Wednesday, November 08, 2006

An old friend

I received an email from an old friend. She’s expecting her first child. I’m very happy for her. I’m sure she’s counting the days (like I did).

My friend thought that I’m planning to go back to be on track on my career path, “Knowing how strong and ambitious you are, I'm sure you'll do well in yourcareer no matter whatever your decision is!!! That is something that is very admirable about Ms X I've known for 16 years.”

Hmmm, has it been that long ie our friendship? Time sure flies. Part of her statement was right. I am ambitious. I don’t believe I cant achieve my goals. It’s whether how much I want it.

You see, now, my career progress is a bit slow (compare to what I used to). Yet, I also realise how much I miss the little stuffs. Reading a book before her bedtime, making roti canai over the weekend, experimenting food etc.

So I guess, at the moment, I have the best of both worlds. I have time for my girl and a good career. It may not be a great job but it’s still a good one. It’s enough to cover our 2 bedroom apartment in central London, her nanny, our shopping, our holidays (we’ve travelled 4 times this year!).

Of course, deep inside I wish I have someone apart from a 5 year old kid to share my life with. A companion. Someone to share my thoughts, my feelings, my fears, my achievement etc.

I think I have found that someone. But maybe I’m scared of being hurt again. Maybe that’s why it’s still hard for me to open up.

It takes time to heal the pain, to trust, to love and be loved…

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