Blue devil

This blog was left unattended for a good reason. I was not feeling good these days that I had to give myself some space from everything. Suffice to say that I was on the brink of depression, if that makes any sense at all.

One thinks that after constant relocation, the next place one heads will be a piece of cake. Even when you feel it’s for a good cause, there is no way of telling how you’ll cope with new environment and atmosphere.

There were many things that led me into thinking on whether this move was worthy. From school to work, daily trivial tasks to public perceptions and expectations, I was beginning to compare the life I had before and the one I’m leading now.

Then I realised it was like comparing Mocha and Americano, having the same coffee element but with different mix. It was not fair for me to be analysing the things that I achieved back then to the challenges I am facing presently.

Somehow I managed to snap myself from this blues yesterday as if I just walked out of a cave after a period of confinement. I started to see bright sunshine and blooming flowers, giving back the smile on my face which seemed to have lost for quite awhile. The dinner we had at a popular Venetian theme place last night where the young lady enjoyed a meal of beef ribs was lovely.

I am aware that things may not be as planned but I am thankful for what I have. For example, my job sucks and despite knowing my market rate is 20% higher than what I am getting, it is still a decent role and my spending power has doubled (or tripled), if I want to splurge of course. The young lady’s school isn’t that great but she is slowly enjoying it and the new guitar lesson seems to be adding joy to her life.

Most importantly, I am thankful to be doing all these in the presence of my loved ones.

Birthday wish

I celebrated my birthday a day earlier with a trip to the hospital. Somehow, I was the worst among all and had to see the doc. We spent a good 3 hours there and while I was busy being attended by the staff, the young lady and partner squeezed some time at the cafe, eating tuna sandwich (I think).
I really thought I’d be strong enough to go to work but I supposed it was a wise move to stay home judging the lack of sleep and continuous coughing throughout the night. Doc gave me two days off and so did the young lady. She only had mild fever but doc thought it was better for her to recover fully before she hits school.

Apparently, doc told me to be careful whenever I get the cough bug as the climate isn’t kind to people like me. It will make it ten times worse. If previously I fell really ill once a year like my episode of swine-like flu last winter, I should expect more occurrences of those while here.

Hmm, maybe that will make the partner to reconsider moving back to Europe. *wishful thinking*

Anyway, we were too busy sorting out our health that even I forgot it was my birthday. *LOL* Geesh! That shows how old I am that I even skipped it from my memory.

So what do I want for my birthday? A new handbag of course! *grins* A big one which can fit everything as I have been using the same bag every day for work. Perhaps purple, maroon or beige. I expect this to come from my own sweat, which means the partner should be getting something different. It would be lovely if he is creative enough to find one which matches my current bling-bling. *winks* Yet I know him well enough that I should specify my requirements as often he’d be clueless.

As for the young lady, she made the card way earlier, complete with my favourite things e.g. Jason Mraz. *smiles*

I am sure the handbag and bling-bling can wait as the only thing I’d like to wish for is speedy recovery.

Weekend random

We were too lazy to go out, partly due to experiencing flu-like symptoms, that I ended up playing this:

Have a nice weekend!

Cruella de Vil

It feels different to be at home at this time of the day when I am usually stressing myself at my desk. I owe this luxury to my daughter as we have child-care issue today, leaving me with no choice but to cut my office hours short. I am sure (some) people at work are annoyed as most are burning the midnight oil but heck, I have very little to do with the things they are struggling.

So....I dropped the bombshell to my director last week just a day after he got back from his white Christmas holiday. He refused to accept. It took him a few months to ‘find’ me (the post was vacant for quite awhile) and he gave all these words that made me mellow, a sweet talker indeed. Oh, he’s the opposite of charming and you wouldn’t want to mess with him. He has no qualms saying those typical British curses and you just have to put a straight face whenever he blows up.

Instead, he’s planning to restructure the team which will give me more support. Eventually, I get to say who has to leave. The next few weeks will be interesting, in view of the power struggle and resistance from the affected people.

My role just got more challenging and I will definitely be awarded Ms Cruella title once this restructure is finalised.

It is not easy to be me.... sigh....