Thursday, May 01, 2008

Under your spell



You walked away, and now it's too late. There's too much water under the thing, or whatever.

I am trying hard to close this door. It is just shut, not locked and at any point of time, that person can just walk his way in. But I am trying hard to stand on my grounds. I am not sad, when I know I should. I guess it is partly due to the current roller coaster of my state of affairs. You know, like they always say, one door closes, another opens. In my case, there are two.

One of it involves serious thinking of my career aspiration. I have to decide where I want to go from here. Back in uni, I had this vision of working at one of the big institutions in one of the financial cities. Now, I have the opportunity. I have that “break”. The question is, am I ready?

I consider myself lucky for having such strong support from my mentors. Yet, I know I owe this to myself. It is not easy to be given this opportunity. If I don’t push myself or take up the challenge, who would. I need to get out of my comfort zone.

I have until tomorrow to decide. For now, I shall leave the men out of my life. I am not saying they are bad. We all love the attention, to be pampered, just to have someone by your side. For me, it is about the companionship. I cant deny that I am still smitten from the dates. But I need to wake up soon from this cloud nine, for my own good. Yet, I dont want to let go of this feeling. Somehow, it makes everything light, as if you are floating your way around. And suddenly life is a bliss. Somehow, when you feel generally good about yourself, it attracts more positive things in your life.

So I am letting myself float for the time being....

ps: Oh yes, I am under a spell. *winks*

i dont know what this is
but you got me good
just like you knew you would

i dont know what you do
but you do it well
I’m under your spell

7 comments:

U.Lee said...

Hi Ms Istanbul, the world is at your feet, go for it.
There is a light at the end of a tunnel, only thing is make sure not a train.
I switched jobs macham tukar baju young days as I was impatient to reach for the stars and fortunately the stars in correct alignment, by 30 I found, got what I wanted.....
Go make waves, Ms Istanbul. We only pass thru this world but once. Ha ha.
Have a nice weekend, Lee.

elara said...

Yeah, Go for it. After all,opportunity doesn't often knock twice.Besides, a lovey-dovey date could come with the job (this is the crap in me talking.. i think ..)

Ms Istanbul said...

Hi Lee,

Me making waves? Oh dear. I wish I can easily do so. Would love to have the high-flying career or better, make men run into lamp post or traffic lights. *LOL*

My only concern is the lil one. I have achieved the balance I wanted, a good career and being a mother.

When I am in the middle of a cross road, usually I ask the One above for guidance. MOst times, whatever decision I make, I would probably have calculated all risk.

Ok then. This lady will try her best to make waves (tho personally, I prefer to make the waves of knocking men down. *winks*)

Ms Istanbul said...

elara,

Opportunity doesnt come easily. Sometimes you have to work hard, sometimes, well, pure chance. In my case, it is a mix of both. I wasnt expecting it but I am getting the recognition. So yes, I am pleased.

heheh... I couldnt agree more about the "lovey dovey" date. I just found out that some of the senior directors have their own private jets. WTH?!?!? You know, maybe one day I can get one and have the "date" on the plane. *winks*

n|ns said...

ms istanbul,
leaving a trail? hmmmm... i don't really get u at that. but am happy u'll still be reading anyway! :)

Ms Istanbul said...

Hi momster mom,

Yeah, everytime if I want to comment, must put email addy. thats the trail. *winks*

I will always check your blog dear, esp reading abt imtiyaz. U have a nice day!

n|ns said...

i seee... can always leave email tipu2 no? ;)