The curious case of Mr Good Enough

Every woman I know – no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure – feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried.

Single women often declare they’d “rather be alone” than settle for someone who doesn’t fill out their (usually unrealistic) checklist. With that mentality, alone is how you’re probably going to end up.

Feminism gave women this sense of entitlement that we deserve someone who’s perfect. And then we meet the so-called perfect guy and he’s out of our league and has no interest in us and we tell our girlfriends, ‘He must be secretly gay’ when in fact he’s just really not that into us.

This woman has caused almost every single female who come across her book or articles on it to be on their toes. Any hardcore feminist will certainly feel outrageous just by reading the snippets of it in newspapers or magazines. I wouldnt be surprised if some spill their coffee or drop their cup in the process.

There is a different thinking cap between a single woman and a single mother. By default, single mothers in this context is referred to those who were married or in partnership before, unlike the author of the book who chose "tadpole" bank to fulfil her wish of becoming a parent.

Some single parents think many times to settle again, especially when they manage to balance between kids, career and other aspects of life apart from relationship. Some are content to have the company of family and friends. To be honest, we'd be lucky if we have room to think about romance. After a long day of running home affairs, kids' school and work, all we only think is to get in bed and sleep.

Somehow the idea of having prince charming or princess of hearts simply slips away. Once in a while, when miraculously we have the privilege of having some time to ourselves that we start to cringe for the presence of someone, preferably as hot as those in Grey's, Gossip Girl, Tree Hill (Obviously this isnt happening).

Now, as for single people, more often than not, the subject of dating will arise in conversation. It is somehow can’t be avoided. The idea of finding ‘The One’ or settling down will pop up, either be lightly touched or heavily debated. I just met a buddy of mine last weekend and he happily shared the news of finally in the dating scene. Yup, even guys in their thirties do talk about it.

I think the author hit the right points but her message could have been explained better. I disagree of settling down just for the sake of it. However, we know that there is no such thing as the perfect one. Those only appear on tv or movies. Hey, even McDreamy was still legally married when Grey met him yet eventually things turned out ok in 4th series.

It is good to have a list. It means we have certain standards to be met. Yet when it includes someone tall-dark-and-handsome/supermodel features, graduated from Ivy League, 6 pack abs, excellent cook or domesticated, fat pay cheque, and it goes on and on, the chances of meeting someone who fits all those requirements is close to nil.

It is about setting realistic expectations. You meet someone and feel good about them. Yet they have some flaws (in your eyes) and that makes you hesitate to commit. As long as the imperfections are not related to crime, being alcoholic, drug addict, being swingers etc, then by all means do give it a shot.

Anyway, for those who missed the hype, you can read the following articles for your reading pleasure:

Wise girls settle for Mr Good Enough
Miss Make-do seeks Mr Good Enough

At the end of the day, if you are not happy with your own company, even The Perfect Catch will still unable to meet your expectations.