Fashionista

Dear Ms B,

Someone advised me that I need to change my appearance in order to get the attention from the opposite sex. It is a fair comment but the thing is, I don't even know how or where to start.

Can you please help me out here?

From,
Jane
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Disclaimer, this Jane is not our Blogger Jane. I've been asked on this topic for a few times. I thought it'd a good idea to write about this as I believe my friends here are more experienced and knowledgeable than me.

First of all, I don't believe you should change the way you look because of other people. If you want to do it, make sure it is for the right reason. Do it because you want to feel good about yourself and not about impressing others.

Second, baby steps. If you are like me who wear jeans, top and trainers throughout her entire life, you might want to try something easy. Perhaps a dab of lip gloss and basic powder. Try one of those all-in-one face bases. The whole thing will only take you about 2 minutes max.

As for your attire, maintain what you like and what makes you comfortable. There is no point wearing that gorgeous dress if you keep on thinking and checking to avoid any wardrobe malfunction. Instead, maybe you could try different colors and cutting. The next time you hit the stores, take a top in 2 to 3 colors and try it on. With the right tone and cutting, you will get the look that you wish for. I notice that if we try something bold (e.g. red), it somehow gives a boost to our confidence level.

Not forgetting the importance of color coordination. Just use whatever you have in your current collection and try mix and match accordingly. For those who don the scarf, it is easier to look appealing as what I notice. Most of my close friends wear them and oh my, they look lovely. The right kind of scarf does wonders to how a person looks.

You might have heard KISS but for the purpose of this posting, keep it simple and sweet. *winks*

Baby steps Jane..baby steps.

I am not a fashionista so any tips from my yummilicious bloggers and readers are much appreciated. *begging them with a sweet smile*

*Ms B is smitten yet unsure what caused her so. She needs to mull over the subject.*

Spark

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~ Albert Schweitzer

Please accept my heartfelt thanks for your wise and kind words. Just when I thought I should give up the idea of writing, your words have encouraged me to continue. As I look back at the times when I had my rough days and poured my heart out here, it was you who gave your time to read and lifted my spirits up despite not knowing who I was (and still am to most).

Thank you to my lovely blogger friends and silent good-hearted readers. Thank you for giving me that spark. I hope I have touched your life in a way I could possibly have just like what you have done for me.

*Ms B apologises for this short entry as she is down with a bug. She just wanted to tell how much she was moved by the words received. She hopes she gets a good night sleep and dreams of a juicy topic to be posted next.*

IGNORANCE IS A BLISS

Brennan: Wait, you said that in books you could find the real world version.
Booth: Yeah, well, I mean, if you know you, it's pretty obvious.
Brennan: Well, give me an example.
Booth: Ok. Well, in your book, your partner is a former Olympic boxer who graduated from Harvard and spoke six different languages. In real life, you've got me.
Brennan: So what you're saying is that reality falls far, far short of fictional.

Booth: Yeah, thanks a lot, Bones.

I blog because of I love writing. I suppose it is something that I have in common with my mother. She is good with literature, at par with Kak Teh I reckon. I am nowhere like my mother or in blog's world, Kak Teh, D, NJ or Pugly. They write extremely well and I love their selection of words.

I may not be as good or as "femes" (copyright from Kak Teh) as them, but hey, it doesn't stop me from writing. I love keeping my readers entertained, even if it requires me to do some research despite having a corporate jet-setting career (courtesy from NJ) and being a single parent. Some are my own recollections and as every writer, we have to squeeze our creative juice so that the readers have a feel of the story.

So if you read my blog and think that my real life is far short from what I write, then just stop coming! Besides, I thought in blogosphere, one is entitled to each opinion. As a dear friend said, "some people have this PhD attitude." (no offence to D, Inah or LilHappyMe. She wasn't referring to the doctorate certificate. *winks*).

Instead of spending time here, why dont you do yourself a favour by doing something more beneficial such as reading self help books or related to your job, taking a course or whatever. Besides, as I always say to others:

IGNORANCE IS A BLISS!!!

*Ms B is thankful that she has selective amnesia. She wonders why some people think that they are still in high school.*

updated at 2300:

Thank you for the sms (feel guilty after reading ur post today. yet u still made time for me) and the brownies all the way from aussie. Not to mention Ms Versatile who got back from work at 10pm and still picked up the phone. She reckons I should get a new pair of shoes. *LOL* So yeah, I am feeling fine.

Tag

I was tagged by inah.

Rules of the tag:
1.Take a recent picture of yourself OR take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair…just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture.
5. Tag people to do this.

However, due to confidentiality, she was kind enough to amend the rules for my sake. So here it goes Inah, a picture of a book in my collection:


Anyone wants to have a go with the tag? Probably Jane, Darlene, CG, n.i. or momster (have you recovered from your jet lag dear?).

*Mini B was feeling under the weather a few days ago but it didn't stop her from going to school and attending her swimming lesson. She also got a new pair of knee high boots from Russell & Bromley. Mummy said they were on sales, cheaper than Clarks. Oh, apparently Boxing day sales will start a week early for some shops. Mini B hopes mummy dearest wont ask her to tag along.*

Art of seduction

Most virtue is a demand for greater seduction – Natalie Barney

Over the weekend, we did our usual trip to the book shop. While waiting for her, I usually pick a book to fill my time, which on average takes about 1 ½ hours. A book caught my attention, thin enough to keep me entertained. Oh by the way, just in case if you think I'm exploiting the shop for free, we usually get 3-5 books a month from the same shop. *grins*. Anyway, below is the excerpt from the book reproduced for the sheer pleasure for you ladies:

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We all have the power of attraction—the ability to draw people in and hold them in our thrall. Far from all of us, though, are aware of this inner potential, and we imagine attractiveness instead as a near-mystical trait that a select few are born with and the rest will never command. Yet all we need to do to realize our potential is understand what it is in a person's character that naturally excites people and develop these latent qualities within us.

The Siren
The Siren is the ultimate make fantasy figure because she offers a total release from the limitations of his life. In her presence, which is always heightened and sexually charged, the male feels transported to a world of pure pleasure. She is dangerous, and in pursuing her energetically the man can lose control over himself, something he yearns to do. The Siren is a mirage; she lures men by cultivating a particular appearance and manner.

The Ideal Lover
Most people have dreams in their youth, but they get shattered and worn away with age. Ideal lovers thrive on people's broken dreams, which become lifelong fantasies. You long for romance? Adventure? Lofty spiritual communications? The ideal lover reflects this. He or she is an artist in creating the illusion you require. In a world of disenchantment, and baseness, there is limitless seductive power in following the path of the ideal lover.

The Dandy
Dandies excite us because they cannot be categorized, and hint at a freedom we want for ourselves. They play with masculinity and femininity; they fashion their own physical image, which is always startling. Use the power of the Dandy to create an ambiguous, alluring presence that stirs repressed desires.

The Natural
Childhood is the golden paradise we are always consciously or unconsciously trying to re-create. The Natural embodies the longed-for qualities of childhood—spontaneity, sincerity, unpretentiousness. In the presence of Naturals, we feel at ease, caught up in their playful spirit, transported back to that golden age. Adopt the pose of the Natural to neutralize people's defensiveness and infect them with helpless delight.

The Coquettes
The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction—while waiting, the victim is held in thrall. Coquettes are the grand masters of the game, orchestrating a back-and-forth movement between hope and frustration. They bait with the promise of reward—the hope of physical pleasure, happiness, fame by association, power—all of which, however, proves elusive; yet this only makes their targets pursue them the more.

The Charmer
Charm is seduction without sex. Charmers are consummate manipulators, masking their cleverness by creating a mood of pleasure and comfort. Their method is simple: They deflect attention from themselves and focus it on their target. They understand your spirit, feel your pain, adapt to your moods. In the presence of a Charmer you feel better about yourself. Learn to cast the Charmer's spell by aiming at people's primary weaknesses: vanity and self-esteem.

The Charismatic
Charisma is a presence that excites us. It comes from an inner quality—self-confidence, sexual energy, sense of purpose, contentment—that most people lack and want. This quality radiates outward, permeating the gestures of Charismatics, making them seem extraordinary and superior. They learn to heighten their charisma with a piercing gaze, fiery oratory, an air of mystery. Create the charismatic illusion by radiating intensity while remaining detached.

The Star
Daily life is harsh, and most of us constantly seek escape from it in fantasies and dreams. Stars feed on this weakness; standing out from others through a distinctive and appealing style, they make us want to watch them. At the same time, they are vague and ethereal, keeping their distance, and letting us imagine more than is there. Their dreamlike quality works on our unconscious. Learn to become an object of fascination by projecting the glittering but elusive presence of the Star.

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I didn't finish reading it. I read just enough for me to analyse which type I fall under. *winks* I believe the book did mention that it was not about getting someone into bed (although I am sure we love the idea, eh?). *evil thoughts* On contrary, it is about being the object of desire by knowing your greatest asset, which may not necessarily be physical attributes, and the character of the person you wish to be your admirer.

You can review (actually, read) the book here. *winks* Oh, do I get chocolates or cookies for posting this?

So which seducer are you?

Faking & blending

Booth: Yeah, by now I usually have a feel for the person, what they wanted, how they felt, what was going on in their lives. With this girl, nothing.
Brennan: She thought she was ugly. She did everything she could to make herself beautiful. And all she did was make herself more invisible.

I caught up with Professor Fox yesterday, a friend who has known me for almost 2 decades (crap! Now I really feel old.*rolling eyes*). We talked about people from the past and how our society has changed. It was not the first that I heard about people becoming materialistic. In fact, I was told that there was a show which covered the worrying trend among the young(er) generation of resorting to “tapping their assets” for an easy way to a comfortable life.

When I first started working, the pay was peanuts compared to the responsibilities and hours. I never heard of fine brands and probably didn’t have time to shop anyway. Whenever I had to work long hours, I saw it as an opportunity to learn and improve my skills. In fact, once my MD apologised for making me staying late to help him with his presentation materials with the Board. I was heavily pregnant then.

Almost a decade later, despite being able to shop at Sloane Street or New Bond St, I still maintain the same rules on spending. Whenever I go back, I shop like a Malaysian. I love Vincci, Jusco, Tesco etc. I still think twice to buy something worth more than MYR50 because I remember back then, that amount was considered excessive.

I suppose since my circle of friends share similar traits, I find it strange when I hear their complaints of the society. For those who are in managerial posts, the woes often consist of the lack of determination among the young ones and their dissatisfaction with pay. Of course a graduate’s salary is never enough to buy Gucci or Prada. They either charge it to the credit cards, get a rich man (or woman) to help out or for those who can’t find one, they turn to fake goods.

People want to fit in. I get it. We change our appearances to blend in or to gain targeted people for fame or whatever reason. Probably it is because I have gazillions things on my mind that I don’t have the thoughts of blending in. But then again, I am known for being a weirdo anyway as my close friends have observed e.g. selective amnesia, life changing decisions, impromptu actions. It is also one of the reasons why I only have and maintain a handful of friends.

How far would a person go just to be accepted? It seems that there is no limit. When everything is superficial, what makes us unique then?

Perhaps it is also another reason why my friendship with Professor Fox remains strong despite the distance and time. Being able to buy fine things is nice but having good friends who enjoy a cup of teh tarik with you is way much cooler (and yes Fox dearie, I am workaholic as before but slowed down a lot).

*Ms B wanted to post about the art of seduction which she thinks her readers would love to read. She needs to do more research before posting*

Sexy juice, anyone?

Booth: Okay, news bulletin for ya'. Bones, there is not a, guy in this country who wouldn't want to have sex with you. Probably half the gay men ...
Brennan: Are you being nice about me, or awful about British men?
Booth: Wexler is not special, you are.

Of late, I've had interesting discussion with friends. The topics were mostly about dating and relationships. A friend mentioned that he hardly asks anyone out due to his appearance. I couldn’t believe my ears upon hearing as I think he has great personality. He even has a good career, thus he has to look good for board meetings etc. Yet, deep inside he feels he is a John Doe.

Then I told him, “did I ever mention that I was hardly noticed in high school and uni? Hardly anyone asked me out.”

He was shocked, “then what happened?”

I told him that I was a late bloomer. My work grooms me to appear immaculate and being a mother forces me to be fit. Try to keep pace with a growing child, then you’d understand. The thing is, I never expect to be getting this much of attention at my age. I’m in my 30s and a mother with a demanding career! Do the math. Men would go for young girls or women with less issues.

I think with experience and this age, I have less expectation with dates. Then again, when a guy insists that he wants to take me out on a proper date, complete with wine and dine, I usually decline. Often the best dates I had were with someone unexpected e.g. an old friend and did simple things e.g. coffee. I guess it is a bonus when they happen to be yummilicious inside and outside. *winks*

I believe everyone has their chance to shine. Never underestimate a plain jane or john. I don’t blame my friends for feeling like that despite looking like a babe or hunk now. Often we can’t get rid of the past. The good thing is that, with people like this, we enjoy simplicity.

So to those Jane or John, if you happen to fancy that hunk or babe, just ask them out. If you happen to be that hunk or babe, just give these people a chance. Go out and enjoy the moment. You never know what’s in store.

Anyway, today my department decides to do some charity. We are “penalised” for wearing casuals and the proceeds go to charity. I thought my colleagues look good in their suits. Today, they proved me otherwise in their jeans. They look HOT!!!! Oh, did I mention some of my colleagues are seriously yummy? Remember the most eligible MD in my department that I wrote about some time ago? He was practically hanging out near my desk for some time and I just couldn’t breathe. All I could think was undressing him. *LOL* *evil thoughts*

So to my female viewers, have fun with this clip:

Cringe moments

I decided to take Kak Teh's challenge tho I must say, being this boring lot like me, I hardly had any cringe moment. I shall try my best.

Cringe moment 1:
While talking to a gf on the type of materials that I prefer to wear, I said “latex is good too as it feels smooth on your body.” A bunch of guys were seated next to us had a big grin on their face upon hearing. I meant to say lycra. Probably they thought I was into something kinky.

Cringe moment 2:
My girl and her BFF were talking about the view that they got in the changing room at the swimming centre. They spoke about the glory of the jungles and how one differed from another. Then the lil one said out loud, “well, my mummy doesn’t have one. She does her waxing all the time.”
We were having lunch at a restaurant by the way and suffice to say, many eyebrows raised and some eyes winked upon hearing.

The following cringe moments are not mine but worth mentioning.

Cringe moment 3:
During my second visit at this particular cafe, almost everyone behind the counter remembered my name as well as some of the regulars. I was impressed, kept going and became close to another regular. By the 3rd and 4th visit, I was already getting free coffees without fail. I found out it came from Mr Latte, the regular who was always friendly and sometimes flirted with me. This went on for almost a month but neither of us had another’s phone number. Then one day, after wishing me good night, I suddenly asked him in front of everyone, “So when are you going to ask for my phone number?”

The rest of the guys smacked their heads and looked at this guy, signalling how stupid he was for waiting for so long. Mr Latte blushed and asked for my number.

Cringe moment 4:
While having breakfast on a nice Saturday morning, a guy asked if it was ok for him to sit opposite me. I said he could and he started his pick up line, “why does a beautiful woman like you sit all by herself?” I then replied that some of us enjoy having breakfast on our own. He then continued bragging about himself and I tried hard to maintain a straight face. We later found out that a junior of mine back in uni was his school mate. He kept asking for my number and since we had a common friend, I gave mine.

I went home and when the lil one woke up, I took her and the nanny out. The guy started to call and it was not even an hour after I left the restaurant. He kept asking me to go out with him that day but I declined politely. I think he called at least 3 times in less than 2 hours after we met!

Then a few hours later, he called and said, “why didn’t you tell me that you are married with kids? I called Guy A to get information about you. He obviously knew where I was heading and told me, “dude, she’s married and has a daughter. You are way out of your league”. Do you know how foolish I felt?”

My reply, “well, you didn’t ask if I was married or single.”

Served him right! Next time, don’t bug me when I am enjoying my breakfast. My friend, Guy A, and I, had so much fun talking about this.

Good nite everyone!

Meeting new people

Angela: Just have fun. You know, every once in a while you might meet somebody who's worth it.
Amy: What if he's not?
Angela: Then you've got something else to paint about.

One of the sacrifices that come along with this role is my beauty sleep. For the last 2 weeks, I’ve had a few of 8am meetings. My office hours officially starts at 930am, thus I had to wake up an hour earlier. I felt like a zombie as I had a late one last night. I was out on a date. *winks* A good friend was in town and we went for late night shopping. I always love taking a stroll along Regent and Oxford St during winter despite the weather. But I suppose more often, the strolls are taken with someone close to my heart. Anyway, we took a cab from there to our usual hangout to have dinner.

So there we were, enjoying conversation and companionship. I told Big the current roller coaster of my life. Perhaps I’m so used of being and feeling like a plain Jane that I find it hard to believe that anyone is genuinely attracted to me. I also told him that I don’t understand the need of mixed signals. Why is it when I’m fine with them not wanting me that they start to give the extra TLC? Then he said, “Who says you are a plain jane? Men find you more attractive when they see that you are content by being alone and that you don’t need them. Hence they start to chase you with greater effort.”

Ah, now it makes some sense. But it leads me back to square one.

Big: “For all you know, there could be a new person that might appear along the way.”

Then today, at my meeting, I made a new friend. He thought I was a graduate. *LOL* It means I’m almost 10 years younger. I told him that I’m old and have a daughter in primary school. He gave his business card (and as usual, I forgot to give mine. Typical!). When I got back to my desk, I dropped him an email and said thanks for the words. For a woman, it is a big compliment. He replied, “it was great bumping into you this morning.” There was a smiley in his email too. I wouldn’t expect a smiley icon coming from a senior person. *smiles* Lunch or coffees are expected as his office is just next to my building. I think he appreciates the fact that I have experiences in his sector. I think so. Otherwise, why would he even bother to take time to talk to me anyway?

But I hate it when Big is right.

Of history and dreams

Mini B: Do you know who is Martin Luther King, mummy?
Me: Who is he, honey?
Mini B: He was the famous African American who fought for human rights for african american people. During the old days, people were mean to the african americans. He said that no matter what colour is your skin, we are all people. He also won the Nobel prize. His famous speach was "I have a dream".

She told me about Martin Luther King a few weeks back and whenever we see his picture, she'd quickly say his name. I suppose after this, she'll remember Obama too, being the first black president.

Coming back to my girl, when we first came here, she was timid in every way. She hardly spoke a complete sentence in English. The first few months in nursery, she was very quiet and lacked of confidence.

Now, she is the only Malaysian in her school and it doesn't stop her from being a school council (by election). On top of that, she was awarded merit or top 2 in her class last term. She also signed up for violin lessons and this term, she has asked me if she can join the Mandarin club. Her after-school activities include religious studies, additional school work as I bought activity books and language lessons. I must give all credits to her as they are her initiatives. She sets her own target and plans her diary. She reminds the nanny on what she needs to do for the day.

Looking at her and how much she has grown, I know we are doing fine. As Obama said in his speech, "And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can."

Never doubt your dreams for only you can make the changes.

Obama's full transcipt can be found here:

The hot date

The top question for today was, "Any dates with yummy men this week?"

OMG!!! I couldn’t believe myself when I saw the incoming texts from a few friends. I thought women were more interested in handbag than candy men. Mrs Cooper, the 1st person I called to share my latest steal was interested in my love life (not that I have one. She meant the dates of course). It is not that she didn’t care about the handbag. Mind you, she has been persuading me to get them for ages. She knows me too well when it comes to spending for myself, hence explains why she always reminds me to splurge.

Despite telling the girls of the bag, they were all interested in yummy men. Hey, it's not like as if I get hot dates all the time. Besides, I have other things to do such as reading (I bought 2 books but they are still untouched), completing this DVD box set, watching my favourite TV shows etc. FYI, I have declined dates in the past simply because they clashed with my favourite series.

I will choose the TV and sofa over a candy man anytime (unless of course if he doesn’t mind coming over and watch it with me, preferably with a bucket of ice cream). *winks*

In case you are wondering, my date for tonight is:

The magic word

I have been eyeing this handbag for a few months now. I told myself that it will be in my wish list for this coming December's sales.

Then today, one of my Sifus, The Iron Lady, is in town and wanted to catch up. We took a stroll to her favourite place, New Bond St, as she wanted to get a red handbag (she gave hers to her daughter). Knowing her, if she finds something she likes, she'll buy them (with or without discounts). Perhaps it was our lucky day. While browsing in our favourite store, the sales assistant said the magic word. Yup. Some of the items were on sale for the day.

I ended up with this (it is the closest design I could find. Mine is soft black non-shiny leather with a bit of silver metal on the handle):

Looks like I have to ditch the boogie bag from the wish list (or probably I can postpone it to Easter. That way, I wont feel guilty. Or pray harder for a decent bonus). *rolling eyes* But I just bought a handbag 4 months ago. Sigh. A woman simply couldnt resist the magic word. By the way, it was really a good bargain.

The lil one responded differently tho, "I know this shop. You always get their handbags. But why didnt you bring me to go shopping? I thought I was your fashion consultant." Gulp! It is not helping at all knowing my girl has fine taste. I'd end up shopping more!