Most of the time I am ok, taking each day as it is, trying to find a glimpse of ray through those grey cloudy skies or changing the tune of the raindrops to a soothing rhythm, so that winter doesn’t feel as cold as it should.
However there are days that I feel at total loss, not knowing what to do or whether I have enough strength to support those who need me. All I want is to hide myself under the duvet and let the dam break, allowing those suppressed emotions flow freely.
Sometimes it only takes a message from someone who appreciates your gesture to keep them in the loop, thinking you are brave and rational to plan things ahead, and that if they were in our shoes they would probably sink than swim, to break you.
It is hard when the person who held your hands and guided you when you were young is now relying on you to be their rock. The roles are now reversed and your mind has to be focussed to keep them going. You have to assess the situation from all angles and give suitable advice, hoping that it would be the best course of action.
Winter is here but the worst is yet to come. When it does, I pray I am ready…