If I had wings

If I had wings
I would touch a tip of a rainbow
And slide back down to land

If I had wings
I would taste a chunk of starlight
And retain it for someone’s birthday

If I had wings
I would listen to the whispering clouds
Telling me the secrets
Of the bright, queen star

If I had wings
I would gaze at the raindrops
And gather them up to make a picture

If I had wings
I would smell the refreshing wind
Calming myself from anger

If I had wings
I would dream of meeting the queen star
With her orange, long dress
And curtsy back to her

By Mini B @ school

When she recited her poem today, I was taken aback as it was melodiously written. She has given her permission for me to share it with you (esp for Little A & mummy, Momster, Aunty D). Her only request was for me to have it aligned centrally.

Now, dont you feel like having a set of wings too? *smiles*

Of becoming a Gilmore

Rory: I just got scared and I sat there.
Lorelai: I understand. You know, I'm still learning this stuff too and since I'm still learning, I think I haven't thought enough about what I'm supposed to be teaching you.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: I'm talking about my own personal lack of commitment skills. I mean, look, I love that you have my eyes and my coffee addiction and my taste in music and movies, but when it comes to love and relationships, I don't necessarily want you to be like me. I would hate to think that I raised a kid who couldn't say I love you.

When the young lady first watched this series, the first thing she noticed was how much we had in common, “they are like us, mummy!” From the obvious to little things such as clothes (I was told that my dress was exactly like Rory’s), she got herself roped into this drama and keeps highlighting our similarities.

There were times that I could picture our life would be like theirs when the young lady hits in her teens. Rory’s journey from a small town girl to a gutsy Yale graduate has made her blossomed into a fine character. It is my wish to see my own little daughter to take a similar path, although getting into an Ivy League would probably mean long distance relationship for both of us, something we’ll find hard coping.

Sometimes I wonder what she sees in me. As I watch the emotional struggles of the Gilmore Girls, I realise their issues are similar to ours. The strong bond they share meant that the concept of sharing, and perhaps love, remain an issue. In her eyes, I am probably a super-cosmic heroine, capable of overcoming challenges and granting her wishes no matter how odd they may sound. We have our share of ups and downs and perhaps she understands me the most. I couldn’t think of a better person to be my soulmate.

Recently someone whom I haven’t heard for a while asked about me. I told this person that I resigned a few months ago and I am spending my break with the young lady. The news came as a shock as she probably did not see this coming. A person who did not know how to slow down has finally took the plunge into a world of SAHM.

I am giving myself six months of leave but truthfully, I do not know how long this break will last. Even today I was asked if I was interested in a top finance role back home but of course that is no longer in the picture as the chances of us settling there is slim. For all I know, being a Mary Poppin suits me more as I appear to have less wrinkles as claimed by a few. *praying hard that it’s true*

Most importantly, I think we deserve to try this concept of love and share. It is good to be pampered by someone else apart from her and vice versa. At least there is another person whom she can argue even if it is online or on the phone until this move takes place. Sometimes we just have to tell ourselves to give us a chance when opportunity knocks and that it is ok to feel good about it.

The curse of

Adamaya.

All because of a video clip, I found myself glued to this series and watched up to 14 episodes over the last two days! I even managed to squeeze in between advertisements while watching the finale of Gossip Girl.

Adakah jejaka-jejaka bernama Adam kacak belaka? *kenyit mata*

I met Maya some time ago here and we chatted for half an hour or more. I couldn’t remember how we ended up talking. As I was oblivious of the entertainment world back home, she mentioned she was an actress and had a movie coming. Quite a pretty girl and she sounds exactly the same in the series.

At the rate I am going, I should be able to finish in two days but it’s Friday, hence I have social obligations with the young lady. Plus, it’s 26 degrees today. Yippie! I am looking very summery in my short twirly dress and leggings matched with white cardigan and ballerina.

Have a nice weekend friends!

Bumps and bruises

It's a common belief that positive thinking leads to a happier healthier life. As children we are told to smile, be cheerful, and put on a happy face. As adults we are told to look on the bright side, to make lemonade, and see glasses as half full. Sometimes reality can get in the way of our ability to act the happy part though. Your hope can fail, boyfriends can cheat, friends can disappoint. It's in these moments when you just want to get real, drop the act, and be your true scared unhappy self. ~ GA

My days are spent organising things to make it easier for this move. Six years of history need to be assembled in a manner comprehendible upon unpacking. Bits and pieces of items are tucked together in small boxes and folders, which included sorting out beads of four different craft-making sets of bracelet and necklace. Not an easy task when they were bundled in a big bag. Thankfully the young lady has an eye on details, thus dutifully helping me out. Phew!

Naturally, the act unfolds bittersweet memories. A look at a picture, card or gift triggers a flashback and we can’t help but wonder how did we get from there to here. All I can say is that there is no map or manual to guide us in this passage.

People tend to camouflage their life, thinking that by doing so, they would appear happy. Everyone has a different way in handling void in life and maybe this method works best for them. Yet chances are, it is a quick temporary fix and delays the act of facing the real issues, something most of us dread doing. It is better to have a distraction and get ourselves caught in that whirlpool until it stops at our own pleasure, hoping that by then we are ready to deal with the situation.

Unfortunately, we never are.

Perhaps it is good to let the distraction carry us away for as long as it takes. Perhaps it is better to appear happy and shiny all the time, despite whatever is going on in our head.

Yet, why can’t we allow ourselves succumb to our own emotions? Why can’t we tell ourselves that we should do things differently and face the music?

Sometimes it is ok to let our feelings have their way and that we should be permitted to stay in bed and cry all day. Sometimes we need to change the way we’ve been handling things so that for once, we might get a different outcome.

Letting our emotions flow shouldn’t be seen as a failure and one day in bed hardly counts. Similarly, doing something different and against the norm could be a good thing. Even I have to speak the languages of mythical creatures to understand what’s inside the young lady’s head.

Life is about having bumps and bruises. As long as we have our first aid kit by our side in whatever form, it should be ok. It makes life interesting.

You're beautiful

Momster thinks I’m worthy enough to get this award which I humbly accept. Many moons ago I was told that she had been reading my blog quietly until one day she decided to leave her caller ID, resulting me becoming her stalker instead. From blogspot to wordpress, which I wasn’t keen at first as I had to give email whenever I wanted to leave comment until she brilliantly came up with the idea of fictitious address, and now back to blogspot, I have always enjoyed reading her post.

Now let’s start cracking on this.

The Rules are as follows:
Step 1. Accept the award and put it on your sidebar.
Step 2. Describe 7 things people do not know about you.
Step 3. Award the Award to 7 other Beautiful Bloggers and describe why they deserve the award.

Step 1: Done

Step 2: This is going to be challenging as my regulars are my friends, hence you guys probably know most of these things. I’m going to follow Momster’s footstep and change it to “might” instead of “do”.

1. People assume that I always maintain this figure of mine forever but there was a time that I used to be chubby and I blamed it on the residence’s dining hall during my undergrad. The three-course dinner was hard to resist and within weeks I successfully gained a few kilos (ok, close to ten). I managed to lose that weight after I broke up with my first love. He on the other hand tripled in size after he got married. I love Karma.

2. I was never an actress back at school. I always performed but they were only dance routine, never involved anything on script. I could never see myself acting until I did my foundation studies and performing arts was compulsory. The major assessment was performing at a theatre where everyone at campus was welcomed to watch. My friends were beyond belief seeing I was playing the most evil and wicked character.

3. I can’t draw, period. The young lady always gives me a hard time when this subject arises. She however has an artistic side and her horse looks like those sketched in story books.

4. I consider myself well-travelled. I’ve been to 12 countries I think (plus one if Malaysia is included) and some trips were taken with the young lady. I was a bit nervous when we had our first trip together but it gets easier as she becomes older.

5. I am a facial virgin. I would like to try but whenever I enquire about it at my trusted salons or beauticians, they usually tell me otherwise. Simply because my routine works for me or specifically, my skin. Perhaps less is better.

6. Currently I think Damon in TVD is hot and when he found out Katherine was never in the tomb, it showed his soft side. It makes him so bloody irresistible.

7. I am loyal to certain brands. I take my mocha from the Mermaid shop.


Step 3:
1. D – A creative writer. In addition, she is always there whenever I have an SOS situation, giving me the ‘check-and-balance’ view.
2. Naz – Another witty blogger and her post in Kedah slang puts a smile on my face, no doubt at times I find it hard to decode.
3. IDB – I always wonder how she manages to capture those up, close and personal pics with sea creatures.
4. Jumper – A father of two who happens to be a chocolate maker. He’s a chocolate maker, need I say more?
5. Danial – A photographer who loves sharing his view of the world through his beautiful caption.
6. Korean Lover – I think she should be hired as a Korean ambassador. From food to tv shows, she gets it covered.
7. Hunny – There is something about the way her mind works.

Ok people, please update your blog accordingly. Thank you for being beautiful!

Of dresses and purses

It has been awhile since I last stepped into my favourite shops. Perhaps my desire to acquire pretty things has reduced significantly. Sometimes guilt consumes me as I am no longer working, thus I refrain from splurging.

I am passionate about lovely, dainty items and usually they hardly fall under the category of high street. I have my own set of rules when it comes to spending. Sometimes it means a handbag or a pair of shoes (or that long maple honey coat in January) in the shopping basket. Occasionally, only a few tops from those well-known brands from Spain and Germany can be acquired.

As I had to do some shopping for friends yesterday, I decided to detour to my usual places. Upon checking their goods, a SA spotted me and said, “I remember you. You came here with your friend. You got that handbag and she took the ballerina.”

This is one of the many reasons why I love shopping in London. Their attention to detail and friendly service do wonders to customers like me.

I told her that people have been asking about my arm-candy and many did not believe that I had it for almost a year. She then started to push the right buttons, “the new runway collection is out and I think you might like them.”

Obviously I saw something that I love (make it two) but as I highlighted above, I broke away my gaze with a heavy heart.

TH Catherine

The temptations didn’t stop there. As I walked along the street, my eyes caught the new designs by Campbell and Baker. The collaboration of these designers fell into my radar and I decided to check them out. To my surprise, some items at this place were quite catchy. I fell for a huge purse which goes well with my dresses whenever I dine out. Another item that caught my attention was the floral wrap dress, perfect for summer or alike which I am bracing myself at the new city.

TB dress

Alas, my brain ruled this time and I didn’t spend a dime during this impromptu shopping trip. Just a few months to go before my break ends and I’ll probably be back to the workforce population. I am already making plans on what I’ll get with the first paycheque. It feels like starting your first job after graduation. If only I can take away the wrinkles and look like eleven years ago.

Where are you, Nanny McPhee?

When you need me, but do not want me, then I will stay. When you want me, but do not need me, then I have to go.

Do you think she’ll bend her rule this time as I am in dire need of help with this packing? My home is like a shipwreck and getting those old stuff from our wardrobe, storeroom and under the bed storage is not helping. My dust allergy got so bad yesterday that I had to stop and went to bed early.

And today my migraine decided to keep me company. Just great!!!

Reality bites

The boxes arrived yesterday and we have successfully packed two of them. I’m hoping we can get them ready by this weekend for collection and to be shipped to Malaysia. My guess is a quarter of her old toys and books would be cleared to give away to her cousins and friends. She even remembers to pack her fairy wings for her favourite god-sister. She was told of the child’s obsession of this mythical creature and perhaps this small gesture will lead the princess one step closer to fulfilling her dreams of becoming one, sans flying and granting wishes of course. *smiles*

The arrival of the boxes has also made me realised that it will be a matter of time for us to bid farewell to this place. Emotions have been running high and wild to the extent that I feel I need to take Prozac to keep me calm. Perhaps I am full of anxiety, typical when you are about to embark on a new adventure.

I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way as it will be my 4th city in fifteen years. In fact, I should be a pro when it comes to relocation. Perhaps deep inside I know this time it will be slightly different. The young lady surprises me with her positive attitude and level of acceptance. She can see herself living there and already has started making plans, obviously includes an element of water. She even calls herself a mermaid and I should prepare myself for weekly beach or pool trips on top of her school’s swimming lesson. *smiles*

I should see this anxiety as a good thing. A new chapter will be written with additional flavours added. I know it will take me to places I haven’t discovered. Wherever it may be, I look forward to the journey.