Twitch of the eye

I was planning to go to bed by 10pm but since I have been sleeping after midnight these days, my body clock couldn’t adjust that easily. How I miss those times when I could easily sleep for 8 hours straight. In fact, I remember during my third year, I had one or two evening classes and I usually went straight to bed after those 2 hour seminars, which was by the way ended at 8pm and journey from campus to home was 10 minutes walk.

Fast forward, I’d be lucky if I get 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Waking up in the middle of the night is a norm and when I’m more tired than usual, I tend to get disturbing dreams. Dreams are fine as long as they are not about work. When they do, it usually means I need to control my stress level.

I suppose the older you get, the less sleep you need.

Although I was sleep deprived for the past few days, at least I wasn’t stress. Up until last night when a colleague mentioned about anxiety attack and the twitch of the eye of being a sign of strain.

I thought the cause of the twitch was because of the lack of sleep or something else and had nothing to do with stress. Clearly my body contradicted how I felt, or so I thought. Perhaps I was under pressure subconsciously. The body wanted to tell me but I was clueless, as always.

Maybe it is high time to rejuvenate myself. I have yet to use the spa gift given for my birthday. Probably it makes sense to do it soon.

For now, I could settle with a good rest. The lil one would probably advise me to have a bath with her bedtime bath lavender, followed by lavender lotion. It seems it works for her.

Nostalgia

More than a decade ago:


Build up your confidence
So you can be on top for once
wake up who cares about
Little boys that talk too much
I've seen it all go down
Your game of love was all rained out
So come on baby, come on over
Let me be the one to hold you

First blog award

Guess who got her first blog award? *smiles* D seems to think that I deserve this. I am still scratching my head on how she got that figured out. Just like her, I dont care how other perceive about my way of raising the lil one. Without her love, patience and faith, I would not be where I am. Anyway D darling, thank you.

It seems that the award comes with a set of rules which are:
1. Admit one thing you feel awful about (involving being a mom). Once you have written it down, you are no longer allowed to feel bad. Remember you are a good mom!
2. List 7 things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you.
3. Send this to 5 other moms of the year that deserve a reminder that they too are the best moms that they can be. Remember to send them a note letting them know you have selected them, and also add a link to your post that directs people back to the person who nominated you.

1. I am having a hard time to think of one as I have MANY that makes me feel awful. A combination of being strict, juggling my career, trying hard to be a super mom etc. For now, let’s just stick to one.

Being strict. She knows very well how much emphasis I place on education. She makes sure that she does her school work the moment she gets it and does not wait until the day before submission to do it. Sometimes she takes time to answer and my level of patience can be very low (as proven by my siblings as I used to coach them. They think I am harder than my parents). Occasionally it leads to tears and yup, it breaks my heart each time, especially when there is no one to comfort her. Dont get me started on drawing the line when it comes to buying unnecessary things, no matter how cheap they can be. I dont believe in wasting money. Saying no is always hard and I end up feeling guilty each time.

Having that out of my chest still doesn’t make me feel good. Maybe just a little less bad.

2. The wonderful 7:

1. She wakes up with a smile on her face and places a kiss on my cheek every morning. We often take our time to cuddle or her saying, “a few more minutes, mummy”. That usually leads me leaving home without breakfast as we have to rush to school. Now you understand why it is very important that I have comfortable shoes, no matter how nice the stilettos will look on me.

2. She writes love notes all the time and when I least expect. She is good with artwork (the opposite of me) and takes time to create it. When she was younger, she used to hide them in my bag or under the pillow.

3. She never complains no matter how challenging life may be. Sometimes when I am away, she often tells me not to worry about her and the nanny will take good care of her. She never cries during our phone calls but apparently, sometimes she does after we hang up. She just does not want me to worry.

4. She rarely asks for anything. If she likes an item, she will look at it and ask about the price, even a £2 magazine/book. If she has gotten something earlier, like 2-3 weeks before, she’d ask if she can get the magazine next month. I am always touched by her gestures and of course, I’d get the magazine on the spot.

5. She makes me feel that I am a great cook. Sometimes after our meal, she’ll come to me and hug, saying thank you for making such a lovely dish, even when they were just sardines and omelette!

6. I learn to live life through her. She guides me to feel young and appreciate the roses along the journey. She tells me to let my hair down and just dance. Sometimes we sing and dance in a mall or at the park, oblivious of other people.

7. She picks me up when I am down. When I am ill or sad, she makes a card or asks the nanny or the aunties to get me flowers.

3. I now award this to:
D – I know I’m supposed to find 5 new moms but I dont care about the rules. You deserve the award again and always remember you are a babe!
Simah – You’ve done well dear! Being there, raising your kids, driving and now lecturing. You go girl!
Kak Teh – You might think you are crazy but I’m sure somewhere along the way, you have had the right magic potion that your kids turn out great.
Momster – I simply love the way you talk about the lil one. Always a pleasure to hear news about him.
n.i. – This woman will go extra length to make sure her kids are well fed, even making her own nuggets!

Tag

Finally I have time to write and blog-hop. I know I owe some of you things to do. First is the tag from Darlene. I’m going to have a hard time finishing this tag but here goes:

Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog/Facebook note with 16 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 16 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment or tag them in your note to read this.

1. I recently realised that when I am stressed, I lose weight, have sleepless nights, bad breakouts and dark circles under the eyes. To counter attack, I am starting to eat twice as much or stuffing more cheese. Thankfully the breakouts and circles disappear within a few days. I have yet to figure out on the sleeping part.
2. I was feeling a bit lost a few days ago.
3. I managed to put some cheerful vibes by Friday.
4. While doing my undergrad studies, I was about 15 kgs heavier.
5. I was once a UK size 4 or US size 0. Thankfully it only lasted for a few months.
6. I did a close version of backpacking holiday around the UK for about two months when I was an undergrad. It was a solo journey from the land down under to here.
7. I used to subscribe Cosmo more than a decade ago. I remember having at least two years of subscription (there goes my pocket allowance).
8. These days, my daily reads are Forbes and Fortune, almost without fail. An obvious sign of ageing. *sigh*
9. I drink mocha every day.
10. I miss nasi lemak kerang (and thank you dear for thinking of it and knowing it is an impossible item to request from home).
11. I am looking forward for my day off this Friday and meeting a dear friend.
12. I wish I can cook more often for my girl.
13. I wish for a long hot bath.
14. I cant get rid of this Lily Allen’s song out of my head! Hence I decided to put it on my playlist, hoping it’d disappear soon.
15. I took revenge today by getting myself a phone in RED! I think it was payback time for the amount of stress and energy I experienced. (yeah right! That should not be an excuse to shop.)
16. It seems romance is still alive and kicking in my life. I take back my word. *smiles*

Phew.. I managed to complete the tag. *pat on the shoulder* I think I’ll skip the tagging part.

Smooching roses

Picture from latimes.com

Mini B: Mummy, are we going to get roses?
Me: Why?
Mini B: It is Valentine’s Day!

I totally forgot about it up until a few friends mentioned the subject two days ago. I was so tied down with work and other things e.g. school meeting that it slipped away from my mind.

Blimey! Am I losing my sense as a woman? Or perhaps romance has definitely died in my world. *rolling eyes*

Anyway, wish you happy love day! Smooch your loved ones.

And no, we didn’t get the roses. Instead, it was home cooked meal for the two of us. Roast chicken with mashed potatoes served with mushroom and black pepper gravy.

The match

I am exhausted, sleepy and probably stressed judging by the amount of sleep or worse, dreaming about work. Why can’t it be simpler i.e. sexy men giving me back massage during my sleep?

At least I managed to squeeze some time for a lovely dinner on Monday, wearing that red cocktail dress. A friend was in town for the most talked about match and I was invited to join him for dinner. Not that I had the opportunity to sit with him as he was hosting dinner for the five rings games committee of his country, including The President. I was seated with his English speaking business partners and thankfully, they talked about the economy and not sports. Before I left, I went to his table to say goodbye and he introduced me to his friend, the VP of the committee. The guy said that he heard so much about me. Indeed I was flattered.

Then the next day, I managed to leave early from work and headed to his hotel to go to the match together. Apparently, the Brazilian team was staying at the same place. There were 8 of us going to the match; his close friends, business partners and his MD. I didn’t manage to get a glimpse of the players as we left early (there was a queue outside the lift).

The traffic was bad as expected but we arrived at a reasonable time. I knew we were going to get good seats but it didn’t come across my mind that we’d get a box. Well, for me of course. I’m sure he always gets the box whenever his country or his team is playing.

Anyway, the view was awesome! I took some pictures of the match but I think there were more photos of the box. *LOL* And don’t get me started on the food. Yummy! Entree and main course were served before the match and during half time, we had dessert.

I really had a nice time and made new friends. One of his business partners is an MD of a large company in Europe and told me to let him know if I decide to come to his city. Mrs Ferragamo, the wife of Mr Ferragamo, his close friend, invited me and the lil one to visit them in Venice.

I better get some sleep now. Apology for not being able to be more creative with this post. All I can say is that Italian men can be very charming. It does not help when they don’t have the ring on the finger or that they happen to be good looking. (Notice the plural in that sentence? *winks*)

Too much information

Dean: Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: Too much information.
Sam: Hey, I told you I was coming clean.
Dean: Yeah, but now I feel dirty.

I realise when I’m in a company of a younger man, he tends to reveal too much information. Things that you wouldn’t want to hear as a friend, let alone as a date. It feels like he is trying too hard to prove that he is worthy (or matured) enough to go out with you.

Trust me, any rational women would not want to hear about your past encounters, or that you actually have done it. Neither the experience nor the quantity proves anything. It does not define how manly you are. You can claim that you have credentials just by stating the obvious but it doesn’t mean that you have what it takes to please a woman.

More often than not, men who boast about their encounters don’t have a good GPS. In fact, some may not even have one.

I probably can chew most stuff because it’s just me. I know my friends find it easy to blurt things out, even if the subject discussed requires an open mind. I have no problem to listen or give my opinion.
But.... I really find it odd when I barely know that person or perhaps I do but not that close, that he starts to tell about his glorious past (or current encounters). Seriously, do you reckon that I’d be impressed to see a foil nicely tucked in your wallet? I wonder how exactly it reflects you; that you are prepared for an opportunity. So that’s a good thing, really? *rolling eyes*

For some of us, your experience is irrelevant. As I said, some men, no matter how good looking they are, do not have GPS. Otherwise, why do you see so many manuals out there on the book shelf? Through trust, communication and love (yes, I am a romantic fool!), it will be an earth shattering moment.

But seriously, it is so uncool to show your “Durability, Reliability, and Excellence” packet in the wallet. Huge turn off, at least for me. No more dates.

Snow etc

Each time we see snow, we get all excited. It snowed three times today and by the third fall (which was not long before I’m writing this), it was so heavy that the roads, lawns, cars were covered by the white flakes. What a beautiful sight! I had to carry the lil one so that she could get a better view through our window.

It was a good way to end our weekend or perhaps, to start the week with. The lil one is feeling much better today. I got a phone call from school on Friday saying she wasn’t feeling well. It was just an hour after I dropped her off. It took me by surprise when I arrived at the school’s office and seeing how poor condition she was. She had high fever.

So when we reached home, she asked, “mummy, why am I sick?”

“Probably you are going to get bigger”, I replied.

“Hmmm, I think God heard my prayers. He knew I have to go to the deep end today. I get to skip it and stay home instead”, with a grin on her face. She was referring to her swimming class. Even when she’s sick, she still makes me laugh.

So it was a stay-at-home session for both of us for the past two to three days. We both ended up reading and me cooking three days consecutively, which was by the way a big deal to her (and me). Finally I got to complete one book and glad that I bought it despite I was not familiar with the author. The moment I picked up the book, I couldn’t put it down. There was so much about the story that I could relate myself to. Perhaps I shall tell more of the book on another day.

But for now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to spend the night with the two new lovers of mine; Dean and Castiel. They are on tonight. *winks* *naughty thoughts*

Updated @ 915am: The school is closed and we only found out after we arrived (they hardly close no matter how bad the weather can be)! Snow is about 5 inches++. Apparently my colleagues are still in bed and here I am worried about getting to work on time. *rolling eyes*