And all she wants is just a little piece of this dream, is that too much to ask?
With a safe home, and a warm bed, on a quiet little street.
All she wants is just that something to hold onto, that's all she needs.
I started the day feeling good about myself. I was in my new beige trouser suit. My asset has always been my legs. The suit emphasises my height and the slimness of my legs. The weather was brilliant. It was another good reason for a nice day. Also, I was getting constant sms from someone, something that has been going for the past few weeks. *smiles*
Then slowly, I was beginning to feel the pain. It was bound to happen, especially when it was a sudden end. Despite the pleas, I managed to stand on my grounds. It is for my own good. I need to do this.
Instead of remembering the losses, I focussed on the things that I have.
I thought about my beautiful lil girl. She has her big exam this Friday and today after school, I gave her a call. She said she had her practice test. She could not finish the last question. At least she was aware of what she did best and what she needed to improve. She told me she found the “wishing” flower and made a wish. She wished that she was not thin. I asked why. She wants to be like her best friend, who is bigger (and stronger) than her. I told her that I was thin at school, yet I played sports, did long runs, etc. There is no reason for her to be sad for being thin. She also wished that there will be a good prince to take care of mummy. She has been wishing and praying that for some time, usually before she goes to bed. I think she is the sweetest girl.
Then I thought about my friends. Best friends who are miles away, my “sisters” here who constantly offer their support especially when it comes to the welfare of the lil one. What would I do without Mrs Dior and Mrs Rock? Sometimes when I am torn with my emotions, they will quickly pull me out and remind me that I deserve better. Mrs Dior said that if both of them are lucky enough to have a good partner, why should I not deserve the same?
I am also lucky to have a good career, one which balances my role as a mother and a woman. It pays well. Once in a while I can splurge on the latest gadget for the house, holidays for me and my girl, awesome outfits. Never thought that I would one day wear a few hundred pounds suit with fine Italian designer handbags and shoes (with my hard earned money). Not to mention the gifts received from dear Mr Milan and the Godfather (uncle D). Like Kak Teh always says, different people have different luck or “rezeki”.
By appreciating all of the above, the pain started to slip away.
Sometimes people forget that at the end of the day, I need to be reminded that I am still a girl. And if that person wants to make me feel so, just let it be. Even if it means that I have to travel half way around the globe. Not many people can spare their time for me and for him to do so, I am thankful. When others fail to see, at least he knows that no matter what, I am still a girl.