ahead to all the plans that we made
And the dreams that we had
I'm in a world that tries to take them away
Oh, but I'm taking them back
All this time I've just been to blind to understand
What should matter to me
My friend, this life we live
Is not what we have, it's what we believe

It might be more than you believe
It might be something you can't see

There might be more than you believe
There might be more than you can see

I won't go!
No I wooooon't gooooo down!

Dreaming of you...

She's tough. She tries to hide it. She's difficult. But if you make an effort, she's worth it. She's worth the effort.

People keep telling that I look radiant and full of life, or from those who listen to my tone of voice, I sound chirpy and smiling ear to ear. Apparently they can sense my smile through the way I speak. People seem to think that I am in love.

I dont think I am in a relationship. I mean, I am not seeing anyone exclusively. I have friends, tho these days I am re-arranging my patterns. I am keeping my distance from negative minded people. They are pretty contagious. A friend said, it can be lonely at the top. I am learning my lesson but at least I am grateful to have my girl by my side.

People always underestimate me. Instead of letting them continue bugging my life, I slowly disengage myself from them. Perhaps some people love living on others’ misery. Like a leech, instead of sucking blood, they suck our soul and spirit.

Anyway, I can spend ages writing about the leeches but I rather use my time to say how good it is to have a friend who supports your dream. Funny enough, I told my desire to achieving something to two people. One simply laugh at it (ok, maybe not to that extreme, more like a smirk from the tone of voice), the other gave a very sound advice, pushing me towards achieving it.

I choose the latter.

Now I know you are the reason why I am smiling these days. Unknowingly, you have been touching my life all these while. I shall hold on to that dream.

ps: can I secretly wish of dreaming of you? *winks*

Love, loss and loneliness

Sepi hati terjadi lagi
Mungkin sampai mati aku sepi
Biar senyum hadir di hariku
Namun ini hanya ada di bibir
Di bibir saja

Aku ini yang bisa mengerti
Walaupun yang lain mau mengerti
Namun berat beban di hidupku
Biarkan saja biar saja
Hanya ku yang tahu

Sejarah cinta dan hidupku
Penuh duri dan banyak ranjau
Butuh kesabaran yang penuh
Untuk tetap kuberdiri

Oh! ada saatnya kubicara
Bila hatiku t'lah bulat
Sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua
Aku tetap diam

“Don’t you feel lonely with just you and your daughter here?”

Back then, I was surrounded by many people. I was constantly meeting them. It was the loneliest time I ever felt. To keep myself not feeling that way, I ensured my mind was preoccupied. First it was the education, then the career together with professional exam, subsequently the lil one came along and I juggled between her and my career.

It was the hectic lifestyle that made me feel less lonely.

Somehow, being away from people, having time for myself, not having to meet people’s expectations, make me feel at peace. Through my girl’s eyes, I learn that simplicity is the key to love and happiness. For all what we went through and the things that we are blessed now, always the simple stuffs that bond us together. Walking together to school, hanging out at the park, saying “love you” while she’s busy playing with her games (wii/ds lite/pc) and expecting me to say it back, the hugs and cuddles whenever we can etc.

Your love and faith has brought us this far, and it will lead us further. And now, when you are about to celebrate your birthday, remember that you will always be my baby girl. May all your wishes come true. May all your prayers are heard. And yes my dear, if mummy gets married, you will have the honour to hold my veil.

Gossip & hubby material

Come to think of it, the only reason I love watching Gossip Girl is the love that these two have for each other, even after 20 years! The scene when Rufus gave Lily away on her wedding (literally speaking) would have been the sweetest moment these two will ever share.

Speaking of gossips, rumours has it that I’m going to X city for an assignment. The truth is I don’t even know that I am part of the team. But hey, any news is still good, right? It shows that people think of me. *smiles*

Had an interesting text exchange with Mr Big:

Me: Your boss, The Armani Man, is really yummy. For his age, he looks really damn good.
Mr Big: Tell me about it. He’s quite a candy hubby material.
Me: Yeah. Tall, lean body, handsome looking in a suit to die for! Seriously yummy.
(I actually asked Mr Big if he could help me out. *LOL*)

Another interesting conversation with mom. She tried to promote someone through the phone! Told her that if I decide to get married, preferably he’s a friend i.e. someone I can talk to (of course it’s a bonus if he comes with a certain package.) *winks* In the last two months, including mom, quite a number of people think that I’m getting married soon (i.e. this year). If this keeps going, even I myself will end up believing. Oh yeah, even my horoscope said the same thing! “It’s a good year for your soul-mate to appear”. Something along those lines.

Goosebumps all over but who wouldn’t want a candy man, especially when he respects you as a person, a woman and a friend? Someone who protects your values and virtues.

Now, that’s totally priceless.

Anything but ordinary

“Why do I have to apologise for being successful?”

I met a young woman today. Only 22 years of age, and she is already a successful businesswoman. She is here on holiday, taking some time off from work (after ensuring future revenues are secured). I told her that she should be proud of herself. More than half of my friends around my age are nowhere close to where she is now.

When she shared her story of how hard it was when she first started her business, I could see she was trying to keep her tears from flowing. She related on how her friends looked down at her for not achieving the paper qualifications and for judging the way she appears when her values are much stronger and intact compare to her friends. Somehow, the woman who was sitting opposite me reminded me of me.

Now, when she has achieved this far, she feels she no longer has friends. I told her to not undervalue herself. As long as you put your heart and soul into something you believe in, and have a conscious mind that it is for the greater good, you will go far. She should be proud of her success, being able to come here on holiday for a few months, taking extra course to fill up her time and buying high end items for her family. The more you give, the more you receive. I believe her life is blessed because she shares it with her family.

So I shared my story with her.

I work with a large corporation, with presence worldwide. In my department, female makes up to 20% and from Director and below, only 4 of us are mothers. Of course I am proud with my achievement. We shouldn’t feel guilty for our success. We work hard for it. We earn it. Never let anyone make you think unworthy of your own success. Never let anyone pull your spirits down.

On a lighter note, I am now a proud owner of a Tods handbag. I hardly go to Tods as the price after sales is still way costly than a Ferragamo. But I went, found a nice one and took it (after much persuasion from Ms Versatile!). Even my sifus agreed it was a well deserved treat.

Always remember that you are anything but ordinary.

Of a wish

Sometimes you make a wish. And a wish falls as “a desire, longing, or strong inclination for a specific thing”. I made some wishes and best to say that, one by one, it was realised.

There are times that you just have to follow your gut feeling, trashing away all advice from your so-called friends and the “what ifs”. As humans, we analyse too much. As women, we do that twice more.

We are responsible for our own happiness. We have to trust our heart. Even when others fail to see, as long we know, that is all that matters. Some things are best left unspoken. As long as you both know it is there, it makes your day. It makes life more meaningful.

I had my wish granted today. I had some good news to share and all I could think of, how nice it'd be to have a good friend around. And I did, even if it was a short visit.

Counting my blessings each day.

Two become one

Booth: Here we are, all of us basically lone, separate creatures just circling each other, all searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places, some they just give up hope, because in their mind they think: "Oh, there is nobody out there for me." But all of us we keep trying over and over again. Why? Because every once in a while, every once in a while two people meet and there is that spark. And yes Bones, he is handsome and she is beautiful and maybe that's all they see at first. But making love, making love, that's when two people become one.

Bones: It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.

Booth: Yeah, but what's important is we try. And when we do it right we get close.

Friendship revisit

"Our true friends are those who are with us when the good things happen. They cheer us on and are pleased by our triumphs. False friends only appear at difficult times, with their sad, supportive faces, when, in fact, our suffering is serving to console them for their miserable lives." The Zahir: Paulo Coelho

I read the book a few months ago but somehow, recent events reminded me the above statement. I have this feeling that some people are not happy with the good things in my life at the moment.

There are times that you just can’t be bothered with some friends. Then again, if the above statement is true, are they exactly your true friends?

I believe we are capable to achieve the impossible dreams, or even better, our wish list. The only thing that is stopping us is ourselves, specifically, our minds. Good things do not come easily. I worked hard for the promotion. I had my fair share of late nights, thorough self review, taking more responsibilities from my directors etc. I have been managing home affairs on my own ever since the lil one came into my life. I know it took me longer than others to get recognised but I feel the time is right. I am in a better position to balance both roles, being a mother and climbing the career ladder.

It helps when you are surrounded by successful friends; Mrs Rock, Mrs Dior, Ms Versatile, Mr Milan, The Godfather etc. Every little thing helps, from treating us dinner to taking care of my lil one when I am away.

I am grateful for all the good things in my life; a lovely daughter, a good (or great) career and a dear friend (yet to be defined). Yet, it amazes me when people say things that make me feel I don’t deserve them.

Maybe I should consider the meaning of friendship. Maybe I should consider who should be my friends. I think I need a mental break from these people.

Seriously.

To be thankful

Today, I am thankful for people started to congratulate me for my promotion. From my peers to the top, and the compliments were sincere, spoken from the heart, with soft tone of the voice and the look from their eyes. I was not around when the announcement was made, thus I am touched that these people remembered.

Today, I am thankful that we are given a token of appreciation for our hard work. I guess we can call it as mid year bonus. It came just few months after we had our bonus. For people at my level, it is not much but I am sure it meant a big deal to our secretaries and staff. Still, getting free money is always good and like what best friend said, it covers my ridiculous amount of shopping for the past 2 weeks (hey, it is the sale season! My favourite brands were selling at 70% off). I have also treated myself a new purse after few years of wishing and browsing. An elegant white Loewe purse. It goes perfectly well with the new white Ferragamo handbag.

Today, I am thankful for having good friends around. I took Mrs Rock and family out last week to celebrate my good fortune. Today, the kids played at my home until 9pm. Mr & Mrs Rock waited patiently at my place so that the kids enjoyed themselves. My mom always says that having visitors at home brings blessing.

Today, I am thankful for a dear friend is thinking of me, that I am in his thoughts. Regardless how busy he is and whichever continent he may be, he drops me a line. Tho secretly, I was wishing for him to do so as I was missing our friendship. Also, who wouldn’t mind to get warm and fuzzy messages, right? *winks*

Today, I am thankful for everything that I have and I look forward for more good things to come.

Right person vs timing

Sepi



Sometimes it is all about timing. You could probably meet the right person but circumstances make it impractical or impossible to be together. You probably were with another person or vice versa, live in another city (or country) or have other (achievable) things to think of. Sometimes, you have fallen for that person all these while and only realise it at a much later stage of your life. Sometimes, no matter how strong you feel for each other, you know you are best being friends.

Giving without expecting. To love unconditionally...But somehow.. the more you give, the more you receive... We just need to have faith in it.

ps: Why do I feel that I can relate myself to this movie even when I know the possibility of watching it is very remote????